Lesedi and I where friends once upon a time. Look, it would be a lie if I say we besties or anything like but every now and again we found ourselves in the same circle. We had a mutual respect for one another but I would not rush to call her my friend. I don’t think we ever went out together one on one as there was always someone with me when we were together. At some point we drifted. Her husband had started to get into problems with the law and she got darker. I am not one for crime and blood so I decided to drift away. Clearly it was not far enough as now here I was in the centre of the operations. Toxic friendships lead you down a path of toxicity. It’s like being the only friend that does not drink in a crew. At the beginning you refuse to go out with them. Then you start going out with them out of concern and boredom making you the designated driver as your too scared for them to drive under the influence. Finally you starting taking sips and eventually you too can stomach alcohol. That’s what I call toxic and Lesedi was toxic. This had to be played out right. I stopped the car at the first opportunity I got as I needed to think. I am certain she was here to ask why I had been talking to her husband behind her back. This would be very embarrassing but the fact that Sizwe was there it would be worse. I had defied him when he said I must not talk to him and I am certain by default that also meant I must not talk to him either. I knew already there would be a lecture as to why she was there and why she must not come back again.
Eventually I got home. Her car was still in the drive way. I knew they saw my lights as soon as I turned into the drive way so I did not linger in it too long. Confront your demons so to speak.
“Hey, guys sorry I took so long! Traffic! Imagine a whole bridge falling what kind of nonsense is that!”
I said as I walked in. She stood up and I went over and hugged him. Sizwe was sitting down and I saw him check out her ass. Idiot! Sizwe always said that he will only ever check out other women when he was with me. I have actually never decided whether it was rude or not. Once in a while when we went out together he would point out all the hot women he saw or if he saw a nice outfit on a girl he would ask why I never dressed like that. It was usually playful and we would argue on the merits of her beauty or clothes. At the end of his lust filled moment he would then turn around and say,
“Just because I look, and only when I am with you that is, I know my woman is more beautiful than any of them combined!”
That was his line which made it even harder for me to think that I was being disrespected. Ladies, is your man allowed to look without touching?
“I was about to leave though. I have been here for a few hours and Sizwe and I got to catch up.”
She said. I was now feeling awkward. She had helped me with Lintle and I had not even bothered to go see her and say thank you properly. I know I had sent her a message but now I was getting that overwhelming feeling that maybe that had not been enough. I should have gone to her. I was now embarrassed on my own. I was not sure whether to bring it up myself or not.
“Did Sizwe give you something to eat or drink? I know him this one it’s usually the last thing on his mind when a beautiful woman is around!”
I said jokingly. It was an uncomfortable joke which made him immediately say,
“Ah come on love, why would I starve her! Let me go in the study to give you guys a chance alone!”
Into the study? Why didn’t he go upstairs or outside? I knew what he was doing! He was trying to eavesdrop and I could not chase him away. I was sweating.
“I am actually here to check on Lintle. I have already seen her. I am sorry that I have been so busy so I never came in to check on her after her ordeal.”
She said. That was really sweet of her. Wow the relief that went through me. I could still breathe for another day at least. She still had a heart besides all that drama in her life. Maybe she had not been fully swallowed by the dark side yet but that did not mean I could let her in.
“We taking it each day as it comes. She doesn’t want her father to know about it. I think it embarrasses her which makes it so difficult to bring it up with her to try talking her through it.”
I explained. Eish, I already had tears in my eyes. What had happened to my daughter really hurt me and it still hurt even now. I had failed to protect my daughter.
“I am sorry about this.”
She said. She came over and hugged me. I told her I was fine and that I had also had something to talk to her about. I think now was the best time to talk to her about Mxolisi. It was better she found out from me than from him.
“Can we go outside because I do not want Sizwe to hear us?”
I told her between my tears and in more of a whisper. She looked a bit puzzled but she agreed.
“Your husband came to see me today. I thought that is why you were here. He told me not to tell you about his visit or what he wanted but am so scared I don’t know what to do. I can’t even tell Sizwe!”
I told her.
“Then maybe you should not tell me!”
She said. Ok now that one surprised me. Did she already know because I for one would like to know if Sizwe visited one of my friends?
“I beg your pardon?”
I asked her very surprised by her response.
“If Mthobisi says don’t tell anyone, trust me on this, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to know either but thank you for being an honest person and bringing it up. I won’t tell him you wanted to tell me nor will I tell him I was even here just to make sure he does not suspect anything!”
She said and moved over to hugged a deeply stunned me. What the hell had just happened?
“I need to get my car keys and bag in the house!”
She said letting go of me and she walked in without another word.
“Sizwe I am leaving!”
She shouted from the sitting room. I was still standing there were she had left me. Was I missing something here? This is what I call blind loyalty. What if Mxolisi had tried to shela me? She did not even care about that she simply trusted her man? No maybe that’s not it. Maybe it was fear of him. I heard Sizwe come say bye and they walked out together to me still standing outside my own house.
“It was good seeing you Nothabo. You look good!”
She said. We hugged again and she got into her car and drove off.
“What did she want?”
That was the first question Sizwe asked when the car turned at the corner.
“She said she came to check on Lintle!”
I told him but he could see I was stunned.
“See why I keep saying we should move. When people like this just show up at your house then you know you have a problem!”
He said annoyed and he walked into the house leaving me standing there. Maybe he had a point. Maybe I had to sacrifice this and run away like he had suggested.
My phone was ringing in the house. My husband picked up the phone and called me.
“Says it’s Sibongile!”
For a second there I actually didn’t know who that was and then it clicked. My husband put her on speaker for some weird reason. This man, what was he suspecting?
“Sibongile how are you? What can I do for you?”
I asked her.
“I got your number from your father, eish, this is embarrassing. I am at Park Station. He said I should call you when I get here and you will pick me up!”
She said. What the hell?
“Pick you up and take you where?”
Sizwe asked her. There was a bit of silence before she responded and said,
“I don’t know. He said Ausi Nothabo would know!”
I wanted to laugh. My intended step mother was so young she called me ausi but this was not the time.
“I will call you back just now. Is that your number?”
I asked her. It was already late and dark so I am sure she was scared there.
“I don’t know what’s going so don’t ask!”
I said to Sizwe who was about to argue. I called my father and deliberately left it on speaker.
“Has she arrived?”
That was the first thing he said.
“What is she doing here? I told you she cannot come here! Are you trying to ruin my marriage? I have a husband I respect and I cannot bring my father’s girlfriends to my house. How can you do this?”
I asked him angrily. I know we are not supposed to shout at our father but fuck this man if he thought he could ruin my life like this. I was so unhappy right now.
“Well she is there and if anything happens to her it’s on you!”
He said and guess what, he hung up the phone! Just like that? I sat down and put my face into my hands and sighed.
“I will go pick her up.”
Sizwe said very calm. I was so ashamed right now in front of my own husband. I wanted to apologise to him but I did not even have the energy. People often underestimate the amount of pressure your extended family puts on your marriage. He picked up my phone and took her numbers.
He called out. She answered from her room and came out.
“You said you wanted Pomegranate Juice right, let’s go!”
He said. They left me sitting there and I don’t think Lintle greeted me. I am not sure now. I thought of calling my father again but what would it help.
An hour later they drove back in. She walked in with Lintle. My husband came in after them carrying a huge suitcase. Yes suitcase and not luggage! She really was moving to Jhb.
“I am so sorry about this. He did not tell me that you did not know about this!”
She said when she saw me. She had the same fear in her as the one she had when I first met her.
I said coldly. I had lost my appetite even.
“Mum who is this?”
Lintle asked. I did not even hesitate to respond,
“She is your grandfather’s girlfriend!”
“Say what! Claps once!”
Lintle said and burst out laughing and walked upstairs.
Men! Devils I tell you!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good day Bra Mike and team.
I would like to applaud you and Thozama for the wonderful work you are doing as the say a reading nation is a winning nation. I would like you to post my letter when there is no urgent letter that requires the reader’s attention.
Bra Mike I’m writing because of the recent letters of depressed unemployment youth that you have posted on your blog. I have been there I worked for a company for 4 years 7 months then they decided to retrench me. With a qualification and the experience I gained I struggled to find employment for two years I stayed at home during that period I was miserable lost all hope stopped praying and believing in God , I even went against my believe and consulted u mam pinga who told me that ” I need to get cleansed” for a month used Mam Pinga’s traditional medication Unfortunately there was no change I kept on applying for jobs but there was no call for interviews Instead Mam Pinga’s medication made me sick for two months I was in and out of hospital . For me that was a turning point because I started praying to God for forgiveness and for him to restore my health because at some point I would go to the clinic they would say nothing is wrong with me but I could feel that im not well . I prayed in the morning, afternoon and evening and each time a negative thought came to mind.
Until one day after I have updated my profile on the Pnet website I received a call from a recruiter who said she has a job for me that matches my profile she will submit my CV with them. Two days later I was invited for an interview on the morning of the interview my car battery decided to die on me being the woman that I am I didn’t know how to jump start a car the good Samaritan that is in my sister decided to borrow me her car and called in late and took a taxi to work . When I arrived at the interview it took 10 minutes and the job was mine. It was the 1st interview that I had gone to since I was unemployed. On that same day I started receiving calls for job offers and I was able to decline or accept and negotiate on a better salary. All that was through the grace of God.
The point that im trying to make is sometimes God puts us in situations where only he can get us out because he wants us to find him ,try him , know him have a relationship with him and that can only be done by praying invite him to intervene grant you peace , patience and wisdom while you wait on him . Invest in a bible if you don’t have one read it .”John 16 V 23-24 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth , my father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete.” Therefore taking your life is not the solution. Stand firm and take this test with God it shall pass he will see you through. Prayer under difficult circumstances is not easy but pray . Yena o dira tse di botse fela.
My apologies for the long letter and wrong spelling and grammar hope its not all over the place.