Realities – Chapter 80

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I think people have always debated on what is the right time for a woman to move in with a guy as well when is the right time to marry a guy. There are not set rules but in all honest the general consensus is that don’t move too quickly otherwise you risk messing up a good thing. Most people who get married too quickly are those that are pregnant already or maybe green card people I don’t know. It’s a recipe for disaster and only a fool would not see that. You need to get to know a person, build something together and even have a few fights before you even think of saying I do. I was the bad guy for pointing out the obvious clearly but who would not be concerned in such a situation. How does an intelligent person even think this as wise? Zethu was a moemish and my brother had struck jackpot. My brother marrying my work best friend after a month of dating was by far the stupidest idea I have ever heard. It was crazy to say the least.

“Are you sure about this?”

I asked her because it was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

“See why i didnt want to tell you? This is the reason why I don’t share information with you? Yes we are getting married and yes it’s happening so fast but I am happy and that is what counts!”

She said. I had not even commented properly yet and I don’t think I was going to. When a person is already this defensive on day one then you know something is wrong. I did not have to be the one that told her that she will learn for herself. From best friend to sister in law, yah neh, what a fall from grace! It is really sad how some of us make our decisions but oh well it’s her life.

“I support you in whatever you do so don’t worry about my reaction. All this is just sudden for me.”

I told her.


I said and went to hug her. I don’t think she bought into it though but I don’t care I had done my part. I had warned and now I was giving her my support. She will learn with time that’s for sure.

“Where is my brother? I called him this morning but he did not pick up. Wanted to tell him that there is a funeral at home and since you the new fiance you must come too!”

I said to her. She was a bit confused by the use of the word fiance because clearly she had not thought this through. Marriage is the last thing as a woman you should chase. I guess with her though she was already quite accomplished so she had it all figured out.

“I am ready for that. Who passed away?”

I told her everything and because I had complained to her enough times about my mother in law she asked if she was going to meet her. Already I had made her anxious about her even though she did not affect her.

“Yes you will and that’s if she is willing to be met.”

I told her and we both laughed. I really didn’t support her marrying my brother because I knew once he broke her heart I was going to lose the one person I spoke to freely. She really was more like a sister to me.

“Tell me again why you hate her so much?”

She asked again. I don’t know why she liked hearing me talk about it.

“She has tried to separate us so many times. There was a day when I was at her house and she said to Sizwe in front of me ‘The only reason why you married her was because her father is a gangster otherwise you would never have settled for this’ imagine”

I told her. That one still hurt. Sizwe married me because he loved me and yes my father had made sure it happened since I had gotten pregnant but it didn’t happen out of a vacuum. We had been dating and I got pregnant. The only difference is that I was young but my parents realized that I would end up like so many other women out there, with child but no father for it, he had stepped in. Most parents would want that for their children and it’s not like Sizwe was a bad person, soccer player, drug addict, or one of his taxi drivers. Nope, he was a decent young man at the time.

“Then there was a time when we were at a wedding on the table she said to me again in front of people ‘The only reason why my son is still with you is because you have money but wait till that money finishes!’ ”

As I said it I could feel tears well up in my eyes. That woman had a tongue that could more than jut humble you. She loved torturing me and much as I tried to steel myself everytime before I saw her she would always get me somehow. I never fought back because fighting your mother in law is considered rude in most circles so I let it go.

“Eish I think let’s change topics. No use dwelling on all these useless things because the Nothabo I know is fabulous and fantastic!”

She said. She had made me talk about it and now I was a bit sour.

“I have to check on Sizwe to see how far he is. He has been very quiet and now am getting worried!l

I told her. It’s true, I had not spoken to him the whole morning. I immediately tried to dial him but his phone went to voicemail. For some reason I was starting to worry.

“He will call when he is ready don’t worry. It must be a very emotional day for him too!”

She said trying to comfort me. I think I had issues in life I guess, he was fine.

I was also worried about Lintle. The blood on the sheets was definitely not a good sign. I was worried that maybe she could have been attempting an illegal abortion but no she would not be that stupid. She had money that much I always made sure of so why would she do that. Maybe I had handled this thing wrong. I could not call her now because she was still in class. If I went to school she would shut down again. I wanted her to get help not further push her away from it. It was going to be a long afternoon at this rate.

“Hey love. I am here. It’s a mess this side. I found my brother was staying with a woman and they had twins.”

He explained to me. That indeed was news because neither of us knew that he had a woman let alone kids.

“My mother wants to throw her out because she was not formally introduced but everyone else is against the idea. Nothing has moved, they haven’t even gone to get his death certificate and the works!”

He explained. He had so much there but I was not interested in all that, I was just glad that he was ok.

“I think I should give you time. Call me when you are ready to talk.”

I told him.

“In the spirit of honesty. I found Nelisa’s mother here. She was helping with a few things. I did not call her nor tell her!”

He said before he dropped. I mumbled an ok but my heart was in panic mode. What the hell was she doing there? Now I wanted to go to Bloem because I was not comfortable wit this whole situation. Was she the reason behind the divorce? Was he hoping to get back with her? I could feel my palms sweating.

“Excuse me doc, we need to discuss a patient…”

I heard a voice say behind me. It was a voice I knew all too well and certainly did not want near me.

“What is it George?”

I said turning to face him. Did they really have to put him back in my rotation and in my department? These were starting to feel like hostile working conditions and I had created this. Never sleep with a colleague… now I knew why!

“I wouldn’t be here if I could so this is not pleasant for me either.”

He said but I was not interested. I asked him to find one of the interns because I was busy. I walked away and left him standing there with the file in his hand. I had too much going in my head so I did not want to be here anymore. I wanted to go to Lintle though as now more than ever I was convinced she was up to something.

I finally got an sms from my brother. He was supposed to call back at a time like this but I guess he did not want me to talk to him about his proposing.

“I just spoke to Zethu and she tells me someone has died. I will come see you this evening. I am sorry for your loss!”

That’s all he said and it was done. Maybe he was fighting with me and I didn’t know about it. He was acting strange though. Only around four did I manage to leave for home. I had tried to call Lintle several times but her phone had been off. This was something normal during the day so I was not even allowed to panic. When I got home I went straight to her room. She was a very detailed person and kept a diary. Unfortunately when I entered the room she was sitting at her computer.

“Hi mum!”

She said to me when I was standing in her doorway.

“Hi! I have been calling you all day and your phone is still off!”

I said to her.

“Yes it’s off I didnt want to talk to some people that’s all!”

She said. I did not like this. I closed the door behind me and let myself in.

“We need to talk!”

I told her.

“Are you thinking of having an abortion?”

I asked her outright.

“What’s it to you mom? It’s not like you care what happens to my baby!”

She responded nastily,

“Don’t take that tone with me Lintle! I care about everything that you do!

I told her!

“Well if you cared you would have noticed! I had the abortion already! There!!! are you happy!? I killed my child and your grand child at your request! Now you can keep your perfect family together!”

She cried and ran out of the room!

O shit!


******The End*****




Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)


Hi mike & family

thank you for your wonderful work. My letter is

rather long. I’m a xhosa woman who was customary married to another

xhosa guy but unfortunately we had an accident n my husband died on

the spot but I survived with injuries hubby n I have 2kids

but he had other kids outside wedlock.we had a car no house we were

renting now my problem is that my inlaws are not talking to me while i

was hospitalized they decided everything without my consent but I

didn’t question that but when I got discharged I was picked up by my

parents off which they seem to have a problem with that but due to my

injuries I had to go home to my mother so she can be the one who takes

care of me.during the funeral and a day after no one as in my in-laws

immediate family spoke to me.I asked them if I can take my baby the

last born with me off which they agreed but now they seem to be having

a problem with that I think they will take everything that me and

their son had that including the car n they also want to claim from

RAF and they willing to deny I was customary married to the deceased.


Can you guys help me I need to know how can I fight this cruelty and

not loose everything on them.







18 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter 80

  1. Makoti : Firstly, I am sorry for you loss sisi. I can only imagine your pain… I hope you recover soon nhe…I know a girl who is a lawyer and she deals specifically with marriage law and she’s even writing a book about it and doing some research so I am pretty sure she will give you answers and direction on what you can do in your situation…I will give you her facebook name and you can invite her or send her a message with your question.

    Some in-laws nje kodwa….mxxxxm.

  2. Makoti get a lawyer and I hope your customary marriage was registered as well. Take all your children w And for the rest of the young women I hope you can spend 5 minutes researching marriage laws that affect you just as much as you spend 5 minutes on a blog. That being said any person with a child or permanent life partner, or marital spouse must have a wil. Its the 21st century guys, be legally smart because it can happen to anyone.

  3. Wow Lintle is a work of art,can’t take such disrespect from a child. She’s rotten

    Maori, I’m so sorry for your loss. I stand to be corrected. When a man pays lobola is considered married traditionally and the 2 families write down and sign that lobola was paid. That’s the proof you need to claim your car and house contents and claim at his work. Also RAF is you who have the right to claim as his wife. Customary marriage is legal in South Africa.

  4. Where’s the letter that shows that your family accepted lobola? As far as I know, its a legal contract & recognised as a traditional marriage certificate

  5. Hi Guys, I would like to buy books and pay via EFT does anyone know if there are delivery charges payable and how much. I sent an email a week ago to Mike but didn’t get a reply.


  6. Dear Mike

    I would like to offer you assistance with queries if that is possible. I see a lot of people complaining about sending emails with pin code queries and all, that are not responded to. I would like to offer help with that.

  7. Makoti : Its Nthabiseng Monareng…Thats her facebook handle…you can ask her, she will give you the best advice you need and guide you in what you need to do moving forward……

    All the best nana…I hope those greedy leeches of your in-laws dont get a cent…nxa bayandi caphukisa man….

  8. @makoti, google the Customary Marriages Act of 1998. read section 4 titled the Registrations of a customary marriage and follow the procedure as set out, The registration of the marriage will allow you to claim from your husbands estate. I am assuming your husband died Intestate(without a will),so it would be wise to read the Intestate Succession Act 1 of 1987, (1)(c)(i) (ii) which sets out who is entitled to inherit what and how.

  9. Go to the magistrates court and you will be appointed a state lawyer free of charge, if not then they will direct you. If you still have the lobola letter, then that stands as proof of marriage . In the meantime, pray and tell no one about your plans, your husband’s family included. Smile, nod your head and say no more. You are the wife and are entitled.

  10. hi Makoti

    You have every right to take them to court. The law even recognises cohabitation (ukukipita) kangakananu ulotsholiwe

  11. QnA, check Nthabiseng Monareng on FaceBook and inbox her your problem, but as far as i know customary marriages is recognised if the traditional ceremony did take place ( i think you call it Uduli if im not mistaken) there has to be celebrations first for the court to recognise you customary marriage, but if it was only lobola then No…but do engage with Sis Nthabiseng she will advice you in accordance…


  12. I just found myself in yesterdays letter, some baby mamas can be so cruel, all they do is demand money but still deny the father access to the child

  13. Dear Makoti
    I’m a lawyer who works with RAF claims,as natural guardian children ur entitled 2 claim loss of support for ur children and yourself.RAF will instruct assessors to come investigate ur marriage 2 the late.I suggest you go 2 RAF office n lodge the claims as soon as possible.Fight ur inlaws the law is @ ur side,even if u were nt married 2 the deceased ur kids r entitled to his things.

  14. its so beautiful what you guys are doing on this platform, the support you give one another, exercising the spirit of “Ubuntu” keep it up, you are surely to be rewarded from the most High.

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