Growing Up – Chapter 63

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The cruellest thing that could happen to me right now is for me to lose my beauty, I was about to get married for god sake. Being beautiful on your wedding day is extremely important, it will probably be the only time you will get married so you need to look your best. Another thing is, I was getting married to a very handsomely yummy man and he was going to be looking good on our wedding day. Also, getting married to this man means I was going to spend a lot of time with him and going to places with him and in order to look like a suitable partner for him, I needed my beauty. I have looked after my beauty so well, and the last thing I needed was to lose it. I understood why Philani’s sisters wanted to pour me with boiling water, it was going to mess up my beauty, and therefore messing up my life. I was not going to sit and watch them mess up my life, I was going to fight them until the end. The fact that Philani didn’t even try to protect me, showed how much he hated me and didn’t care what happened to me.

“Sis Thabile and sis Bongile please don’t harm me. I can explain, I didn’t mean to hurt Philani. Honestly I had been planning a future with him but Philani was the reason I dated the Apostle.”

Sis Thabile said “Don’t blame Philani, you think you are better than Philani because you are beautiful. Well sisi in case you are too blind to see, Philani is very handsome.”

Hahaahaha she didn’t have to tell me the obvious. I didn’t stay with Philani so long only because he was rich, no, but also because he was handsome. However, he wasn’t as handsome as Apostle Bae. Apostle Bae was a 10, while Philani on the other hand was an 8 ½.

“Yes sis Thabile, I know that he is handsome. But please let me finish, and then tell me if you were going to stay with Philani if you were me. Philani cheated on me, not only with some floozy from his church, but he also cheated on me with a very close friend of mine. I made it known from the beginning that I wanted to get married, and he made it extremely clear to me that he would never consider getting married to me. You can even ask your mom, Philani once embarrassed me in front of her and the other family elders when he told me that he would never marry me.”

They looked at their mother, in a very soft voce she said

“This foolish brother of yours is the reason their relationship ended. He told me and your uncle’s that he doesn’t want to marry this girl. It broke my heart to see the way he treated her in front of us. Before I am Philani’s mother, I am a woman 1st, and I will not watch a man treat a woman the way he treated her. Your brother doesn’t want to grow up and we can’t blame Hlengiwe for moving on. I’m not supporting her quick decision to get married but I am glad that she broke up with Philani.”

I didn’t expect his mom to take my side, to say I was surprised would be an understatement. After their mom had spoken, they all gave Philani the evil eye.

His sister inlaw, Lungiswa, finally sopke “Philani mara, why are you so stupid? Where r you going to find a woman that will stand by you and support you the way Hlengiwe did?”

He said “Guys calm down please, Hlengiwe decided to move on with her life and I am also going to do the same. Anyway she is going to miss me because Apostle Thulani doesn’t love her the way I do. He is only using her for her beauty, he wants a little trophy wife and clearly you are the little trophy wife he needs. I loved you for real and as much as I made my own mistakes, I did everything in my power to make you happy and you know that. Anyway I wish you all the best and I hope you will have the wedding I failed to give you.”

Philani did make me happy, especially financially but Apostle Bae also made me happy, very happy…financially,emotionally, sexually and more. After Philani spoke, I decided it was time for me to leave. I stayed a few minutes longer because it was going to be rude if I left while they were talking about me and Philani. As soon as they were done, they asked me for wedding invitations and I promised to send them. It didn’t feel right but I was going to send them the invitations.

When I left Philani’s house, I decided to go to my sister’s grave. I don’t know why I did that but I felt like I needed to talk to someone, someone who wasn’t going to say anything, someone who was going to simply listen to me. When I got there, I couldn’t speak, I just cried. The fact that she was gone still felt unreal, at times I would expect to receive a text from her telling me to come over or send me a voice note informing me about something weird that took place during the day. The dreams I dreamt about her felt so real, waking up broke my heart because I had to face my reality, that I have no one…I was all alone in this world. My sister was literally the only person I had in my life, she was the only person who supported me, my dreams and never made me feel stupid. She was a mother to me, a better mother than my mother. Although I felt like a burden to her, she always assured me that she needed me as much as I needed her. She was simply the best thing that I could have ever asked for in my life and I was beyond grateful that she was a part of my life.

I stayed at her gravesight for about 2 hours, I only left because it started to rain. I went to the mall and bought a pizza for supper, because it was getting a bit late. I then went home and when I got there, I found Apostle Bae’s car outside. When I went in, I found him sitting in the lounge alone!!

“Hey baby, how did you get in?” I asked as soon as I went in the house.

“Your friend opened for me, she then left with her boyfriend. I have been waiting for you for hours now, where were you?” he asked.

I wanted to lie to him and say I was at my aunt’s place but I decided against it. We were about to embark on a new journey together, and I see how many married couple’s on social media emphasise on the importance of honesty so I was going to be honest with him because I had nothing to hide. So I said

“Philani’s mother asked me to come and see her, so I was there and……”

“Wait!” he interrupted me, “You went to see Philani’s mother?”

I nodded, he then continued “Was he there?”

“Yes baby he was there, but he arrived a while after me. I had no idea that he would be there.”

“Okay, so what were you doing there? Why did his mom call you?”

“I don’t really know why they called me, because when I arrived they told me about their problems. But when Philani arrived, everything changed and they nearly burnt my face with boiling water.”

“What?” he asked, I then told him the whole story. As I told him the story, he became very angry and I was happy to see that he didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. I thought that his reaction was proof that he loves me dearly and he would do anything to protect me, so you can imagine my shock when he said

“You are such a b*tch Hlengiwe. You think I am going to believe this story? Why would your ex’s mother call you to visit her? I am not a fool and I have been in this dating game way longer than you, I know that you are still seeing Philani on the side and that is why you don’t want him to be my best-man. What kind of a woman are you Hlengiwe, lying to your man. If you tell me the truth, I will let this go.”

As I was trying to defend myself, he grabbed my hand and violently squeezed my hand, the way he squeezed my hand caused me a lot of pain.

“Baby you are hurting me, please let me go.” I said and he responded

“Hlengiwe you are also hurting by cheating on me with your ex, the pain you feel is nothing compared to the pain I have in my heart because of your behaviour. Hlengiwe do you know how much I love you? Hai maan baby please stop doing this to us, I can even smell his cologne on you and you are telling me that you went to see his mother? I wasn’t born yesterday.”

I didn’t know what I did to make him believe that I was cheating because I wasn’t. You guys are my witnesses, I have been nothing but faithful to him and I was extremely committed to him and our relationship. Maybe he doubted my loyalty to him because of the way our relationship started, our relationship began because I was unfaithful to Philani. So, I understand why Apostle Bae doubted my faithfulness, it was my duty to prove how much I love him.

“Baby I’m not cheating, I promise you. I am beyond committed to you and I would never do anything to destroy what we have, now please let go of my hand. I’m sorry that I made you doubt me but you are hurting me.” By this time I was crying because my arm was in pain, very intense pain.

He looked at me, let go of my hand then he walked out of the house to his car. I ran after him and when I tried to stop him, he simply pushed me away which caused me to hit the wall. I didn’t have time to nurse my pain because I had to make this man see reason.

Before he could drive away, I opened his door and begged him to not go. I apologised for making him believe that I was cheating on him and assured him that I was committed to him.

“Okay I forgive you Hlengiwe, but to show that you are really sorry you must go and cook me a great meal, but before that you must give me head, right here right now!” he said.

“Baby I bought pizza, so we can eat that and if you want me to give you head, let’s go inside the house.”

“You see your problem Hlengiwe?” he said, “I am telling you to cook for me, you are telling me that you came back with pizza. How will you prove that you are sorry if you don’t want to work for it? I also said you must give me head right here, but instead of doing as I say you tell me that we must go inside the house. I might as well leave if you won’t do as I, your man, say.”

I didn’t want him to leave, so I quickly apologised and went on my knees. I unzipped his pants and started to do as I was told. While I was busy doing my thing, a weird voice startled me by saying

“Huuuuu girl, your fiancé told me that you are a bit of a slut and now I see it for myself”

As I was about to turn and see who was talking, Apostle Bae ejaculated!!! His sperms were spread on one side of my side.

To say I was embarrassed is an understatement!

49 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 63

  1. Hai this is just abuse at its best…such humiliation from someone who claims to love you. Hlengy will reap what she is sowing.

  2. Mmmmxxxxx Hlengiwe my child run for ur life this is not it. Use ur hands if u have too this man doesn’t love you.

  3. To think there’s someone going through this now is sad!! Wish BoHlengy out there can wake up and smell the coffee!! Eish….life mara

  4. This is sad… Wish hlengy could just open her eyes and see what’s coming her way before she marries this monster

  5. Lol! I think I need to stop reading this story. It’s just too embarrassing and Hlengy is so stupid and naive. If people like this really do exist then eish, I don’t know, I give up.

  6. Reading this story just reminds me of how much I suffered, sacrificed and put up with in the name of love. Finally the relationship ended, to say I don’t miss him would be a lie – hell I still love him. But I just realised that he was never going to change, I’ll always be suspected of doing something, yet he was doing his business on the side. Hlengy gal, at times you need to love yourself enough to walk away and just stand on your own two feet. Yes it is difficult, but do’able.

  7. So many woman go through such abuse. The emotional black mail & he wants you to beg him after all the insults… Hlengy if you marry this man, he will kill you…Philani might not abuse you but he doesnt respect you either. You are better off without them both.

  8. I would run fast and never look back.Hlengiwe needs time alone before she loses all identity of self because of this psychopath….Apostle even tells people she is a slut….I wouldn’t marry that idiot….Hlengiwe please save yourself fast.

    1. Same here. This story was just too silly. I think I’m done with this one now. It just keeps getting worse *yawn*

  9. Love is blind..why Hlengy can’t see Apostle bae is no man of God but devil’s…She must call things off otherwise she will be signing her death warrant stru…A man who abuse woman in the name of God so disgusting nxah.

  10. Shem this book is so unreal who would stay for such abuse in their right mind? I wonder why I even bother reading this

    1. Gals just bcz u never saw such doesn’t make it unreal. I know abuse, now that m out of that relationship yes it sounds foolish n unreal but trust me. Gals can be naive in the name of love.

  11. Hlengi is too desperate. All her beauty will fade after apostle bae is done with her.
    I hope she cancels the wedding before things get bad

  12. Waiting for Sunday is pure torture!!!
    Akumuncu Hlengiwe yini Bawo wam 🙁 .. are there people in real life who are in such situations..

  13. Hlehle o a disappointa, she is so shallow and conceited ka her Beauty. mxim. we need to see a pic of this thirsty girl…. maybe the sperm on her face will chill her out!!!

  14. Iyoooo as I hear lot of girls here saying Hlengiwe stupid,Hlengiwe can’t see,not all the girls but some lot of girls have done this mistake iyooo,left a man who loves you for a guy who doesn’t love you but promised heaven,and the heaven became hell once it was final with your ex,iyooo we tried to make it work least we didn’t know that it was never going to work…have learned this lesson a hard way…I don’t blame this Hlengiwe it happens,it’s a once in a lifetime mistake…that makes a girl a all of you here does it mean y’all forgot or it simply means you ain’t the subject today? Iyooo basadi hawu

  15. It is not abt beauty,it is not abt the fact that you are clever,or you have experience,once this kind of apostle guy is done with you,you will be like Hlengiwe,yes maybe sometimes you will remember yourself but mostly 80% you loose yourself,when he is done with you,you will need psychologist,friends,you will need a lot to rebuild yourself,this kind of guys are cruel,they don’t care abt your soul,they actually want the soul,I don’t why,they have been hurt before,I just don’t get but they are cruel,just for their fun,you will be left questioning your beauty,your intelligence,your self worth…this things happens sympathies with women who go through this ,it doesn’t mean they are weak or foolish,every woman can be played by any kind of a guy…no exceptions

    1. I totally agree with you Tebogo Thelma….it is very true….women tend to forget that most ladies have had hard lessons learnt with men….it doesn’t mean you are dumb or cannot see….we need to be more sympathetic a d understanding of why such situations take place rather than quickly call a lady dumb for being abused

  16. I also can’t continue reading this story after these inserts!
    Great work guys but it has now seriously gotten out of hand and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, the worst part is this happens in real life and people completely lose themselves.

    Can we please get some light at the end of the tunnel before this becomes too depressing to read.
    All love.

  17. This diary is getting STUPID man, this is not really reasonable. Considering how Hlengiwe was previously described as someone strong who can stand up for herself no matter the situation. I know some girls get desperate for marriage but this is very stupid and so predictable.

    I am done reading this diary shaaaaame.

    1. A very smooth good looking strong man cab break even the toughest woman Tee yes it might sound naive but if u haven’t been there u will never fit that shoe i thought I was strong till I lost someone close to my heart blv me strong flew out the window i was weak for days remember even the strong fall in Hlengi’ s case she is misled by her want for marriage its blinding her to see reality

  18. These things happen hey!! But we need to see more from this character than just a naive and submissive girl being played by an obvious player pastor. It was understandable when Philani cheated with Lerato, but the signs are so clear with apostle that it irritates me to know what should happen and what does…. Its silly really.

    Lets hope next week is better> 🙂

  19. it’s funny how people are quick to say that this diary is unrealistic, when in actually fact there are people who go through what Hlengiwe is writing about. being a christian myself, i know for a fact that a lot of christian women put up with such nonsense all in the name of love. consider yourself lucky if you have not been in a position where you have to apologies to a man for his wrong doings.

    1. I totally agree with you Luazi….these things do happen and no one wants to talk about them.Khanyi glad yoy are bringing them to light although I am really hoping Hlengiwe gets herself out of this mess soon

  20. It is so easy for people to dismiss this as unrealistic and see Hlengy as stupid but if the truth be told we all know this is real and it happens. When you are in the situation everyone else see the sign except for you. Please guys lets not influence Khanyis thought process, lets let the story unfold. I’d really like to see where it goes.

    As for Hlengy she was first portrayed as a strong willed and outspoken youmg woman but there are toxic relationships that makes you lose who you are. She’s longing to belong now since the death of her sister and Philani has blatantly said he would not commit. She is grieving still and looking for safety and comfort in the context shes always longed for. So it does happen the story isn’t far fetched at all. Good work Khanyi

  21. Ay this diary is boring now. Hlengiwe was potrayed as a strong woman but all of a sudden she is so dumb she cant even think for herself. Of all the stories here this one is just going downhill.

  22. Am happy with Khanyis’ writing – until you’ve lived this life, been inlove with such a jerkass, you have no right to call Hlengiwe stupid. This ish happens out there, and many women hide it, and pretend that all is well in their relationships. There’s nothing worse than apologies when you have been wronged – just to keep the peace and give the r/ship another go!

  23. A hyena in a ship skin often hides with religion, culture
    or a position of authority to fulfill his illl conceived wishes ideas
    to control unsuspecting victims, @ KateS, your analysis is
    spot on. There is a twist now to the tale. When Hlengy was
    introduced, she was tough and all. Thru the development of
    the story she has met a lot of disappointments, losses, heartbreaks
    that has clouded her judgement. She is now seeking solace
    in marrying this hyena, which is a mirage. She wants a place
    to belong, a family to call her own at the wrong place.

    Please people, this is Khanyi’s way of portraying the reality on
    what is happening outside. If you have not experienced such
    do not blame the writer, blame your naivety. People are cruel
    outside. Once they realised your vulnerability and weak point.
    They will use it as leverage to further despise you so you lose
    your self-image and esteem so they can gain total control over

    Please Khanyi, keep on educating the masses. You are doing a
    brilliant job.

  24. @King Ozy and @KateS I like the way you guys view this story. I appreciate people who see this story for what it is and not what they want it to be. Mike and Khanyi thanx for bringing such reality to the open, such things truly do happen out there.

  25. Hlengi is looking for love the thing is she’s looking for it in the wrong places Philani loved her yes but that misconception by society drove her to want marriage bfor 25 which is still killing her cos here she is stuck with an abusive fiancé. She is a strong woman yes but that was before she lost her sister I think it broke her the only person she looked up to for love ( real love with no conditions) died now she wants to fit in nd be relevant her she lost herself when her sister died that strong character died which is sad she’s looking foe love in the wrong places Philani was good for her but he was stringing her along cis she wasn’t one to do the bending porn moves in bed hence he felt he cant marry her that’s when she shoulve tried nd find Hlengy instead of jumping on apostle bae hope she will wake up from this nightmare soon cos this is not her

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