Hi Family, the Christmas season is in full swing and it’s a perfect time to order two copies of Diary of a Zulu Girl: one for yourself and one for a friend, it makes a great present. We will be delivering books till the 24th of December 2015. Don’t miss out on our special of R165 per book. Enjoy a great read, great story, great speedy service delivery. We kindly request that all who have reserved a book online, make payment for delivery as the books have been reserved for them. Thank you
Fuck I hate motherhood come to think of it! Some of the decisions we make are impulsive but meant to be for the best for your child. You don’t always get it right but the trial and error normally is what makes you a great mom. I am no expert, I was new to this. This whole maid business would not have been my first solution. How could I trust her with my son? I cannot trust anyone but my family with my son. Yes a maid could have been hired who had no emotional attachment to us whatsoever and I would not have minded but come on now. The mother of my son being our maid was a recipe for disaster! Some people are creepy without even trying to be creepy. That comment she made would forever haunt me so I will never ever get over that. I wanted her to see her child like any mother should but this woman had an evilness about her. I was not exaggerating this either.
“Do you guys really think this is the best solution for us? I mean can we afford a maid?” I asked no one in particular.
“Some sacrifices will obviously have to be made. I don’t see you offering anything concrete though and it’s so disappointing because everyone is here trying to help you!” my father said. I was going to bite his head off but I held it in. I was actually calm when I spoke.
“There is something you really haven’t considered! You don’t know these people and now you want to invite them to come stay with us? How is that a wise decision?”
I believe I had a point too as I said this to everyone. They were not thinking straight.
“I think what we must do is visit first, supervised visits at that. We get to know who we are dealing with!” I explained.
“That is too much work so how do you suppose that will go?” my mother asked me.
“It will go as planned that’s how. We need to visit were they stay too. It can’t be just one way direction!” I suggested. For the first time they seemed to be taking me seriously because I saw my father nod.
“I agree. We must know who these people before we, I mean before you start to offer them things!” he readjusted his words because I think he remembered whose house this was. The weird thing is she didn’t even flinch. My mum was definitely on the path of reuniting with this guy permanently and am not sure how I felt about that. Maybe I am selfish after all for not wanting my mother to find a life partner.
“Will I be going too?” my sister asked.
“We all go! We need to know what we are dealing with and we are in this together. How do we trust people from a distance like this? Come on. This is South Africa guys and anything can happen.
I think with the whole Amo drama no one doubted my words one bit. Amo started crying and I stood up to go check on him. He needed a diaper change so for the next ten minutes I was doing that and cleaning up. Ii was singing to him as I did and playing with him whilst he giggled. By the time I got back the table had dispersed.
“Your mother has no brakes. She has already called them and we are going to see them this afternoon. She said she wanted to get this thing moving!”
It almost felt as though my mother was eager to see Amo go. Some of these things you are supposed to delay as much as possible, right to the last minute.
“Is this what you want Judith? Do you want these strangers to come stay with Amo to?” I asked my sister. I was trying to involve her now as much as possible so that she does not feel left out.
“At this moment I will do anything that will allow us to see Amo. That’s all I want. I don’t think I can live knowing that she stays far away.” she explained coming to play with Amo in my arms. I guess that was the whole point, Amo needed to stay with us. I went outside where were I found my mother and father sitting on the camp chairs. My mother never ever sat outside but I guess this man was helping her rediscover something. I was very suspicious of him. I turned around to go back into the house. I thought they had not seen me but I was wrong. My mother called me there and asked me to give her Amo. When I did so she asked me to pour them some juice! My mom loves to send people around. She is that person who can call you from you room to hand her something that is next to her. Usually when she called us we would pretend that we could not hear her or put on earphones as an excuse. She would obviously be mad but this woman was a bit much. I did as I was asked and then when I got back they asked me to sit down. This meant I had to go look for another camp chair. Eventually it was now the three of us sitting together outside.
“Your father and I are thinking of moving in together or rather him moving in with me!” she said.
“No offence dad but isn’t it too soon. You have just rediscovered each other so are you not being hasty in inviting each other in so fast.” I asked them, trying not to sound insensitive and not supportive
“I know we have been debating on that. In fact he is the one arguing against it but I think we are adults and can figure this out together.” she said.
“Why involve me though in that decision? The only person who will be happy in this position is you and is that not what’s important?” I asked her. I would support my mother in anything, she knew that. I did not have to be asked something which I knew she wanted anyway. It was just redundant and a moot point.
“Thank you!” she said excited.
“See I told you she would support!”
My mother said to him. I don’t think I had a choice. She said I must call my sister and get Amo because we had to go. We were going to visit Ruben for the first time. I know this was being done for me but I had no excitement in me whatsoever. We packed ourself in the car and we were off. As we entered the area we got a call from the insurance warning us about the high risk area. Imagine, even from a satellite they could tell that this was a no-go area. Maybe it’s all the parafin smoke that caused a smog I don’t know really.
“Are you sure it’s wise coming here though?”
My mother was the first to ask the burning question. She was a nurse and older so I’m sure she had been to such areas before but for her to be scared like this meant we too were scared.
“We are not stopping. We promised we would come and we are going. This is where you want to send Amo so you must see what it means!” I said defiantly.
“This is where you left Ruben’s fate to be determined so you too must see what you own flesh and blood will endure!”
That was like a slap on the face, it hit home and she had intended it to. I was again reminded that Rueben was my son and my blood so I had no leg to stand on when I tried to defend Amo. At times I wondered who was on who’s side. We hit a pothole and the car jerked hard.
“Sorry I didn’t see that!” my mother said. I looked around properly now. Poverty is real people. We are joking when we complain that Rama is now so expensive because frankly speaking there are people who cannot afford it and guess what, they live here! These are people whom I doubt have ever heard of exchange rate nor the Rand falling. They struggle to put bread on the table everyday. That’s their biggest and only concern in life.
“Are you sure we are in the right place?” my sister asked locking the car doors. I wanted to laugh because this was not a place were you locked doors because here they would probably steal you too. I learned at that moment that people in cushy suburbs making decisions for everyone like this was not even a starter because they knew absolutely nothing about the real world.
“I hope you didn’t have too much difficulty finding us!” she said with a smile on her face. I could see she had tried to clean up the place in anticipation of our arrival. I was not going to judge though because I now fully understood what this was. Some people you simply cant.
“No we found it okay. It’s much further than I thought though!” my mother said breaking the ice quite nicely. I thought my sister would show her disgust for the place because she’s normally rude like that but she didn’t. She shook Agnes hand.
“My husband is out. He went to the spaza to get you something to drink. They have a generator there so it will be cold. Here we don’t have electricity so you can imagine!” she said. My mother told her that with load shedding we had become used to it so it didn’t bother us at all. Wow mom! Could you scream out “privilege” more than you just did right now. These people had no electricity permanently and she compared that hardship to load shedding.
“Where is the tap? I would like to wash my hands please!” my sister asked politely. Agnes pointed her to a communal tap about 50 meters away.
“No its fine, it can wait!” Judith said. I think she was scared to go alone that’s why. The place did not look dangerous but that was not the point, it was just extremely overcrowded and unkempt. If ever you enter a shanty town it always looks as though you are no longer in South Africa and this was it. In that small yard she stayed there was another family as well.
“I know it’s a lot but thank you so much for coming. It means a lot.” she said to us. She had tempered down from out last encounter. We put Amo next to Ruben on the mat and they started playing. This was the first time the two brothers were meeting. All of a sudden there was a bit of commotion. A boy ran through from somewhere and said,
“Mama ka Ruben, come quickly your husband has been stabbed!” he shouted in a mixture of fear and excitement.
“Stabbed?” she asked him standing up immediately.
“I better go with you in case you might need help whilst we wait for an ambulance.” my mother said.
“Ambulance? They don’t come here. Please if it’s bad we need to take him to hospital in your car please!” she begged. My mother did not argue with her. She left with my father leaving my sister and I here. Ok, now I was really scared. Ruben must have sensed that his mother was no longer close because he started crying. I looked at my sister!
“Why you looking at me?” she asked me and ignored me. Goodness!
I picked him up for the first time alone and he felt so warm. He immediately started playing with my hair.
My son was finally in my arms!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Seasons Greetings to you and your readers. Thank you so much for reading this.
I have been married to my husband now for two years. He was working and all was well. We were renting the place we were staying because we could not afford to bond just yet. Three months ago he lost his job. His mother insisted that we move in with them as they have a big house. As he is the last born there was no one else staying with them. The parents are early fifties at most and both teachers. I was very reluctant but pride was not going to pay the bills. We packed and moved in with them. Last month he got a job in Cape Town (we in Dbn). He left me alone and that’s were the problem started. His mother adores me and we talk for hours. The father is the problem. He is cold towards me in front of everyone. I don’t mind. What I mind is everytime we alone he touches me. I swear on two or three occasions he has fondled my buttocks as I walked past. I rebuked him of course. I don’t know how to tell my husband nor my mother in law because this will cause bigger problems. My husband and I are also not in a position to move in together probably till March.
I need help. What should I do?