As wives we play a role in how men treat the kids that they came with when they were marred. We either corner them into supporting the child or abandoning it. The saying that men think with the wrong parts of their anatomy has never been so true especially on this topic. If I was anti his children, rest assured if he wanted me he would be anti them as well. If I loved them and fought for them from day one then they will be loved by him as though they were part of this marriage and family. That’s the way marriage works. Personally I had never shown my true colours towards his children from his past mostly because he had kept them at a distance. Nelisa had just come recently when really I was too old to care whilst Nozipho came so rarely even I was happy to see her at times.
This child had just called me a bitch and if it was any other time I would have gotten angry with her but who could blame her. It looked as though I was the one who had thrown them out. She had had a good time with her father and the moment they came back she was now being chased out like a dog. This stunning turn of events had frozen me where I stood.
“You can’t be serious!”
I found myself muttering to myself but out loud. I don’t think Nelisa heard me though even though she was just a room across. I went after Sizwe!
“Sizwe if those kids leave I will leave with them!”
I said angrily after I followed him down. My voice no longer had control that’s how angry I was.
“Why are you throwing Nelisa and Nozipho out?”
I asked him. Such was the extent of my shock I was shaking. Was he crazy?
“She did not tell anyone she was coming! She just showed up!”
He said angrily.
“This is not her mothers house where she can just walk in like its a public toilet!”
“Its her fathers house so yes she can walk in when ever she wants! That’s what happens when you have children Sizwe, you take care of them! They should never grow up in the bushes in the first place!”
I said angrily.
“Don’t challenge me on this Nothabo! There are so many things that you don’t know because you are so proud to take notice!”
His voice was loud. Lintle was looking on shocked, mouth wide open but neither of us was about to back down and say we are fighting in front of the kids.
“The things I don’t know is because you, father of the year, have not told me yet! I have to guess what’s going on almost all the time!”
I defended myself and stood toe to toe with him!
“They are leaving! I don’t want them here! If you want to leave with them then go as well but Nozipho is not sleeping here!”
He finally said it out right!
“Why can’t she sleep here?”
A little voice said from across the room! It was Lintle but she had spoken out of turn clearly because my husband picked up a magazine that was next to him and threw it across the room towards her narrowly missing her!
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He shouted angrily I swear the house shook at that moment.
“You don’t intervene in an adults conversation! Have you learned nothing at all growing up?”
He asked the shocked child!
He shouted angrily. This thing was escalating fast. I can’t recall the last time I had seen Sizwe this angry and all over his own daughters!
“Dad what’s gotten into you? You were so nice the whole day and all of a sudden you are freaking out! That’s not cool!”
Lintle stood her ground but I think her father would have slapped her had she not walked away at that moment. She came stood behind me.
“Mom can I go with them if they live because dad is scaring me right now!”
She asked me out loud. Her father looked at her in disbelief. He had not thought she would deliberately go behind his back but to spite him.
“Go to your room. You are not going anywhere!”
He said. She stood there and glared at me as though I was supposed to say something.
“Listen to your father dear. I will come to you just now!”
I told her.
“You always take each others sides!”
She complained and she was right. You can’t exactly go against each other in front of the children because it sets a bad example. Parents who fight in front of the kids teach them dysfunctionality and that’s what we try avoid it. She went upstairs leaving Nozipho alone downstairs with us looking lost.
“Nozipho, go join your sisters upstairs!”
I said to her softening my voice. If this was a very awkward place to be for me how must that be feeling for her. I watched her walk upstairs and then turned to my husband.
“Sizwe since when do you treat women like that?”
I asked him. I was trying to use the abuse line as most men nowadays react to that.
“She is my daughter, I will treat as I please! She broke the rules and most likely her mother put her up to it!”
He said defensively. I really was missing something.
“Just a few weeks ago you were about to run off with her aunty and now you judge her mother?”
I asked him incredulously. He did not see that one coming and by his reaction I am certain it came out as a low blow.
He asked me!
“Yes really! You are always up to something and I am the one that has to put up with and take out all the fires. Your kids come in and out of here and I never complain yet when I ask you to do one thing its like a conspiracy!”
I shouted at him. I had gotten him off his guard now and he started to apologise but I had had enough. I stomped outside and packed an overnight bag too.
“Girls let’s go!”
I said angrily at them. I was not angry at them but at him yet that tone just carried through.
“Lintle, you too!”
I said. She was so excited by this she quickly packed and we we all went downstairs together. It was a tad bit dramatic but if my husband wanted the girls out of the house than that is what he will get.
“Where are you going?”
He asked me when he saw that I too was carrying a bag. I totally ignored him and walked right through him. We got into my car with him still trying to stop us but we managed to drive away.
“I am sorry I called you bitch! I thought it was you who had thrown us out but from your arguing for us, I was wrong!”
Nelisa said as we drove out. I did not make a big deal out of it and just drove silently.
“We can go to my place, my roommate is not there!”
“No! I have a better idea! Let’s find an expensive hotel! I took your fathers credit card so he will pay for it!”
I said and the girls laughed. I don’t know why women enjoy punishing a man by spending his money and its not just a black thing. Maybe the thought that he worked hard for it is the thrill.
We went to the Maslow Hotel in Sandton and I booked two bedrooms for us. I had seen this hotel on Lintles instagram and it seems expensive as all those girls with sugardaddies, weaves, fake accents and often in Dubai are always there. Its like that hotel in Sandton which if you have made it as a gold digger you most definitely must check into so that the other girls like you must know to watch their backs. This was bad parenting 101 should have taken them elsewhere. Lintle was obviously so excited, Nelisa was not fazed and Nozipho just looked dazed and confused.
“Lintle are you going to sleep with me or …”
I asked her. It was obvious she was going to choose the girls which created a new problem. I could not trust them not to sneak out but I was tired.
“Lintle, my phone is off so I am going to be using yours! Nelisa don’t make my daughter drink please and what ever you do, be back by 2pm!”
I said as I went to my room which was next to theirs. They were all surprised by this but did not say anything. I think the reverse psychology had worked because now that they knew they could go out, they would not.
I called Zethu.
“Are you ok? Is everything ok with my brother!”
I asked her. She spoke as though nothing had even happened.
“Oh we are cool. It was just a misunderstanding that won’t happen again!”
I wished I could smack her on the head but oh well, she will learn for herself.
“I am thinking of leaving Sizwe. There are just so many secrets in my marriage and I don’t think I am happy anymore!”
I told her. I think I was telling her for the sake of her saying,
“Don’t be absurd, you love him and he loves you!”
But she threw me off when said,
“Its no secret, we can all see you are not happy, even your brother sees it too and talks about it all the time!”
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am fan of your work and appreciative.
I am writing this letter on behalf of my cousin who has been sick since last year.
The problem started when she fell preggies with her last born, as she was going through her routine checking at 7months she was diagnosed with HIV and given ARVS immediately.She was instructed to not to break feed her daughter as she started her medication late she will pass the virus to the little1.
But the problem here is that ever since she started taking the medication shes lost so much weight(from size 32 ,now 09-10/11-12) and she’s also lost so much complexion
Shes been to several docs and visited the clinic so many times however, when they do blood tests on her and the kid they both test Negative,
Recently shes developed yellowish eyes which she also went to a doc and she was told its Jondice but no once could tell her what caused.
She tells the nurses & doctors about how she started loosing weight & complexion soon after thing those pills but their response is, it’s has nothing to do with medication and that once you start taking ARVS you can not stop,
Guys-could it be the medication thus killing her or something else?
Is it wise to stop taking the medication ?