Rumblings – Chapter 126

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

Let’s play a game, if you are a mother, take a look at your baby, imagine raising him or her to this fine age and all that love you have for him or her. Ok, now let’s do this, if you have no child, take a look at your sibling, or your parents for that matter…you love these people to death I suppose and there is not a thing you would not do for them right? Now imagine, being told that the baby you would die for is not yours or the parents you thought were yours kidnapped you as a baby or your brothers and sisters are not yours there was some kind of mistake! Sigh! Close your eyes and picture it please… I pause! When you are done whatever emotion you have amplify it by a million times to have an idea of what I was going through at this moment. These are stories you see on the news. This shit doesn’t happen to people like you and me. This kind of stuff gets you see on the Daily Sun and I didn’t want to end up there. In the darkest pits of my brains I was trying to picture life without Amo and that just didn’t exist. It’s impossible to envisage. As a mom though and this is the most difficult part, you can only blame yourself!

“I am calling mum!”

I heard my sister saying in the distance but I was not sure if it was part of the nightmare or what.

“I don’t understand doctor please explain!”

Mudenda was asking when I came to. We were now siting by the hopsital reception. I am sure I looed dazed and confused as I sat up. Turns out I didn’t pass out for a long time ah, even my ancestors wouldn’t spare me the pain of this moment.

“Are you ok there?”

The doctor asked me when he saw that I was awake. I just nodded my head but I still felt very weak.

“Don’t scare us like that!”

My sister came and held me up. I think she assumed I was going to pass out again.

“Doctor please talk to us!”

Mudenda insisted. I think me waking up had distracted the doctor. Mudenda didn’t even ask if I was ok. He seemed more angry than anything else which I will be honest I needed from him right now. I could not fight this alone. The doctor didn’t change his tone however when he spoke to us,

“Sir, maam I don’t know what’s going on but this baby is not yours. I have to call the police and social workers to get to the bottom of this!”

He said. He looked at me with that look you only give to a criminal. I bet you anything he thought we had stolen the baby. How could he even think that though? People who steal babies don’t go to private hospitals? I am not being a snob, I am telling the truth. When last were you robbed by someone wearing Timberlands? Now compare that with someone wearing All Stars? How then could we steal a baby? He had the wrong couple in mind! Mudenda wasn’t even there when I conceived so it doesn’t even count as a couple. I am the one who was there at the hospital and I was there when I was given that baby. I knew my child or did i?

“He is my baby! The nurses gave me at the hospital and said here is your baby! Someone is making a joke of us?”

I cried. These people were wrong? This was some joke probably by Meladi and her sadistic father.

“I would never joke like this. When you were passed out your husband gave me his blood donor card and he is right about his blood type. There is no mistake about what he said!”

Angry as I was I wanted to snap and say he was not my husband but some creep who made me pregnant and ran away but that was just so petty at the moment.

“I am sorry but I can’t let you near the baby now!”

He said to me and my mother as she too had come to see what the commotion was about. Maybe I had not been dreaming after all when I heard my sister.

“Mum do you hear what they are saying? You were there when Amo was born, tell them please that something is wrong!”

I pleaded with her of which she did. She knew I was not lying. What gave him the right to say that my child was not my own?

“Doctor surely you can’t just say that without social workers present! You can kill a person with shock! I was there when my grandchild was born. I saw them hand him to her and the rest! Are you sure about this?”

My mother said very angry at him at that moment but also cautious enough to try and get answers.

“Nurse, I needed a donor. It just came out. I did not mean to blurt it out like that but the bigger concern right now is the baby. I was not doing it out of a bad place.”

He said.

“I can’t believe you were that unprofessional!”

My mother said with tears running down her eyes. The doctor was not done though because he went on to say,

“We will run all the tests again. Sister you know that these things happen a lot especially in the bigger hospitals. Please explain to your daughter as you know the procedure from here!”

He said and he walked away. He literally was running away from further arguing with us.

“O shit it’s actually happening!”

I said out loud in disbelief. I cried. I cried as though someone as died. I cried so much that people stared but no one had the strength to console me. My sister was in shock and she stared into space. She more than anyone else felt my pain because she had raised my son for me. She loved Amo like he was hers. I could see she could not understand. This was Karma, this was for the hurt and pain I had brought Meladi. This was God punishing me for having a vengeful heart. I saw Aurelia through my tears and she had her hand covering her mouth and tears running down her cheeks. I don’t think anyone can believe what was happening.

“Faith come here my child!”

My mother said finally calling me over. Was it not better that Amo had died without me knowing. Was it not better that way? If he survived and someone else took him away it would be more painful than death. I will rather kill myself! This is not the story of Solomon the wise were I would want to give my child to someone else. What if that family said I could never see my child again?

I asked her if I could go outside to get some fresh air. That was I needed. I needed to clear my thoughts because something had been taken from me which I was fighting so hard to keep… my sanity.

“I will be fine mum I just need to be alone for a moment!”

I said after she protested that I should stay here with them. As I walked out everything look blurry. It was as though someone else had borrowed my body the way it felt. I was not in control. I needed to sit down. I wanted to vomit. I had so many thoughts on who could be the person raising my real baby whilst at the same time I was telling myself to block it out as that was a mistake. I had a picture of Amo in my purse and I took it out to look at it.

“Amo looks like Mudenda!”

I whispered to myself. Looking at that picture I was 100% sure of what I saw.

“Amo looks like Mudenda!”

I repeated because it makes sense. When all kids are born we often try and make them resemble someone familiar. How many times have you heard that you have someone’s ears or someone’s nose like what the fuck does that even mean? Had I done that when Mudenda was born? Had I made it up that he looked like his father? I look at this child everyday, he was just as ugly as his father that much I did not nor could not doubt. He was a stark reminder of him.

I wished I was a smoker because at least at this moment that could have calmed my nerves but I had always been the wise one of the bunch. I love my lungs and health too much but with this pain I needed something.

I saw Mudenda walk towards me. I needed him funny enough because this was our baby in question. Je came and he stood in front of me and for a good five minutes he had his hands on his hips and paced around very angry indeed.

“Faith what’s going on?”

He finally said to me. The confusion in him was even evident in his eyes I just could not face him.

“How could you not know that the child you were breastfeeding for so long was not your own fucken child?”

He screamed at me. I felt like I deserved that. I had earned it. He was right. How could I not have known than this was not my child? I really am a bad mother. Mudenda was trying hard not to hold back his tears but they were coming out. I did not understand this guy at all. He had never cared for him but now he was shedding as much tears as mine.

“You think you are his father? What qualifies you for that title? What do you care? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you dad when he woke up with colic every night for months? You did not even give a shit about him? Now you care!”

I screamed at him. He was taken aback because the fucken bastard had no right to put this on me! He had no right!

“How dare you ask me that Mudenda? Who do you think you are?”

I asked him and matched towards him as though I was about to go and punch him. He had a way of making me so mad but right about now he was being unfair. Every woman believes that the baby handed to them in hospital is theirs and I was no exception.

“But you are telling me that you couldn’t tell that the baby was not yours?”

He asked defiantly. He was there when his parents even acknowledged the resemblance between the two of them so how could he expect me to have doubted. It’s always the woman’s fault though so how could I expect more from him.

“Whoevers fault it is we need to fix this!”

He said like I did not already know. That it needed to be done. Who was this guy really waltzing in and acting as though he was here to save the day. I wanted to punch him so badly but sanity prevailed.

“Hey baby!”

I heard from behind me. Finally a voice I wanted to hear. It was Thulare. He hugged me and he held me. See, your man knows how to calm down a situation. He knows how to bring a smile back to your face even though now this was not what he would be getting.

“Shhhh, your sister called me about an hour ago. How is Amo?”

He asked me.

He hadn’t heard.

“They are saying Amo is not my baby!”

I told him with tears choking me. He did not immediately respond then he said,

“I don’t understand what you mean?”

Ok I get him, I wouldn’t understand either.

“Didn’t you hear me. The doctor did some rests and they are saying that we might have gotten the wrong baby at th hospital!”

Even saying it the words did not sound right.

“You got to be kidding me!”

He said and I don’t blame him either because I had been here from the beginning of this misunderstanding and I still didn’t get it. I didn’t even get a chance to respond as my mother called me and said they had arrived and I was sure who they was until I saw them.

It was the police. A male and a female I had never met before. I walked towards them with Mudenda behind me.

“You need to come with us madam so we can take your statement!”

The lady said without looking me in the eye. Maybe she felt sorry for me I don’t know.

“I am not leaving the hospital without my baby so we must do the statement here!”

I said defiantly.

“No one said anything about leaving the baby alone so it will be done here!”

She said and I saw this time she had managed a smile.

“Ma’am until this is cleared, if you attempt to take the baby anywhere you will be charged with kidnapping!”


“How can you charge me with kidnapping my own son?”

I asked her angrily but she stood her ground.

Kidnapping? She had given me an idea though, a very good one!

I needed to get my son and run away!

******The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike & Team

Hope I find you all well.

I need your advice, I am in a relationship with a guy who has a baby with this other lady, I was not the reason they broke up since I met him three years after their break up. This lady lives 39 minutes away from us yet we only get to see the child once in two or three months, whenever he ask her for the child she always has excuses even though he the father supports his child financially in all ways.

My question is should I take it upon myself and confront her via phone call women to women because I want that child to be a part of our lives. I feel that she is punishing him because he left her and she knows that he loves his daughter and wants her in his life.


Should we go to a family court we’re we could be advised about how to go about getting fair custody of the child?

If there is a social worker here please leave your contact details and I will be in contact with my partner as he does not know what to do as this is hurting him.

Confused Mommy

61 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter 126

  1. Confused mommy,pls mind ur own business, that child is nt urs and it will never b,even at family Court u will stay outside bcz it’s none of ur business…u r nothing bt a gf..ausi,knw ur position pls sisters

  2. Yhooooo drama drama….Thank you Mike…..beeen waiting for tuesday 🙂

    Confused Mommy : Dont call the woman…I repeat..DO NOT call her…she might just pull away even further…Cant your partner get her family to talk to her…like the girl’s mother or Aunt or someone….if that doesn’t work…then take the legal route….

    But let the family intevene first…..

    Wish you all the best


  3. Dear Confused Mommy

    Please advice your partner to go to your nearest family court, to request the access to the child. the father has full rights over the child just like the mother. it is unfair for that woman, to deny the father access because of their differences of the past and the father is not a threat to the well being off the child.

    Just don’t confront the woman, deal with the matter in a legal way.

    For the ladies out there, stop being selfish and denying the fathers to have access to their children, yet you demand maintenance. if the father of your child has moved on, do the same regardless how hurt you were. if you find that your ex has a woman who is willing to co-parent the child with you, please allow it to happen and stop being selfish. it is not about you is about the child.

  4. Confused Mommy, I am a Social Worker, however, the best person to help is the Children `s Court. It depends on where you stay, If its Soweto, go to Protea, if JHB and surrounding areas, go to 15 Market (Now Albertina Sisulu street) second floor, if Randburg area go to the Randburg court and find the Children `s court on the first floor. Its best done through the Children `s court, they will grant him access, there really isn’t much a Social Worker can do

    1. Hi Wethu,

      I have a cousin who wants to pursue a career in Social Work…she wants to study through the busaries offered but she cant seem to get any information on it….

      Can you kindly assit her in what she can do..where she can go…She is currently in Eastern Cape and is willing to relocate to Cape Town or JHB.


      1. Unfortunately the scholarship is closed for the year, but she can apply for next year. She needs to be registered at a university. The applications open after July and close end October, so she can try then. PS: Unisa no longer offers Social Work

  5. Nice chapter Mike, confused mommy y r u calling yoself mommy do u hv a child of yo own? You hv no right to call her, you guys are dating not married so my advice is stay away from her, wenze eyakho ingane

  6. QnA

    Do not anger that woman any further. You are not that Man’s wife your a girlfriend and quite frankly I as a mother would also not like to see my child’s father playing happy family with my child and his girlfriend.

    That child has only has 1 mother and less your bf weds you stay the hell away from the fued that man has with his baby mama……

  7. YOU ARE NOT THE GUY’S wife. Stick to your corner & know your place. Some issues are bigger than you. His family should intervene, not you.

  8. Please do not phone the mother. She will be furious. Let their families deal with this issue then maybe your bf can consider the legal route should the first option not work out.

  9. People are so judgmental and annoying. Did any of you judge judy’s realise that confused is worried about her man and the child and not herself??? This is not about her but about father and daughter. She is seeking assistance on how to help her boyfriend and not herself. Sit your righteous selves down and shut up please if you have nothing to say. Just because they aren’t married doesn’t mean she can’t care for him or the child. Even if they had to break up two months later she would know that she once did something right for a father and his daughter.

    If she as a girlfriend sat and watched everything happen then again she would be accused of being a bad person and not caring about the boyfriend or the child. People would then be calling her a witch and all sorts of stuff.

    Dear confused, don’t get directly involved in this, deal with it through your boyfriend. Let him speak to his family so that they can speak to baby mama’s family. If that does not help then they can take it to court.

  10. Thanks Mike……….
    QnA….ungenaphi wena vele? so you are in a relationship with this guy and you have taken it upon yourself to take over parenting of a child who still has both parents who seem to be capable of getting things done on their own. if your “boyfriend” wanted to do anything about it…he would have by now. your intervention would only make things worse……….ukugxambukela kwakho kuzonyanyisa which would result in a further unnecessary drift between the parents. ikuphi ke ingane lapho?
    #stayinyourlane sisi

  11. This is so heart breaking to read. Faith must not do anything stupid now like run with the baby, it will make matters worse.

    Confused mommy, I suggest that you advise your boyfriend as per Wethu’s advice above and he must talk to his baby momma. Its commendable that you care about his baby but you could make the situation far worse by confronting the mother at this stage. She has the upper hand and you don’t want her to play all her cards. Some baby momma’s can be ruthless.

  12. haike mina ngiConfused …………reading the QnA ………there is no concern about the child here……….read it again and you will see at least ten “I” ……….vele Confused Mommy ungenaphi sezothatha izindaba zezinye izingane azenze ezakhe? if she wants to help as a partner then kuhle lokho but akangakwenzi okwakhe. her feelings and assumptions about the mother of the child should not cloud the important issues. asingakhohlisani la, confused mommy needs assistance…..singamoshi relationships zabantu nezingane zabo thina sizidlulela. remember those parents are in this partnership of being parents for a life time and bawuyimosha ngokugxambukela uthi vele sithini?
    …ningazodlala ngathi la lenithi siJudgmental and annoying.

  13. You have said it beta Lira she even calls herself confused mommy y she doesn’t bear her own babies n stop sticking her nose where it doesn’t fit!!!!

  14. Thanks Mike,#kwaaaks# most of ds ppl hu r gtng soo personal towards ur letter is da baby mamas dt gives their ex’s tough time

  15. Haowa mara waitsi, what is so wrong for a girlfriend to want to intervene when she realises wrongdoing? So must we as girlfriends jut sit and watch our partners (potential future hubbies) have estranged relationships with their children? Is it wrong to want to support your partner to exercise his rights? Having been in a similar situation to you before confused mommy, I fully understand where you are coming from. I actually commend you for wanting to take some sort of action, although I do not agree with contacting the mother directly as you need to draw boundaries. But I think you are in your right as a gf to want to find out what your man can do to see his child.

    I don’t understand us people sometimes, here is a woman that cares for a child that is not her own and wants to do something and she is being told to mind her own business. We are talking about the wellbeing of a child here and the right for the child to have a relationship with their father, you don’t have to be the wife for you to get some sort of information to help or support your partner.

    I wish I had more information to help you. Maybe you should ask your bf to speak to the elders that were present when discussing damages for the child to go ask for a family meeting to discuss this issue on his behalf, let him voice his issues through them to the baby mama’s family, if that doesn’t work then the next step will be to look at the legal route.

    Wish you guys all the best!

  16. Q&A
    Hay cc please suzingena dear or zobasengxakini wedwa. Let the parents sort out their differencies, if this guy is really serious as seeing his daughter again, he should take legal advice hopefully baby mama will come back to her senses.
    Kwezi days siphila kuzo, its not easy to just let you baby(CHILD) go for a weekend with daddy cz there are mean step girlfrinds (mothers) who would threaten or be funny to the kid for no particular reason.
    i don’t blame the baby mama for not allowing the dude near her kid though but andiyiphakamiseli ino yoba angamniki at all umntana utata wakhe.

  17. I bet all these kak responses are from scorned baby mamas.Yall need to grow up!You will be suprised that she calls at midnyt looking for money for the baby but when he wants to see the baby it becomes a problem.Yall bishes do not know that its because of the new partners that yall baby daddies are active in th kids lives.

    1. Mo
      You are right I personally fetch my man’s son for him to spend quality time with the father. I also made sure the son is getting and education I would want my own child to get. Because we are often labelled as bad people and selfish for steppping back and hoping the problem sorts itself out.
      No one can hold a grudge better than a baby mama even she was the one who screwed up

  18. Confused Mommy, firstly you are not the mommy but girlfriend, don’t ever regard yourself as one.

    I am in the same boat you are in. Do yourself a favor and NEVER make any contact with the baby mama, you have no relation with her, the only relation you have is with your boyfriend.

    If you don’t have a child of your own, uzakube uzibizela ukuthukwa ngulomama. Because she will be telling you to make your own child and you don’t need that help.

    Support your man to continue to give money and all support that the child might need. And he should keep all receipts of all the transactions he does for the child they will help with the court to show that he is responsible but not given the chance to spend time with his daughter.

    Again, I say don’t contact the baby mama, awungeni ndawo.

  19. Hi confused mommy…

    May I advise that the father of the child be the one to pursue the shared custody of the child. I’m a social worker and with my experience I’ve leant that a lot if women do not feel comfortable with their children being involved with their baby daddy’s girlfriend/wife..

    The father and the mother of the child will be given a parenting plan which is a sort of timetable that will help determine when and where the childs visitations will take place….

    Unfortunately my dear you do not really have any rights towards the child furthermore you can only get access to child if both the child’s mother and father are comfortable with the child being around you.

    I will advise though that you seek the help of a social worker in your area…


  20. Looks like confused mumm6 touched a nerve, loads of angry Ex baby mamas who are giving their baby-daddys a hard time. Khane nizoyeka nihambe nizala,senishaya ngama choice assorted and still not learning ukuthi ingane won’t make him stay…mmmnxxxxm sit ur fake bitter asses down!!!! Now, confused mummy, well done for showing concern for ur man and his daugher. Keep it up and do as Wethu said0

    1. Lol death by choice assorted,hae no mara no chid should be referred to as such, it is unfair to call them that because it is not the mother’s fault that south african men are irresponsible, make a run when one becomes pregnant!! I am not a mother yet but I applaud such women whom care so much about the well being of their partners kids, such women are rare to find, with that said and done I dont think you should confront the mother of the child, you have no relation with her so best you let your man to deal with it, you calling her will just cause more problems. Wena sa gago ke go tutuwetsa monna wagago gore atseye magato gore abe bophelong bya ngwana gae. Good luck sesi and do not be discouraged by some of th commets here. Continue being the supportive girlfriend to your man. P.S You need not be a mother to care about a well being of a child.

  21. Wow. Scorned baby mamas are touched.
    Doesn’t matter whether you are a gf or wife, support your man, but dont call the baby mama.
    Wishing you all the best!

  22. Hai shame too many baby mamas here who have been scorned,… Yes she is a gf to him not to the wife but regardless she is trying to help her man connect with his baby! Wena cc dnt talk to his bby mama ask him to talk with his family so they can help him with the issue. Gudluck in that regard.
    My heart bleeds fr u faith such a touching chapter but pls Mike dnt let faith run away with the bby

  23. What’s the use of venting your stress on the blog? She needs”ADVICE” not you showing how angry ? you are. You just need some anger management classes.

  24. Hey Mommy… affects you directly, whatever concerns your boyfriend concerns you…..start with the boyfriends family if you can’t do that then you are not as close to him as you believe you are and as a result you should not pursue it. ……Mike the reason you don’t have letters anymore is because of the way people respond to posts….i once wrote here and was given a tongue lash instead of advice as a result I only read two comments and stopped. This truly is not the way things are done. When we come for advice it’s because we have thought of our problems and can’t come with solutions…..but if abantu abakwazi ukujonga ezizinto as outsiders and be impartial then akhonto izolunga.

  25. I am a not a scorned baby mama, I’ve been with my man for 4 years, he paid lobola for me..we have a 1year old daughter…and has a 6 years old boy from a previous relationship….I chose to butt out of him and baby mama custody/visitations dilemma… She changed numbers so many times I lost count..only for my fiance not to get hold of his son.. At the end of it all the son will come back to his dad, he tried to get through to her but I guess she’s still bitter…so nna ke kena kae koo…as much as I want my daughter to meet and bond with her brother, I’d rather leave it to both of them to sort it out…I say don’t be involved lala..maybe there’s a reason why ur man is not pursuing it.

    1. According to her the man has tried tlhe, the baby mama is the one who is not meeting them half way. Can people please read carefully before judging ay suka. Niyabhora yazi.

  26. Mmh concerned mommy you really hits a nerve of lots of angry and bitter Baby mama’s who are giving the Bby daddies hard time but they still demand maintenance. Qhubeka sisi usize umuntu wakho vele he deserves to spend time with his child.

  27. Johhh so much negativity from baby mamas with issues. Wow, i dnt know if yall would rather if this lady didn’t care about her man’s relationship with his son. I dnt see anything wronv with her being concerned because if this guy loves his child, this problem probably even affects their relationship. Again, she is the potential wife, so somehow she must have some sort of relationship with the child, joh atleast she is showing willness to accept the child.

  28. This letter hit a nerve in soo many baby mama’s who got dumped n left by the daddies! It’s funny that most of these baby mama’s act like like they love their kids but they are acting selfish n stupid. Ushiyiwe,get over it and move on,its not about yoy anymore but the child.get that in your skull. It’s rare to find good gf’s that are willing to love your child n bring them closer with their daddies. Amaxesha amaninzi! These women love n nurture your kids better than you cos unlike you,theyre thinking about the wellbeing of your child and not a dick that don’t want you anymore.mxm

  29. Lol sumbdy is a scorned baby mama…I’m sure dese ladies hu r leaving ngtv comments r dose bitter bby mamas hu r still hung up on deir baby daddies…y’all shud jst shut ur thumbs…u nt helpin a situation…

  30. Ta braMike
    Q&A: Confused Mommy, as in most relationships there is usually one who is stronger vocally than the other & in diff aspects even action/discipline solving problems etc. & it seems UR the stronger character in yo relationship.
    However in this case pls avoid overstepping.
    Restrain yoself from influencing instant results. Put yo man infront & follow family negotiations. If that fails then use legal means but yo bf must be lead as the father of the child.
    I personally thank U for caring for yo bf & his child bcz some gf’s wud be happier in such cases & not even bother. – PapaG

  31. Lolin kante Faith has a crazy side lene!?

    @confused please don’t get involved in this. Don’t confront the mother of that child u are a gf not the wife. Stay in ur lane. Instead of starting a war y don’t u try ta befriend the baby’s mother? I know that if I had a baby with someone I wouldn’t be comfortable with the guy’s new gf being around ma baby. There are people with serious problems out there u could be a child molester for all we know.

  32. confused mommy, you just want to look good in your bf ‘s eyes. I can bet with my last money that you are the one who came between the babby mama n daddy, but you wouldn’t tell us that now, would you? so I suggest you stay in your lane.

  33. I see a whole lot of angry baby mamaz in here????
    But ke,
    1. Confused mommy stay out of it, and let your man deal With it.the best you can do is advise him
    2.pho kunani if she came between them , the bbymama must stop being childish n bitter, whatever happened between the two of them ingane ayihlangene especially if the father is supportive.

    Ladies let us not fight our battles ngezingane, it’s unfair on them .

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