Rumblings – Chapter 146

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

I need us to ask ourselves a question: how does a grown person want to bring harm to a baby? How do you feel that is is okay to watch the child cry whilst we do whatever we are doing to them? Does your heart not break at the thought? I am a mother, my role in life is to protect and love not hurt and hate! There is evil that does not sleep and in this country it’s more so than in other countries. The way we abuse children I must say I have no words for and is beyond question, one of the most disgusting things that exists in humanity. As South Africans we pride ourselves above all other Africans in the continent yet we are second to none in our viciousness towards women and children in a non-war zone. I was now a statistic. I never thought that anyone could abuse my child. Abuse is what I wished never to happen in my direction. This was a game changer because there was now no way in hell I was going to allow Amo near that family nor was I going to leave Ruben with them.

I was not sure who to call because they may not have been told yet. My baby or babies were safe where they were now so as far as I am concerned it’s where they were meant to be. I called my sister and told her what I had just heard.

“I don’t know hey because above anything else, that woman loves that child. We saw her with him. It must that man. He is very dodgy!” she said. I was not sure. I just did not want to believe that any person could do this to another. I called Julius back.

“What should I do?” I asked him.

“Nothing for now because they are having an investigation. I doubt very much they will grant either of you access. Please let it run it’s course!” he advised me. For men its easy to say that, it shows that they do not have children. Why was I now being punished for not having done anything. I told him that we can’t take this lying down because now it would seem the neglect is on our side if we failed to want to see our own son. When the conversation was over my sister came to my room and said that we could not leave Ruben there. This was the first time she had allowed Ruben to be considered as someone worthy of coming here.

“If we do then we are allowing for him to be abused!” she argued.

“Judith, Rueben was always coming here. Our worry should be for Amo. The whole reason why they have both boys is because they want to see how best they will be assimilated into our homes!” I reminded her.

“And you think I was going to allow this to happen. I was going to kidnap Amo the moment they took him. I know where they stay!” she said. She was not smiling and funny as she sounded I knew she was not bluffing. Amo had really mellowed my sister. At times it was hard to recognise this new side to her. This was longest time she had gone with her natural hair colour, no piercing nor us looking for her.

“You are starting nursing soon so you have something to look forward too!” I reminded her. Eish. She did not want to hear that but I loved teasing her over it.

“So what? I will still take him with me there!” she said defiantly and we laughed. This was not a laughing matter. My mom was still quiet. She liked these disappearing stunts of hers. Eventually I went to bed without seeing her.

In the morning when I woke up to get ready she was up as well. She said she ended up going to pay her condolences. One of her former colleagues passed away. Nurses die bathong, I think in my life my mother had buried over 50. Its like teachers. I told her what Julius had said. She was shocked and said she was very concerned. She offered to drive me to work since I was late and I accepted. I was not looking forward to this day yet again.

“I am glad you are early!”

My boss said when I entered. He said the PA was not coming in today so he asked me to do her duties. I was more than glad too because it meant I would not be sitting next to Lunga and his questions. I had to make coffee and tea which sucked otherwise I was not disturbed much of the morning.

“Faith, in my office please!” my boss said around eleven. I took a paper and pen, ready to dictate any notes he had for me. As I sat down he closed the door. It was a lot of calls that had to be made and appointments. There was a business convention that weekend and he had to make sure that everything was in order. His PA would only be back next week meaning I had to do the job for that long. I was starting to regret this. My boss I must say was quite an impressive man when he was working. We got through a lot of the things. Before I left he dropped his first bombshell,

“How is Aurelia?” he asked me. All of a sudden it felt as though he had sucked the air out of the room.

“I don’t think we should be discussing her with all that has happened.” I reminded him as I stood up.

“You are the only one who can tell me. Did she at least get back to Durban okay?” he asked me. I am ashamed to admit that yesterday I got so busy I did not even check on her. I told him that she did and asked if we could please not talk about her because I was scared of his wife.

“Ain’t we all scared! That woman is terrifying! Where everyone else see the rose in the flower I see the thorns and feel them too!” he said and slumped into his chair. Now here was an unhappy man. Why stay married if you are unhappy? I can never understand men honestly. There was no reason to suffer like this! I left the office quickly before he could ask me anything else.

I was compelled to call her now though. I was curious how things had gone.

“I got home okay!” she told me but she sounded tired.

“I have to try and rebuild my life somehow but when I was at Mooi River putting petrol I met this man who was test driving his new Porsche Cayenne. He bought me lunch and said if I wanted a job he had one ready for me!”

She said laughing. Had she forgotten that she had broken one family? What was she thinking.

“That’s a bad idea Aurelia!” I warned her immediately. Beautiful girls seem to have these men lined up waiting to serve them when one falls off the wagon. Its amazing really. If I was a clever business person I would offer such services, where I’d round up these sugar-daddy-loving girls and assign them to men for a price. A dating service.

“No that’s a bad idea!” I told her.

“Of course its a bad idea but I need all the contacts I can get. For a long time I focused on Lunga, now I need to do things on my own. This falling in love business is for losers!” she said. Its so weird that she would say that because I fell in love, look where it got me. I updated her on everything with Amo and Rueben. It was like I last saw her long ago. There was much to talk about.

“Has he asked me about me yet?” she asked me.


Really? What is wrong with these people really? Don’t they learn anything.

“No he hasn’t. He is planning a gala dinner with his wife over the weekend.”

I told her. I obviously lied. I am a good friend, in every sense.

“Oh!” she said. She actually sounded disappointed. I know I can’t stop her from calling him but as far as I could I was not going to be the go between for them. The conversation turned a bit sombre after that so we said our goodbyes.

When I knocked off there was Thulare waiting for me. I think I had actually lost interest in him. For some reason my heart did not leap anymore when I saw him. He had a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates with him.

“What’s this for?” I asked him.

“I don’t what I did but lately you don’t call me or reply my messages. I just wanted to say I am sorry for whatever it is I did and I will work on it!” he said sweetly. It’s amazing hey, when a woman does not want a man anymore he can do the most amazing things and it won’t help.

“It’s nothing you did love. With everything that has been happening I just have not had time!” I tried to explain. I was not sure whether to walk into his car or not as I was not yet invited into it.

“I know and I don’t mean to be insensitive. At one point I thought we were dating but I feel you want us to drift!” he said. He was being honest, I had not done enough lately but I was so pre-occupied with my own problems he was not one of them.

“I am sorry. I will try to be better. Now that they have taken Amo I don’t know what to do!” I said trying to change the topic. This was awkward enough as it was.

“They took Amo?” he asked me. I told him the whole story. He listened attentively and at the end was when he spoke.

“Love, I am so sorry, I really am sorry that I put my problems before yours. This is hectic. But is Julius not helping though?” he asked me very concerned about what was going on. Thulare was genuine and that’s what made him a good man.

“Let me drive you home!” he offered. I did not refuse and besides I needed to think.

As we drove out he said,

“I am so relieved. I thought you had dumped me and honestly I don’t think I wanna live without you! We should get married!”

Just like that!

******The End*******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading this and the work you do. We appreciate it a lot.  I’m sorry for an essay….

I am in a relationship with an amazing man who takes a good care of his daughter and love her dearly. I am 27 and his 37 and we are happy together. We met November 2014 and I feel like I’ve been with him my whole life.Years back while at varsity I fell pregnant and did an abortion because my father is abusive, alchoholic and we were struggling. I wanted to finish school and be something so that I could take care of my family which I am currently doing. I didn’t want my kids to live like I did, struggling and so on. I’ve been so miserable and blamed my self for the decisions I took. But what is done is done I can’t change it.Now I am permanently employed and can afford to have a baby but my boyfriend doesn’t wanna hear any of it. He says we should wait. I understand him since he fought so hard with his baby mama before he won the custody of the child.I don’t want to undo the past. I’m  so ready and can afford one. I don’t want to leave him I love him so much and would like him to father my child but waiting for 3 years batho ba Modimo? Aowa hle lena . I’ve started buying baby magazines, each and every new born around me ke nna o ka di presents. The sad part is I sometimes cry uncontrollably and it scares him so much and I developed a sad feeling in my heart that makes me unhappy and it breaks my heart. I’ve tried talking to him but ai I can’t force him. I think I am going crazy. Is this punishment for all the bad decisions I made in the past? Is this normal? Ending it its an option but starting all over its another piece job.How can I make him understand and agree to this?  


13 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter 146

  1. Mom you did not get enough counselling after your abortion you have to do it again, it’s an if thing which is still in your mind. But if your boyfriend is not ready to have a baby at the moment put your love to his daughter and is he will see how much of a parent you are and will come around of you both having a baby but maybe he wants to out a ring on it first before you have a baby focus on that first.

  2. Mom I feel for you but at the same time I think you must try and understand where he is coming from,because you don’t want to push him and end up losing him,hang in there.

  3. Ok for Thulare and Faith to decide to stay in this relationship is just creepy, their parents are siblings for goodness sake!!! Mhhh disgusting…

    Mom please try to forgive yourself for the abortion. I may be wrong but to me it seems like you are desperate to have a child now to try and replace the one you aborted. Unfortunately that is not going to fix your problems. Falling pregnant now while you are going through all these emotions is not going to be a good idea. Sort yourself out first, go for counselling and learn to live with the decisions you made in the past.

  4. You definitely need more counselling, an abortion has the same effect on a women as a miscarriage. Most women after a miscarriage want to replace what is now gone, which I think is what you want to do. Go speak to someone because maybe you have not totally forgiven yourself and by having a baby now it will make up for the guilt and pain. Have another baby for the right reasons.

  5. Around 27 I also felt kinda broody, but if your boyfriend ain’t ready then I suggest you go for counselling. Chances are he learnt his lesson and wants to do things the right way.
    What if the next person you meet ends up being a dead beat…I suggest you wait. My solution was I started volunteering at an orphanage where my maternal skills were sublimated and my thirst for caring for others was quenched. Eventually things fell into place.

  6. Thanks Mikeesto, This incestuous situation between these two bothers me some… but ke singathini, it happens in real life, didn’t we get a letter stating such about shag affairs not so long ago…. Kuyagwetywa straight up.

    Mom, You are financially stable, you are 27 and not getting any younger. I can’t seem to understand why your aging bf can’t get that. Your clock is ticking and so is his, why procrastinate something you desire so much? Lest we forget that your Father was no good and gave you bad experiences. Is it so wrong for you to want your own little nana to care and love so much that all the bad experience of your whack dad will disappear? I think not sisi.

    Your man needs to understand that he is your man, therefore needs to cater for your needs. Ngabe ngyezwa if he was 27 and saying he don’t want to be having a second child now, but come on this guy is chasing Forty and prostate cancer possibilities galore. Lendoda must stop avoiding the inevitable, if he don’t want to marry you and thinks you will trap him with the child then akashiye indawo kwamanje. Sisi just get yourself a baby, there are sperm banks even, mention that to him and see how he reacts. Ayikho fair indaba yokuthi just because you had an abortion you must get counselling when you want a child, that was many years ago and it was for a valid flippin reason. Ake sime kancance ngama shrink and focus on the issue at hand which affects you on a grass-root level, you need a baby.

    The question is, is your current bf going to be your baby daddy or should you start looking elsewhere. Khumbula ke that you don’t need him, you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. If he thinks you wanna trap him or its gonna cost him, akathathe ama custody issues akhe and loop weg.


  7. Dear Mom
    You and him want different things. I think you have spoken to him and him watching you cry about wanting a baby is not fair on you at all. Put yourself first and find someone whose dreams are in line with yours. Don’t give your current be any ultimatum just be honest with the truth, you want different things and putting your dreams on hold for the sake of a bf is not a wise move. You cannot count on the future, what if you carry on dating 3 years down the line he is still not ready? Or worse doesn’t want other children?

    A man knows who he loves and wants to marry from the get go. I have been in the same situation as you but with my ex it was him refusing to get an education. I’m now 27 pregnant with my first after dating my graduated man for only two months. When he knows he knows. Go for someone who does not have children preferably.


  8. i dont think its wise to try and talk someone into being any of these two things, a spouse and a parent. Those are lifetime commitments that each person must make when they feel ready to take up the responsibility. If he is truly against it, respect his wishes lest he turns on you later on. That being said, i dont think you are trying to replace the lost baby. To me it seems you made a decision about the abortion having thoroughly considered your position back then and now you want a child having thoroughly considered your position. I dont believe you will ever forget your lost child even if you have five more. You are a mature adult it sounds, ready for a baby, i am just not sure who you will have the baby with…. but to me you sound ready….

  9. mom I think I would feel the same way if I was ur age but plz remember this…everything happens 4 a reason n when God says yes no one can say no…hang in there bcoz ur tym is just here

  10. Relationships/marriages like a car need oil (compromise/understanding) & petrol (love).
    I feel yo crying cud mean a lot of unresolved issues perhaps yo regret for abortion but I’m sho it’s not to emotionally blackmail yo partner to have a baby wth U.
    Yo man shud not be jst watching U cry if he loves U. He shud find the reason(s) why & try to help U. If he cannot compromise to yo needs as well as U do to his, then UR betting on a dying horse to win the race

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *