Rumblings – Chapter 144

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

When you go to sleep at night you want to have nice dreams or not dream at all. You want to be at peace because when you are rested you think better. Unfortunately for me, I did not have that luxury. My world had been falling apart for a long time now, its not just now with Amo. If ever someone told you that growing up was a good thing, take a tjambok and moer that person because they lied to you. Growing up is a trap. There is nothing nice about it. Some will tell you that if you get a good job you will live happily every after. That’s a lie. Realistically how many people have a good job? How many people are happy in those jobs? Yet, before they even get there they must be grateful first that they have the job in the first place. That’s what growing up is about, responsibilities, and that word is a noose around our necks. What’s worse is that in your twenties you are often trying to position yourself to succeed because once you hit 30, start praying you win the lotto otherwise you join the miserable crowd. I did not sleep well at all.

Early in the morning around 5am Aurelia woke me up to say she was leaving. Talk about leaving under cover of darkness. This incident had really shaken her to the core and I doubt she would be back any time soon. If this was Botswana she would be in jail that’s for sure. In South Africa you move on to go destroy the next marriage. Nobody cares about the family structure anymore because often even the wife is blamed for not satisfying her husband. It’s like she is a circus animal that must entertain him and do tricks to keep him entertained. As I watched her drive away I could not help but feel disgusted by all this. When we are young females, we are probably against consequences but when you are my mother’s age and something like this happens you find that they would want some sort of revenge. I felt sorry for Refiloe. I really did. Yes her husband had cheated and it was his fault but take a moment to think what it must have felt like finding all these truths. I was devastated after breaking up with Mudenda, hearing he was with my friend, not to talk of her being under the same roof.

“Aurelia said thank you and bye!” I told my mother when she woke up. She was working the evening shift meaning she will be in during the morning.

“I wanted to give her money for fuel, you should have woken me up!” she said a bit annoyed at me. She should have said something last night so I would have known instead of just blowing up.

“I want to start early today. We need help on the Amo thing and I don’t trust that lawyer of yours. He is too young, we need someone older and more mature to take the case!” she told me. I did not agree with it. Juju was doing fine so far.

“But mum things are moving. Give him a week or two and let’s see what we can achieve first!”

I asked her but my mother was a person whom once her mind was made up she was hard to convince.

“Will you be okay at work today or do you want to go and resign?” she asked me what must have been a trick question because she knew truly well I could not resign without first getting a new job. I told her I will see how the day goes. When I left for work it felt like I got there so fast. I did not want to be there.

“I am glad you came. The boss was in a bad mood yesterday. Honestly I can’t take this man’s moods anymore. I need a new job!” Orapeleng said as we walked in. I guess she was setting me up for the mood in the office. Everyone will be tense that’s for sure. I was certain it had nothing to do with work because what was happening in his own home. Everyone was early too and behind their desks. It was not even time yet so I guess whatever had happened yesterday had been a great motivation.

“Orapeleng how do I change desks from where I am sitting?” I asked her. We were in an open plan yes but I did not want to sit next to Lunga anymore.

“You are assigned a desk and besides I thought you were cool with Lunga what’s up?” she asked me.

“I just don’t want to sit next to me. We had a fight and unfortunately we can’t be in the same space!” I explained without reveal too much. She said she will look into but was definitely not promising as this will lead to gossip in the office. I think I could survive the gossip for now I just wanted peace.

“Good morning!” Lunga said as I sat down next to him. I mumbled my good morning as well and put my head down. It was clear I did not want to talk to him and he felt it too. Thank heavens the boy was respectful enough to honour that. About an hour into the day Orapeleng came back to me.

“Eish I was enquiring about you shifting places and the boss overhead. He threw a tantrum about us doing whatever we want with his company. Now he wants you and Lunga in the boardroom right now! I am in trouble thanks to you!” she said and walked away. She was unhappy. This was not going to go well I felt. Lunga overhead the conversation and stood up first without saying anything. When I got to the boardroom the secretary was clearing some things. She greeted us both then left. Now it was just him and me. Unlike his noble stance earlier Lunga decided to talk to me!

“You probably think I am some devil!” he said to me when we were left alone. What did he want me to say?

“Please don’t involve me. I don’t want to lose my job. I want to keep my head low and just live my life!” I told him.

“There is nobody here! You can talk to me. I want to explain what happened!” he pleaded with me. This was not happening. Was he looking for absolution and closure telling me. They had destroyed my friend. The revenge was done so we move on.

“It’s not necessary Lunga. I understand you did the right thing and supported your mother!” I snapped at him, hoping he would just keep quiet as we waited for his father.

“You were not fired because I asked my father not to. I told him you had nothing to do with it and that you had often begged us to stop. Even Aurelia begged them. My mother asked her what role you played in this and she defended you.” he told me. Why was he telling me this? Was he trying to softed me up so he can then drive the same knife he had used to betray Aurelia into my back.

“So you have asked to moved?” he asked me referring to Orapeleng.

“What do you expect me to do? This is not some game for me. It’s my job or I am out. How do you think your father let alone your mother will feel seeing us together? Come on now Lunga grow up!”

Before he could answer his father walked in as though he was in a rush.

“Okay I want to be brief. So much has happened amongst us in the last couple of days. Faith you are obviously not family but you were part of this. I won’t fire you. You have done nothing wrong and your advice fell on deaf ears. Lunga, I wanted to send you to Durban but I am certain that’s were Aurelia is so if this happens your mother will kill us both. You are however both on probation. I want results from you both and Lunga there will be no favouritism. You are my son but I can’t trust you, and Faith you are his friend so you fall under the same sword. That’s it!”

He stood up and walked out without even giving us a chance to talk. We sat there for a good five minutes without saying a word before Lunga said,

“I know you are angry at me but we really need to talk. Shit went down last night at home!” he said. Why was he insisting on talking to me.

“Okay fine you have five minutes. What is it?” I asked him.

“My mother and father had a big physical fight. When I tried to join my mother started hitting me saying that I knew all along. I never told her that. Did you?” he was questioning me.

“How could I possibly say that to her? I never said anything to her.” he did not seem to believe me. He told me that he had been asked to find a place to stay but his parents won’t be separating. I was a bit surprised, what was Refiloe up to? I thought this was enough for her to pack her bags and leave. She was not the type to stick around for bullshit so she had to be up to something. As he was saying all this in entered his mother.

“Don’t run away. Sit down, let’s talk!” she said to me. I really did not want to be here.

“You can go Lunga I don’t need you!” she said to him very coldly. He stood up and walked out.

“I am sorry we came to your house yesterday. That was wrong and presumptuous of us!” she said. Damn right it was but why would she be apologising to me. In her eyes and in mine she owed me nothing.

“Please do me a favour, tell Aurelia when you speak to her that I have already had my revenge on her. I won’t do more. What I have done she can’t reverse! She does not know it yet, none of them do but it is done and there will be no turning back!” she said and smiled. That was not a warm smile, it was a cold one and I could sense that whatever she had done was going to be bad.

“How is your baby? Do you have him at home now?” she asked me changing the subject. The way she just switched subjects was again quite uncanny. I told her what was happening with Amo, I did not lie.

“Again I am sorry to hear that. I will keep him in my prayers. As long I am alive my husband will not fire you. You helped me a lot and am forever grateful.” she said and stood up. I stood up as well and she came over and hugged.

It felt like I was betraying Aurelia as I was hugging the devil. She left.

Ten minutes later in walked Mudenda and …

You’ve got to be kidding me!


Could this day get any worse!

******The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I am a 23 year old lady from Pretoria. I have a two year old baby boy and her father left me when I was pregnant. At the the time of the break up I was a second year in university. He is 30 now and has a good job etc. He refused to pay maintenance at first and demanded a DNA test which he paid for. The baby was his and he has not stopped paying since. In the two years he has seen his son once but I don’t mind. The problem is, he got engaged recently to another church going lady. This woman insists on being my friend. By some miracle we work a road away from each other and as soon as she discovered this every two days she comes to my work place. I find this weird and some of my friends are saying she is just being nice. She wants to meet my baby and says that whether my ex wants it or not, we are family! I am a bit scared that she might harm my child. Even my mother is against it. She is super nice and says that she told my ex that unless he creates a relationship with his son she will not have babies by him? Is that even normal?

Please advise me before I take a wrong decision.

Thank You


24 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter 144

  1. PTA, I really don’t see anything wrong with that, in fact that’s what people should be doing but because we are used to the bad we don’t think its normal. Just embrace her, at least she is encouraging your ex to have a relationship with his son. Most women will make sure your son is cut off completely, you are one of the lucky few.

  2. Hi Pta maybe the lady is just being plain genuine. Dont read too much into it. Singabantu abanyama siyathanda uthakathwa. Let me tell you a little story about me.

    My dad has 19 kids, I know its too much, he is a chief. He has been married 2 times before he married my current step mother. I met my step mom when I was 8 when I visited my grans house. She was a very nice lady and when I went back home I told my mom about her and that she was super nice.

    My step mom was heavily pregnant when I met her so one day after doing her own little research about my mom she went to find my moms workplace,(mom owned a salon back then) bought lunch and asked if she can sit there while having her lunch. She spent the whole day chatting to mom and before she left she introduced herself as my step mom. She told my mom that she had met me and she thought that I was a very nice well behaved girl and she wanted me to have a relationship with my dad, all my dads kids to have a relationship with him.

    My mom being the kind of a woman she is told her how she appreciated that. To cut the long story short when she got home she sat me down and told me my step moms wishes. Told me that when I visit I should respect and love her, that she had nothing to do with their breakup and its none of my business what happened between her and my dad, what really mattered is that they both love me.

    So my point here is that there are still good genuine women out there. I would also do the same because I can never be comfortable marrying a man that rejects their own blood.

    Pray about this. Sorry for the long comment. Anyway this is my first comment ever

  3. heish… if Faith was in Botswana her name would be Kedibone… “im seeing” in her case dust!!! she needs dibata (bath) this child!!!

  4. Hi Mike

    Thank you for the wonderful work you do. @ PTA my boyfriend has 2 kids from previous relationships, the 1 child he supports and the other he didn’t support(he claimed that the mother was using the baby to get to him and because the baby stays far from him so he won’t see that she uses the money for the child). But since we started dating I make sure that he supports his kids, I don’t talk to any of his baby mamas and the reason for this is I know how hard and painful it is to raise a kid on your own, I am a single mother as well. So the reason why I am telling you this is because she might not have the intentions of harming your child, I say give her a chance but at the same time don’t trust her too much.

  5. Thanks Mikeesto, the next 3days are gonna be torture while waiting for Tuesday’s post…

    Kanti iphi indaba ka berry juice…. was waiting so long…

    PTA, appreciate another woman loving your child, not everyone has ulterior motives. I know our society is going to hell but there are some angels amongst us in this inferno of doom. (Cutting Edge broke my heart last night).


    1. and hopefully papasukiri o ntse a becha hard otherwise… you will be on the first page ya The Voice looking sad cos you are headed to Jail!!! or ko kgotleng o ye go shapiwa ke kgosi!!! #BotswanaWeDontPlay

  6. PTA you are one lucky lady. My baby daddy used to never see the kid or maintain until he started seeing his current girlfriend. Not only does he support but he sees the child almost every 2 days. He is involved and has become the dad I knew he could always be. I am grateful to his girlfriend because he is the bestest dad in the world and my child loves him, My point is not every woman has bad intentions, embrace her and appreciate that she is in his life because through her, your child will finally have a dad.

  7. Thank Mike and Team….Eish uTiesday wakude nyani

    Was really hoping and crossing fingers we gonna be juicing out the Berries today lol. I shall wait though.

    JackZorro my guy, I slept with a heavy heart izolo kanti what is happening in this world we live in?? What has possesed people to do such horrendeous and evil things to another?? Hay man kuBird mos uba kunje…..

    PTA: You will need to give this woman a chance and see what her intentions are. Not every woman resents a baby mama is people believe Baby Mama’s are full of drama. I would not marry a guy who is rejecting his child either. So build a relationship with her and see how it goes. Dont be too trusting though and let your gaurd down but dont be too quick to be suspicious either. Not everyone is as bad.

    She is right in saying you guys are family and need to have some kind of a relationship for the sake of the kids.

    So give her a chance and see how it plays out.

    All the best sisi….


  8. Hi lady from Pretoria. my husband has a child with another lady way before we met. Now that lady used to trouble me with her babymama drama. I am a forgiving person and I always made sure I don’t entertain her attitude. she eventually grew tired. I made the 1st move to talk to her and be nice to her. I told her that I am her child’s stepmother, whether she likes it or not so she better change her attitude. we now have a nice relationship going on,we are not friends yes,but have an understanding for the sake of the child. I see nothing wrong with this lady’s attitude. she is clearly not a bad person. my husband’s baby mama once asked me why im always nice,and I said its because it costs nothing to be nice.

  9. Nice one Mike
    If faith was rich white girl, she would have heart palpitation or those condition nje that as darkie we never get. people be like gerara here idla ipanado uzoba right

  10. I am loving this comments oh so much because am faced with the same dilemma, I have always wondered if I should confront babymama or not as I can see that hubby is not taking any action regarding the baby. So, am preparing myself to meet her and tell her how I feel because I have so much love for that child and we are being deprived if her because babymama is bitter over a four years back bitterness. Thank you for your comments guys.

  11. PTA I am 1 of those who tried my outmost best to reach out to the mother of my husband’s kids just to have a relationship with her in raising the kids, she just didn’t trust me at all. 1 day she was ok with us having kids, the next she doesn’t want with the kids and she would tell me that she doesn’t trust me, to an extent that we now no longer see the kids often (twice a year) and we stay same township, its sad for the kids. give her a chance.

  12. Hayi uFaith nguNongxaki. Drama follows her she’s a magnet… PTA; just give the lady a chance, she just wants a smooth sailing for the sake of everyone n I’d surely want that if I was in her shoes. Not everyone has hidden agenda but js keep it between the kid n dnt be too trusting about ur personal stuff

  13. I think she’s just being genuinely nice. I’ve been telling my boyfriend that he shouldn’t bother going to see my family before he pays inhlawulo for her 6 year old daughter because the child’s grandfather doesn’t want him to see the child because of that despite that he pays maintenance. But I wouldn’t be friends with the child’s mother, in fact I want my boyfriend to communicate with the grandmother only since the child lives with the grandmother and not her mother. I have no business loving my boyfriend’s exes, but he needs his child in his life. He is now rushing for us to have a baby because he wants to have a child he can raise himself to compensate for this one, I think he needs to build a relationship with this child first before we can have kids together.

  14. I also refused to have a baby with my ex. Dated for 5 years and everytime I had to drag him to buy things for his son. I told him that we can only have a child if he supports his child full time. Guess what. He failed dismally. And guess what? 5 years later he has 2 more kids(3 in total). And he is still the same irresponsible drunkard and the mother of the kids doesn’t have a career or a job. I seriously don’t understand how are we wired as women

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