Fact, many of you have never heard a gun shot live! It’s no wonder that not many black people heard the gun shots at Oscar Pistorious’s house that night. We don’t do guns as black folk unless you are a policeman, a soldier, security guard or criminal. With that said, how many of the people I just mentioned have degrees? Yes it doesn’t take rocket science to pull a trigger but how comforting are these facts to you? When you hear shooting you have an immediate adrenalin rush which is triggered by fear and definitely a need to survive.
“What are you doing with a gun in my house?” I asked him as he crouched behind the couch!
“Woman do you ever shut up!” he hissed at me. I can’t believe I was poking a man who had a gun. He was not only nervous but on edge too!
“You don’t get to tell me to shut up! You brought this here not the other way round!” I shouted back at him. He moved very quickly and covered my mouth with his hand angrily.
“Stop it!” he warned me. I pulled his hand away from my face!
“If you ever touch me like that again I will scream!” I said angrily.
“Scream right now and I will show the last thing you ever see!” he said very coldly. There was not an ounce of emotion his voice. I did not have to second guess him either because it was very clear what he meant by that. The gun shots died down and were replaced by screaming and men’s voices barking orders. I was too scared now to poke my head out and look.
“Listen to me, they are going to do a door to door search for me. They can’t force themselves into your house if you have committed no crime so you don’t have to let them in.” he said. I don’t know what he saw because he shook me, “Are you listening? Don’t fuck this up for me please!” he said angrily. For a man who was asking me for help he clearly was not doing it the right way.
“Where can I hide?”he asked me.
“I don’t know!” I blurted out. Truly I did not. If you look at your house right now would you know where to hide a criminal who is being hunted by policemen either? I doubt that very much.
“Please think!” he begged me in his own aggressive way. I took him upstairs, into the walk in closet. It was the best I could think of. He said it was not good enough but for me it was. I had nowhere else.
“Ok its fine. Go downstairs. I will make a plan!” he said and as I walked out he said, “Nothabo!” I turned.
“Please don’t let me down!”
As I walked down the stairs I knew I had an opportunity. An opportunity to actually get rid of this guy from my life once and for all. I might never get a chance like this again so maybe I should take it. He was not my friend and in fact, half the time we were together he was threatening me in one way or the other. On several occassions I had wanted him out of my life and just did not know how! This was so tempting and as I was thinking that, the door bell rang followed immediately knock!
“This is the police!” a loud voice said from outside my house and again knocked aggressively.
“Hold your horses I am coming!”I shouted as I went towards the door. As I opened the door the person was about to knock again.
“What’s with all the commotion?” I asked him.
“Are you the owner of this house or do you work here?” he asked me menacingly!
“Do I look like a nanny? Seriously!” I said as though I was taking offence but he was right to ask. Nowadays housewives are not the coolest people to be so the only people who often stay in the home are the domestics. It’s employment at the end of the day and better than nothing.
“My apologies! We are looking for a highly dangerous and armed criminal who was seen running into this estate!” the officer said. He looked menacing with his bullet vest and big gun in his hands. This man was here to shoot to kill.
“Don’t point that thing at me!” I said defiantly as his gun was indeed pointed up!
“My apologies again ma’am! Is there anyone in the house with you?” he asked me.
“Not in the house but at the back there is a young man. He is my nephew and stays in the backroom!”I said remembering Simon. What if they shot the poor boy?
“Do we have your permission to search the premises?” he asked.
“As long as you don’t enter my house you can search the yard and the back. I have been in the house watching TV the whole morning and no one has entered!” I told him. He seemed annoyed at me and tried to peak into my house.
“Are you serious right now? What’s your head doing in my house?” I asked him.
“M’aam you only slowing us down!”
“Slowing you down by refusing for you to enter my house! The one that I pay for with my husband who is a Judge and me who is a Doctor? That house?” I asked him. That lie just came out as easily as eating bread. Name dropping is not just a politician thing, it’s a South African thing. Black or white, people do it. It’s easy to say politicians are the ones guilty of it but let me ask you this, if you knew Jacob Zuma personally and could get something done faster by saying he is with you, would you not do it? Pshhh people always try and act brand new like they keep Jesus in their pocket but we know the truth.
“I am sorry ma’am!” he said and he stepped back. The judge thing had sealed the deal. He immediately jogged away to my neighbors house. I watched him get there and this time a uniformed lady worked there. She had worked in that hoise for as long as I could remember. I watched him talk to her then move away. She stepped back into the house but she looked my way for a bit and entered. She did not wave at me. I closed my door, switched on the TV and ran upstairs.
“Mthobisi!” I called out his name in what was more like a loud whisper than an actual call out. I went into the closet but he was not there!
“Mthobisi!” I called out again. I heard a sound in the upper closet where we keep blankets. How the fuck did he get up there though because it was pretty high. Fear makes you do great things I tell you. I went and opened it and even then I did not see him.
“They are gone you can come out now!” I said to him trying to conceal my laughter, for a grown man to fit where he was a miracle indeed.
“Tell me exactly what you told him when he was here?” I was a bit surprised by that request but I recited everything. He listened attentively then he said angrily, “The TV was not on when we were downstairs!”
Okay I was confused now.
“Yes it was. I just switched it on now! Why?” I responded.
“You told him that you have been watching TV and if he paid a bit of attention he would have heard that the TV was off!”
I had not thought of that and frankly speaking now he was being paranoid.
“Ah come on. Now you are just stretching…” I started to protest.
“I know how police search. Go watch TV for at least an hour before you come back for me.” He said.
“An hour?” I asked him as though he was nuts.
“Yes! It was a man right that knocked. Take your lingerie and quickly pack it in front of me. Put the blankets here too but the lingerie must be in front!”
I stood there frozen. Did I hear him correctly?
“What kind of pevert are you? The answer is no! Are you mad?”
I never thought I would get self conscious over underwear. It’s just a piece of cloth after all. Think about it, bikini’s nowadays are skimpier than lingerie but we wear them without fear in public whereas a woman’s underwear is almost taboo!
“Listen Nothabo! You are in this already. If I am found the policeman will say you were hiding me. They will go through my phone and will see that you and I already know each other meaning they won’t say I threatened you! You will go to jail with me and that’s if they take us alive! So keep fucking around like this and you will see how quickly this will turn south for you without me even lifting a finger!” he said in a very short but well-placed motivational speech and oh yes, I was motivated! I was not even reluctant to empty my chest of drawers because he was right with what he said. I had aided and abetted a criminal meaning there was a high likelihood I would go to jail. Lingerie can wait!
“Pack them in front of me and don’t worry, I have eyes only for my wife. I am not that kind of man!”
I packed as quickly as I could. I replaced the drawers with clothes at his instruction. He said that if they found the drawers empty then it would be odd indeed which would make them ask questions. I was not even finished packing when there a loud knock on the door.
“Hurry, flush the toilet in your bedroom and spray air freshner!” he said.
“What makes you think I have air freshener? What if I can’t afford it?” I asked him annoyed.
“Because it would show a lack of civilisation on your part if you didn’t with all the resources that you have!” he said in what I hoped was a joke. I did not get why I had to do that but as the police where knocking even louder now I ran and did that before I went downstairs!
“You again!” I said when I recognised the policeman as the one who was here earlier on.
“We have been given permission to search every house and we are starting with this one!” he said sternly walking right through me.
“Judge or not, you can’t say no!” he said and two men walked in.
“Go ahead! I will be watching TV!”
I said with a smile and sat down! He just stared at me!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
My name is Njabulo from KZN in Port Shepstone. I am an unemployed civil engineering graduate (National Diploma). I finished my studies back in 2011 when I was 20 years old, graduated 3 years later in 2014 because I had trouble finding inservice training. This year I’m turning 25 and I haven’t been able to find a job. I have limited experience in the field so I am willing to start from the bottom and work my way up. I am willing to relocate and I have a code 10 drivers licence.
Please spread the word for me Mike.I ask anyone who can be of any assistance to contact me. My email address is email@example.com.