Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 42

I think it’s Chris Brown who has a song that says ‘there’s never a right time to say goodbye but we know the we got to go our separate ways’. This song is true because indeed there is never a perfect time to say goodbye to someone you love. Even if you are in a relationship with a person who hurts you continuously, it is often hard to break up with them because goodbyes are generally a hard thing to do. It’s also hard to say goodbye to your loved ones when, for example, you are moving to another province or going to work for another company. Although some goodbyes are not final, they are still very hard to do. I was going to say my last and final goodbye to my sister and I wasn’t ready for that. Maybe when a few weeks have passed I will be able to go to her grave and say my proper goodbye.
When it was time to go to the cemetery, the family was told to leave first. I decided to stay behind and people kept staring at me, they probably thought I was dramatic but I didn’t care because they weren’t experiencing the pain I was experiencing. I watched them take away my sister’s and Letho’s tiny coffin. Mdu motioned me to stand up, but I told him that I will follow them when everyone has left. Everyone left and Philani came to me, he sat next me to me and said
“Baby we need to go to the cemetery.”
I didn’t agree at first but he begged me until I agreed. We went to the cemetery and they did the normal proceedings. At the cemetery I noticed how hot everyone looked, they were all dressed stylishly. What happened to funerals these days? At first funerals were solely to pay our last respect to the deceased…oh and to show support to the mourners. But these days funerals have turned into mini fashion parades, people dressed as if they were going to clubs. One lady particularly caught my attention, she was wearing a tight fitting black leather mini skirt and a transparent shirt.
People need to know what to dress for different occasions. You can’t dress like you are going to a party when you are going to a funeral or to church for that matter. I know that Jesus only seeks our hearts, but our bodies are his temple’s so we should look presentable when we go to His House to worship Him. It is very disrespectful to dress inappropriately, so people need to stop being disrespectful. Yes you should look beautiful but dress appropriately.
After the proceedings were done, Letho’s coffin was placed on top of my sisters. I watched as the coffins descended to the ground, I have never cried that much in my life. The pain I felt at that moment is indescribable and never did I ever imagine that I would experience so much pain in my life. I felt like my heart was being torn into a million pieces, I didn’t know what to do with the pain I was feeling. I didn’t know how to stop the pain I was feeling, no matter how much I cried, the pain did not stop, the pain demanded to be felt.
When the coffins were 6 feet under, the men covered them with the soil. When they were done, the family was requested to come and place flowers, Mdu and I went there 1st followed by my aunt and Mdu’s mother. I heard people loud sounds, as if something was surprising them and all of them were looking towards my aunt’s direction. I turned around to look at her and I don’t know why I was surprised to see my aunt in that position.
She was crying loudly, sitting on top of the floors and hitting the sad, she did this while saying “Oh My child, please come back to us. God why??? Why?? Why did you have to take our child.” After saying that she said a loud ‘YOOOOOOOHHHHHH!’. Her new friend, Mdu’s mother, stood next to her and she helped her stand up. She kept on telling her that everything was going to be alright, she was going to heal from her loss. I just watched them cause a scene, I thought she was done but when they got a bit closer to me, she fainted, they tried to pour some cold water on her face, but that didn’t wake her up. I decided to help her wake up because I was getting annoyed with her drama. This was m sister’s funeral not her stockvel meetings so I stood up and went to where she was, I bent down and clapped her. Yes I clapped her so hard she woke up immediately and said,
“Hlengiwe are you mad? Why did you clap me? You will regret what you have done.”
I responded “Sorry aunty, I wanted to wake you up and this is the only way I know how.”
Everyone had placed their eyes on us now, and things were getting heated.
She gave me a clap as well, and she screamed at me “How dare you Hlengiwe? I am going to teach you a lesson you will never forget.” I tried to walk away but she pulled me towards her, as I was about to kick her and pull myself away from her grip, my uncle was already pulling us away from each other. When they pulled us away from each other, she started hurling insults at me and calling me all kinds of names. I decided to not pay any attention to her, when I sat down Mdu laughed at me and said I must calm down and let my aunt be. It was easy for him to say that because he wasn’t the one who was directly related to her but I chose to take his advice.
When everything was done, Mdu’s uncle spoke on behalf of both families and told people to go to Mdu’s house for some lunch. We all left and went back to the house. When we arrived, I was hungry and I wanted to get some food. When I was going to dish up my cousin Zandile, she was my aunts daughter, came to me and said
“Thank you for doing what you did today, my mother deserved it. It was about time for someone to give her a well deserved clap. You don’t know the things our family has to go through because of her never ending drama. I wish I had the guts to do what you did.”
I just laughed and told her that it was all a pleasure. She continued to say
“Ey Hlengy let me tell you what my mother did to me. My fiancé’s family came to pay lobola, she forced my dad to give her the money because she claimed that she opened an account for the money. After a few months when we were discussing the budget for my wedding, she kept on avoiding us when we asked about the lobola money. My father suspected something and he persistently asked her about the money, then one day she confessed that she used up all the money. Yoh Hlengy there is so much that my mother has done, but we will need to spend the entire day talking about her shenanigans.”
My aunt’s love for money made her rob her own daughter? Hai this was bad yoh, she was clearly a bad mother and bad wife. My cousin and I agreed that we would work on our relationship and we exchanged numbers. Zandile was nice, although I didn’t know her that well but I knew that she was the complete opposite of her mother. After talking to her, I remembered that I was hungry and I went to look for dishes and made my way to where the food was.
After I dished up for myself and my friends, we took our food and went to sit outside. We spoke about everything from church, to fashion to cars but we didn’t talk about anything regarding death. It was very nice to chill and forget about my pain for a while. A little boy came to call me and told me that someone was looking for me. I followed him and the man who was calling me is Apostle Thulani. I didn’t even know that he came to the funeral.
“Hey baby, are you fine? I’m sorry about your sister.” He said and I responded
“Thank you, I’m okay. What do you want?”
“I wanted to check if you are fine and I want you to meet my father, he is here.”
Hai this man was moving too fast for me, now he wants me to meet his father. Wasn’t he supposed to check with me 1st before he invited himself and his family to my sister’s funeral? I wasn’t even keen on meeting his father because I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life or not. So this was a stupid move on his part.
I said “I won’t meet your father today. Philani is here in case you didn’t know.”
Just after I said that I saw Philani walking towards us, I warned Apostle that Philani was coming towards us. He arrived and said
“If I didn’t know better I would think that you are guys are plotting something against me. The way you guys acted nervously immediately when you saw me.”
I forced out a fake laugh, and said “Never baby, the Apostle was just strengthening me with some words from the bible. So when you came, we were already done but we were not going to go our separate ways because we had to wait for you to get here.”
“You don’t need to explain my love because I was just pulling your leg, I’m happy to see you here Apostle. Thank you very much for your help. I think Hlengiwe will probably be forever grateful for your support.” He said.
The three of us spoke for a while until Mdu called him to come and help him with something. I was left with the Apostle and I decided to leave him standing alone before people became suspicious of the two of us.
Before I could reach my friends , Bab Pat called me, I went to him and he told me that there is someone he wants me to meet. I agreed and walked with him, I thought maybe he was confused when I saw him walk towards Apostle, when he stood next to him, I knew that he wasn’t confused.
Apostle quickly spoke and said “Dad this is the woman I was telling you about.”
His father laughed and said “She is the one I also wanted you to meet.”
Okay this had to be some kind of a joke, how the hell are they related? This world is seriously a small world.
Was my mother’s ex boyfriend potentially going to be my father in-law?

19 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 42

  1. This diary is getting better and better by the dayor should I say by the week. Thanks for a good read dear.

  2. Oh my gosh. This is such an interesting read, I just can’t put my phone down. Thank you so much for this good read

  3. thanks team, wonderful work as always
    I so appreciate the Klap well managed lol
    aunty ke khurukhu( sekebekwa) u gotta love sepedi lol

  4. kungumnqweno wam ntobana ngase xa ubhala ezi ncwadi ebuncinaneni uposte 5 Chapters qho ngempelaveki….uyancomeka umsebenzi wakho Khanyi

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