“Love is the only thing that I know which can put you in chains and at the same time make you feel as though you are the freest person to ever exist!” Mike Maphoto
When I entered the house I was fuming! I was angry at him, myself and above all I was angry at Miriam! How could she introduce me to a married man really? Did I look like someone who can be a side dish to her like really now? She needs to respect me! She might be a friend but that most certainly is not the way to show friendship.
“Who is that hot guy Lungi, wow you have been keeping secrets from your big sister?”
My sister asked as soon as I entered the house. I had even forgotten she was here and this was one of those times I really wished I was alone. She was standing by the kitchen counter eating an apple using a knife. She put the knife down on the counter immediately and walked after me as I had gone past her. She was practically waiting for me which made it even more annoying. I couldn’t even breathe the way I was so annoyed right now.
“What a fucken bastard!?”
I screamed. I was in tears. My sister stared at me for a moment, shocked because I never swear. I was actually quite hurt. I know it sounds a bit dramatic considering I had only known this guy for what, three days but it was enough to drive me crazy. Maybe I had potential to be one of those pyscho women men warn each other about.
“Don’t tell me you have been dumped? He was so nice when he was here what did you do to him?”
She asked me. Just imagine she did not even give a second thought to him having been the one at fault. She did not; it was me who was to blame as usual like I had ever done anything to anyone.
“Why do you have to assume that it’s my fault? Why must it be that I am the one who messed up? Why can’t it be him who did?”
I asked her. My sister was the one person who was not intimidated by me. She stared me down like I was being stupid and when I was done with my verbal tirade she calmly asked,
“Are you done?”
You should have seen my heart sink at that moment. She had defeated me with just three words.
“Now talk to me properly like I am your older sister and tell me what happened!”
She asked me.
“No need to be dramatic and to throw around big words like this!”
She said. I had not used a big word but that was my sister’s way of telling me to calm down.
“He told me he had a wife!”
I said and sat down. She had come here as a married woman because her husband was cheating on her. Surely she would see why I was angry and join me in my anger but alas.
She asked me.
“I beg your pardon?”
I asked her.
“So what he has a wife?”
I swear I was confused by this woman right now. I even raised my hands up in defeat.
“Are you not here mourning about the same thing? How can you say so like this is right?”
I asked her. She went and sat down and said,
“Look, if there is something I have learned is that whilst as women we are too busy worrying about our men, truth be told they don’t care. They don’t give two fucks what we do nor who we do it with as long as they don’t find out! You think I haven’t been asked out by many men since I started wearing this ring, of course I have but guess what, and I did nothing. He was probably asked out once and what did he do, he slept with her. Who is the loser now? Me or him?”
So eloquently put. I must say I was taken aback because it is not what I expected. I did not get a chance to reply because there was a knock at the door. I knew who it was.
“It’s him! Go talk to him and stop being a baby?”
My sister said and again left the room. Sfiso, what was I going to do with him. I stood up and went to open the door.
“Can I come in?”
He asked politely as though he had been kicked out before.
“Unless you want to stand there all night then be my guest!”
I responded cheekily. I was not going to fall for his charm again.
“I think in is better than out!”
He stepped in cautiously. He walked in and for some reason he looked on the kitchen counter.
“Is it ok if I put the knife away, I don’t want any …accidents you know?”
He said making fake inverted commas in the air. Wow did he really think I would stab him with that knife the way he had stabbed me in the heart! Idiot!
“Do what’s best for you!”
I told him coldly. He walked into my kitchen confidently, opened the water, washed the knife, dried it, turned and said,
“Where does it go?”
Who the hell was this guy?
“Second drawer on your left!”
I responded. If I was not so angry I would have thought he was the sweetest man ever.
“Why are you angry at me? What exactly did I do wrong?”
He asked me. When I stomped into the house a few moments earlier I knew exactly why I was angry at him. Now that he was standing in front of me the reasoning well, did not sound quite right.
“You knew you had a wife and still you led me on! How could you be so cruel?”
I asked him angrily.
“I never led you on. I respect you for your intellect and smart conversation. I really enjoyed your company. Had I known you were seeing me as a potential boyfriend I would have told you immediately? I am sorry if you thought otherwise!”
He said. Its one thing to be dumped by yourself but the realization that my sister had probably heard me being dumped made the knife sink even deeper.
“Why do you flirt with women though if you married and where is your wedding ring?”
I asked him! See why I say never trust light skinned men. They are usually good enough to be just fuckboys as they know they are pretty. As husbands they are dogs of the worst kind! I had known this when I went into this and now look what happened! I only had myself to blame.
“I am sorry if that’s what you thought I did and I take it back too if it means I can make you smile one more time!”
He said but gone were the days of smiling. Had this guy just friend zoned me? Could I not sink any lower than this? Saying “we can still be friends” is like saying the dog died but we can still keep it! In this case I was the dog!
“Why would you want to make me smile?”
I asked him. I just had to ask! I was asking for it.
“Because you are my friend!”
It never hurt so much to hear that someone actually wanted to be my friend. Inside me a little voice screamed,
“Eli Eli, lama sabachthani?”
Imagine. I was quoting the bible in the process of being dumped.
“I have enough friends thank you. Go back to your wife.”
I told him coldly. My sister had said it does not matter but for me it mattered. I was not going to be someone else’s scuftin. Do I look like Tupperware to you?
“I am sorry then for the misunderstanding. Keep well!”
He said and turned around and walked out. I wanted to run after him like they do in the movies but with 90% local content nowadays I doubt we will ever see that again. Sigh! What a waste?
“You let him go?”
My sister walked in very annoyed at me and shocked at my actions.
“Maybe I should just become a lesbian!”
I said to her and she rolled her eyes.
“They cheat too so makes no difference. You need to get off your high horse and realise that the world is not what you think it is when it comes to relationships! Look at me as your example. Angry as I am, by the end of the week will probably be home with the same lying cheating husband of mine telling him I love him!”
She said concluding her reality. Could I ever be this weak though? Eish, I don’t think so. Pity the man I marry because if ever he cheats on me I will cut off his balls in his sleep and feed them to him! Tshini! Yho!
“But I don’t understand you honestly. So why were you crying? Why were you sitting outside my door when I got back? I heard what you said that you will go back in a few days, to a cheating man!”
I said to her.
“You would never understand because you have never wanted stability and to settle down. Mum always says it. You don’t want to be a wife because it takes power away from you and puts it in the marriage!”
Here we go again. I decided to end the argument there before it became a full war.
“Speaking of mum, did she call you about the cancer thing?”
I asked her.
“No. With me it’s not cancer, it’s something else! I can’t remember what she called it but I am not going to entertain it!”
She said and we both laughed. My mother was a full bag of tricks that’s why we stopped running whenever she said she was sick.
“I already miss my husband!”
She said as I sat down next to her. Peace had been achieved.
“Really now! Already!”
“Yes, his warm body on mine, him touching me and the sex! I miss sex!”
She said and I gave my disgusted look.
“The way he touches me and penetrates …”
“Euuuw I am going to bed!”
I told her. She was sleeping in the bedroom next to mine so she knew her place. She laughed as I stood up to leave.
“You could have been having sex right now and you know it!”
She shouted after me playfully as I walked away. Is that all that women are good for though? To be used for sex regardless of what else the man does on the side?
“No thank you! He must go back to England and get it from his wife!”
I retorted. I closed my door behind me and I actually started crying. I know I had put on a tough act but I had let him get under my skin and now it hurt. This is why I don’t like falling for men; they are often full of shit.
My phone rang and it was Miriam! The nerve of this girl like seriously!
“Hey, I just spoke to Sfiso and he said you guys had a fight!”
She told me.
“Of course we had a fight thanks to you. Why do you send me to a married man really?”
I asked her angrily.
“What else were you expecting Lungi? You are getting older now and all the older men out there are either married or engaged! You are reaching that point where to get a man you have to take him from someone else!”
She said so confidently but I was so offended.
“Did you just say that to me?”
I asked her.
She asked back!
“That I am only good for the married ones!”
“No, I said that at some point only married, engaged and men with many kids from different mothers are left as you get older, unless you want a ben 10!”
She said defiantly. I can’t believe she actually had the nerve to repeat that!
I dropped the phone on her!
******The End *******
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Thank you for reading my letter and greetings to the other readers.
I have been married for 17 years and I am a teacher in Ulundi. In that time my husband has cheated on me, beaten me up and taken two other wives even when I was against it. I am Zulu by the way and would say am educated but I realized that as long as society says that its right for a man to have this much power the abuse would never stop. I decided to leave my husband and start afresh but now everyone has turned against me, including my own family. They believe that I should be happy that I am the first wife because it means my position has not changed. I must take my salary to take care of two grown up unemployed women? I cannot do that. My children are 16 and 14 respectively but because they are boys they want to stay with their father and not me. The young one even told me that it’s my fault that the family is falling apart. I never signed up for polygamy; I fought him when he did it and when the third wife came at a ripe old age of 19 I was done with him. How do I win back family though as in my sons who are unhappy with me as well as my parents who think I should follow Zulu culture? For me polygamy really offends my human dignity as a woman and I can’t go back there.