Realities – Chapter 103

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Are grown women even allowed to have crushes? I mean in society men can date younger women and no one cares. All he has to do is be divorced or single and no one cares. He stops being a sugar daddy that very moment. A woman on the other hand must not dare look at a younger man because all of a sudden its taboo and disgusting. Funny enough it is not even men that perpetuate that stereotype but other women! We just love to oppress ourselves because if truth be told, it’s easier to accuse each other than to accuse men hence we find ourselves fighting the same battle we have been fighting for centuries. We are not allowed to own our own emotions and choices because another woman will come and say how it’s not traditionally correct. That’s the problem, we can be feminists all we want but unless we fix us as women we are fighting battles we will never solve as some will always be collaborators.

I can’t believe I just said all that to justify my crush on this young man. He could not stay here!

“Simon, that’s your name right, let’s talk!” my husband said and they went outside. Sizwe liked this thing of taking people under his wing. Simon would not be the first young person he would be trying to mentor.

“Mommy he is so hot!” Lintle said when saw me staring at him. I was so embarrassed I walked away to the bedroom. I needed to rest. I had been suspended because of her. In a short space of time she had managed to turn all our lives upside down. This is one of the reasons that you don’t have one child. Yes you will love them to death but you end up spoiling them. It’s not like you have a choice because all your focus is on them. It’s not something you do on purpose.

“Mom can I talk to you please?”

Lintle said when she knocked and still at the door.

“Yes come in!” I said. I was removing my jewellery and make up. I did not look up at her.

“Dad says you got in trouble because of me and I wanted to say I am sorry for that!” she said, humble and contrite. With a teenager you never know how much truth there is to what they say but I was not going to be mean about it.

“It’s fine my dear. I will sort it out. What did you achieve with your father today?”

I asked her. There was too much hostility in this house so I needed to diffuse it a little bit. We could not live like we were in a prison and constantly at each others necks.

“We went to school. There a few papers he needed to sign. We forwarded my academic transcript and they were happy with it.” she explained.

“You know we are not sending you to boarding school because we don’t love you!” I started telling her.

“I know mom I understand why.” she said sweetly. Lintle is never this sweet unless she wants something. I know my child all too well. She was up to something It will only be a matter of time before we found out why. I was not going to ask her because I will only be told lies.

“Mom can I ask you something?” she said.

“Sure ask?”

“How did you and dad meet?” she asked me. What the fuck? Told you she was up to something.

“It was long time ago. Your father was the hottest guy in my neighbourhood and he had eyes only for me.” I said. I was being dismissive but when I said that it took me back to once upon a time when I was young and carefree. It now felt like it was so long ago. How did things get so bad though?

“I can’t picture dad hot though?” she said and laughed. What was this kid saying about my husband.

“Did you wear short dresses and shorts?” she asked me.

“Where is this going Lintle?” I asked her.

“I just want to see if we have any similarities. You never smile and you hardly ever want to try anything new!” she accused me.

“Are you saying I am boring?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

“Nope, I am not. Let’s go shopping so I can dress you up like you are young again. You want to get old so fast!” she said. I can’t believe this child. She was in trouble as was but she was already negotiating shopping. That’s what she was after. She knew the decision for her going to boarding school was already made and final meaning she wanted new clothes.

“So all this was about me taking you shopping?” I asked her.

She looked down at her feet. She had been busted. Parents know their children but the children don’t seem to acknowledge this.

“No mom I just wanted to…” she said with a lump in her throat.

“I would have taken you shopping had you just come and asked but because you went round and round in circles trying to trick me. what should I do?” I asked her. She sat down on my bed with a stupid look on her face. I did not shout at her. I wanted her to find the answers for herself hence why I handled it like this.

“I am sorry mom. I just don’t know how to talk to you anymore. It’s like in your eyes I am always up to something. Even to ask for pocket money I am too scared. When last did I ask you?” she asked me. She had again managed to turn it on me and it’s true, I can’t recall the last time I gave her pocket money because often she would ask for it. She had stopped asking and I had never actually realized.

“Is it my fault though?” I asked her.

“No am not saying that it is. Things are just not the same between us and I thought us shopping together may be a way to smoothen things between us. I will be leaving soon and I don’t want us to to part like this!” she said, sounding more mature than me. She had cornered me into saying yes because after that little speech saying no would have been an injustice.

“Okay go change so we can go!” I said and she gave a fist pump as she walked away. I was not too sure about this decision but she was right on us trying to find a solution. I also needed a pick me up.

I went downstairs to my husband who was watching TV now. With all these shenanigans happening in parliament I was not surprised what he was watching.

“This country is falling apart if we allow such rubbish!” se said as soon as I walked in. I followed politics but was never too interested in it. We all know we are being lied to yet again and again we allow it.

“What did you discuss with that boy?” I asked him. I did not want to call him Simon lest my husband question how come I knew his name so fast when I was already so bad with names.

“Oh, I wanted to hear what he wants to achieve. He can’t just come to Jhb to look for a job blindly. He has to have something he wants to do!” my husband said.

“Did you see his results though? He is pretty smart!” I said. He said he had and that he was going to introduce him to some of his friends and see if anyone was willing to risk and give him a job.

“Problem with having only a matric certificate is that even if you get a job, you will be underpaid and mistreated!” he said without taking his eyes off the TV and again he was right. I don’t have much respect for colleges either but it’s better than nothing.

“Mom I am ready!”

Lintle said as she stepped into the room. She was wearing very short shorts and though they didn’t show her bum her father and I immediately said,

“You not going anywhere dressed like that!” we said it at the same time. She knew we didn’t allow her to dress like that but lately she was all about pushing boundaries. I did not even buy her those shorts but then again I did not know all her clothes. When she goes to boarding school I was going to make sure I packed for her.

“Are you guys for real though? This is not the 1950s!” she complained as she went back upstairs.

“She will be the death of us!” her father said.

“Where are you going?” he said looking me up and down. I told him that we were going to do a bit of shopping.

“Can I have your bank card?” I asked him. I had money but often he complained that I never let him shop for us. He sat up and he took it out of his wallet.

“Just know that if you over shop I will call the bank to say my card has been stolen!” he said and we laughed. Lintle came back dressed a bit more conservative. She went straight to the car.

“Which mall do you want mum?” hhe asked.

“I think Rosebank.” I told her.

I loved it because it was such a relaxed mall and always felt like it was open and spacious. Sandton City just puts too much pressure on you, they have beautiful things yes but also needed the budget. Fourways Mall is too congested, the shops are too many in what seems a small space. Cresta has too many students and rather childish for me whilst Melrose Arch is full of pretenders and people that think they are better than other blacks which is why it was Rosebank for me!

“I am hungry though mom can’t we grab a bite first before we shop!” she asked as we got into parking. I agreed with her as I too was starving. I made her pick the restaurant. We wanted to sit outside as it was quite warm and as we sat down I asked for a glass of water. Lintle had the menu in her hand and suddenly she stopped.

“Mum we have to go!” she said in a hissing whisper.

“What do you mean we have to go? We haven’t even eaten?” I asked surprised by her sudden change of heart.

“I am full now. I will eat at home.” she said, already standing up to leave.

“Lintle you are embarrassing us come on!” I said a bit annoyed.

“Mum please…”

I could see she kept on looking to her right so I looked to see what it was she was looking at. There was a man walking towards us and a few people but I was not sure.

“So we meet at last!”

The man I had noticed coming towards us said when he got to us.

I would know that voice from anywhere.

It was Python!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for the books. I enjoy reading them a lot. When are you publishing the others because I want the whole collection.

I am from Kimberly and I am 28 years old. I have been dating a married man now for three years. Kimberly is a small town and his wife found out early on. She confronted me and I broke up with him. I tried to stay away from him but something always drew us back together. Now I am pregnant with his child at the same time his wife is also pregnant. I got a new job in Pretoria without telling him. I am thinking its best I leave without telling him. I can’t stay away from him so I might as well run away. His wife has been trying to have kids for years and I think I have outstayed my welcome. I get it, I am bad for being with him but try loving someone first to understand why walking away is not easy. I have the resources to raise my child alone.

Is it wise though not to tell him and just disappear?

Thank You


32 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter 103

  1. Thank you Abut Mike.
    Lebo: I don’t have any advice for you. Do what is best for you.

    Lately, every woman I encounter is having an affair with a married man. What is it with this married men?

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome start.

    Lebo shiya indawo sisi and don’t tell him anything. Nyatsis and babies is just homicides waiting to happen i tell you. Remember that she already confronted you, coming out with your pregnancy would just be disrespect of the worst kind.

    Your child will want one day need his father, for now it’s just foetus, so let things go easily. I can’t understand why you went back there after the wife confronted you. Go to Tshwane and hopefully you will meet a guy who will want to be with you and your child, a man that will be your ‘own’.


  3. Lebo what you did was pure disrespect, I dnt understand why girls date married men and justify it as love. The moment you cross boundaries and date a married men, disaster is always bound to happen. How dd it go as far as you having his baby after the wife confronted you?. If you run away what would you tell your child abt how she was concieved and are you as a woman planning to ever get married? If so remember “Kamar is a bitch”, no sins go unpunished. However the ball is in your court on this one but if you stay. You will destroy their marriage

  4. Yoh Lebo

    Ghel.. don’t do it. it may seem easy and yes you have the resources to do it on your own, but you shouldn’t have to. i think we have enough single parents on earth and believe it or not, that man has a right to know. Also think about your child, what will you tell him/her the day he/she asks about their father? c’mon now. and surely your family will want to know who got you pregnant.
    Fact of the matter is that man knew what he was signing himself up for sleeping with you without protection.. ey le wena, a married tja.. my heart bleeds for the wife. Goodluck.

  5. Going to Pretoria is the best option right now. I think if you are worried he will try and get you to stay then move to Pretoria and tell him once you are there about the child. Every child deserves to know their parents I grew up without my father its a really painful thing. So he deserves to know and one day your child will want to know about their father. Try watching Khumbule Khaya and see how much pain and grief these kids go through looking for their fathers. Focus on the future and focus on becoming a better person. Stay away from married men they hardly leave their families for a girl friend. Remember humans hardly forgive but God’s love covers a multitude of sins. Seek him and he will forgive you, his forgiveness is all you need. All the best.

  6. I agree with Child of God. Dont deny the child a relationship with his or her father. But at the same time don’t do any further damage to this man’s marriage. Stay away and only see him when you are dropping the child off. Don’t forget about karma so now you need to work on making things right for yourself and the baby

  7. Python is the devil……..

    Lebo, you were wrong to date a married man and he was wrong to date you, he was never yours to love in the first place hence the connection was not strong enough for him to leave his wife for you. The wife has been wronged and chances are she won’t forgive easily, so yes for now you can remove yourself from the situation till things calm down. The unfortunate part is that when children are involved everybody must suck it up and do what is best for the children because they didn’t ask to be part of this situation and this includes the scorned wife. Kunzima ukuba uNkosikazi wendoda engadlulwa sketi.

  8. Is it just me or is Mike doing some research with him always aligning the letters with the chapter mhhhhh *pondering*

    Anywhooo…Lebo sisi…uzenzile akakhalelwa…you knew the man was married but you had a relationship with him…the wife confronts you but still you carry on..Now ufuna umntana bantu athini??? Going to Pretoria is an interim solution, what will you tell your child in a few years to come when she/he wants to know uTata khe????

    I dont understand this dating a married man thing…is it a new trend now??

    Hay inene


  9. If you knew he was married then that is the lowest thing you would ever do,thats so low and impulsive and now you want to bring an innocent soul in this world and deny him?her a father nah girl get your life

  10. Some of you need to realize, not everyone who reads this blog is Christian. So basing all your advice on “God” and religious rationalizations doesn’t really help.

    1. True. You also need to realize that we dont believe in the same things. So me being a Christian does not mean I must now omit my Christian beliefs in my advice just because the person being advised might not be Christian. We give advise according to our beliefs and what we have experienced in life take that away and our advice is just for pleasing people I am not about that life. The person seeking for advice knows what they are looking for and they will take what they want and leave what they dont want. On the other hand the person might be a Christian…what then?

  11. Nice one Mikeesto

    One of the social science students (if you not busy striking) you have material for major assignment here. print all the letters, study and compile report on letters, stats based (age, sex, problem etc etc) and share with us.
    would be a interesting read.

  12. Mike – what became if the wife (Q & A) that had been caught in bed with a lover by her husbabd and twin daughters? Hope she’s still alive? Just curious nje…

  13. Lebo do not teach yourself to run away from the problem. Tell the guy about the pregnancy, obviously, you will find a way around it. yes the wife won’t be pleased about it but the is always light after a tunnel. It might be difficult to live at first, people will talk and all but it wont last long. by next year, this time, you will be living your life peacefully with your little one. being with him for 3 years means you love him and he loves you too. by hiding everything from him you are creating a long life problem. 1. You go to PTA and then have his baby without him knowing and then what? a baby has a right to know the father, what are you going to tell him/her? 2. You have an abortion and kill that innocent soul, what if it is your one and only child?….. Just tell the guy….. Enjoy your pregnancy #hugs

  14. People are just being judgemental. Lebo did not ask to be judged rather for advice as to what to do. She acknowledged that she was wrong. Some of you are all holier-than-thou as if you have never did any wrong. Women have some serious issues. Yena what was the married man thinking uma eshela uLebo?! It takes two to tango

  15. I never comment mara vandag I just had to. All you Miss/Mr/s righteous gaaning aan about how Lebo broke a marriage nywe nywe nywe! That marriage was broken before she came into da picture ngoba no husband/boyfriend who loves their partner would do anything to cause them pain so relax. Lebo, for now you are the one making decisions for da child you carrying, if going to Pta is good for you and bambino right now go sis. When the time comes ( which is still a while) you will review your decisions. There’s more involved than just married man/wife and your unborn child, there’s Lebo her goals dreams and ambitions so, do what works Lebo.
    I was raised by a single mom and I’ll go through it all over again than having mom maybe staying in a loveless abusive dramatic relationship. Children deserves a loving warm protective homes, doesn’t matter if both parents are there or not

  16. Dankie braMike.
    Every child deserves to know their parents. That doesn’t mean the parents have to be 2gether in holly matrimony. Less potential cases of Khumbul’ekhaya, Utatakho & Dating Yo Family where cousins date without knowing.
    I’m against abortion unless its extreme cases of rape etc.
    Lebo, Go to Pta as U don’t have to tell yo ex now but at a later stage make sure U do it tho. Tell somebody in yo family in case something were to happen. Enjoy yo joy of bundle and a fresh start. But don’t miss the lesson U got in the whole experience.

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