We all live in a world full of bullies. These are people who want to control you and rule you by fear no matter the size or power difference. America for example is forcing us to buy their health risk chickens when we are perfectly capable for producing our own. Irony is, there is not a single movie they have that depicts bullying that does not tell you that the best way to deal with a bully is to stand up to them. It’s like bullies get to make up rules as they please. They do whatever they want and you have to comply. Mthobisi was a fearsome man yes and I acknowledge but he did not own me. He was not America, the swine and if he for one moment thought I would prostitute myself for him he had another thing coming. What the hell? He really had balls of steel to ask me that? Was he crazy? I was even boiling with anger that he had even suggested that. You see as women, men treat us the way we allow them to treat us. We need to stand up more for ourselves and not wait for 16 Days of Activism nor wait for black twitter to come give us courage. How do you ask a grown married woman to pretend to be another man’s side dish? I loved myself too much for that and yes I would rather die first than do something so stupid.
“Hello uncle Mthobisi? How are you?” Lintle said sweetly went over and hugged him. She was the reason I was in this. Had I not asked for help in the rape thing I would never have been indebted to this man.
“Hello my sweetheart. How are you?” he greeted her back, “How was school?”
“It was great thanks but I’m tired. Why didn’t you bring Aunty Lee, it’s been a long time since I saw her last”. She had this ability of being too nice to people which meant she often overstayed her welcome.
“She is well and has been asking for you. You should come visit us soon. She has a trip to Dubai and has no one to go with. Maybe she will take you if you are good to your Mom!” he said and he tapped her on the shoulder. This devil. He was trying to lure my daughter. What is this Duabi nonsense though? It’s like South African women recently discovered that to be relevant you have to go to Dubai. Just go to Instagram and see how these kids think it makes them important to go there.
“Oh Mom, wow, can I go can I go please! I will do what ever you want! I swear!” she said jumping up and down. Really it is so easy to entice young girls into doing things. Their love for things is beyond mention. They can see girls being kidnapped and murdered but mention Dubai and it’s like you have said Jesus is waiting for them there!
“I will think about it dear, she has not asked you yet!” I said with a fake smile. He laughed as he walked out first saying bye to her. It was not even an awkward moment as I folded my hands across my chest. I was not going to give him the satisfaction. She was not going anywhere. She went upstairs immediately and as he drove away I watched him go. I prayed silently that this was the last time I ever had to deal with this man but deep down I knew he would try something. I needed help but I didn’t know where to turn just yet.
“Mom when is dad coming back because clearly we are not going to Bloemfontein?”
Lintle said to me from behind me. Goodness I had been so far away I did not even hear her come back down and I was still standing by the doorway.
“Repeat that please?” I asked her. I had actually not heard her clearly.
“Mom this will be the third time I will be asking you this in this one moment, what’s going on with you?” she asked me. I really had not heard her. I had so much on my mind unfortunately and it was not like I was doing it on purpose.
“I asked when daddy is coming back? There are some things he must sign for me for school!” she continued.
I looked at her straight in he eye and said, “Your father is not coming back. He packed all his things and left!”
She looked at me confused and in shock. She did not move. I did. I walked past her and went upstairs from where she had come. This time I broke down again. It was so hard trying to keep things together. Every bone in me was saying I must call him and beg him to come home but I knew at this moment, that was the wrong move. I told myself that he will find his way home eventually and I am not ashamed to say that when he does, the door will be wide open for him.
There was a knock on the door and I knew it was Lintle.
“I am sorry Mom. Are you ok?” she asked me and came to lie on the bed next to me. I did not reply her but she knew. She came and held me. This was the second time in a few days that my daughter was having to comfort me. You know as a mother, one of the fears we have in life is for our daughters to go through the same pain we have in life. We try to empower them and prepare them for this shit we call men, but its not easy. Usually we fail at it because men will always find a way to break you. I heard the door bell ring but Mapula was downstairs so I waited to hear from her, who it was. It could not be Mthobisi that’s for sure. I could hear the voices but it was not immediately clear who it was.
“Mama you have guests.” Mapula said when Lintle opened for her.
“Who is it?” I whispered, clearly annoyed and unwilling to go down.
“I don’t know them!” She responded.
“Can’t you tell them that I am not here!” I said but imagine the shock that went through me when I heard Lintle say, “Koko!”
And she ran down the stairs. What the hell? My mother was here? What did she want? Not today please.
I got out of bed and went down the stairs. I guess the shocks were not done for the day. It was not my mother, it was my mother in law! Wonders would never cease I swear.
“Get dressed, you are coming to bury my son with me!” she said as soon as she saw me.
“But ma…” I started to protest,
“He told me what happened! He must have lost his mind shem! I swear by my ancestors that I will moer him, grown man as he is. Who does he think he is abandoning his wife and child? Yho shem! He was not raised well enough if he thinks that logic makes sense to him in anyway! Lintle get dressed, you are coming to bury your uncle!”
She said before I could even respond. What was I meant to do now. If I defied I would clearly become the problem and if I chased I would become the needy desperate wife like so many others I often despised for weakness.
“Okay gran I had already packed and I will help mum pack too!” Lintle stayed cheerfully. Anything to get out of school this one.
“No Lintle you are not going. You have missed enough school already and you know at school they already warned you against missing again.
“Eish! I know!” she said.
“Why was she missing school? Was she sick?” my mother in law asked.
“She was sick but nothing major!”
It actually made sense at that moment that I leave with her because the questions would only increase, clearly. I had not involved the family on Lintle’s issues and it should stay like that.
“I am with my mother on this one. Besides I could be going to Dubai so I don’t want to mess this up, right Mommy!”
Yawn! This child did not have priorities set up right but I was not going to pick an argument out of nothing.
“We have to hit the road.” my mother in law said sternly and walked out. There was still a funeral to be had. I decided that I will drive behind them because driving in her car would have meant I could end up being stranded. I was tired though. I had barely slept and all the tears I had shed meant that I was also emotionally exhausted. My phone was connected to my car so when it rang I immediately answered. It was Zethu,
“Why is your husband here alone? He looks miserable and the police were here to talk to him earlier on!”
“Why would the police want to talk to him?” I asked her.
“I don’t know. Your mother in law is also missing?” she said of which I laughed and told her that my mother in law was driving in front. She was just as surprised as I was but oh well, what other truth could I give her. She told me that my husband had been alone the whole time and somehow I felt relieved. We chatted for like an hour into the drive and I think that was what kept me awake the whole time. I was that exhausted.
“Please hold on, I am going to put you on hold Lintle is calling me!”
I told her when another call interrupted the line.
“Hi mum. I am with Uncle Mthobisi. I am on the way to his house and he asked me to call you to tell you!” she said cheerfully.
“Put him on the phone!” I said very calmly.
“Hello!” I said, when I heard the phone switch hands.
“I did tell you that there will be consequences. You know what to do. I have your daughter. The next move is yours and when its done, you can have her back immediately!”
He said smugly and very sternly. I was so scared inside but I coldly replied, “You can keep her. Bye!”
I hung up. Don’t be fooled, I have never been more scared for my daughter in my life!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am a 26 year old female, independent with a great job as a junior manager. i have had these two guys for about 5 years of my life. I met the first guy in 2010 and the other in 2011. Ill call guy 1 Seuss and guy 2 Siba. We briefly dated with Seuss end of 2010 but i broke up with him, when i did that he showed me an engagement ring that he had bought for me but at the time i was not ready for that. 2011 I met Siba we clicked like a house on fire. and we dated but then he had a gf that i knew about when we started dating and as the year progressed i grew tired of waiting for him to decide between the two of us and he just never showed commitment to us and he is my age 26. So i broke up with him and he never fought the break-up but we were in contact frequently. I then dated Seuss who is 10 years older than me. We dated he cheated i caught him and forgave him. After a year of dating he lost his job. i helped out where i could. A year ago i got a promotion that required me to change cities completely and Seuss decided to move in with me, i was not fore this but i never said no to it i just let it happen. Sometime last year we got into an argument regarding Siba and it got to a point where he slapped me. i didn’t know what to do so i let him stay hoping that i will get over it and move on. i sort of distanced myself from Siba. My family found out about Seuss slapping me and they went livid. He agreed to go apologise to my family and he has a company now so he wants to lobola but i don’t think i want him to.
These past months being away from siba made realize how much i love him and how i never really gave him a fair chance at this relationship. The reason we fought with Seuss is because Siba contacted me and declared his love for me and asked me to have his child and i agreed to it.Problem now is Siba deleted me on facebook and wont return my calls or my text. Seuss i want to dump him but i will have to dump his entire family, after all we have dated for 3 years.
How do i get Siba to talk to me. i know he still loves me hes just really hurt right now and i am afraid that he might never want to speak to me again.