When you are angry at someone the last thing you want is to walk in and find them sitting on your couch acting as though everything is fine in the world. That’s wrong and should not be entertained. I walked straight in and walked past her. My sister was surprised because she was sitting there holding Amo and I never walk past Amo. I just did not want Aurelia in my face. Not now. In fact I just wanted to be alone. I did not want to exist. What Thulare’s mom had said to me had surprisingly hurt me more than I thought. She had made me feel cheap, rural and dusty. It was as though I was not good enough to be a person. I know that South Africans can be tribalistic at times but not in Johannesburg. I had never ever experienced it before but I had most definitely heard of it. His argument was not strong enough for me. I had a job so why would the mother think I was coming to take food outside her sons mouth. Some mothers just need to grow up. The reality of most South African young women is that their mother in laws will never like them. It’s almost cast in stone and the reasons are often stupid. Why would you be jealous of the happiness of your own son? That’s ridiculous. I did not sit alone for long though. Eish, I really need my own place for moments like these.
“Why did you just walk past us?”
My sister said to me. She was standing at the door with Amo in her hands.
“Did you not see us?”
She asked again before I gave her my first response.
“Can I just have a moment alone please?”
I asked but she stood firm. She was not going anywhere by the looks of it so who cares that Faith needed to breathe.
“No my dear, here is Amo I have to go to the shops. When you are a mom you don’t get to have the luxury of having a moment alone unfortunately. Baby comes first!”
She said and handed Amo over to me. It’s not like I had forgotten that I was a mother. Why did she have to remind me like this every time we did not agree on something? It felt as though she was reminding me of how I fucked up in the first place to have him. Having a baby changes your life and yes we celebrate it and love our babies, the reality is it’s so tough and draining. You have to go to work and come back with enough energy still to bond with your baby. I know I looked forward to seeing my baby everyday but I would be lying if I said I was not often too tired for it.
“I will be back shortly don’t worry then I can do your mommy duties for you!”
She said sarcastically. She was annoyed by me; I could sense it in her voice but oh well what could I do. I still had the other one to deal so I guess its better that my sister was stepping out.
“Are you not talking to me?”
Aurelia said having followed me to my room as well.
“If I pulled the stunt you just pulled on me would you still be talking to me?”
I asked her. She kept quiet and did not respond. Eish, this girl was like a sister to me. I loved her to death but this thing she wanted was making me question that.
“Do you realize that you want me to prostitute myself so that you can get ahead in life? I told you several times about the consequences of your relationship but you never seem to want to listen!”
I reminded her.
“Yes you told me but when I told you that you working there would be bad and you must quit you turned me down. Imagine if I had dumped him then where would that have left you? I am really sorry that I asked you to do this and yes it seems selfish of me but I really need this and you need this!”
I asked her.
“I like Thulare and all believe me I do but something is up with him and I know you see it. You will invest in a relationship that will eventually fall apart and you will have nothing to show for it!”
She explained. After meeting his mother a part of me agreed with what she had just said but I was not going to tell her now because it will only justify her arguments. How do you thate a man who is powerless against his mother? I know too many women who are in miserable relationships, married women at that because of their mother in laws. I know I am jumping the gun here a bit but truth be told, when you are a baby mama like me, thating should not just be for fun. You should thate a man who you hope his intention is to marry you at some point. You cannot still be opening your legs to every guy because you must have vision and direction that will benefit your child and yourself. That is how I viewed things. It’s not a death sentence having child alone but it most certainly should be a wakeup call.
“He will want to sleep with me Aurelia. How do you feel knowing that I slept with the same man you slept with? You are my sister. That’s not sitting well with me at all.”
I told her. I could see her sigh and try figure out what to say next. I don’t blame her because she knew without this contract she probably won’t get anything else for a long time. I have no doubt whatsoever that if Refiloe found out about her husband and her, she was going to destroy her and any future prospects she might have in that industry. She seemed to know everyone and she seemed to be vengeful enough to go on the war path.
“I know, I know, eish so what do we do? I can’t miss out on the contract. Must I just go back to him and beg him to take me back?”
She asked, sitting down next to me for the first time. Amo started playing with her hair.
“If you go back to him what about Lunga? What happens if he says dump Lunga?”
I asked her.
“I think I can control him for now. I just want to buy time. Once the contract is finalized then I don’t need him anymore!”
She said rather coldly. This was not the Aurelia I had grown up with. This was lean and mean and only thought about herself.
“Do you realize that if Refiloe finds out about him and me, it means that you will lose your job as well?”
She said. Ok now that one I had not thought of. We had all assumed that she would divorce him. What if she doesn’t? Shit! She would definitely know that I knew and she would ask him to fire me in case she wanted to fix things with him.
“Ah Aurelia why are you doing this to me? You know I need this job.”
I asked her. I had not thought of this at all and now that it was on the table the thought of the consequences made me panic.
“That’s why I said you should have resigned at the beginning!”
“Stop it Aurelia. You are using reverse psychology so I can blame myself for your predicament which now has become ours. He is not going to take this lying down and we might be sitting here discussing this for nothing. What if he has already told her?”
I asked her. Now I was scared. Now it was clear to me that when you keep someone else’s secret especially on cheating then you are just as bad as the person cheating. In fact, you might as well be cheating too.
“So what are we going to do about this?”
I asked her but didn’t give her a chance to respond as I went on to say,
“First thing you must do is stop him from talking to Refiloe about this. Secondly stop flaunting your relationship with Lunga in his face. Thirdly stop coming to the office to see Lunga. I mean what the hell are you thinking? Fourthly do not, and I repeat do not go to their house!”
I told her. I was now helping my friend cheat. I had fallen into that trap that most people are in which they are the alibi to their cheating friends.
“Ok cool but most of those things there are next to impossible.”
She said in her defence.
“Well you don’t have a choice. You have screwed us both over now we have to fix it.”
I told her. I heard the door open. It was my sister. She was back and she had someone else with her, that man, my father.
“Look who I found at the door?”
She said cheerfully. Ah this man. I had almost forgotten that he existed. What did he want? I went to greet him. Aurelia greeted him too but said she was not staying. She announced that she was on her way out and I walked her to the car. We really had not achieved much with that discussion. Thulare called but I ignored his call. In fact I put the phone on silent so that I did not have to get irritated by his call.
“I am actually here for your mother. We have some things to discuss about you? Is she back yet?”
He asked. I could see that he still did not know what to say to me as h was not looking me in the eye. That’s my father for you. Can’t even face his own daughter this man.
“She is late actually. Was she expecting you sir?”
I asked him.
“You can’t call me sir, I am your father!”
He said sternly.
“I know who you are supposed to be but I don’t know you!”
I said annoyed at his presumption that I would be ready to call him daddy after such a short time of knowing him. This is a title he will have to earn.
“I tried calling you a few times but you don’t pick up your calls. Your mother said you got a decent job. Congratulations.”
He said. Yes he had called and I always ignore his calls. It’s not that I was coming from a mean place but I had no idea what to say to him.
I heard a car pull up. Thank heavens too because I was running out things to say. I figured it was my mother until the person knocked. If it was another of my mother’s guests then they would have to entertain each other. My sister went to open as she was closest to the door.
“She is in the lounge!”
That meant the person was here from me and I knew who it was, those missed calls. People should learn to stay ignored when someone wants space. He walked into the lounge but before he could say anything, he saw my dad. I thought he would run until he said,
“Malume, what are you doing here?”
Thulare asked. What was he talking about now? Who was he calling Malume?
My father said in disbelief!
“You two know each other?”
I asked now confused by all this movement of things.
“Yes, he is my sister’s son!”
My father said confidently.
Wait… that would make him my brother right?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hello fellow readers. I’m a 22yr old and in a relationship with a 36yr old man, he was all nice and caring at 1st and I fell in love with that. when we started dating he said he is divorced and doesn’t have anyone at the moment then fine we continued that without problems and eventually moved in together during our stay 2geda 1day we went out drinking and he received a call 4rm a lady they talked for about 3minutes and in the end of the conversation they exchanged the LOVE word because he thought I was too drunk to hear. I waited till the morning to confront him about it and he said yes she is his gf and they have a kid but things are rocky and they are on da verge of breakup and they don’t even talk that much since I was already in 2deep I believed him and ever since that day I never heard them talking and I believed they are ova until early dis year when he had 2 move 2 Pta 4 work and I had 2 stay in Plk and I moved 2 my parent’s house cos I was pregnant and he seemed happy what da pregnancy. He got 2 Pta and moved in 2geda what that lady cos she is working in Pta and I found out thru his change in behaviour and he also admitted that they are staying 2geda wen I confronted him, he doesn’t answer my calls at night nor on weekends I want 2 leave him but I’m scared that if I’m leaving him my now 3months old son will starve because I’m an unemployed graduate still looking 4 a job and I don’t have any source of income, he is my only provider. He is now very arrogant and full of himself, when he calls he is all nice and I just talk 2 him as thou nothing is wrong and I’m even scared 2 confront him about his treatment or 2 even give him an ultimatum. I’m basically a side chick baby mama but funny enough his lady also knows about my existence and da baby yet she doesn’t confront him about it, she saw our conversations and called me then I confirmed her suspicions but she kept her knowledge 4rm da guy. I can’t take his treatment anymore but what can I do in da financial state that I’m in? Should I just hold on until I find a job thou I’m not happy?
Apologies 4 da long letter.
Side chick baby mama