Morning friends. We will not be posting Realities or Rumblings for the duration of the week. We would like to give Growing Up Relevant a fair run on its own before it returns to its original Sunday slot. We hope you enjoy it.
For this Christmas we have enough books that got delivered from the publisher. We are having a special for November andDecember. We have 8500 copies on our online store http://diaryofazulugirl.co.za/store, this makes for a perfect gift. This is for the HARD COPY. If you want to do things the traditional way, here are the banking details:
Wakahina Media Pty (LTD)
Send your book order and proof of payment to email@example.com
The price is R165 per copy. Use this coupon code for the discount amount: doazg
Thank you & God bless
People should learn to check before they send an sms, simply because it might end up in the wrong phone. My sister once sent me an sms that was meant for Philani. I know you are wondering why my sister was texting Philani. Well they were planning to throw me a surprise 21st birthday party. I vaguely remember what the message said, but she was telling him that my gift has been paid for and it will arrive at the end of the party. She only found out after the party that I knew they were throwing me a party, so that part wasn’t a surprise. I was however, surprised by the gift she bought me. She bought me a car, a red Hyundai i20. It’s nothing fancy, but it was the best gift for me because it helped me a lot with my business. Travelling by taxi was difficult with these disrespectful taxi drivers.
The message Philani sent was clearly not meant for me. I was angry because he called her beautiful and amazing. What was amazing about her? She wasn’t even beautiful. Okay I’m lying, she was beautiful but there was nothing amazing about her. This message also proved to me that there was more going on between them than I thought. I have been nothing but loyal to Philani, he shouldn’t cheat on me. Don’t use what happened between the Pastor and me against me, according to Thandiwe’s definition of cheating, it doesn’t count as cheating. But on a lighter note though, he chose me; he told her that he doesn’t want to lose me. But he probably chose me because I opened my cookie for him, so was this was the only way I was going to keep my man happy? Tjo!
I wanted him to know that he sent the text to the wrong person, so I sent him an sms and simply said: “Love you sent the text to the wrong woman.” He didn’t respond after that. I called my sister to check up on her, she said she was fine but she was busy so she was going to call me later.
It was getting late, so I decided to cook supper. As I was chopping, Sihle came back, went to change and came to help me. I felt obliged to tell her that I was no longer a virgin. Sihle was the closest friend I have and unlike Tshiamo, she was not a judgemental fool.
Me: “I did the deed with Philani last night.”
Sihle: “Which deed?”
Me: “Sigwagwazile” (we had sex)
I didn’t look at her when I said this because I had always vowed to be a virgin until my wedding night, so I was afraid of what she might say.
Sihle: “Yoh how did he manage to melt the virgin ice-queen?”
Me: “I don’t know. I guess it was bound to happen at some point, and he was getting tired of our non-sexual relationship.”
Sihle: “Okay, how are you feeling now that you’ve had sex?”
Me: “I don’t know how I feel. Part of me feels guilty, I feel like I have turned back on everything I believe in. But it was good to see Philani happy.”
Sihle: “So you were doing this for Philani?”
Me: “Yes, I was doing it for him. Although a part of me thinks I made a hasty decision, I know that I have always been inquisitive and wanted to have it already. Besides my Christian conviction, I think I didn’t want to have sex because we were told that a man would quickly marry you if you didn’t give it to him. That hasn’t worked for me, so I had to try another method.”
Sihle: “I’m happy that you guys have taken the next step in your relationship, but never use sex to manipulate a man. You can’t use sex as a method to get a man to marry you. Even if you give him sex every day and night, he won’t marry you if he isn’t ready.”
Me: “Okay I hear you but I think if sex doesn’t get him ready, then he will never be ready.”
Sihle: “I guess love will get him ready. Hlengy do you realise that you are 22 going on 23? You aren’t 42, so I don’t understand why you are worried about getting married. Philani will marry you when he is sure that you guys are both ready for that step. Don’t rush for marriage, wait and it will happen in the right time.”
You see why I love Sihle? She was able to speak sense and make you see your wrongs without making you feel bad or judged. What I didn’t understand about her was the fact that she wasn’t bothered whether she gets married or not, she was chilled about marriage. Which was totally weird for a Christian girl. Most of us Christian girls sizifunela imishado ande siyifuna manje hayi ksasa (want to get married and we want to get married now). We don’t have time to wait on the Lord. Married couples parade their happiness at church, even on social networks. How can we not want that? They post their beautiful pictures, happiness is evident. Posting a picture of myself and Philani on social networks normally gets me an average of 150 likes, but when this other couple from church post their picture they get an average of 300 likes. Guys it’s not even about the likes, but what I’m trying to show you guys is that marriage is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t even help us that the elders at most churches treat marriage like a massive achievement. One could buy a brand new car, a house and get promoted at work all in one week, and another one get engaged or married, people will congratulate the married one more than the one with the new car. That is the reality in the church of today.
While we were talking my sister called me, we spoke about her pregnancy. I also told her about what happened with Philani. She was shocked and happy at the same time.
Thenjiwe: “How was it dear?”
Me: “It was painful, very painful.”
Thenjiwe: “What did you expect? It was your first time, it will get better with time. You will enjoy it very soon. You must learn new things in the bedroom ke, so that you don’t both get bored. You must watch porn to familiarise yourself with different styles.”
I shrieked in shock, and Thenjiwe laughed.
Thenjiwe: “What? Nana I’m telling you, you must teach yourself new things. We will talk when you come and see me about this, but right now a priority for you should be going to your doctor and getting contraceptives that you prefer. You can’t always be sure that you will use a condom, so you have to be safe.”
Me: “We already have had sex without a condom but it was just once.”
Thenjiwe: “What? What will you do if you get pregnant? Do you know his HIV status?
Hlengiwe: “No, I don’t know his HIV status, but he is probably negative. I won’t fall pregnant because we bought the morning-after pill.”
Thenjiwe: “So you think getting morning-after pills is enough? What about HIV or other STI’s? Hlengiwe please don’t make me mad ne, you can’t have unprotected sex when you don’t know his status. To say he is probably negative is the most ignorant thing I’ve heard you say. Please take that man of yours to the nearest clinic and both check your status. Don’t make me come and get you.”
After saying this she hung up, she was obviously angry. I made a mental note to go to see a doctor very soon. What my sister said hit me hard. I didn’t know whether Philani was negative or not. I didn’t want my sister to be stressed about me, so I sent her a text, assuring her that I would go to see a doctor first thing in the morning. Her response was: “Okay, you better do that!”
I decided to call Philani, the phone was answered by a woman. Yoh, I immediately turned red with anger, who was that now? I don’t think there is a woman who would say she doesn’t get uncomfortable when she calls a man and a woman answers. You never know how to react to that. You might be rude, then it turns out it was his sister or friend and we all don’t want to appear as rude and insecure girlfriends to his family and friends. I chose to be polite, Philani already thought I was dramatic, so I didn’t want to prove him right.
Me: “Hello, how are you?”
Girl: “I’m fine thanks and you?”
Me: “I’m good. May I please speak to Philani?”
Girl: “Okay, hold on.”
She called him and he came. If he was so close by why did she then answer this call? Some girls are just disrespectful.
Philani: “Hi Angel. I know you are angry about the text I sent you, I’m sorry but it’s not what it seems.”
Me: “Philani don’t Angel me right now. You have alot of explaining to do regarding the sms. But I’m not calling you about that. I want us to have an HIV test, and I also want to get contraceptives.”
Philani: “I think you read my mind. I wanted to tell you to start using contraceptive because I don’t want to use a condom. Why should we do an HIV test though? Baby you know I’m negative.”
Me: “No, I don’t know that Philani, I want to be 100% sure, or else we will never have sex again.”
He agreed with me and promised that he will take the day off on Friday, then we will be able to go.
I went back to the kitchen, and I heard Tshiamo’s voice coming from the lounge. Sihle was in the kitchen minding her own business, so who was she talking to?
Me: “Who is Tshiamo talking to?”
Sihle: “She is talking to her boyfriend Mlu.”
I went to the lounge to greet them, and they were busy kissing and touching. I became very disgusted phela this was the same Mlu that impregnanted Thando. Must I confront him before he hurts my friend? Should I tell Tshiamo or Thando? Or should I just mind my own business?