For this Christmas we have enough books that got delivered from the publisher. We are having a special for November and December. We have 8500 copies on our online store http://diaryofazulugirl.co.za/store, this makes for a perfect gift. If you wanna do things the traditional way herein banking details:
Wakahina Media Pty (LTD)
Send your book order and proof of payment to firstname.lastname@example.org
Oh the price is R165 per copy use this coupon code for the discount amount, code: doazg
I am the first to admit that as a mother I had failed. I know the mistake was hers but I doubt that there is any mother to a teenager who got pregnant under her nose, who does not feel as though they had failed. Sigh! It’s a sad acceptance and yes we can sit and say the child was the one who fucked up but the blame can never be entirely on her. Where was I as her mother and as a parent? Forgive me for swearing like that but my pain is real and raw. This was my baby who had done this and that does not just go away. As a mother how would you feel hearing that your child had an abortion at the age of 16? How would you feel knowing that she did the abortion by herself when you were there to help her do it? Maybe that came out wrong, the words ‘help her do it’ but as a baby she needed me there to hold her hand through it. I wanted to cry. She was emotionally immature the way she had said that it’s done. I would have expected her to be crying and hurt but she did not seem like it. That’s what scared me the most because shedding no tears definitely meant she had not learned her lesson. I know we all say children are a gift from God but honestly why do others get good smart ones, whilst others get dumb delinquents? Some gift I tell you.
I stood up and ran after her. “Lintle what’s going on? Talk to me!”, I said to her seriously because she only seemed to understand a stern voice.
“What is it you want to talk about mum? My baby is dead. It’s what you asked for!” she said as a matter of fact and clearly reminding me of my role in all this.
“No love it is not what I wanted, not like this!” I protested, but she went on to say, “Mum you said you would throw me out of the house if I gave birth here. What were my options? You said it yourself I could not get a job and had no education so there! I killed it!”, she said.
It was meant to sting and it did. I don’t think I take it back, that her giving birth right now would have been a bad idea. She was too young and it would ruin her life forever. I know some people were teen mothers and they survived it but I did not want my baby to go through this. Shoot me for caring about her education and future.
“Well it’s done now love you need to build on this experience okay?”, I said trying to calm down the situation. It needed that.
“Build on it? Really mum… don’t you mean so we can just forget about it. You want me to forget that you said I must kill your grandchild? No mom I cannot. I will never forget but like you say, I am a child and you know better!”, she said then turned around.
“That is not fair Lintle!”, I said but no more words came out. I did not know what to say. She did not turn back. That was her way of saying I must leave her room. I wanted to leave too because she had to be alone and think about this. I really wanted her to cry because her holding it in was not healthy and will only raise the anger in her.
When I got to my room my phone was ringing. It was my husband. I debated on whether or not to tell him what had just happened but right now he was going through a lot it made better sense to wait till I saw him. This was not the time.
“My love, what’s going on?”, I asked him when I picked up.
“A lot but I just wanted to check in on you and Lintle. Is everything okay that side!”
It’s like this man had a sixth sense or something.
“Not really but it’s Lintle you know how she is!”, I told him. I did not want to talk about her that much though, as it really would divert attention from him there.
“What has she done this time?”, he asked me but I told him it was nothing I could not handle.
“Is that lady still there?” I asked him. We must not forget that Nelisa’s mother was there.
“What lady?”, He asked me. Had he really forgotten that much. I told him who I meant and he said she left earlier. I breathed a sigh of relief. Peace of mind goes along way.
“I will not be able to come back tomorrow as promised. I need a couple of days this side. There is a lot that needs to be done and driving up and down won’t help!”, he said and that one I did not like at all.
“When must I come then?”, I asked him. I was prepared to leave tomorrow if he said so but he said, “I would much rather you come the day before the funeral. You and my mother fighting is not something that I can handle. We need this to go smoothly so I think it’s best that way!” he said. I can’t believe I was hearing this. I was the eldest makoti in this family and if I did not go it would be like I was proud and did not want to give my time. This would be a bad idea in so many ways. What was he thinking? I had to go there.
“I don’t agree with that love. You know how bad this will look if I don’t come?”, I told him.
“Please just listen to me for once. Why must everything be a fight with you!”
He hung up! He hung up on me! What the hell was going on? Okay, fine. I was not going to go. I would sit here in Jhb whilst those people gossiped about my pride and how I thought I was better than everyone else. It was their favourite pastime wasn’t it. For the umpteenth time in the last month or so I went to bed unhappy. This is not what my life was supposed to be like. I deserved better.
I needed to have a better day than what I had had yesterday. Why was I being made to suffer as though it is I who had killed him; it was not my fault. I liked his brother and would have gladly put everything down. I should just have a good day. Lintle left early without talking to me again even when we crossed in the passage. My child acted as though she was older than me so let her be the adult. She will talk to me when she is ready.
It was already late in the day when my brother came to my work place. I had decided to stay late because I wanted to catch up on a lot of paper work I had neglected. This is what makes me know he had not come for me but rather Zethu. Unfortunately for him she was still very busy after an emergency case came in. He had a bunch of flowers in his hands.
“I thought I would never see you again hey, after the way you ran out of the house?” I teased him. He just laughed it off as he hugged me.
“Are we going for the funeral?”, he asked me the moment we were alone. Zethu had gone for theatre so I was no longer not even sure if it was me whom he had come for in the first place.
“Yes of course, how can you even ask?”
That was a dumb question. He had to be there.
“Do you think I should introduce Zethu to dad when we go home because you know he never supports anything I do?”
So that’s why he was really here! He wanted my opinion on him and Zethu. I had been asked not to comment and that’s what he wanted.
“You have to tell mom at least dude. I am sure you will shock the crap out of her but it will be a good surprise!”
I was not kidding either because he was the last person we expected to see on the altar.
“But mom and dad favour you! You have always known that. If I could, I would go get married at the court so that I don’t have to cater for too many people!”
I got what he was saying. He was my brother after all.
“Stop saying such things. You are their son and they love you. That’s all that matters!”
I reminded him even though the chip on his shoulder was too big for him to see reality. He had messed up so many times hence why he was always in trouble.
“Mum is going to make this a spectacle you will see!” I said laughing, trying to lighten the mood. An event at my house meant my mother inviting her whole church and they were many.
“This wedding Kgosi, have you thought it through?”
I finally asked the big question.
“Not really, just felt like the right thing to do at the time. I thought she would say no as I was teasing but after a person says yes you can’t exactly take it back now can you!” he said, then chuckled. See I was right! To my brother nothing is ever serious, even marriage. Zethu was going to get hurt and hurt really badly.
“You do realize that you are marrying this woman! You can’t be saying such things because she is serious!” I warned him.
“That’s good for her but come on sis who gets serious after a month of dating. That’s way too short. I am sure she will change her mind soon but for now I am happy where I am.”
I am not going to say that I was surprised at all by my brothers careless responses because I knew that he was like this. He always looked for shortcuts in life that’s why he never succeeded in anything.
“This is wrong and you know it. She is my friend. Please don’t do this!”
I asked him now with my voice getting more serious with him. He was being cruel. That was very uncalled for and I did not like this at all.
“Why am I the cruel one? If it was a girl getting a doctor you would all be celebrating that she is making the best decision of her life even if it’s only after a month. I am no different. Where else am I going to find a doctor, a beautiful one at that who actually wants to marry me and make me a better person?” he asked me standing up from where we were sitting. I am not sure his question was rhetorical and before I could answer he continued,
“You know that will never happen again. I am going to worship her ass and treat her like a queen not because I am so in love but because she has changed my life forever!”
He said with so much conviction that it was clear that I was the one who had not thought this through at all. He knew exactly what he was doing.
“Ok then good luck with that. I am not going to say anything further on this!”
I told him and he smiled and hugged me. As he walked away my phone rang. It was Dr. Seabi from another hospital.
“I am sorry to bother you like this but I need a consult. It’s rather urgent and tricky as people are going to kill each other here!”
What was he talking about now?
“I have a toddler who needs surgery asap please come look at him. It’s rather sensitive because after we did tests it appears the parents are not the child’s. There was clearly a swap e.t.c so it’s sensitive!”
I was not doing anything that evening so I agreed. Why the hell not? It was better than being in a house where I was not wanted.
“Email me the file and will see you in a few hours!”
Mike Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Greetings to all the readers and thank you for the amazing blog.
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