Y.E.S 15

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

“A man who cannot afford himself more often than not cannot afford you but that does not mean if you can afford him you should not try to invest in him or each other! As long as women believe that a man should earn more than them in a relationship they will always be oppressed mentally and second class to men. His worth should not be his money but what he does for your relationship!” Mike Maphoto


Unless you come from the Zionist Christian Church, Shembe or any one of these black churches that dress women like we were still in 1961 there is nothing fashionable about a doek on your head let alone old stockings. Hell Americans even tried to call it a bandana and even that did not work. Stockings, whether new or old on your head are simply not attractive and married men who live with that every day of their marriages deserve a gold star! Firstly she looks like she has just swallowed a hot egg because whether a doek or stockings it makes your head look round and swollen. Secondly, if he is seeing you for the first time with them on your head he is questioning himself on whether or not you have ever used them as normal stockings before? Mischievous guys like Sfiso would certainly not miss that point. I am certain he was thinking that. It refusing to come off my head was something only a bicycle would do, you can be the best rider of a bicycle but the moment you ride it when they are people around, your friends or if you a guy, hot girls, you will fall!

“Sorry to surprise you like this but I was in the neighbourhood and figured a hello was in order! Nice apartment!”

He said with that cheeky grin of his.

What did this mean now? I know I have been looking for a man but was I ready to date. Dating has politics and these politics are worse off at the beginning of it all when you still don’t know where you both stand. Firstly you have to figure out whether or not he is on that tip. Men are complicated! You can never ever predict what his intentions are after you sleep with them. I knew a girl, Lebogang; she dated this complete dooshbag for about 8 months not giving it up. This guy was nice to her and so loving. When she eventually slept with him, the following day he dumped her and said this was not working. This is a true story and I know that is not the first time I had heard of it. After they broke up we discovered that he was sowing his oats elsewhere all along that’s why he never pushed too hard to sleep with her. When he was still dating her and as girls when he was not pushing for it, it read as though he was such a brilliant man who did not put sex above all else. We all wished we could have a guy who could be so mature and so understanding but the snake, was already cheating on his virgin girlfriend. Yes she was a virgin; I could not even make this up if I tried. Secondly, loyalty is not something that men a famous for. To their friends yes, man can be like that crew in The Hangover will do anything for their mates but when they are just dating you that’s a whole different story altogether.

“I think you surprised me more than I thought. This is my sister Stacy, Stacy this is my…friend… Sfiso!”

I introduced her.

“Oh now we friends mmmm didn’t know that!”

He said and moved in for my sister.

“Forgive me ma’am but can I hug. I see you have been crying and I think you need one. I won’t hug my…friend…over there because she is denying me now!”

He said to her with that charm of his. My sister the treacherous bitch stood up and hugged him,

“Goodness where has she been hiding you?”

She asked him.

“I don’t know. Every time I come here she wears that onesie and that thing on her head. How does she expect a relationship to work like this though?”

He said and they both laughed. They were talking about me when I was right there. Like what the hell really?

“Sfiso, my sister needs a whole new makeover maybe you will be the one to inspire it!”

My sister said. Mara whose side was this girl on really? Shouldn’t she be taking my side?

“Last time I came I asked her to offer me tea and she said men who drink tea are gay. Just imagine. I was so hurt!”

He said with a serious look and tone looking her straight in the eye.

“Wow she did that?”

Stacy asked him,

“Yes imagine! There I was cold and wet because I had waited for her to arrive in the rain and she says that. I don’t know what to do with her like honestly…”

He said making a mock crying sniffling sound.

“Wow really Sfiso!”

I said incredulous to his charm. My sister got the joke and she laughed and punched him playful on the shoulder.

“Oh wow that was brilliant. I fell for it hey and believed you!”

She said. Why would she not believe though? He had this thing about him that put your at ease?

“Stacy can you please give us the room!”

I asked my sister who was clearly not about to give us privacy. She was enjoying his attention too much.

“Must I really go?”

She asked me dreamily as she walked out.

“Nope, you mustn’t leave. We are leaving! We just going to take a drive and I will have her back safe and sound in an hour or so!”

He said.

“We are?”

I protested.

“Yes maim we are but pray the police don’t stop us with you dressed like that. They probably will have us arrested thinking we are from Bloubasrand!”

He said and this time even I laughed. He had embarrassed me thoroughly yet he had put so at ease it felt like it actually never happened.

“Can I leave my phone to charge in the meantime?”

He asked me. Mine was also charging but the man was like a boy scout and he came prepared with his own charger and all.

“Sure why not but I was never going to change for you and Stacy don’t listen to this fool, he is stalking me!”

I said as my come back but it was rather weak and I recognised that in its entirety. I could not match his wit even if I tried.

“I am also living my phone, it’s a long story eish will explain!”

I told him as we walked out. I was so at ease with this guy he made so comfortable. If you have lived in the Lonehill area you will learn that the roads are not that long but are built like a maze. It’s actually a bit of a nightmare as these are estates making it a concrete maze.

“Where can we go where we can talk privately?”

He asked,

‘What are your intentions with me?”

I asked him trying to match his playful nature.

“Lol shem! Did I just say shem?”

He asked out loud,


“Good, shem, after having seen those stockings on your head do you think I still have ambitions?”

He said laughing. It was not funny but annoying but you know what, he knew how to time his jokes so I ended laughing at myself too. At night most girls with a brain dress for comfort. We don’t do this whole show off business where we wear skimpy pyjamas that barely cover our asses. I am sorry but for me so called sexy nighties are demeaning to women and should be a crime against humanity. I hope mosquitos bite your exposed buttocks,

“That’s good! You have seen me at my worst and still asked me to come out so am cool with that!”

I responded. How is that for banter?

“Ok you win.”

When he tried to start the car it gave a false start and he had to do it two or three times before it started. I was even about to say let’s take my car when it started.

“This battery has been giving problems all day. Next time I get a rental I must ask them to drive the car around first because this is ridiculous!”

He complained. I got what he meant. Rental companies will only make you look at whether or not the car has chips and fuel otherwise engine things they don’t. You drive away with a dud thinking you have a good car. We drove out and he asked me where we should go.

“I know a place where we can park. It’s safe and not too far off.”

I told him. It was still within the maze of estates, behind them. It was not a park per se but could have been with beautiful flowers. The neighbourhood watch in this area is intense and carries guns meaning it was relatively safe.

“Awesome then!”

He said. When we got to the place he was playing Metro FM and “Hello” from Adele was playing and I just love it.

“Please don’t switch off this is my song!”

I said. Every girl has a thousand songs which she says are her song. We are all like that so it’s not like I was going out of my way to find a song.

“Girls will be girls!”

He said and he let the song play but switched off the car. It was a mix so three songs played in tandem all of which were my song. Imagine, being spoilt to such good music so early in the morning. My God is good.

“I think we should move from here and rather go talk in your parking lot. I am not really comfortable here!”

He said.

“You such a coward!”

I said laughing at him. He shrugged it off and tried to start the car and guess what?

The car was not starting.

What the hell?

He tried two or three times and the engine was totally dead. The radio must have lowered the battery power which was already weak when we left.

“We need to push it then jump it?”

He said.

“I will push and you jump it ok. I will tell you when to start the engine when I push!”

He said. I have tried this before in the villages and I failed. I know I will not be able to do this.

“I can’t!”

I told him. Goodness this was so embarrassing?

I was about to push a car! On the bloody first date!

“O Lord why have you forsaken me!”

I said out loud.

I am not being dramatic but if on the first date, the guy who’s taking you out’s car needs a push but only you are there to do it, would you do it? Let alone in a onesie.

*******The End********

*onesie – a full body suit pyjamas worn by females especially in winter.

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Hi Mike and the readers first of all thanks for the great work you and your team put together.

I’m a 24 year old lady from Pretoria who holds a linguistics degree I’m looking for work even though it’s not within that field. I’ve been applying for jobs and internships with no luck. I really am not choosy even an admin job will do just so I can get experience. Not that I’m impatient or anything but also sitting at home doing nothing is frustrating I’ve been there before. What hurts more is the fact that no one in my family is working and it gets to me that I should be the one helping.

Please readers can you help if anyone knows something about
any language practice job related let me know or any other job.

Mike has my email Thank you


28 thoughts on “Y.E.S 15

  1. No Mike, even men have onesies :-p (jumpsuit, rompers like for new born babies!! the most comfortable piece of clothing!!)

  2. Thanks Mike….

    Why don’t you offer language tutoring either on your own or register with a company that can use language tutors??…hope get helped,good luck…

  3. I like sfiso’s sense of humour can’t wait to see how the ove story ends. Thnx mike for the amazing daily dose

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, brilliant post, super entertained 🙂 This book is going to be mega, in fact it already is.

    Good luck Ree, hope you get something soon hey.


  5. I’m totally in love with Sfiso, my inner goddess is still smiling from his sense of humor. Madam Ree, look at the needs related to your expertise around your area and create an opportunity for yourself by closing the gap.

  6. Ha ha ha ha ha wow… This was hilarious.. Sfiso sounds like my kinda guy, a man whom is able to make me laugh without trying too hard is very attractive but no yellow bones for me thanks I love my man dark, Limpopian man are GORGEOUS:), great quote too.. Thank you… Mara Mike ere ke complainenyana I dont like it when you mock us women whom are forever in doeks, it depends how you wear it, nna yaka yangtshwanela and I can give most women whom are in weaves a run for their money ende I am not exaggerating ke nnete!

  7. Thank you Mike…I just love this book. Heeee this Sifiso guy kodwa, mmhhh let me not comment.

    Eish Ree…I hope you find something my angel…with unemployment on the rise I get scared each day for people who are hustling for jobs yazi,….ku bird out there hey….but keep digging my angel. Something will come up.

    Hahahahaha wena Lekgarebe Le Lebotse La Mopedi uthi you are that girl that has brough back the funk in the doeks, lol. This would be interpreted ina different way in the Xhosa culture but anyway, asikho lapho…

    Keep rocking them doeks…I wish you could give me 101 lessons on how to. Because for the life of me I cant wear a Doek..its a mission for me :'(


  8. Hi Mike
    May I offer a criticism I cant ignore much further, the lady’s mom came to her on the wedding claiming to be having cancer.

    It is really unlike most ladies I know especially Y.E.S. type to ignore their mothers in such situation because of a fight for marriage or kids. I hope you have something in store for this.

    Just my 2cents.

  9. Eish Ree its a jundgle out here everyone is job hunting but i pray that you get something soon. I am also in the same field as you, am a Language Practitioner Intern so
    if i here something i”ll let you know hey. keep pushing no matter what.

  10. Thank you Mike
    For Sfiso I will push the damn car.
    Lekgarebe le le botse, I’m with you on this one I wear doek and skirt everyday of my life, together with nice heels and proper make up, I turn heads.Ge ke tsena gwa kwagala. People just see the need to respect you.

  11. .Thank you Mike for the daily dose. Well, I’ve been avoiding to say this for a long time but now I can’t take it, this book is not as nice as it is supposed to be. The waiting makes it worse. I can see that it is supposed to be nice but ay man there is something missing and it has no direction at all, I’m sorry to say but Mike you have written very nice books so with this one…ay. The tittle sounds interesting but yona ay ngeke.

    Regarding Realities, I am so heart broken njengoba sizophela nje. Please may you give us all the final chapters at once instead of this waiting. This is just a request.

    1. Thank you for the feedback. I thought I was doing well by adding humour to it. It has to be a South African story meaning I have to pace it accordingly. She has to meet different guys and see how things work out. There is so much that is still to happen with her but can’t just drop everything at once

  12. Thanks Mike

    Ree for now u can volunteer ,it’s rough in this streets.Also check your CV n cover letter is on point when applying cause they say a lot dear about u.

    Guys chill please Y.E.S is entertaining we something that light now,cancer is depressing yhoo .Amen

  13. Hhai Mike these inserts are way short you post too much of your perception of what’s happening in SA than the story. You did with Realities too but it worse here

    1. At the beginning of every story I have to be as descriptive as possible to build texture and background. I try build a world you can see touch and taste. I will move the story on a bit faster but it will take a lot out of it. Even when you go to watch action movies they try very hard to give as much background as possible. The most successful books are Harry Potter and the whole book it’s just description and only twenty pages of action.

  14. BraMike, do yo buildup, its yo story & U need to tell it yo way. Don’t pay much attention to negative comments.
    In a soccer game & there’s 30min pre-match comentry followed by 45mins action with commentary along the match, then 15min commercial & commentary break. Another 45mins of action with commentary & maybe another 1hr commentary after the match. We still watch the match bcz we want to learn something new.
    UR trying to put yo personal points across & telling a story with the aim of educating the readers. If it doesn’t do for some, tough. They will drink stoney & be strong! Most of us will read knowing we will learn something everyday. Thnx for that abuti.

  15. thanks Mike for this. This book is really good. I just love it…

    Ree, you can contact OVC Agency (011 880 0012). they have different programs internationally
    you can speak to Kerry Popp, a very nice lady:) she will help you.

    good luck!

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