There is this thing that men do where they want to act as though they can think of us. I swear I know enough girls who cannot think without their boyfriends saying yes or now. I did not want to be that girl. I had gone to school to get an education meaning I could think for myself. If I had a submissive gene I guess Mudenda killed it with his betray. No excuses though, I wanted to stand on my own two feet and I wanted a man who respected that. I was not born to worship bae I was born to be an equal to anyone out there. He was seriously waiting for an answer which made him even more annoying nowm why was I changing so fast on what I had thought of him before coming on this trip. I did not want to make the mistake of losing a great guy because I now had insecurities. Insecurities and trust are baby mama territory. We were betrayed once hence we do not like the thought of being fooled twice.
“Thulare I like you. I like you so much that I believe with time there I nothing I will not do for you!”
“BUT, and I mean this in the politest way, I do not have to tell you everything I do! When I dated Mudenda I worshipped so much I did anything and everything he wanted. Look where that led me? I am not comparing you to him in any way but please don’t listen in on my conversations. It’s rude. Next think you will be asking to see my whatsap and call logs.”
I said to him sternly yet again.
“I was just asking. Why are you getting all serious? So are you saying that if I have a question I should not ask because I should be scared of asking questions?”
He asked me. I could feel the tension in the car. For a young guy this was already showing that he could be too intense.
“No that’s not what am saying!”
“Well sounds like to me! What then are you saying? All I asked was what it was Meladi should not find out about and that’s how you react! You making me wonder now!”
Was I the one who was over complicating thing.
“He does not want to me to tell Meladi that I allowed him to sleep with Amo for one night.”
“He said he wanted to be with his son and also know how it feels like!”
I said to him. Lying is usually the easiest way out of a situation.
“I think we are misunderstanding each other. I won’t ask any more questions about your trip. I am sorry!”
He said. If he was trying to make me feel guilty it was working. Now he was the one trying to use reverse psychology on me but it did not really go far. I needed to stand my ground otherwise in future, if we had one, we would suffer. I kept quiet and fell asleep at some point which at some levels must have been rude considerring we were still talking but who am I kidding I was exhausted. I only woke up as we entered via the Diepsloot side meaning I was almost home.
“Would you like to eat something before you get home?”
He asked me once he saw I was up. I said no because Amo could not stay in the car any longer. I called my mother to ask where she was and she said she was not there. She had taken my sister to my aunts place because she felt my sister needed someone she could talk to after all that hadd happened to her. I was home alone then. I told Thulare this and he smiled. He had never been in my house before and I could see he really wanted to enter. This was a good sign right. He helped me with the bags and Amo. Amo woke up on briefly and ate but was soon sleeping again. This boy could sleep. At the beginning I used to think he was sick or something but my mother said I should not worry because as a baby I probably slept more than he did. When we were done we cleaned up together. I called my mother and she said that they will only be back in the evening. This was my chance.
I went and changed and put on some shorts as I was hot. I then came back and went straight to Thulare and sat on top of him.
“What are you doing?”
He asked me.
“What do you mean what am I doing? I am sitting on my man’s laps and I am about to fool around with himm what do you think I am doing?”
I asked him. What kind of stupid question was that though? It was time to verify whether this man really had a child because he seemed clueless. We started kissing. He was so responsive and even in the way he kissed you could tell he cared about what he was doing. I was not just some piece of ass to him. He took off my top and I panicked, what if I had scratches or love bites from yesterday with Mudenda.
I said to him but he kept on kissing,
I said again then he pulled back reluctantly and asked why?
“My neighbors like showing up unnanounced and they have a key. They are meant to check on my sister when she is with Amo because Judith too can need baby sitting at times!”
I lied through my teeth there.
“Let me put on a skirt, this was if someone was to walk in or knock it won’t take long to cover up!”
I said cleverly. He actually bought that and for the third time today I was changing outfits. What is it about children enjoying having sex in their parents house? I swear once we are home alone and we have a boyfriend who stays around we call him over so that we can get some. It has to be disrespectful but who cares.
“Why are you still dressed?”
I teased him when I walked back in. He laughed and reminded me that I had just warned him of my neighbors so why would he be naked. I had already forgotten the lie. This time we were both standing. I went to him again and kissed him passionately. He was touching my body and at some point I felt him put his hands under my skirt. He carressed me all the way up until his hands were cupping my ass,
“I see you not wearing underwear already?”
He said and I mumbled in the affirmative. No talking please. I want to feel my body not hear it. I hate people who talk during sex. Let your hands and fingers do that for you.
“I think it is so sexy…”
I stopped him as I went lower now to take off his pants, or lower them at least. I am ashamed to admit this but on some level I had thought his reluctance to be intimate was because maybe he had a small dick or it didn’t work. Which guy really waits for his girlfriend to initiate.
“No love please dont!”
He said when I was fishing it out. See what I mean about that reluctance. He was hard already and this is when I stopped. Something indeed was wrong.
I said out loud. I think I embarrassed him a bit because he stepped back to try cover up. Unfortunately for him, we were standing too close to the couch meaning he fell back on to it.
He said. I was not judging but I won’t lie, I was concerned, for my health that it!
Thulare’s dick was the biggest I had ever seen. I swear he was hung like a donkey and there is no way in hell that thing was going to fit inside me! He needed a pornstar or those village bicycles we all know. That thing would tear me apart. I even stopped being horny but if I stopped fooling around with him it would look like I had judged him harshly.
“Is it heavy?”
I asked. I couldn’t help it but I knew the answer to that. It was like that question that guys like asking girls with big breasts,
“Are they heavy!”
Dumbness I tell you. I already foresaw a problem with us, there will be not active sexlife here because every time would be a war. I had opened his pants to go down on him so I was not going to stop now. Unfortunately for me, only the head fit in otherwise I would be gagging in moments. I did not want that. I decided that the best thing for us to do was to make him cum meaning hopefully he won’t want sex afterwards. Talk about sacrificing my poor mouth. I gave him a handjob whilst my mouth was around his knob.
“Tell me before you cum because I don’t…”
I wanted to say but I felt him tense up and before I could remove my mouth he held me in place strongly and he came into my mouth! It felt like it took forever as I struggled to break free! When he eventually let go I ran to the bathroom to spit it out!
“What the fuck was that?”
I asked him angrily when I got back into the sitting room where he was putting his thing back in.
“Did you want me to squirt onto your mother’s white rug?”
He asked me. I lost energry right there and then because he had a point.
“Next time warn me!”
I retorted angrily.
“Is there going to be a next time really?”
He asked sarcastically I think I don’t know but it was like he had given up on me already.
“What are you on about?”
I asked him.
“Look I saw the reaction you gave when you saw how big I was. I get it. A lot of girls think I am greatest guy in the world until they see this and automatically I am a bad guy. You girls think sex is love so when a guy is like me, I get cheated on because they say they can’t have sex with me, I hurt them!”
He said in almost a whisper. It actually sounded really sad.
“Can’t you get it fixed or can’t we use lube?”
I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself man. It’s a turn off! That dick belongs to me and I am going to tame it!”
I said and went to him and kissed him. Deep down however I was asking myself,
“Can I have a relationship with no sex or very little of it?”
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
First of all Mike thank you so much for this platform, We really need this as a society especially young women.
I am a 25 year old industrial engineering graduate (NDIP),and just recently completed my Btech graduating again early nextyear.Mike I am Afraid my life may be headed the Mary-Jane way of BEING MARY-JANE. When you know you done made your family and everybody else around you proud but yourself. Thing is my love life just aint happening. I am not sure if weather its just me being afraid of being in a relationship all together or God has just not brought the right brother my way or what. Almost all my friends are in serious relationships, have kids (not all),some getting lobolared and everything seems to be going well for them and shit,even though their partners cheat on them sometimes and they still stay(ride or die I guess). I am happy for them all. But me on the other hand aint 100% happy at all love life wise. I am currently talking to this brother ive known since my varsity days, very sweet, respectful and also an industrial engineer from Swaziland..but I feel like me and him just have got no chemistry or whatsoever. He is all kinds of sweet so any girl would be really lucky to have him as their man. This Swati brother is most definitely gonna get tired and quit coz its been long re bolela and I feel like its unfair for him to just be on his toes for this long(3years). I have also recently just joined an engineering consulting firm and Mike the brothers there are all kinds of fine. Olivia Pope and associates called themselves gladiators in suits(sorry I watch a lot of tv),But there um talking Engineers in suits which is something that hardly ever happen. I am the new and youngest within the organization so all these pitbulls have obviously been giving me weird winks and smiles and shit.But one could tell a lot of them are in their early 30s,maybe mid 30’s which simply means they are all either married, got kids, or maybe in serious long term relationships.
Now My questions to your readers are as follows:
1.Could I be missing a chance to ever be happy with my Swati gentleman, should I give him a chance still?
2.Do you guys think its possible to meet a brother who is single and available in a work place?
3.Could there be something wrong with me being that last tym I was in a serious relationship was in 2010?
4.And lastly can any of you relate to my story?
Apologies for such a long essay