Rumblings – Chapter 153

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

Social media has become the levelling factor in so many issues today. Its very destructive and can ruin a persons life in moments. Its reckless and truth be told, I don’t condone people that use it to harm others whether this for the sake of revenge or justice. Useless baby daddys however need a registry where they are exposed to warn other women to be aware of them. Mudenda for me was one of those men who deserved to be on that list. You know how in America they have a list for paedophiles so that people in the area can be warned when one moves into their area, I feel the same towards baby daddies like him. We should name and shame them. We keep on saying as women we are oppressed but are we doing about it. We think our independence lies in us being perfect single mothers but this is only AFTER our hearts have been broken over and over again. Do you not get tired of this vicious cycle? Its time I did what I want and show this man what being vulnerable is all about. Try being a single mom with no options and no job to see why I am so bitter.

“You know we haven’t even gone to court yet for maintenance!”

I found myself telling one of the girls in the office. That’s what frustration was doing to me.

“Why not?”

She asked me. I started telling her how long the process and it hit me that no one actually cared for me or my child. Why was I still suffering after so long? Its so hard to believe though and sitting here I realized it was Amo and myself against the world. Now they were trying to take Amo away from me and that hurt. I wanted my son and I would destroy anyone in front of me preventing that. I could point so many fingers at Mudenda but eventually everything lay on me.

Aurelia must have been missing me a lot because she called me again.

“Dude I can’t believe you are you crazy?”

She said and laughed at the same time. I played the innocent role.

“What do you mean?”

” Don’t play coy with I saw what you did, you are crazy you know that right?”

She said to me and we both laughed. She told me all the implications tthat could come with that posts as now even the link was on Twitter and some industrious person hhad seen it fit to debut it on instagram. I had forgotten to put his Twitter handle and hers too so I went and updated the post to include that.

“I am just frustrated Aurelia and I need him to feel what I am going through. He is sitting there with Meladi having a good time but what about me? I have to worry about our child and make sure that he is fed and clothes, safe and at home but he does not care. Its not easy!”

I think the joke was over because she could hear how serious I was about this.

“I am sorry that you going through this buddy! I really am, is there anything I can do to help?”

She asked me without hesitation. You see that’s why I love Aurelia, we might have a different view point on the world but she was the one person who had my back. She was my best friend without a doubt.

“No there is nothing you can do. Its my problem and when I get stuck I will call you and we can do damage together!”

I said managing I think to crack a joke under the circumstances.

“Now see what you have done, I was calling to congratulate you on being evil but now am just as sad as you. How do you manage to do that?”

She asked me.

“Are you crying dude?”

I asked her. She said she was not but I could hear she was. Welcome to the world of pregnancy I suppose. Being emotional for nothing.

“I have to go. Its still going to be a long day for me unfortunately!”

I told her. She told me she had to go to Gateway to fetch some things from someone otherwise she would be home the whole day.

When she hung up my boss came to my desk and called me to his office. He could have called me and I would have come.

“How are you holding up?”

He asked me in a friendly way.

“I am ok sir and you!”

“I am fine. I meant how are things with your baby!”

He asked me. I had missed that part totally.

“Things are so and so. He is coming home for the weekend for the first time tomorrow so for me that’s a much awaited bonus!”

I told him. I think he could see by the emotion on my face that I was excited but too cautious to show it.

“Do you want to go home early so you can prepare for him? There is not a lot of work here and the others will leave early too because they have to leave for Limpopo early in the morning.”

I told him I was fine as I had not finished yesterdays targets but once I was done it was a yes I would want to leave. He did not dispute me with that and I left his office. As luck would have it, the work I had not completed took the better part of the day and by the time I finished it was almost four. My mother and sister were waiting for me outside at this point.

“For someone getting her baby back you don’t have that sense of urgency”
My mother said sounding annoyed but I could hear she was excited.

I had barely sat down when my phone rang. It was a private number. It was Mudenda calling me again.

“I am going to destroy you for what you did you know that right?”

He said calmly. I know he had a good reason to be making such a threat but I had learned from him first hand that only cowards make threats against women and Mudenda was a proper classic at it. He hung up as soon as he said that and I think so that he was not succeeding in making me angry.

My notifications were going crazy and when I got a call from the last person I expected I knew that poem had reached far. It was Zama Mpanza. She was part of the foursome at university.

“Are things that bad with Mudenda you would do that friend?”

She asked me. It had been so long since I last spoke to her. We ended up catching up on many other things before I could even answer that question. Eventually I answered her initial question,

“Its too late now. I can’t take it down because so many people have. Already shared it. Some girl even said that she relates with it word for word and tagged over twenty people!”

I told her. She laughed and said this is why she did not date younger men. They often came with too much drama and only had regrets about life when they messed up. Older men have to be cautious at every turn because its easier to get into meaningful trouble. That’s the reason why younger guys don’t care whom they hurt. There are no consequences as far as they are concerned and social media is it.

“Essien isn’t that much older than you!”

I reminded her of her Nigerian husband. My one friend who had got it all right was married to a Nigerian man yet us who were chasing these South African men were stuck and frustrated. It almost felt like kharma considerring how much we diss and disapprove of Nigerian men. They at least marry us whilst South African men find every excuse in the book before they can even consider us.

“You promised you would visit, what happened?”

She asked me. Eish I had been so caught up with the drama in my life for so long all that was long forgotten. With my mother in the car it was hard to fill her in on all the developments that had taken place in our lives but I promised I would make time. Hanging up sucked but I realized now that my mother would hear all our secrets so maybe it was wise to do so.

When we got there we were a bit late because of traffic.

“I thought you were no longer coming!”

The social worker said.

“Agnes left about an hour ago.”

She explained. I was not here to see neither her nor Agnes so that was irrelevent to me. Where was my baby?

“Come let’s go fetch your baby!”

She said casually. The excitement levels. Even my mother had a skip in her step. The distance felt like it was long but that’s to be expected under the circumstances.

He was lying on his tummy when I approached him. I was obviously in front because that’s the way it had to be but as soon as I got to the cot I turned around and said,

“This is not Amo! This is Rueben!”

She looked at me as though it was a matter of fact and said,

“Yes I know. I don’t understand your point!”

She said.

“I was told I was coming to pick up my son and I am here and this is not my son!”

I protested. My mother had her mouth on her hand and my sister was in tears.

“I think you misunderstood me, you are supposed to take your biological child with you home! We would like to monitor how they are coping in that environment. That’s the whole point!”

I looked at this woman for a moment like she was crazy.

“You mean I must take Rueben home and Amo goes with Agnes!”

I asked her. I had her in the first place but I really needed clarity on this ludicrous plan.

“Precisely. You are only delaying the process and we can’t keep the kids for too long without coming up with a plan!”

I was torn. I did not know what to do because taking Rueben would mean I would have accepted our fate.

“Are you taking him home or not?”

She asked me!

******The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thanks for reading my letter

I just turned 28 this year and in a happy relationship with a handsome and very loving 32 year old man. We met in 2013 on facebook and as much as we thought it will never work, we are still strong and even talking marriage now. Now my problem is we desperately want to get pregnant because we are financially and otherwise ready for that move. My problem is as much sex as we have and after trying all tricks in the book, i still cant get preg. i have consulted medical doctors and even went for operations to clean my womb but a year later i still cant get preg, last year my mom (who is a die hard born again pastor) took me to her prophet friend who is also a christian because i was complaning of irregular periods and because i couldnt really tell my mom i want a baby, as she will say its a sin and i cant have kids b4 marriage. The prophet told me i was given a glass of sprite and morogo so that i shouldnt have kids (basically i was bewitched not to conceive), the prophet prayed for me and told me i will be healed but i have to be serious with church and God for me to see my healing and now 6 months down the line im still not pregnant because i never repented and still having sex before marriage which is a sin. But now recently me and my boyfriend have been talking and he is suggesting that i should go see a traditional healer and as much as i dont believe in that im considering it since m desperate for a baby and mengwaga eya tsamaya. Note: I will have to do this without my mother’s knowledge because she will say i have demons for even thinking that. Should i do this and Does anyone know any real healer who can assist me without me selling my soul to the devil.


Desperate mommy

21 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter 153

  1. Thanks Mikey, nca chapter…Faith’s life is has no dull moment shame.

    Desperate mommy…. Have you been thoroughly examined by a gynae before getting ur womb scrubbed? I am no doctor but you might have endomentriosis (a condition resulting from the appearance of endometrial tissue outside the womb and causing pelvic pain, especially associated with menstruation.) this condition can make it difficult or impossible for you to to have a baby as it affects your fertility. I would strongly advise that you and your boyfriend visit a fertility clinic and get yourselves checked because you might be stressing thinking you have a problem kanti nix, your man is the one with a problem.

    Also consulting traditional healers in my view is no sin because “real” healers get their powers from the Almighty. Both prayer and them can be of help but only if you believe ungayi with a mentality yokuthi “ngifuna ukbona” . Another thing you should bare in mind is that not everyone will be blessed the same meaning God might have different plans for you that do not include you having a child of your own but down the line He might bless you with many children ongabazali.

    My husband and i tried for a baby from 2008 and i only conceived in 2011 and miscarried at 14 weeks. When i went for a thorough examination the doctors discovered that i have endomentriosis and my uterus lining was very thin and scared while my womb is slightly bent to a different direction (bathi i am part of 10% of women with such). They said the chances of me carrying a baby full term was close to impossible, the longest i can carry would be about 16-20 weeks.

    My husband and i go to a zion church so we consulted our mfunidisi and we prayed on this, we would fast and go pray ehlani and he would make isiwasho for me which was just plain water that he would pray for with nothing added.

    In 2013 i gave birth to a healthy baby girl who is turning 3 in May and i am currently 22 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. My first pregnancy had no complications what so ever and so far my current one is also not complicated but i still pray hard each day for God to be with us through out.

    Before taking any hasty decisions, thandaza cc and ask God to guide you and show you the light

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, Sad for Faith though.

    Desperate, You seem to be conflicted between two worlds which you don’t seem to particularly believe in. 1, you say your mother is a die-hard born again, you don’t mention how far your faith goes, and the prophet telling you about sprite and goetes, do you even have a recollection of that event? You need to believe in order for that to work, sex alone being a sin wouldn’t be reason enough for God not to hear your prayers. Then there is the sangoma issue, which you seem to think is like selling your soul to the devil, sisi not everything is as on Mfundi’s Generations.

    There are good nyangi’s out there that can assist, but they can throw bones all night if need be, that will still not make you conceive if you don’t believe in the very help you seek. We have established one thing, you want a baby, and you are willing to mix tradition and religion to get to that goal. Is your boo fertile though? Coz you got tested for all that, what about him?

    You need to decide which method of faith you will go on, and you need to really start believing in it. If the prophet is truthful about the sprite goete, you need to act swiftly and accordingly. I wish you strength in abundance.


  3. Thank you Mike… Faith it never rains but pours.

    Desperate mommy… I think I have a skewed view in this faith business, both traditional and Christian… For me traditional and Western medicine is the same, just that one goes through various channels before they become what you call a pill. and consulting a traditional healer and a prophet the same for they are both “mediums”. I have used both and found they equally work and it just depends on a nature of the problem I’m facing…

    There is nothing wrong consulting a traditional healer but just know some are bogus just like some medical doctors…All the best in whatever you decide.

  4. Mudenda must jst die he is such a cockroach, @desperate mommy I feel your pain cz I went thru it myself two years ago bt it was not bcz I was bewitched jst stress of trying to conceive for almost two yrs wit no luck until I used woman’s secret (imfihlo yabafazi) I conceived d first mnth I used it, its jst natiral herbs dat clean u and correct ur menstrual cycle. you can get at selected pharmacies or go online to see where u can find it in ur arrea. Try amd relax the more u stress the harder it becomes for u to conceive, God will give u a baby when the time is right with faith everything is possible.

  5. Desperate mommy leave ur details re kgone go go thusha. Go na le a gud gyno moo plk. I had the same prblm nw I hv 3 beautiful kids. B4 u sell ur soul are go gynecologist ya go tseba taba tsa yona

  6. Exactly cc, I couldn’t agree with you more. The more uzi fosta to get pregnant, trust me you wont. Go buy an ovulating test uzame when you are ovulating. Otherwise GOD has control over everything, when He is ready for you to have a kid you will have one. Stop forcing the issue.

  7. Thank you Mike for nice words about Nigerian men. I hope in time the stigma attached to them can be removed so that at least some of us dating them can walk around in S.A without people looking or judging us.
    And Jackzozo thank you for mentioning the most important part we black people never consider when trying to conceive which is checking if your man is also fertile just because he can shoot does not mean they can swim.Leave all this traditional things because clearly you dont believe in them just go to a fertility clinic and get help but go with your partner

  8. Mara these social workers ga ba nagane selo! How do they agree to take Amo to Agnes, a foreign environment, in the midst of a funeral? Tlhaloganyo e kae gona moo? Hai man!!!

    Desperate mommy, the mind is a powerful thing! Sometimes our beliefs stand in the our way of achieving something, and because now you believe you have been cursed that could also add to you not conceiving. I am not saying you are not bewitched neh, but I just find that rona as batho ba batsho when things don’t go as we desire then our first thought is always boloi and that is not always the case. Having said that, I hear gore you went through all the trouble with the doctors and cleaning your womb and all, but you don’t say what measures your bf has taken to make sure gore the problem is not on his side? Has he gone for checkups yena? Does he know if he’s not shooting blanks? It’s unfair for you to be going thru all the trouble if he has not done his part, coz you could find that the problem actually lies with him and not you

    When you went to the doc and explained your issue with the irregular periods, did they not put you on something to help regulate you? Because usually irregular periods are a sign of some sort of issue that will affect your fertility. I have PCOS & Endometriosis, 2 of the worst things you can have to affect your fertility. When I was diagnosed I was practically declared infertile, but I refused to accept that as my fate and started researching on natural ways to beat these conditions. Its been 3 years that I am now on a healthy living lifestyle and my gynae has since changed his tune about my infertility, although I don’t have kids yet, I can now ovulate on my own and my cysts just keep diminishing. So maybe you could also try ways on improving your lifestyle and see if that will not have any impact on your fertility.

    Or otherwise just decide on a route to follow, one that you will be able to handle. Sangomas are traditional healers and not devil worshippers bathong. If you get to one and you are not comfortable with what they require from you then you simply move on till you find someone who will be able to assist you in methods that you agree to.

    Good luck and baby dust to you lady

  9. Can poor Faith just win for once. Why does Mudenda think he has so much power. Mxm. The baby situation is just heart breaking.

  10. Desperate mom,therez a prophet i know in pretoria,if u cant get there u can ask anyone around u who knows the cordinates to public channels on dstv the prophets name is sheperd bushiri he is at pretoria show ground…stay blessed

  11. good day my people thank you very much, my boyfriend once impregnated a girl but she aborted years back before we met but it might be true that he should also take a step in seeing if there is nothing wrong with him. please email me on

  12. Faith give Mthobisi a call,he will sort Mudunde in no time. And Ruben is your baby.
    QnA maybe you don’t have a problem. Ask your boyfriend to do some tests as well. I like your mum’s idea of marriage first then babies but its non of business so I’ll have a cup of tea

  13. QnA chick I haven’t heard you say whether your bf has went for tests or not because now you are undergoing operations and nyangas n prophets but are you sure guy is fine too?

  14. Desparate mom why don’t you get married 1st then consider trying for a baby or doing all thats you’re doing once you’re married,if you do not concieve chances of this guy marrying you are slim maybe.. Just tell your boo to get tested too maybe the problem lies with him

  15. Sin CNT prevent one from conceiving… Your bf must go test before you take drastic decisions than you already have…while we planing life happens…why wana get prey b4 u tie the knot though?

  16. Hi . If you think you are old enough to have a baby then I think you are old enough to make decisions that affect your life , not your mother .

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