How do you tell whether a guy could be abusive in future? I know what Lunga was saying but can you ever really predict that stuff. What if him driving was just out of a pure heart? It’s like a man saying that just because a girl likes wearing short skirts she is either a whore or a cheat? Maybe I was being a a bit harsh on him. From day one he had shown me nothing but kindness. Is it even possible that a good guy like this could be single? What was wrong with him? These were all the questions that where going through my mind.
“Are you going to tell Mudenda you are leaving?”
Aurelia asked me and I told no because it would mean going to his room. I told her I couldn’t face him after last night and we all laughed at the awkwardness of this moment.
“You guys why didn’t you stop me last night?”
I asked them.
“You needed to get laid dude! You had been uptight and cranky for a long time now so something had to give!”
Aurelia said immediately.
“I second that Faith but don’t worry your secret is safe with us!”
Lunga chirped in and they both laughed. I got embarrassed. How could Aurelia be fine with the fact that I had seen her fiances dick? This marriage was not going to last because these white tendencies are not for black people. Is this what they call swinging? I read somewhere that in America swingers are found in 35 percent of all married couples and are attributed to why the divorce rate slowed down in that country? Disgusting but true! Your husband and you get to sleep with another husband and wife team and the argument is that it’s not cheating because you all consented and get to try new things! Who says Jesus is not coming back soon? If the bible is true then surely America goes to hell first!
“Guys let me go. He is waiting in my room. I don’t want him thinking that I was misbehaving elsewhere!”
I said. I went and hugged Aurelia and crap, she was still naked in be meaning Lunga was too.
“I am not hugging you!”
I said and again we laughed. I walked out and went to my room and Lunga was sitting holding Amo.
“He was crying just now!”
He reported when I entered. This kid and pooping though! Can’t wait for an age where he will be potty trained.
“I just need to change him!”
I told him. He said he would do it for me whilst I finished packing. He wanted to hit the road early before it got too hot. He was right. North West is as hot as Pretoria if not hotter which makes them both hotter than Limpopo. With Amo in the car it was safer therefore to avoid the heat. I felt sorry for him as he cleaned Amo up because this kid can deliver a bomb. The whole room was smelling. He must have very strong gag reflexes. He seemed to do it with a smile and I could hear him giving Amo instructions on how to be a man and not poop in his pants. He was joking of course. We finished right around the same time. I went downstairs and checked out.
Now it was just the two of us in the car.
“I am sorry about calling you that late last night. We had wine with Aurelia and Lunga. I just felt lonely and wanted you there with me!”
I said as soon as the car started moving. I did not want a situation where he spoke first then I had to explain myself. Call it beating him to the punch.
“Besides I am told that if your girl does not drunk dial you then she is not your girl to start with!”
I added sweetly. He smiled and said he understood but warned me that in future drinking like that was not a good thing especially in the situation I was in. He was just so sweet.
“Look, I don’t mind you drinking but how do you think I felt knowing that you were with that dooshbag, drunk doing God knows what and then you tell me you are horny?”
I had not thought of it that way when I had told him that,
“I totally would have had phone sex with you by the way but what if it had made you more horny. You would have walked out of your room to ge some that’s for sure!”
He said. I knew what he meant but I did not want him to give more reason to go on.
“I am so useless and do you want to know what’s worse, I can’t remember what it is I actually said? How badly did I embarrass myself?”
I asked him. I don’t know why guys always buy that line when a girl says that. I won’t even speculate. I knew it would embarrass him and he would not say it back.
“It’s not important now. It was for that moment I guess!”
He said changing topics. Who was this guy thought? I was going to poke a bit more and find out. Thulare was not the strong silent type so to speak but he had a steadiness about him that was at times unnerving. I almost felt as thought I could not put my foot wrong. I just could not understand why.
“What time did you leave Jhb to come here? And what made you come? Not that I don’t appreciate it but fuel is expensive?”
I asked him. It was a fair question considering I had people bringing me home later. He could have visited me there. He made an excuse about wanting to surprise me but I was not buying. We needed to establish boundaries in this relationships now a opposed to later. People do it wrong often, how do you date a guy six months before telling him that there is something you don’t like? Bringing it up six months later means you are changing the dynamic of your relationship and often it leads to fights which are all your fault. All along in his head he was doing the right thing and one morning you wake up and say no, you hate it. That’s why men say we are complicated. We show them one side of us then when it suits us we change our minds.
“I don’t like surprises though. Please next time tell me before you come.”
I told him.
“I thought I was being sweet since you invited me to come with in the first place and I could not make it!”
He said a bit surprised and I reckon it was over the fact that I had said that.
“We are not kids who need to surprise each other. If you had said you were coming I would have heard you just as well!”
I told him sternly but politely.
“You would have said don’t come and told me about fuel and what not?”
He said and I responded,
“Yes possibly I would have but I would still have preferred it that way. We not fighting love, I am just telling you about the person that I am and how I prefer things!”
I explained to him. I could see he wanted to argue but it was not working. Instead he focused on the road and for a good thirty minutes he did not utter a word. I had even forgotten and was starting to dose off when he said,
“So how were things with Mudenda?”
He asked me so casually. It was as though he was trying to pry without being forward and after our little fight it felt forced but the nigger did not know that I had an answer prepare for that already,
“It was a waste of a trip because we did what we do best and that’s fight. Every time we spoke I had to make sure that Aurelia and Lunga were there because if they were not I would have killed that evil bastard!”
I told him. I had to sound angry because every guy likes to hear how much you hate your ex. I don’t know if it makes them feel powerful or what but the irony is, they don’t hate their exes and usually on some level still talk to them. It’s just us women who are forced to sacrifice because of their paranoia.
“At least you know that he is a bastard. That’s all that you need to know!”
He said. A smile crept on the edges of his mouth but as quickly as it formed he removed it.
“Oh well it’s life. Had never been to Sun City before so that’s a positive. It’s a beautiful place and next time I would like to go with people I actually want to be there with…”
I said then added,
And laughed. He laughed too and said we should arrange it then. This was my opportunity so I took it.
“I know you said I shouldn’t ask but are you ever going to tell me about what happened to the baby of your child?”
I asked him. I could see the smile on his face disappear immediately. He really did not want to open up about her.
“I said I will tell you in my own time and not now. I am not one that easily opens up and I take time to warm up so please bear with me.”
He said. Basically he had just said NO but only with nicer words. This was going to be harder than I thought. I needed to ask Tidimalo what was up. I had not spoken to him since he told me his girlfriend did not want us to talk. I still don’t get why as girls we do that. Maybe I should find any females that Thulare talks to and tell him that he is not allowed to talk to them. That would be mean though because I don’t know how long they have known each other.
“You have gone quiet again Thulare kante why is it every time I ask you do this?”
I asked him 15 minutes later after he had not said a word.
“Drop it Faith!”
“I already told I will tell you at some point so stop forcing it!”
I had never heard him lose his temper like this and it was quite unnerving. I really had pissed him off. Mudenda then called. My phone had been in the middle of the car so when it rang Mudenda saw the caller Identity.
“How could you just leave without saying bye?”
He said angrily. Thulare lowered the car radio for me to be able to hear me clearly.
“Why should I say bye Mudenda? You did not come with me. Thulare came to pick me up and we driving back now!”
I told him.
“He had no right to do that? I am the one who invited you. I wanted to discuss something important with you since last night we never got a chance!”
Blah blah blah he went on about how he could not say it on the phone, we will have to meet and discuss it.
“Please don’t tell Meladi what happened. Even if you and I fight and you are angry at me, can it be our secret. That’s all am asking for?”
He said just before he concluded. How dumb did he think I was though to go report to Meladi that I had fucked “our” man? I was not about to do that.
“What is it you must not tell Meladi?”
Thulare asked me!
I hate it when men eavesdrop on my phone calls!
That’s why he had lowered the volume, so he could listen in!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
First I would like to say thank you for the time and effort that you put on your books. They are so addictive. everyday i just have to get my daily dose so big ups mike.
I will try to be short. I am a 25 year old female. I have 2 kids (same father). My problem is that me and the baby daddy always argue and we argue even about small tongs. We just dont get along. Now his parents know that i have a 2nd baby with him and they expect him to marry me. They have showed me so much love.. Every time when we are at his parents house the baby daddy and I always get along so the parents have never seen us argue or see any tension between us.
Now i would not mind marrying him. He is a good guy and takes care of his kids and family .I just don’t know how do we move on from the arguments. Can that be mended? How can we get along. Lately its like we dont get each other. We get along for few days after we argue again and sometimes it get so bad that we even say nasty things to each other. Even if i dont get to marry him. I still want us to get along. i am confused coz now it seems like what ever i say sound wrong. We cant communicate without it ending wit an argument. Please help coz i really want to understand him for the children and I’s sake
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