Realities – Chapter 112

To be warned is to be foretold but to a woman you can never ever say I told you so! We will disown you so fast because you think you know better. There is nothing to celebrate when you words of warning become prophesy and are proved true. That’s just something you are supposed to swallow with quite satisfaction that you were right. Men denying their children now that’s something very common but denying your child in front of people must be a first for me. I was speechless. What the hell had just happened? Zethu was more stunned than me because she did not even move. She stared at the ghost of his shadow and looked at the door he had gone out of. I was not sure what to say because wow, I need a moment.

“He just denied his child just like that?”

Zethu finally said standing up and holding her hand. She was not crying more like confused.

“How can he deny his child like that? Is that even normal!?”

She asked me. People often ask if marriage is an achievement and I used to be one of those that laugh at women that think it is. Looking at Zethu at this moment I believe I was wrong. Marriage is an achievement not because its the destiny of a woman but because to get these bastards to commit takes a miracle. Fewer and fewer women are achieving it nowadays not because we are weak or less desirable but because the quality of man out there really is below standard. That’s just how I see it. Feminists will vilify you for calling this an achievement but reality shows that once upon a time all men wanted to marry one way or the other, nowadays marriage is a liability for way too many.

“I don’t mean to pry but what did he mean you never not used a condom?”

I asked her. Ok I was prying but we are all taught to say that we do not mean to do something bad before we do it.

“He is right we never did but you know better than most that condoms are not the safest or most full proof thing out there!”

She said. I know what she meant but spare a thought for my brother. In his unevolved mind I am sure that would never make sense. Could I trust Zethu though? I did say from the beginning she was an independent woman with liberal tastes before she met my brother. I needed to change my tune.

I stood up and ran outside after my brother. He was standing in the road, hands on his knees as though someone had punched him. When he saw me coming he raised his finger as though to stop me from moving further towards him or talking,


He said warning me not to advise him or say a word.

“Don’t what?”

I asked him.

“Don’t lecture me! I am not being another deadbeat but your warning has always been that with all these girls I end up with I must use a condom. You have drummed that in me for so long I never make that mistake. Zethu was or is like you, from when we started, we have never not used a condom. In fact she carries her own condoms just in case and even has female condoms for fuck sake! Who does that?”

He asked me. Female condoms… Even I have never used that. Its actually amazing how many women don’t even know what they look like. We are brainwashed yet again and insist that it is the man that must wear protection when we too can do that yet we call ourselves modern and informed.

“So what’s your point?”

I asked him.

“How can she be pregnant then? I am not be doctor smart like you but I am not stupid! That is not my baby. If it is then Jesus has come back because it will be a miracle!”

He said. I am not sure if I can say he was angry as he said this or defeated.

“What if the condom broke or leaked?”

I asked him.

“Sis I would I know, come on now. How can I not tell whether a condom broke or not?”

He asked me. Again I had no answer. What was going on? My brother sounded convinced that this had not happened through him and Zethu I strongly doubt would have cheated the way she has been so in love lately.

“Ok think of it this way and listen to me carefully, do you think you will ever get a woman as accomplished as Zethu? Think! You always say you are the realist and here is some reality for you!”

I started to explain this time walking him down the road so that we could prevent anyone from hearing.

“Zethu is a fucken doctor. Your last three girlfriends you told me about two worked at Shoprite and the other one was a teller at the Post Office! You often asked for money just to add to their transport money to get to work. Now you have a woman who can afford to buy all of them and you coming up with this bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with you boy? You need to grow up and man up! You are going nowhere fast and you keep whining like a little girl!”

I shouted at him. Yes I had gone there. The majority of us women look for love in a man with a future, a job and the security that it provides. Again I go back to how girls mostly prefer a man with a car. Its not that the car is important but that the car shows the man works hard enough to earn one. Nowadays people are missing that point in the name of doing it for themselves. Ask those very same people if they would date a man without that or has a bicycle only and they will say no!

“Are you saying I should become a gold digger?”

My brother asked me incredulously! I had not quite thought of it like that but if he had to be one then yes. Poverty is a two way stream. Its not reserved for women only and desperation affects us all. In all fairness how long will it be before my brother is doing more of the wrong things he used to do and lends up in jail or dead.

“Go find out what happened before acting like a fool. That’s all I am saying. The baby is probably yours and you know Zethu loves you. Stop pretending that you don’t love her either because you came all the way here in a taxi carrying flowers!”

I reminded him.

“I didn’t buy them. I cut them outside your estate!”

He said dryly which was a lie because there were no flowers there.

“Just come do the right thing. She is in the house panicking at this moment because of your reaction!”

I warned him.

“If I apologize I won’t mean because this baby is not mine and I won’t raise another mans child! Its not in my DNA! Hell I don’t even want children!”

He said starting to protest again.

“She will raise her own child, she is not asking for your money, you have none!”

I reminded him which kinda stung him but he needed to hear that. We walked back to the house debating on the merits of what we had just discussed.

“I do love her though!”

He was telling me.

“If you ever hit her again I will take you to the police station myself and make sure that they never let you out! What is wrong with you really? Don’t you ever do that again!”

I warned him. He apologized. We met her outside the house and she was angry and about to leave.

“Zethu wait, I am sorry!”

He said to her!

“What are you sorry for? Making me sound like a slut! You think I have been sleeping around don’t you! How could you?”

She asked him angrily. Had my advice come too late.

“Yeah but do you blame me! Name once that we had sex without a condom Zethu? Just once!”

He asked her. She was stuck for an answer and said nothing. My brother might have had a point after all but now was not the time to claim righteous victory. I pinched him in the back and he stepped forward,

“It doesn’t matter, you are my woman and we need to go sort this out!”

He said.

“First say that the baby is yours otherwise there is no sorting anything out! You are making me sound like a slut and resent that completely!”

She saidd defiantly. These people must go fight at their house not here, come on now. Zethu got out of the car and walked back into the house. I stood there for a moment and threw my hands in the air in resignation. Come on now!

“Kgosi what did we just discuss?”

I asked him. He just looked at me, threw his hands in the air and went into the house after her. This left me outside with my hands on my waist. What now? I needed some air and they needed some space to fight it out without me being there. I decided to take an unplanned slow walk around the complex to give them this. I had done my part. It was not the biggest of estates so in 30 minutes I was back.

When I walked back in, there was a girl sitting with Zethu and for a moment I had thought it was Nelisa because of her gait but it was not. Only when she turned did I recognise whom it was. O crap, I had forgotten she existed!

“Nozipho! Hi!”

I said very bemused but with a smile on my face! Nelisa was also here meaning two of my husbands bastards were in my house at the same time. God Help me!

“How are you mma?”

She said. Because she had come often to see us, my husband had insisted she called me mum. I minded yes but she could not exactly call me by name or aunty.

“I am ok. Your father is not here my dear he went to Pietermaritzburg!”

I told her!

“Its fine. I am actually here to see you!”

She said.

The fuck!

******The End*******

Mikeatdiary (instagram)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Friends.

Today I will post a letter that I found online. I found it fascinating as most of our letters are like this and at time I wish I could respond like this.

Please read attached picture and comment.



Thank You

Mike Maphoto

43 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter 112

  1. Haibo…cool coffin…Siphi na apha?? Lol hay ngumhlola

    Thank you Bhut Mike… I often have discussions with my friends as to what is important…Having a man with money but dont treat you right …. or having a broke guy who treats you like a queen…Some people will say Love doesnt pay bills….but what does money have to do with Love???? Its rough and tough out there…. Kodwa hay cool coffin??? Hay noko….


    1. It’s very difficult to love on an empty stomach. I think it’s every man’s responsibility to be able to provide for his own. The other thing is that you can see when someone is doing their best to change their situation and one that has accepted the status quo and has sort of given up.

      1. I do understand that LoveIsIntheAir …I would also not want to be in a relationship with someon who doesnt have goals ambitions and dreams ….as well as having someone with all those goals ambitions and dremas but not doing anything about it…I told my boyfirnd that I’m giving him a year to start saving for my lobola ..if not..then clearly he is not taking me or our relationship serious….But I do have a problem with women who solely g out and PICK men who are rich and monied….I mean how does money equate to love?? How do you measure someone’s pocket and you decide that he is good enough to be with you?? I mean there are people out there who stay in loveless and some in abusive relationships and marriages simply because they dont want to lose the “lifestyle” they have been accustomed to? So how is that Love??

        Why is it that we put money before everything else??

      2. I totally agree with LoveIsIntheAir….It should be a man’s major goal to provide for his family but hayi….not all the boys that were raised for our generation share the same sentiment.Other guys think a struggling mother equates to them making their partner also struggle and see nothing wrong with it….It was not designed that children be raised by a single mother but unfortunately society has raised men that don’t want to take responsibility and women that think they can do it on their own and no impact on the children raised….

        1. Dont get me wrong ThaLee. I am totally for the whole a man should and must proide for his family…that is why He is appointed as the herd of the family mos is it not…??

          Buuuuuut my argument is…why is it that we measure a man’s pocket and thaaat on its own “qualifies” him as being good enough or he is worthy to be dated….

          For example….I have a friend who is a CA..and she met her now husband when he wasnt even working…He is in advertising…she is doing her masters in CA and she recently started working…in about 5 years to come she will probably be earning more than her husband…so now will she have to leave him because now all of a sudden he is not “providing” for her…bear in mind that in the first 3 years of their relationship he was the only breadwinner……

          Why does money make or break a relationship? For me…a man can and is able to provide in more ways than financially only…..

          Nowadays….money seems to be dela breakers in relationships….we accept people who cheat and abuse us but we cannot accept a person who is broke….

          1. Because PillzBerry, to alot of women today, providing doesnt just mean your basic needs are covered. it also means your wants too. the expensive german cars, bo di Moet, holidays to cape town.

            alot of women are falling into the trap of being influenced by the instagram lifetyle and #RelationshipGoals.

            hence why if she has that lifestyle, she wont walk away from it, no matter how bad the cheating or abuse is. and if a man isnt able to provide that lifestyle, then he is broke in her eyes.

            one thing girls forget is black men are still playing catch up to their white counterparts, some of whom are born into wealth.

            so to expect a guy in his 20’s to be able to afford your AMG and M4 and stay in the expensive estates and shop at H&M, is bloody madness. most are still paying of their “Black Tax”

          2. Hi Ms. PillzBerry….My argument is there is a difference with a man wanting to provide and unable due to circumstances with a man who is lazy and comfortable with a woman slaving for the family….without him lifting a finger. I am a classic example of a lady that loves a man for who he is not what he has and trust me some of the brothers out there take advantage of us and take it that it means we should work like dogs for them to even benefit. My man had been a boyfriend to me for many years and promised to be the man of the house but constantly I receive a man that is too comfortable and he knows I can hustle hence he sits on his ass…hence I say….if a man wants to provide then by all means stick by him ….even if you as the woman are the breadwinner….actions of a man show what his intention is….I am not supportive of gold diggers and materialistic people as I know how money can be there today and gone tomorrow….but a relationship has to be able to withstand the tests of time and financial stand.

            If a man wants to be a provider he will show it in his actions and will push to try and be…. a man that is not interested will relax and see nothing wrong with watching his woman hustle as he sleeps and even call her a bitch and a whore for hustling to survive.

            There are a lot of guys out here who just relax and watch as woman work dozen jobs to sustain the house and won’t even help the woman in the house with what the woman should be solely looking at….that is what I an 100% against.

            Relationships are about being a team….

  2. Good day Mike and Team, I posted my email address yesterday as a response to Unemployed who wanted help with looking for a job and most of you have been emailing me and sending your c.v.’s.

    Please note that I can’t accept c.v.’s I am just a Secretary myself but do copy the link provided below into your browser to look for a job in the legal department:

    Please make sure to update your details on the web page so that you will get notifications if something comes up.

    I can’t reply to all your emails.

    Don’t forget to share with those who are in need. 🙂

    Thank you.

  3. Men should be banned from advisory columns. Uncle Ted wants to send the poor lady to an early grave.

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome one buddy.

    Eh but I cant see the attachment though…. normal browser and chrome is not showing me anything….

    1. Did you come right Uncle Jack? Lol…. I sued goole chrome , at first it didnt appear but I just refreshed and then booom …Uncle Ted

  5. Yeeehe he he he he he he uncle Ted is my typa nigga lol,akaSugar coat(I) nex Lol,me too I want a cool coffin shem

    1. Here you go :

      Dear Uncle Ted,
      We got Married straight out of college. Life was of course very tough, but I persevered because he promised all will be well. Three years and one baby on, nothing has changed. We live like paupers and I am tired. Should I leave him? Why cant he work hard like other men.


      Hi Cecilia
      I think your man is a disgrace. While good husbands are stealing money from government, buying plots an big cars, I cant comprehend why he imagines that his fortunes will change miraculously by diligently working on that small job and paying his Helb loan and taxes like a good citizen. If I were you, I would grab the baby and run. Amazing opportunities are everywhere. A few nude photos on social media will make you rich and famous. If you hang around big politician, you could become a nominated MCA or a third wife. If you go to the right clubs, you could bump into a drug trafficker and make easy and quick cash. Other women have done it; you can do it. Of course you will die sooner , but at least you will afford a cool coffin!

  6. Uncle Ted is not fit for this ey, cracked me up… Personally i will NEVER date an unemployed guy. I did that in high school and Varsity. Now, … NEVER! I am not apologetic about it. I have standards like everyone else and i wont settle for a man who is unemployed, me and him have different struggles. Should my man loose his job, thats a different story, but I am not going to start a new relationship with a man who isn’t employed, his should be to find a job and forget women till he has something financial to offer.

  7. Ohhhh I ought to be the dumbest person to think that there is a Master’s Degree in Accounting….

  8. I think it’s every person’s responsibility to provide for themselves kulesiskhathi esphila kuso. I mean we say 50/50 but we still expect things to happen ngeyndlela zase mandulo. Uzofa nini ujahhana nezimali zabantu

  9. I like lil’ Zanele’s new angle to this topic. Perceptions differ from family to family & from generation to generation.
    Rewind 50years back, how many female engineers do U know? So 50/50 has opened way for more women to earn more than men & we have fewer sit-home-and- cook mums.
    Let love be if a hard working women loves a broke ass guy let them be.
    Did we call our moms lazy when they sat home while dady put food on the table? Let the lucky guy enjoy the benefits of a “modern” woman’s 6fig salary. Tables have been turned.
    Both men & women are supposed to provide for their families in the 21St century not the men alone as traditionally believed. Smell the coffee ppl

  10. The rich marrying the rich often leads to spoilt brats who sometimes become “ambition-less” & may even end up abusing drugs etc (not all of them of course).
    The poor only marrying the poor makes the kids too desperate & some end up being criminal & bishiz (not all of them of course).

    So my theorem is: mixed relationships (where either the wife or the hubby is earning a high) = children with a fair chance in life = a balanced community = a fairly successful country = modern day socialism & redistribution of wealth.

  11. You know Papa G what you saying just reminded me of something I came across…. A lady who was dating a taxi driver for 4 years, guy took out a loan of 15 000 to help her with her studies…girl has an internship now at a reputable company and in about 3 or 4 years she sees herself earning boma 40k a month….Now her problem is guy is not ambitious,in her eyes as he does not want to study further, or buy a taxi of his own…like to her the guy is content with just being a taxi driver…and she is thinking of leaving him and find someone in her own league….

    Now…a response came to that saying that if she thinks of dating someone who has money like her…that wont work as rich people date rich people who have the same background and so forth…Eg….a cheeseboy who grew up in Sandton will never date a kasi girl who grew up in Emkhukhwini as the background will be too different…so cheeseboy will ate a cheesegirl who can relate to the Sandton life he is accustomed to an knows….

    I was sooo baffled at this and I honestly didnt know that such exists even….

    As ideal as what you saying is , it might not happen if this is how we gon be treating each other…

    1. PillzBerry there is abit of truth to that, i just dont know how much of a norm it is though. but if you look in general guys date girls with a similar background to them, be it a middle class or wealthy background.

      but ive seen that girls tend to want to date guys who come from a better background from them, for obvious reasons LOL

      1. Jozey and PillzBerry that may be the norm but not always the case.I am a suburban girl….not a snob but I got my kasi man….was taught to never judge a person by their background but rather the love and intentions they have….a kasi guy may also turn into a millionaire just like our parents worked hard and managed to give us better than they had….your background and how you were raised is not a determining factor of who you want to be….it is a person comfort and ambition that determines where they want to be in future.The taxi driver and girl he helped get educated shared a past hut unfortunately the future plans for the two are not aligned….just saying….

  12. Hahahahahaha ooohhh Jozey we women are a shalow bunch kalok…..all we wnat is all that tv mambo jambo and instagram life and we forget about reality and whats important…..

    I am …for some odd reason dating a guy who has the same kind of background to mine…it was not a conscious thing but we somehow connected and as we got to know each other we find out we have sooo many similarities to our backgrounds……

    Anywhoooo… I was not aware of this Jozey hey…but clearly it is out there…..

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