Birds – Chapter 7

Posted on Posted in ZuluGirlGoes2Jhb

Monday- 09:11 a.m.


“Barbie, Barbie. Wake up.”

“Mmm…” I yawned,

“Get up love.”

It was Senhle. I looked around. There was colourful spew of vomit everywhere. I was lying on the bathroom floor. I could feel my head not wanting to be on top of me anymore.

I looked up at her and said -“I slept here?”

“Yep.” She responded. She was ‘dressed’ in her usual black thong and bra she paraded around the house in.

“Damn.” I said

“Yep…you should get up. People want to use the bathroom.”

“Uhm…What time is it?”

“It’s around nine. Here is your phone babe. Khakha said I should give it to you.” she said giving me a ‘you are naughty’ look. Oh God

 “And Mr B.E.E has been calling you all morning.” She said. She then added-

“Really Barbie? You saved Dingaan’s contacts as ‘Mr B.E.E’?” She cracked up. I was still not on planet Earth. I yawned again. “And….”

“What now.” I said sluggishly standing up

“MK is here.”


“No, no relax. He’s not here for you. He’s here with Kamohelo. They are like buddies now.”

I suddenly heard people talking in the living room. “You mean he’s in the living room with the rest? Oh my God; look at me Senhle.”

I looked into the mirror. As i expected; I was a mess.

“You are in the bathroom. Just use the utilities…I’ll be in the living room. We are playing cards.” She said cutting her tail.

I quickly splashed water on my face. I then used a towel to dry my face. I applied an eyeliner and lipstick – which belonged to whom-ever. I gave my afro a few combs.

I damped whoever’s silly and unsanitary enough to leave her face cloth in The Circle house’s bathroom; Probably Portia, conjectured. I dried my armpits with the face cloth, and then dried them off.

I was still in Omowumi’s shorts and the gala dinner stilettos. I applied some body spray I found in the bathroom too. I looked pleasant again.

I never cerebrated what I would do if I was to see MK again. The last time I saw him was when I dumped him.

 He hates me. He has really moved on that he is ready to face me after what I did to him? I took few deep breaths and opened the bathroom door.

My eyes met with MK’s immediately when I stepped in. He looked good.

“Your boy toy is here Miss.” said Portia typing something on her laptop. Charmaine giggled.

If there was anyone; I mean anyone I did not get along with in the whole house, – it was Portia. The midget, fat, oogly, bitch. How she walks around with a smug on her bleached face astonishes me. When I met her she had a coffee complexion. Now she looks like a white and fat woman.

Her presence made me nauseated. Her short stature and big head. Her hideous dressing, her calling me Ethiopia all the time, and spitting saliva on your face when she talks; okay i despised Portia.

The house was clean. I reckoned Senhle and her sister Kamohelo did.

A few people were still outside as most mornings after we had a “party”.

MK looked at me as I slowly and awkwardly walked past them. I couldn’t read his face. He then faced down at his cards and continued playing with Kamohelo, Khakha, and Portia’s friends “The twins”-Shirley and Charmaine.

Khakha looked up at me suppressing his smile, -“Rough night huh?” he said

“Yeah, rough night.” I replied awkwardly.

I was now in the kitchen to make breakfast. I quickly had some water and Dispirin for the head.

There was no bread. Couldn’t have anyone in the entire house thought of buying a loaf of bread?

I walked to Omowumi’s bedroom to get the doggy bag I left there the night before. I found her slumbering. As expected; someone took the food. I went back to the kitchen and made some cereal instead.

I then looked at MK from the kitchen. I couldn’t bring myself to face him; but I went and sat in the living room with them. I quickly went through my cell phone.

Dingaan did call me- four times, oh well.

I checked my twitter page and there….Pontso’s famous nudes.

Meet Portia (23). A socialite, a third year student at WITS,-Oh a “law student”- she makes sure everyone around her know that fact! She has two kids. Two girls who live back home with her Parents. She walks around wearing a smug on her face insinuating that she is smarter and better than all of us in “The Circle”. Because Portia ipso facto passed her Matric at sixteen with 6 distinctions while pregnant with her first child; sighs. She insinuates that she is the smartest and boldest. Well, she is the thick one, the shortest and least appealing.

Meet Shirley and Charmaine, twins (24).Capetonian Socialites. Dancers, and music video vixens who appeared in tons of videos of musicians all over Africa. People say they used to be strippers; but they both deny it. They are good looking and tall like the rest… excluding Portia.

Meet Kamohelo (22). The cute and sweet Kamohelo. A beauty Queen, a socialite, a fashionista and an aspiring TV presenter. She is a former Miss Teen South Africa, and is a student at Tshwane University of Technology studying Media. She dated almost the entire PSL. They say she only dates soccer players.

Meet Omowumi (25).Nigerian, the loudest, an actress, a fashion designer who works under a well-known fashion designer on a reality TV show called “Lerato Reloaded”. She had mini roles in few South African films and a main role in a Nigerian Drama Series called ‘Sugar’. Omowumi moved to South Africa to study fashion design.

And finally, meet Senhle (26).Opinionated, a Socialite, a former beauty pageant Queen (Former Sowetan Babe, A former runner up for Miss Soweto) and The Queen of the house-Senhle. She is a mother of one and a struggling actress who sleeps with men for money. She only goes for Foreigners. Mostly the Nigerians and Ghanaians that float around at KONG, Taboo and Cocoon club. She uses the line “Nigerian men are generous”. They must be. Because Senhle out of the seven of us; she is the most moneyed.

“Audrey did you see your friend’s nudes?” asked Kamohelo sitting on a blanket laid in the middle of living room floor with the twins and Senhle.

Portia at her usual single couch. Khakha and MK on a long sofa.

I was sitting on another single couch across Portia.

“Oh yeah.” I responded. I was still reading people’s rude remarks towards Pontso on twitter whist eating. “And? What did she say because she hasn’t said anything on Twitter or Facebook?”

MK intervened- “I heard about the pictures. I haven’t seen them yet; but she doesn’t have to say anything to anyone.”

“Yeah she doesn’t.” I concurred and continued eating.

“The whole thing is hilarious and scandalous. People are there on twitter waiting for her response.” said Kamohelo laughing.

Shirley said- “But did you see the pictures? She must be ashamed. I know I would be.”

Charmaine added- “And other celebs like that talkative lady who was on Big Brother Africa says she looks great and yada yada…but if it was me!, Charmaine! , posing like that with my punani out; no one would defend me.”

Kamohelo defended Pontso-“Mara it’s not like she looks like a porn star. She was modelling. She was not smiling or making any funny faces. The posing is on point. It was a photo shoot one could say….She looks great guys…. It’s those pictures you would find in Italian Vogue and Pase magazine. Am I lying Audrey?” I just shook my head.

Portia added- “Exactly, I’m with you chomma…and with those pictures she is going to reach super stardom I’m telling you! Look at Kim Kardashian, and these other controversial celebs. They are big now because of nudity. Sex sells!”

Shirley shook her head saying-“That’s America. This is South Africa, and this is Africa! We don’t find such things tasty and appealing. It’s just crazy and stupid!”

“And yet we are discussing about her. Who is crazy now?” said Portia vehemently.

Kamohelo clapped her hands excitedly-“Thank you Portia! And if you look at Pontso; she is not the type you will find sleeping around. A “hoe” should be the last thing people even try portraying her as. The way they are insulting her; I really feel for her.” she said

Senhle then shouted- “And how do you know she is not sleeping around Kamo?!”

They were now making it a debate as in most occasions. Just then; Omowumi came into the room wearing a shower cap and towel; like she was about to go shower. She was intrigued in the debate. Typical Wumi.

All I gathered thus far was that Senhle, Shirley and Charmaine were anti-Pontso. While Portia and Kamohelo were Pro-Pontso.

Kamohelo adamantly answered Senhle- “She is dating Dj Brant for crying out loud! They have fans and stuff as a celebrity couple. She wouldn’t, and she doesn’t.”

Charmaine then said carelessly- “You don’t know that. They could be cheating on one another putting a fake face in public. Just look at MK and Audrey.”

I couldn’t believe she just blurted it out like that. Right in front of us. I swiftly looked at MK. I found him staring at me. I then quickly located my eyes on Senhle’s big bum in our faces as the safest place to look at. She was standing up. Here we go. She said staring down at Kamohelo- “Yes! And I asked how do you know she is not a whore Kamo? I see that girl every weekend at KONG, Hush, and parties everywhere acting like she is not like the rest of us party animals. She sleeps around that girl. And with those pictures little sister…I mean?”

Kamohelo not willing to back down said- “Okay Audrey is here. Audrey; does Pontso sleep around?”

Charmaine quickly mumbled- “Well, you know what they say; Birds of a feather flock together.”

I frowned and said to Charmaine- “Excuse me? What is wrong with you?”

“Charmaine…” her twin Shirley hissed; as if reprimanding her. Charmaine gave her a hand uttering -“whatever.”

“Anyway nonetheless! They are innocent pictures Pontso took with her man! Just that someone who obviously wants to break her, leaked them!” shouted Portia

Senhle quickly asked- “And how do you know she did not leak them herself Portia? You can’t-”

Omowumi interjected- “Oshey! How do you know Miss ‘I know it all’?”

“I have had nudes before. But I got rid of them after my cousin’s nudes spread all over campus. These girls are victims of jealousy and bullies who would stop at nothing to see them crack!” she said now standing up to make her point.

“Portia is right. Pontso is a hot celebrity and dating even a bigger celebrity. She also has her own business…obviously someone is trying to ruin her.” said Kamohelo.

I then said laughing- “Wait, wait. Is everyone going to run pass the part were Portia said she had nudes?” Omowumi laughed louder.

Seeming offended, Portia said- “Is it funny? And I’m sure I’m not the only one who has done it before. Two or three of you in this room probably have nudes too; even sex tapes! And you are here saying rubbish. The hypocrisy!”

“You mean YOU have a sex tape, abi?” interjected Omowumi still laughing at her

Portia then said seeming angry- “Did this Nigerian Strumpet hear me say I have a sex tape?” here we go

Haibo, Portia!” exclaimed Senhle

Wahala! Nigerian what! Wetin dey say? Heh ashawo I go land you slap! I go help you grow taller!” exclaimed Omowumi standing up.

“Okay guys that’s enough.” said Senhle trying to stop the altercation. But Omowumi wasn’t about to let it go,-“No, I am sick of hearing this little girl talk down to me Senhle! Always calling me names, and making sure she reminds me that I am not South African! Let me tell you something you ignorant s**t!”

She strode towards Portia. MK and Khakha stood up for what might transpire.

She stated now standing inches from Portia’s face- “I am here to stay you hear? Because I see you are jealous and are threatened of me.”

The rest of us just looked up at them. This was not the first fight in the house, and definitely not the last.

The alteration continued. “Jealous of you?” Portia exclaimed laughing,

“Yes! And copy this. I will make twice the money you are studying at your WITS to make. And I will go to your place while you still carrying Khakha’s babies and donate you some money- so you can buy more fashionable clothes.”

I was chuckling. Portia wasn’t about to let Omowumi insult her-“So you say. And when is that going to happen naija girl? When you get a recurring role?” she clapped her hands laughing and continued, – “No one needs your silly accent here. Go act in Nollyhood bitch! And maybe get a role playing a witch because you do that very well.” and with that- Omowumi punched her on the nose hard that she fell on the edge of the couch.

When Portia tried to fight back; Khakha held her back, dragging her to her bedroom.

“No, no! Let me go! Let me Khakha! I want to show this juju girl, lekwerekwere! Go home strumpet!” exclaimed Portia. She was now kicking her legs whilst Khakha continued dragging her.

When they disappeared from the living room; Senhle broke the silence in the house and said- “We are all African here. We are all home. Can we get along?”

Omowumi immediately stormed off to her bedroom. Shirley then followed Portia and Khakha to Portia’s bedroom.

“Okay what just happened?” said Kamohelo in her squeaky voice. I shook my head and said- “It was bound to happen. Portia is xenophobic. It annoys me too! She has made me uncomfortable ever since I moved in here. Do I have to be constantly reminded that I’m a foreigner? Can’t I just be Audrey?” I frowned- “Wumi has always warned her to watch the way she speaks to us. But it seems like that just added pepper to her blabber mouth.”

Charmaine then mumbled- “Well, you couldn’t say all that to Portia’s face could you?”

Typical. She has always been Portia’s Karate kid. Always there to fight for her honour. Knowing how she is not lazy for a fight; I just rolled my eyes and ambled to Omowumi’s room to see how she was doing after being called “lekwerekwere” and a “Nigerian strumpet”!

MK followed me.

When I was about to go in Wumi’s bedroom; I overheard Charmaine say to Senhle and Kamohelo: “This one is such a snake. And a flipping whore.”


8 thoughts on “Birds – Chapter 7

  1. Yah neh it reminds me back then when I was in an only girls boarding school drama was our daily bread. don’t like Portia already she is just evil for my liking. Great job team very interesting indeed just can’t wait to see how it unfolds

  2. I honestly don’t think words such as lekwerekwere should be that offensive. My best friend is white and we throw words like that around whenever we are angry (I.e kafir and boertjie) but we understand coz that’s what anger does to a person . And it’s better having someone say that to ur face rather than behind ur back. What difference does t make that Portia called Wumi lekwerekwere when Wumi called a bitch(as hawk)?People should learn to be open to discussing topics such as xenophobia and racism. It’s the only way forward

  3. @Ona

    I am a black South African woman and I find it very offensive when someone of colour refers to another black person as a kafir. Those terms are offensive because the white man did not give us such titles out of love and respect for us as black people. Such terms are demeaning, degrading and highly offensive to black people because the word kafir is the signature and constant reminder of the abuse and hatred black people suffered at the hands of white people under the apartheid regime. I for one would never find it okay for anyone to refer to me as a kafir be it to my face or behind my back.

    Discussing issues of racism and xenophobia is a different issue to allowing people to be xenophobic and racist to you by saying that being called by derogatory names should not offend you. Being called a lekwerekwere is xenophobia and being called a kafir is racism and that should offend everyone.

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