I don’t why so many women believe that simply from seeing other women do it, raising a child by yourself is easy. That can not be further from the truth. There is a lot that goes into raising a child and I don’t say that lightly. My case might be a bit extreme as I was the unfortunate woman to end up with a Mudenda but when you sit down and think about it, how many Mudenda’s are out there? I love my baby but I would never encourage a woman, especially one unemployed like Aurelia to try raise a child by herself. Yes she had her parents’ money but the reason why she had gone to stay with her grandmother in KwaMashu was because she knew they would not just readily support what she was doing. They would most likely tell her to get a job and spoilt girls like Aurelia believe that product promotions are jobs and that fucking sugardaddies and rich men is a career! I love my friend, I will always say that but calling a spade a spade is also warranted. She was more happy with expensive clothes and weaves than being a mother. Come on, anyone whose greatest ambition is to be a model or the face of something does not have what it takes to work for her money when things go bad.
“Why do you sound like you don’t trust me?” she said laughing. I wanted to tell her the truth but some truths are not easy to just come out.
“It’s hard work. What happened to the deal you were working on, to be the face of that company?” I asked her. I actually could not remember what she had said the deal was but something like that.
“I am still thinking of how I will work around that. I can’t let this inconvenience stop me though!”
“Ok cool I understand. My question is this rather, why do you want to have a baby with people who don’t want you?”
I asked her. I think that stung her because she said,
“Ouch! That’s a bit harsh don’t you think?”
“I am sorry if it came out like that but you know me, I have always been frank with you and told you things that you don’t want to hear!”
I told her. For a moment I thought she will hang up but I think she was thinking.
“Well they thought they could just use me and I don’t think it should be like that. We will have this baby and they will pay maintenance for it!”
She said to me.
“But who is the father?”
I asked her. I was actually not sure anymore who was who so maybe now was the best chance to ask.
“Its Lunga obviously! Come on now!”
She said disgusted by the fact that I would even question. I was not going to apologise though because nowadays as new independent women we also sleep with as many men as men sleep with women. Its the 50\50 rule I suppose the only difference being that men don’t get pregnant and we do but I am sure some day that too will change.
“I have this figured out don’t worry.”
She said trying to convince me and immediately changed the subject,
“So when are you visiting? You said you wanted to come?”
She asked me. I know she didn’t mean it. Aurelia was always about keeping up appearances. Why should she want me to visit her at her grandmothers place?
“Why are you not going home though?”
I asked her.
“My father would kill me if I came back pregnant with no husband? Besides I don’t want them asking too many questions. I want to rediscover myself first before they even know I am here!”
“Won’t your grandmother sell you out though? It feels like you hiding from them! I get that you don’t want Lunga and his father to come after you but is this not extreme!”
I asked her. She gave me some excuses and said she had to go. I think I had asked her too many questions. I knew her plan at least. Me visiting her was not revisited.
I called Julius and asked him where his offices were. He said he would be in the office until late. I needed to go and see him because I had something important to discuss. I asked if I could come see him and he said I could.
“I am sorry to come in like this but it is important!”
I told him as soon as he asked me to sit down.
“Its fine. This was long overdue anyway. What’s up?”
He asked me.
“What are your working agreement with Thulare?”
I asked him. He was a bit surprised by the question.
“Well I was doing him a favor as we go ways back. Why?”
He asked me. I know this was silly and unprofessional but I had to say.
“Look Thulare and I are not dating. We never dated. We had a fling and now I really want to cut him off but I want to know how and if this will affect you working with me?”
He looked very surprised and confused.
“I don’t often make it a habit to get involved in peoples affairs. It will be very hard to stay on course if he says I should stop as I said I was doing him a favor.”
My heart sank when he said that. Did this mean that he will not be helping anymore? I was stuck. Maybe I had been too hasty to put my needs first.
“I was scared you would say that.”
I stuttered. Maybe I should stay in this relationship until all this mess is sorted.
“I am sorry. I am loyal to my friends and I know he wants to marry you. He has already told all of us and it would be very hard to continue!”
We chatted a bit longer but it was awkward now as I had created this tension. When I left I had a very heavy heart. My sister asked me what had taken place. I did not want to tell her because I had not told her what the meeing was about.
“Its not a good day that’s all. Please don’t ask more question so I can think!”
I told her. That’s how I felt at the moment. It really felt like the end of the world. I needed Julius because he gave me peace of mind by virtue of being there.
“I think we should have dinner somewhere. We are always at home and I think the fresh air will do us good!”
She said. I was not really looking forward to it but it was better than being at home. The house felt so empty and was making me feel miserable even now.
“What would you like to eat?”
She asked me but my mind was far away. This meant I could not dump Thulare now even if I wanted to. He had to dump me and by the sounds of it he was nowhere near those thoughts. He wanted to marry me. He had told everyone and now after the help he had given me I would look selfish.
“Let’s have Nandos.”
I told her. It was fast and would not waste our time. We parked in the parking lot and went inside. We chose the one by Leaping Frog so it was close to home. As soon as we sat down two guys came to join us.
“I thought you were not coming anymore!”
One of the guys said to my sister. She stood up and hugged him.
“Sorry. We took longer than I thought. There was traffic!”
She lied. She had also lied to me. This was a planned dinner date which made it a double date.
“This is my little sister Faith. Faith this is my friend Sean and …”
She said waiting for the other guy to speak.
“Oh I am Pravin!”
Oh forgot to mention he was Indian. Yes I was having dinner with two Indian guys, wow!
“How do you guys know each other?”
I asked immediately referring to my sister and Sean. She said some story about them having partied together once upon a time. They actually were from Pretoria and it just so happened they were in Fourways area.
“Have you guys ordered already?”
He asked. My sister took over the conversation. She was cracking jokes and all in all it was a pleasant evening. I have never double dated with my sister and now I see why she had so many friends. When she was with her people she was such a happy person not this dark gloomy person she often was at home.
“Can I please have your numbers?”
Pravin asked me when we left. It was so awkward because for some reason we can date white guys but when it comes to Indian its almost taboo yet they often look like us. I am not saying he was asking for them so we could date, no, it was just weird.
“It was good to see you laughing again!”
My sister said to me. It was good I can’t lie to be happy again. I needed the outing because I knew tomorrow morning when I woke up there will be more heartache and challenges.
“Thank you. I needed that!”
When we walked into the house we found my mother cooking. She was unhappy with us for not having have made supper and that worsened when I let slip that we had eaten. I felt bad that we had not thought of her when we were eating. I offered to cook for her and she accepted. She struck a conversation with my sister whilst I did this. Eish, like all girls I am on a diet but I ate again with her. I was hungry for some reason.
Eventually after the dishes I went to my room and lay down. I was tired.
I got a call from Julius. It was already after 9 pm so it was late.
“I have a bit of good news.”
“Yes what is it?”
I said feeling very down.
“Amo is coming home…”
I screamed which led my mother and sister to both run in.
They asked me.
“Amo is coming home! Amo is coming home!”
I said cheerfully. They also started cheering and only then did I remember I was still on the phone.
He was saying!
“Its only for the weekend. They thought with all that had happened it was prudent!”
Again my heart sank!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am very new to your blogs and once I started I just cannot put them down. You are an amazing writer. Thank you for sharing.
I am a teacher in one of the rural areas in KZN. I teach grade 9 and grade 10 classes. I have noticed that a lot of the girls are having sex already. I just wanted help in finding organisations that teach about these things so that I can invite them to come lecture them. There are even pregnant students here. I have spoken to the headmaster and he has given me permission to do this.