Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 26

Married women persevere in marriage, whether they are unfairly treated, cheated on , emotionally abused, not satisfied at any level – THEY SHOULD STAY. This is what we know from an early age, as girls we are taught that when we get married we should know that we will remain in those marriages whether we are happy or not. When my sister got married, a relative of ours told her that she no longer has a room her at her home. I don’t agree with this because I think everyone must be allowed to remove themselves from any situation that no longer makes them happy, even if it’s a marriage.

My sister saying she is moving back in was a shock to me, I was surprised that she even remembered where her home is because ever since she got married, she has been here only twice. I was the one who always went to see her at her house, whenever I told her to come home her excuse would be that she is a married woman and needs to be at her house very often.

Me: Why are you moving back in?

Thenjiwe: Please open the door and stop asking me questions. I will explain when we are inside.

I opened the door and we went in. She asked me to make food for her, she specifically said she wants meat and chips. After preparing her food, I went to sit with her.

Thenjiwe: Thank you, I’m glad to see the house still looking good.

Me: Mxm kanti what did you expect? Why are you here Mrs Msibi?

Thenjiwe: Mdu’s mother told me to go to my home because I’m ungrateful. She wanted to take my child to a sangoma, I don’t know for what reason. When I told her she can’t take my baby there, she became angry and started to swear and push me around, because of anger I retaliated and I was suddenly the bad one. She called Mdu and spinned the whole story and made it sound like I was the one who provoked her.

She paused and took a sip of her cold drink, I saw her eyes were teary. She continued

“Mdu came home, he was very angry. I tried to explain what happened but he didn’t listen and told me that I will leave his house if I can’t respect his mom. We argued and he then pushed me out of the house and told me to never come back.”

Boy and their mothers neh!!

I didn’t believe that Mdu would treat my sister like that. I always thought he loved her more than anything or anyone. Maybe his mother was always going to be the number 1 woman in his life, maybe he should’ve just married his mom.

Me: “So where is your car?”

Thenjiwe: “A friend of mine brought me here, I was told to leave the car behind because it was bought by Mdu’s money. So I left the car there. I only came with a few clothes, you must go with me tomorrow to fetch the rest of my things, and I don’t want to face that witch alone.”

Me: “Okay no problem, I wonder why this woman doesn’t like you.”

Thenjiwe: “Maybe it’s because I’m hot and she’s not.”

Me: “Haw that woman is old, she doesn’t care about looks.”

Thenjiwe: “No I’m serious Mdu’s mom isn’t attractive, she has never been beautiful. Instead of being happy that I’m a beautiful daughter-in-law, she is bitter. ”

Trust a pretty girl to turn everything into a beauty contest. I doubt Mdu’s mother hated her because she was pretty, maybe she was just a typical monster-in-law who didn’t need a reason to hate her daughter-in-law.

Don’t get me wrong but I was not happy with my sister’s decision to move back to our house. The house has 3 bedrooms and they are all occupied. This means I have to share a room with my sister because I can’t expect Sihle and Tsiamo to share a room since they pay rent, it wouldn’t be fair. I enjoyed her company but sharing space with a person can get very boring, and I’ve heard that babies wake up at very ungodly hours and cry for no reason at all. Eish this was going to be tough for me.

Spending time with my sister and Lethokuhle, her baby, was absolutely amazing, except when Letho was crying or needed her nappy changed. While we were chilling, Mdu called. My sister didn’t want to answer, but eventually she did and out the phone on loud speaker.

Mdu: “Thenjiwe where the hell are you?” He sounded very angry.

Thenjiwe: “I’m at home.”

Mdu: “Which home Thenjiwe?”

Thenjiwe: “My home, my mother’s house.”

Mdu: “In case it slipped your mind, you are a married woman. The only home you should be in right now is here with me.”

Thenjiwe: “I don’t have a home, you kicked me out remember?”

Mdu: “You were disrespecting my mom, what did you expect me to do?”

Thenjiwe: “I expected you to listen to me and protect me. Maybe I expected too much from a mommy’s boy.”

Mdu: “It’s not enough that you disrespected my mother, now you are disrespecting me. Kahle kahle you are very disrespectful but what did I expect from a girl who was raised by a whore. I tried to turn you into a respectable woman but I failed. It’s true that an apple doesn’t fall far from a tree, you are a whore just like your mother. Running away from your problems proves to me that you are not a real woman.”

Did he just call my mother a whore? Okay it’s true my mom was promiscuous woman but he didn’t have to call her a whore, and my sister was no whore.

Thenjiwe: “So I must respect your mom but you are calling my mom names. Please don’t ever call my mom a whore ever again, or else I will……”

Mdu: “Or else you will what? Your mom is a whore, you don’t even know who your father is. I want my daughter back, wena you can go and do whatever you want, but bring my daughter back to me. Letho is still young and should always be at home in a safe environment, your sister lives with strangers and I don’t know what kind of spirits they exhibit.”

Thenjiwe: “Letho is my daughter, I’m the one who carried her and bonded her. She will go where I go, you will see her when I want her to see you. Please don’t call me again until you have learned some manners.”

She hung up and walked away, I could hear her cry. I decided to let her be, so I chilled with Princess Letho. I was still shocked, the way he spoke to her was uncalled for. Mdu was normally a sweet person, but today I experienced a side to him I never knew existed.

Letho fell asleep, I let her sleep in my arms, it felt very good. She looked so peaceful and angelic while sleeping. I always wonder what happens in the minds of babies, do they know that they are babies? Do they know that they are loved and they are precious? Maybe if they did, they wouldn’t cry so much.

My thoughts were disturbed by Sihle walking in the house and screaming, eish she woke Letho up.

Me: “Sihle what’s wrong.”

Sihle: “Nothing is wrong, everything is perfect. I had the best time with my Tshepo, he is so amazing.”

Sihle was one of the few people I knew who were in happy relationships. Although they had their problems, they were genuinely happy and in love. He didn’t have to do anything extraordinary to make her happy, just being with him was enough for her.

Me: “Mxm you are boring yez, now you woke up the baby.”

She walked towards me and saw Letho.

Sihle: “We don’t have a baby here, so how was I supposed to know that I must be quiet when I walk into the house. Whose baby is it?”

Me: “It’s Thenjiwe’s baby.”

She took her from me and carried her. She sang to her, spoke to her in baby talk and told her the things they will do when Letho has grown up.

We went to sleep, I slept in Tsiamo’s room seeing that she wasn’t around. Letho was restless the whole night, she woke up and cried every 2 hours.

The next day we woke up, cleaned the house and made breakfast. It was really great having my sister around, reminded me of the good old times. During the day we went to her house to fetch her things.

When we went in we found Mdu making food for himself, Thenjiwe didn’t expect him to be at home.

Thenjiwe: “Hello.”

Mdu: “Yebo.”

After greeting she walked straight to the room. I also greeted him and followed her to the room. She took out a large suitcase and asked me to help her, while we were packing Mdu came and watched us from the door.

Mdu: “You are serious about moving out?”

Thenjiwe: “Yes.”

Mdu: “Can I please talk to you.”

Thenjiwe: “You are already talking to me, so you might as well continue.”

Mdu: “I want us to talk in private, please baby.”

Thenjiwe: “No, I can’t. You deserve better than to speak to a whore.”

Mdu: “I didn’t mean that baby, I was angry. I spoke without thinking, I’m really sorry.

He saw that Thenjiwe wasn’t interested in speaking to him in private so he spoke in front of me.

“Baby I’m really sorry for not standing up for you, not protecting you and insulting you last night. I was getting pressure from my mom to prove that I was leading this home the way she taught and expected me to. You know we have a good thing going on between us, let’s not destroy that because of my mom and my stupidity.”

Thenjiwe: “I am worried that this is the way you will treat me when your mother is around. I don’t need a boy who is afraid of his mom, I need you to be the man I know you are and protect me. I don’t want you to disrespect your mom, but she must know that this is MY house.”

Mdu: “I’m sorry baby, I will never treat you like that again. I will talk to mom and make sure she understands that you are the woman of the house and she should stop giving her opinion.”

Thenjiwe: “I don’t mind her giving me an opinion because she has more experience than I have, but I don’t want her to impose them on me or get angry and throw insults whenever I disagree with her. She is supposed to give me the respect she expects me to give her. I think it’s time she goes back to her house, we have a lot of help around. She will see her granddaughter during weekends.”

Mdu: “Does this mean you are coming back home?”

Thenjiwe: “Only if you promise to take me out tonight, we haven’t spent time together since we’ve become parents.”

Mdu: “Consider it done.”

Kanjalo nje they reconciled, I was happy because I wouldn’t be able to handle a crying Letho for another night. See now, this is the Mduduzi Msibi that I know, not the one who hurls insults at his wife just to please his mom.

I spent some few hours with them because I didn’t have anywhere to go. I made a mental note to let my clients know that they could book appointments again because I have healed completely. I left before my sister and her hubby went on their date.

I didn’t want to go home because I knew Sihle was probably with Tshepo. I drove around aimlessly until I found myself outside Apostle Thulani’s gate.

I rang the gate bell and the gate was opened. As I was parking the car, I saw a beautiful lady walking out of the house with the Apostle. As she went into her car, they hugged and kissed.

Who the hell was she?


5 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 26

  1. I wonder what’s going on the Apostle’s mind. It scares me to think we have leaders like that esp at church.As they know the word for urself otherwise u’ll be decieved

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