“Ohhh hell to the flippen no, I am not going back to Joburg! We are here on holiday, we are here to enjoy ourselves and Mthobisi will be mad at us if we go back to Joburg, after all the trouble he went through.” Cleo said. Shem my friend loves free holidays she was not going to let this one go just like that. “That’s very noble of you Rock Star but I know how stubborn my husband can be, he has a plan and the last thing I want is to interrupt his plans. He is aalready blaming me for everything that is going wrong in our lives so I am going to stay put and let him handle this one himself.” I said giving She Rocks a heartfelt ‘thank you’ smile . “I couldn’t agree more” said Andiswa. It was agreed that we would stay in Cape Town and let Mthobisi handle his shit, for once I was going to be an obedient wife and obey my husband’s wishes.
We stopped at the garage to buy snacks for the mini-road trip, I decided to stop worrying about my husband, he is a big boy after all and was more than capable of taking care of himself. My sister said she got an sms from Lwazi’s mom telling her that Lwazi has indeed booked himself into rehab, this shit was really serious I thought. “What’s he addicted to, lies and bullshit?” She Rocks asked “Don’t go there it’s a very sensitive topic, my head almost got bitten off for that” Cleo said. You can never have more three females in one room or in one car for that matter and have all of them get along, it’s impossible. There will always be the two who can’t stand each other but will tolerate each other for the sake of others and this is why all-female bands never work. There will always be that one female who thinks she is better than the others and doesn’t need the rest, and will break out and release a solo album and the rest that were dependant on her will be on their own, exposed for their inability to sing. “I’m going to play some music, where is your aux cable Rock Star?” She handed me her bag and her phone and said I should play music from her phone. We played music and sang along to old school music, each time someone sang off key we would laugh at them. It was mostly Naledi who was badly off so we spent most of the time laughing at her.
There were beautiful views and we made a couple of stops where we would stop to take pictures, we were proper tourists. When we saw a shopping complex we decide to do food shopping as we didn’t have any food and didn’t know if the house had any food. By what Mthobisi said it seemed like the house was hardly ever used, only used during holidays so obviously whatever food was in the house was probably expired by now. The last thing we wanted was stomach aches and diarrhoea while we were on holiday. We bought meat and fish and veggies to make salads and since we were all ladies we didn’t have to worry about cooking pap. I don’t know what it is about pap but most black men love pap. I know of a guy whose wife made him salads and meat and no pap because she said pap was causing the guy to be fat, the guy was so angry he called the lady’s family and told them to come get their daughter because she was becoming a coconut just because he moved her to the suburbs. He insisted that they both grew up on pap and didn’t see the big deal about pap now that they were older. That marriage ended in divorce all because of pap. We also hit the bottle store and bought lots and lots of alcohol, there was no kind that we left out. We were planning on getting hammered.
After a long drive stopping here and there, we finally arrived at the place. Mthobisi had given us a number to call and said it’s the neighbour’s and they have the key to the house. We called the number and some white man said he would be there shortly to drop off the keys. The thing about these beach houses is your neighbour’s house is not a few feet away from your gate, it is a long walking distance; the guy had to drive to the place to give us the keys. He was an old man with grey hair and he asked if it was just us girls who would be staying there. We all gave him different answers at the same time, some said ‘yes’ and others said ‘no’, it must have been very confusing for him because he turned and thanked us and instead of walking towards the gate to leave he walked towards the house. We all stood there watching him with neither one of us saying anything until he got to the door and mumbled “wrong house”. We all turned and looked at She Rocks because we knew at any moment she would burst out laughing, when she realised that we were all watching her she put on a straight face which I could see was very difficult for her. The old man said “enjoy your stay, call if you need anything” as he stepped out of the gate. As soon as he closed the door to his car She Rocks burst out laughing she was laughing so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. Cleo, Andiswa and myself could not control ourselves when it came to She Rocks’s laughter, it was so contagious that you would also just find yourself laughing uncontrollably. My sister was a bit annoyed by us, “You guys are stupid, I honestly don’t see what’s funny” she said, as she walked to the door to go and open with the keys the old man had given us. She tried a few but none of them opened. “Shit, I think he gave us wrong keys, probably his house keys. Bloody old people” my sister said, we laughed even more. I grabbed the keys from her laughing and tried three and the fourth one opened. “You the old person” I said to my sister laughing at her”.
The house was magnificent, we went from room to room it had two big, beautiful kitchens, two sitting areas, a lounge, a bathroom downstairs, then upstairs’ were five bedrooms and they were all en-suite, there was a passage upstairs where you could walk outside onto the roof and on the roof was the biggest and most gorgeous swimming pool I had ever seen. There were pool beds around it where you could sit and relax and when you’re standing at the pool you could see further down in the beach. The house itself was right across from the beach. “If I stayed in a house like this I would never stress about anything, these people have made it in life guys, they are done.” Cleo said admiring the view of the beach, I couldn’t agree with her more; this was the life that I wouldn’t mind living. We all stood there in awe of this gorgeous house and thought these were the luckiest people to have such a beautiful house. We stood there for about fifteen minutes, the place was really beautiful.
We went back downstairs and went to the car to go fetch our bags and we all choose rooms. The best room was the one that had sliding doors that lead to the pool area and we all wanted that room, so we decided to do a draw as we were all fighting over that room. As luck would have it, Andiswa won the draw. She then said she is giving me the room because when Mthobisi comes it would be a nice room for us. It was very kind and thoughtful of her and there was no way I was going to decline her offer so I accepted. We put our bags in the rooms then decided to go hit the beach. We went to the beach and played in the water like young kids, we were having the time of our lives, we were care-free and it felt good to be out and about not worrying about anything. After the fun at the beach when the sun was setting, we went back to the house and decided we would have a fish braai. We put fish on the foil and made a braai fire on the braai stand, we also made salads. Two would go shower while the other three stayed behind to make sure that the fish didn’t burn.
When I went to my room I checked my phone and saw I had seven missed calls from Mthobisi, I immediately called back with my heart beating s0 hard thinking something had happened to him. The first thing he said when he answered was “where have you been? I have been trying to get hold of you and you all are not answering your phones I even called the landline and no answer which means you were not at the house.” I tried to digest what he was saying, “what are you talking about?” I asked getting annoyed I told him of how I had tried to get hold of him when I had landed in Cape Town and his phone kept ringing and also got dropped and then switched off while I was calling him, he told me that he had a very busy day and couldn’t attend to my call at the time. I didn’t even want to ask what he was busy with I just reminded him that I was on holiday and not in prison and he didn’t say I was coming to Hermanus to be a security guard and stay in the house and not go anywhere. “A few hours in Cape Town and my wife is already giving me lip.” I wanted to say “whatever” and hang up the phone but knowing my husband he would be on the first flight to Cape Town to make me apologize, so instead I calmed myself down and told him that I was sorry I had missed his calls and asked what the emergency was, he told me there wasn’t any emergency he was just calling to check up on me to see if we had arrived safely, he could have just texted all of that instead of making it seem like the house was on fire or something bad had happened. We spoke for a while, I told him what we had gotten up to since we arrived and promised to give him a call before I go to sleep. I then showered, washing the salty water and the beach sand off me. When we were all finally done showering, we dished up and went to sit outside to have our dinner at the poolside area with the beach as our view. Damn, this was the life! She Rocks and Andiswa decided to swim at the pool after diner to cool down, the rest of us were too tired to even think of doing anything else. All I wanted was a bed and after washing the dishes, Cleo, my sister and myself went straight to our rooms and left She Rocks and Andiswa swimming.
I passed out and was woken up by what sounded like foot steeps outside my room, at first I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or what the hell was happening. I tried listening harder and there were definitely footsteps outside my door and I had the room with the sliding door with no burglar proof, all they needed to do was break the glass door and they would be inside my room. I got out of bed and luckily I had left the door open so I didn’t make noise opening it and tip-toed to the next room where Cleo was. Her door was closed I tried opening it but it was locked, shit! I moved on to the next room my sister was sleeping in, her door was not locked or closed so I got in and shook her. I saw that she was about to scream so I put my hand on her mouth and signalled for her to keep quiet. “I think we are being robbed.” She popped her eyes out and said signalled for me to remove my hand off her mouth, as soon as I removed my hand away from her mouth there was a huge banging and shouting in every door and every window in the house, “Police, open up! we are giving you two minutes to open and if you don’t open we will break our way in.” I remembered how I had heard on the news that police now shoot to kill and I didn’t want to be part of that statistic so I jumped up and said I was coming to open. By now all the girls were awake so we all walked downstairs confused as to what the hell the police wanted from us, especially in Western Cape since we were not known in these parts of town. As I was about to open the door Cleo shouted “show us something that proves that you are police.” We could hear them laughing from outside and they flashed something through the peeping hole, I don’t know if it was the real police identity or what and by the looks of things neither one of us knew what the real police identity looked like. so we all just assumed that it was real and agreed that I should open before we get shot at. I opened the door and about twenty guys came flooding into the place. One of them came to my sister and I and said “between the two of you which one is Lesedi Jumbe” My sister and I look so much alike people think we are twins she lifted her hand and said it was her. He took out a phone and dialled and put the phone on speaker. “hello” it was Mthobisi’s voice on the other end, the guy said “We have your wife and her friends. Did you think Hermanus was too far from us, you just made things easier for us, we are going to show you something, switch your phone to FaceTime. He said turning his phone around so it could capture what was going on when I turned to look to where he was pointing the phone, there was a guy who was carrying an axe and he had a lighter and was burning the sharp side of the axe with the lighter the same way Mthobisi’s mom had done it. “That my friend is for your wife, are you going to watch while we chop her in pieces.” We all screamed our lungs out when we heard that.