It is no secret, women hate other women. I have experienced it and I have seen it. It’s not about going with clichés but if truth be told we are threatened by each other no matter what. As women, we will forgive the same man for the same hurtful behaviour over and over and over and over again but when a female friend does us wrong just once, we won’t think twice about cutting them out of our lives! It’s the reality we live in and they can dedicate as many holidays as they want to honour us but the truth is unless we love each other first, men will never respect us! That was my boss for you. She hated all the female doctors under her but she seemed fine with the males. She was not even having an affair with them that much I am certain but she genuinely seemed to prefer them to us.
I had reason to worry that’s for certain. Unemployment is unemployment whether you are a doctor or not. I did not want to get the pink slip. It would be bad for my record to say the least because that could remain on my record and affect any future job applications. My other option would be to resign before an investigation is carried but then again there was George, he said he had switched the sample meaning I could actually come out not guilty of all this.
“Are you sure about that? Because that would be going over the top!” I asked her.
“I am sure that you know she has ambitions to run the hospital some day and if she is seen as being tough on you it will be very good on her!” she told me. I had never cared much for the hospital politics meaning I did not know who wanted what, where, why and how! This had nothing to do with me and now I was going to be a pawn in her ambitions.
“So what must I do?” I asked because I was stuck. I had really lost energy because I really was not expecting her to take things this far. A suspension yes but nothing as dire as going after my license.
“I think you have to stay off the grid for about two weeks to allow it to leave your system!” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“The only thing they can do to you, if at all, is ask you to retake the test and for that you will have to be here. She did not say that you must check in every day so as long as your phone is not going through she can’t say that! By the time they get hold of you and try to check later, what they want won’t be in your blood right?”
She made sense in so far as the ecstasy should have left my system by then but two weeks without my phone felt like punishment.
“I guess so. I don’t have much of a choice. They do have my husbands phone though in the HR records as my next of kin, which means they might call him!” I said to her.
Well it’s something I will have to come up with a plan for, I guess and she agreed too. She said her goodnight to a very unhappy woman, me! It never rained but it poured with me which is what made it all the more traumatic. I switched off my phone and got into my summer pyjamas. It was hot and I had too much on my mind to even think of sleeping. I went to look for my husband downstairs at his favourite spot, the couch but he was not there. Instead I found him outside by the pool sitting with Simon. I don’t know what they were discussing so I did not want to join them but as soon as I got to the door my husband saw me.
“Love, come here this boy tell me about politics!” he said. Politics, my husbands favourite topic and my worst. I did not want to embarrass him though so I went. I was so annoyed that they were talking “fees must fall” and they were on polar opposites. At least there was wine so I sat next to him and watched this yummy young man argue with my man.
“Ok hun you be the judge ok, here is my opinion, If by some miracle we achieve free university fees for every student in the country it will be ideal and beautiful. However, two things emerge, one is obviously who is going to pay for it but the second is more important!” he declared and cleared his throat,
“I was telling Simon here that, if the system is like that then it means the government and universities would have to use a pure system of meritocracy to select who goes to university. This means only the best of the best can go to university.” he said to which I responded,
“Yes that’s a good thing right and what we want…”
He laughed because clearly I was wrong according to him.
“You have two academic systems, IEB produces over 80 percent pass rates alone and is mostly rich black students and white students. They alone would have better grades than government schools. Secondly, it is the schools in Gauteng and Western Cape government schools that produce the majority of excellence in matric results meaning them plus IEB alone will automatically exclude Limpopo, Mpumalanga, Eastern Cape Etc. Thirdly, I know I said two, how do you think the black students in South Africa will take it when they see white kids, who marched with them mind you in this campaign plus also see the rich kids get more opportunities as at high school level because they are better equipped? Consider this, Gauteng kids are getting free tablets and unlimited data from the provincial government when kids in Limpopo don’t even have books! It will never work!”
My husband finished feeling very impressed with what I must say was a compelling argument. I looked at Simon whose turn it was to argue and then he simply said,
“It’s simple then, white people must go!” he said and we all laughed be it uncomfortably as in this house we did not have such a mentality.
“Go where?” I asked him.
He did not hesitate to say, “Wherever the came from? We we were always bound to have a class war in this country and a race war will just compound to this!” he said confidently. I found it a weak argument so I decided to change the subject by saying I was going to check on Nelisa and Lintle. They had been too quiet for too long now. It was rather late as well so I needed to sleep. I went upstairs and knocked on Lintle’s door. She opened it.
“Since when do we lock doors in this house?” I asked her calmly.
“Sorry mum!” she said annoyed at the fact that I had said that.
Nelisa was sitting on the bed looking at us.
“Nelisa please do not allow Lintle to use your phone to call Python!” I said to her. I could see the shock on her face when I said that as I am sure she was asking herself how I could possibly have known.
“What makes you think she has his number?” my daughter asked me cheekily. I was not going to snap at her though.
“I am your mother I know these things. Nelisa you might not like me because I am not your mother but I will treat you with the same respect a mother should give her child. Please, people like Python destroy lives and run away to their countries so I am begging you, don’t make my daughter be yet another victim of them!” I implored her. She was in a corner and she mumbled,
“I won’t do that ma’am!”
I said goodnight to them then I closed the door. I heard Nelisa say, “Your mom scares me a lot hey!”.
Lintle brushed her off saying I was more bark than bite! We will see about that!
In my room now, I lay down on the bed. I was tired but I was also horny. I don’t know if it was because of emotions or that little boy downstairs. A grown woman is allowed to fantasize I hope. I could picture him holding me by the waist and having his way.
“Snap out of it!” I told myself. What was wrong with me? This is not how I was supposed to behave. With all that was happening I was busy fantasizing about a little boy when my husband was right here! This was wrong. Maybe it’s time I found Jesus because women my age don’t have fantasies, it’s a white people thing as far as I am concerned. I closed my eyes and turned around but in the darkness I could hear the boy laugh and could feel his imaginary gaze one me. I wanted to feel sexy and look sexy. It’s like I was rediscovering what it felt to feel desirable again. I could not imagine how I had forgotten what that felt like for so long. I entertained it a while longer. I could feel his hands on me peel off my clothes one piece at a time. I could feel his lips on my skin and that felt magical. It was all imaginary but it felt so real. My hands went down to between my legs. I was not about to do this.
I needed to tell him exactly what I wanted.
Sizwe could you go down on me… I need your tongue…” I said. The more explicit I would say it the more urgent he would see my need.
“What’s gotten into you? Lintle is in the next room with Nelisa they can hear us!” he said self consciously. I knew they were there but in all the years together we had never been heard so what was he on about!
“Sizwe come on baby, can’t you see I am horny! Maybe it’s the ecstasy again meaning it’s not my fault!” I said to him. He was reluctant I could tell but like a good boy he came to me. I closed my eyes as he kneeled in front of me. It was not him I pictured, it was the boy downstairs.
I knew deep down, Simon had to go
Or he would become my Ben 10!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I’m a 26 year old new mom, my boyfriend (he’s 27) and I from the same town, both work at another province, we have a 2 months old son, so I spent my maternity leave at home. I’m a twin and all the twins in my family get cleansed once in a while, it’s been like that since I was a kid. My gran took me and my son to a traditional healer, I got cleansed but the healer said something disturbing about my son, he said that there’s something that makes him restless at night, it’s in his tummy and it’s from his father’s side. And indeed he was restless, he gave him something for it and he’s fine now. I do not if I should tell the father about this and now I’m scared for my son to visit his paternal side of the family.