Realities – Chapter Sixty Eight

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Fear breeds misery and misery just loves company. I could look at this in two ways, consider this an adventure as my fate was already sealed. You know how criminals love spending money instead of laying low? Well now I know why. They know it’s only a matter of time before they get caught so they choose to have fun with it. That was me. After the first help I gave Mthobisi I would have lost everything so I might as well have fun. My second option was to go to the police and tell them everything. Depending on whether or not they worked for him, he would be arrested and I would be free. Ok that’s dumb, he would send someone after me. Thirdly, leave town for good and never come back. Sizwe might fall for it because he was already talking about moving house. Maybe I can push him all the way to leaving town. Only problem I foresaw was Lintle, she would definitely say no to moving. Then there was the last option, it was final and done right there would be no consequences. Imagine if I could kill Mthobisi Jumbe? No one would ever suspect me that’s for sure. Was I capable of that, on purpose?

I stood up from that chair with a start and laughed at myself.

“What are you thinking Nothabo, get a grip of yourself!”

I scolded myself for having such thoughts. What was happening to me really? To think that I can take out a gangster like this? I had grown bold indeed. I just want to have a normal life, away from all this drama. That’s all I wanted. The rest of that morning was a blur. It felt as though I had betrayed my conscience and myself. It felt as though I had already committed the crime hence everyone was looking at me. I felt dirty somehow. I had not taken so much time in my life building myself and my family like this in order to destroy all in the spur of a moment. I have never been an impulsive person and yes that includes on when I have made my mistakes. I always calculate the risk element first and if the positives outweigh the negatives. This thing with Mthobisi, no matter what would be a bad thing! My thoughts were short lived as one of my patients got worse. I had to rush to her aid but she died on my table. People really don’t understand what it takes to be a doctor. To live with life and death everyday is not a nice feeling and all and that is us everyday. This is one job that you lose yourself over and over again.

“I am sorry!”

That was the last thing I told her daughter who was a bit younger that Lintle. It’s not an easy thing to say to someone. She cried her lungs out right there and then. When I was younger I used to cry the moment someone else started crying. Now, other people’s tears don’t really affect me as much. Usually we get blamed as doctors for not doing enough to save a persons life.

I found myself sitting in the office with my head in my hands. I was so tired and I just wanted to rest. I did not want anymore drama for today. Just wanted to go home to my bed. I felt someone tap me from me from behind.

“Who was that hot guy you were sitting with Dr. Makgofa?”

Zethu said to me from behind. I jumped up a bit startled because I had been so far away in my thoughts.

“What guy?”

I asked her when she asked me a second time. I laughed at her and told he that she had such a radar for men. It’s like she knew when all new men entered my life. I told her that he was the husband of a friend and that he was out of bounds. She laughed with me and said I always had a way of spoiling all the fun in her life. Zethu wanted to know when we were going to that dancing class again. I told her that it was not going to b anytime soon as that one time had left me exhausted. I could still feel the pain in my calves so I was not going to be part of it again until I raised my fitness levels. I had enjoyed it though.

“Right this way sir!”

I heard someone say from outside the office. Who was being directed to us now. I really was not in the mood for anyone. It was not a visitor for Zethu because nurses would never do her that favor of bringing her guest to her. That’s what happens when you are mean to people, not that Zethu cared though.

“Hey sis!”

My brother said cheerfully as he entered the office. Of all the people in the world did it really have to be him mara? What was this fool doing here! I wanted to kill him and him being here just made the murderer in me rise. It was because of me trying to clean up his messes that I found myself here at this moment lost and confused.

“What do you want? Do you know how much trouble you got me into?”

I asked him as he came to me. I didn’t care that Zethu was here because she had heard me complain enough times about him. I don’t think they had ever met though. Her phone rang though and she picked it up and walked outside which was even better for me because it mean I could strangle him properly with no one to stop me.

“You are angry at me huh?”

He asked me walking in. Damn straight I was but he had this cheesy grin on his face that made me even more angry,

“Do you realize whose name I used? He came to see me and warn me never to use his name again!”

I told him. For a moment there I thought he would say that it was not his fault that I had used that name. My brother often had a smart answer ready when ever you spoke to him. Today however he was in a good mood and was very cheerful.

“I know and I am grateful. I only realized after I left that the guy you mentioned was the same guy with the money at the house!”

He said to me. It’s clear he knew that Mthobisi was bad news.

“Look on the bright side though because they are so many positives. 1 They said that I don’t have to pay back the loan. 2 This means I am a r1500 short to finishing my school fees and will get my results! 3 No one will ever mess with me again 4 I still have all my fingers and no broken bones. I mean what’s not to celebrate though? ”

I know he has many positives as he had called them in his little speech but the only one thing caught my attention in all he said. My brother is super secretive. You never know what’s going on with him until he tells you. Now he was expecting his results? How so? I didn’t even know he had written exams. To be honest I was not quite sure what he was studying even. I know he said he had tried to borrow money from me for school but with all the things he asks for, it had just got lost in translation.

“Do you think you passed?”

I asked him. After all had been said and done, according to him, we were in this mess because he wanted an education so let’s see if it was worth the trouble we had gone through, I didn’t have that much faith in him though because he was always a royal fuck up.

“I wouldn’t know unless I got the results so it will take me three months to raise the r1500. I will know then.”

He said with a smile on his face. I know exactly what he was doing. This was his way of asking for the remaining r1500. He knew it would make me feel guilty if I could not spare him such little money.

“So you are here to ask for money then? Do you ever change though Kgosi?”

I asked him. It’s easy to feel like I was being harsh on him but with my brother I had paid for everything from I.T to nursing. He failed them all. Always he stopped attending school, got himself into some form of trouble and I had to clean it up. I loved him yes, but I had his ways.

“Oh no, I did not come here for that. I wanted to say thank you sis!”

He said. He could see I was angry but still came in to hug me. He was buttering me up.

“Really how do you get yourself in such messes. You are getting old meaning I can’t keep up cleaning your messes Kgosi! Come on man!”

I said to him but reprimanding my brother or advising him was like trying to carry water in a seef, he will hear you for that moment but it went right out.

“I am coming with you to UNISA and we will pay together!”

I said to him. That caught him a bit off guard and he said,

“So you don’t trust me now?”

I did not even hesitate to say no.

“In fact let’s do it now. Isn’t you can access your details online. I have my laptop here so we can do it.”

He was rather annoyed by it all as the look on his face betrayed. Most likely he had been lying. Zethu walked in again.

“Nothabo you never told me that you have such hot colleagues!”

He said looking straight at her. She blushed immediately.

“She is married!”

I said coldly.

“I am not so that’s not my problem!”

He said confidently without taking his eyes of her face!

“I am not married Nothabo! Really!”

She said but I was not entertaining it.

“Dude are we doing the UNISA thing or not?”

I asked him and he said,

“Not today sis, some other time. I have to go. Friend of my rude sister please walk me out!”

He said to Zethu and the fool actually went with him. My brother was just a mess. 15 minutes later Zethu walked back in with a huge smile on her face.

“Your brother is so cool. Is it ok if him and I talk. We have swapped numbers but I did not want to overstep my boundaries!”

In all the years I have known my crazy friend she had never asked me for permission to do something before. This was weird even for me.

“My brother as in Kgosi? Are you sure about that?”

I asked her. I was not throwing my brother any shade or anything but Zethu had heard every complaint I had about my brother. She had never met him yes but she knew how bad he was. This would me throwing her under the bus.

“Yes come on. He is quite nice and yes a year or two younger than me but it’s just to chat!”

She asked me. I am not sure I was comfortable with this because if something happened between the two of them, and things went sour, I would lose a friend in Zethu and never forgive my brother. It’s not an easy decision. He is my brother I know but he is also scum. He will leach of her then play her and I will be caught in the middle. They were grown ups however so I had no choice.

“As long as I don’t get to hear about what you get up to when you are together because you know my brother very well. No one comes crying to me!”

I told her.

Even as she said thank you I knew I was making a bad decision. Your friends should never ever date your siblings because often it turns out really bad for you. It was time to go home.

There was so much traffic and the radio kept on advising on different routes to take. There was a loud ringing sound in the car as my phone was connected to the car. My husband was calling.

“Hey baby!”


“How far are you?”

He asked me.

“I am not far but there is a lot of traffic because of the bridge collapsing so could still be an hour!”

I told him.

“Ok cool… She will be about an hour…”

I heard him say to someone.

“Who are you with?”

I asked him.

“Oh I am with Lesedi, she is here to see you and says she will wait!”

He said.


*******The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Hi mike, please keep me anonymous. I am a girl of 24yrs who met a new guy in June when i moved to this new place. This guy is 30yrs old and he has a child. When we met i was reluctant to date him but he was just too nice. We started dating and everything was fun. He ended up separating with the baby mama and i also separated with my then bf. We continued dating, everything was great and he was talking future all the time. We experienced problems when at some point he got back together with his baby mama without my knowledge. I found out and we sorted things out with him ending things with her again. We continued and again all was perfect until at some point things went sour again. I tried to hold on for weeks while i never gave up even though things were not working. A week back we talked things through and he promised to introduce me to the family and all. I told him i was tired but he still insisted and i agreed to stay. Just yesterday his baby mama comes again and i find out he is paying lobola for her this weekend. I didn’t know how to handle it, I am broken and i dont know what to do. How do i just let things go, how do i just drop this. I don’t know what to do, do i stop the lobola, but then again how do i. I just feel like i will regret letting him do this, i cant figure out how he has been with m while he knows he is going to play lobola in a week and he knew she was bound to find out that we still together. I don’t know how i will handle this coz i love this guy with all that i am.


We’re doing a Q&A on the @PlanetOfAttraction’s Twitter profile at 12 noon – ! Join us with the hashtag #AskZuluGirl with your questions! It’s gonna be fun!

59 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Sixty Eight

  1. QnA I read this letter a few times to try make sense of it and still i come to the same conclusion. What a stupid person you are! You are asking for advice on a man who had a woman and child when you got him and today he is marrying that same woman now you want sympathy? Are you high on weed! You got everything you deserved you home wrecker! You left your own man for him so what did you expect to happen next. This is not even karma because he was hers in the first place and you tried to take another woman’s man. Why did you think he went back to her before? It should have been a sign to you but or no, you hung on. Where is your pride and dignity vele? Stay away from them and go crawl back where ever you came from

    1. Zuma you are an idiot of note. How does she wreck a family when he made the choice and decision to be with her. He played her good and proper and now she is falling apart because she fell for his trickery. I mean this in the rudest way ‘tsek’ and deal with your own issues cause clearly ubitter.

  2. Thanks Mike,yah neh otha men cn b cruel dear he hv chosen her over u jst let it go,I’ve been thru same situation bt with me I jst saw with pp on whtsapp dt da dude married da baby mamma an he hv been tlng me dt dey dnt evn tlk

  3. Zuma you are an idiot…..she is asking for advise not criticism and insults, if you don’t have advise for her rather NOT comment! guys lie all the time, you are one you know that, when they meet someone new they like they always makes that new girl think they are single until when she ends up finding out the truth or him dropping the bomb when she has ALREADY fallen inlove. we have all played a fool role but what is important is to realize your worth and walk away from the person that has deceived and played you regardless of the love you feel for him.

    1. no she knew he has a baby mama,she even says he stoped seeing his baby mama coz she started dated him and Zuma is right shes a homewrecker and karma is a BTCH

  4. Yerrrr sisi, u in way over your head here. YOU, unfortunately were the one getting played. they are already a family, he is paying lobola. what more do you wanna hear? stop trying to break up a home and start building your own. ayi wangicika shame and I’m not excusing the mans doggish tendencies either playing the two of u. BUT he has made his choice manje let them be.

  5. She never said he lied. In fact she insinuated that she knew. So yes I am an idiot but for a woman to go take another man’s woman knowingly is low. He too is an are hole but he is not the one asking for advice to keep his mistress on the side. She is fighting for a man paying lobola like wtf

  6. Distraught
    miss baby mama was there before you, what your doing is what we call Bonanging , u knew he was in a relationship with a kid involved yet u got involved what did you expect to happen for him to leave hes women n kid for you? Am baffled by ur logic

    let this man go, why would you go stop the lobola negotiations thou, men lie you are not the 1st hes lied too and you will not be the last , dont go crush another womens happiness

    I hope you do the right thing

  7. See women like this make me so angry. If I met you on the street and you said this fuckery I would beat you up for doing this to another woman. @roses she probably is and the selfish bitch don’t even care she is doing it. As long as she gets your man

  8. Zuma she said ” he got back with the baby mama without my knowledge” does that not imply lying to you? get off your high horse, we have all made questionable decisions at one point… distraught leave this man alone, he played you now cut your losses and move on.

    1. But do really honestly expect him to notify her that he is going back to the baby mama? She says he went back a number of times and she found out why didn’t she leave then. Hai some wome!!!!!!!

  9. I’m do disgusted by comments. If you have nothing positive to say to this lady keep your mouths shut. Everyone makes mistakes including all of you criticizing.

    Mike, please address this coz as far as I know we are supposed to advise and support people not kick them when they are down.

  10. Your whole relationship started on wrong foundation, you were both cheating on your partners, rather leave him babes you still young and have your whole life ahead of you,clearly he made his choice..walk away

  11. QnA much as Zuma is harsh is he not telling the truth. If you were the baby mama right now knowing this woman won’t let go how would you feel? What she did was wrong and reading that she knew there was something. She even says that when he broke up with his she broke up with hers. That means it was a full blown affair. Why do we do this to each other though as women?

  12. Hahahahaha what a friday 🙂

    Roses…she needs a proper beating so she wakes up from whatever it is that she smoked…..

    Distraught…sies on you….siiiies. You want to stop the lobola negotiaions…uyaziva kodwa.
    Vee uthi she must stop doing what?? LMAO

  13. Eish!!! Let it go my skatie. The man will always go back to the baby Mama. Let us just say you were the other woman and he does not think that you can make a good wife.

  14. Lol mara is this for real people or am I day dreaming . All I paint in that letter is a homewrecker and some homewreckers protect her by commenting and saying we should advise her and not insult the ‘poor lady’,Argh! That’s bul***t . Wena young lady you got what you deserved be grateful that the guy didn’t leave you with his bastard before he realised that he needs his family and not you.

  15. Hahahahahaha you people are hardcore shame I could never, all hollier than thou and are probably makhwaphenis yourselves, niyadelela yong…Sorry gal dont mind these fools just dust yourself off and move on with your life hes not worth it anyway

  16. Otha ppl r quick to comment jong or lea jelwa ke anger??ds stupid bf tld da poor lady dt he’s no longer dating baby mamma an she also dumped her bf#mxm#

  17. Distraught bantu, eyakho inzima. This man was involved and at some earlier part of the relationship you found out or you knew, but decided to stay.
    Kuthiwa uzenzile akakhalelwa and from where I am standing you were and still willing to wrecker another woman’s happiness?
    That’s the thing with us woman, we let men lie to us and we let them cheat with us, sazikahle ukuthi unomuntu, hhaayi mann.

    Cha vele ukhohlwe uyena and move on with your life, rather focus your energies on getting your original man back, provided he is NOT in a relationship.

  18. Wena QnA stop Bonanging, you will get a beating full stop. Youl swear some people do this whoring thing on purpose, I mean if someone has a child and gf give them space to build a family.. Now you are out here thinking the man will leave his family for you, I want the drugs that you are on

    1. Hahahahahahaha you wanna be on the same high she’s on and do this whoring thing on purpose as well……you killed me..

  19. Thanx Mikey

    Sthandwa its ok to feel they way u do.n rightfully so I hope now u knw how does it feel to be betrayed by the one you love like u dd to sweety move with life forget this family that cost u a lot.however i hope pray that next a guy comes ur u will be more wiser n smart.cos u have grown.

  20. See this is the problem women face. The man clearly lied to her, fed her lies, sold her dreams. But she is the evil homewrecker. It’s not fair. We have all been sold dreams and lied to and made stupid decisions around those lies.

    Distraught this is a bad situation. Don’t make it worse by fighting for this man. Let him go and count your blessings. You dodged a bullet

  21. Lol eh dis comments made my day lol eh sesi u got a taste of ur own medicine. U expected de poor lady to b left wit de baby now u knw how it feels n thank de dude also coz he safed u from de baby mama drama u could hav probably had

  22. Ai Ngeke, Bathong Distraught did you just say “Do i stop the lobola and how do i do it?” Lol but people have liver out there… Where in this lovely universe do you find the gumption to think up such nonsense?

    Things were said dreams we sold, yours was just a bag of cow dung. You attempted brick tendencies and got hit right back. Humble yourself, cry in a teaspoon, cyber-stalk them if you may BUT STAY AWAY!!! As a side chick, stick to your lane girly, Some people are meant to be wife’d and others not, you my dearest, will find someone else.

    Qina & phephisa sthandwa, otlaba stong

  23. Thanks sthandwa sam Mike 🙂

    Ok, let me get this straight>>>>> You met a guy who was in a relationship, probably staying with his girlfriend and baby, You liked him and decided to cheat with him (on your BF and His BabyMomma) fully aware they were still together. Things were smooth so He left the babymomma to be with you, things went bad and He went back to the babymomma and after some time He came back to you????? How did you not get this at this point though that this man will never be fully yours? Its either you are very ignorant or just plain stupid…

    Now you are contemplating to stop their lobola???? really now that witchcraft…. Leave this man alone and get on with your life while you still have dignity. You deserve a beating for all women’s sake, good thing we don’t know what you look like or where you live because I would be there first thing in the morning just to rearrange your face.

    I really hope you wrote this while you were drunk and its not true, I refuse to believe you can be this stupid

  24. QnA you have lost this one. It’s clear he has made his choice and it’s not you my love. Men do that because they can be selfish. He might possibly love you but you are not the one he wants to spend his life with. Give up the fight and move on with your life. You will find someone that will love you and make you his wife .

  25. Distraught you met this guy in June, its just been roughly three and a half months.. imagin how many years the baby mama has been with him and what she had to put up with and here you rock up months just before lobola payments (and mind you these things were already discussed by both families and agreed upon way before you).

    My advice to you is be real, three and a half months and you love him with all that you are? You are still young, cut this guy off he’s not good for you because he has lied and hurt you several times.

  26. Mna i don’t understand this homewrecking business. Women attacking each other. I mean this woman didn’t go to this man. The man went to her and asked for a date. Lo bhuti was not married to the baby mama so no homewrecking there because they were not a home. Having a child with someone doesn’t mean you’re a family now we must get this right. I mean this man lied to her and men lie to us all the time and they will keep winning because we attack each other…for what???? Their attention???? Wena sisi shiya eloxoki le ndoda coz it’s obvious he wants his bread buttered both sides. And to the ladies let’s stop attacking each other…please.

  27. Lmao im dead reali by todays comments but yazi sum guys knw how to lie n sell fake dreams to us gals n its a shame we fall for them over n over again we get blindsided by love n dis guy promised to show this gal to his family making her believe she is the one but atleast now she knws where she stands n nje akaphume aphele n leave them alone n stopping the lobola lol i can imagine wont help her in any way the guy has made his choice n nje accept u were his sperm bucket la angacithela khona kwaphela n moooove on

  28. Mina I’m actually shocked that Rosey knows about the side chick but still wants her man to pay lobola and marry her. He will continue to cheat or maybe continue a relationship with this lady coz clearly he can’t stay away from her, vice versa. Stop throwing shade just coz this has happened to you in the past. If you couldn’t keep a man then someone else will snatch him from you. No1 has the right to judge you all commenting BullShit while you have your own demons that are clearly evident. But sister he is not the one let him go and Rosey if u r the baby mama I would reconsider this weekend, u deserve better both of u deserve better.

  29. You know actually this makes me sick, how us women don’t have the backs of our fellow females. You guys let a ‘MAN’ Mr Zuma here say such things about our fellow sister and yall back him up and actually make a joke about it. Shame on you! Clearly this woman is fighting her broken heart and fells distraught. Stop cyber bullying. This is just pure bullying. Sorry sisi. Ayi Mike some of your readers though. I usually just read comments and keep quiet but today I just couldn’t stop myself.

  30. I was listening to a motivational talk this morning. The speake was talking about how the world had gone so so wrong because things that used to be imoral seem to be easily acceptable nower days. A young lady has no shame asking for an advice on how she could win over a man that was not hers to begin with. Kudingeka iskole on how women should value themselves. Why do we allow man basenze their door mat by lowering our standard. When you decided to be a makhwapheni, stay a makhwapheni coz it is almost 0% likely that the man you cheat with would make an honest women out of you because you have already lower your standard. lets start focasing more on a man’s behaviour more than their words, the truth is in his behaviour not what he says.

  31. Nice Mike
    Yoh the claws and fangs out, all hissing all round
    Classic cat fight hahahahahaha can just imagine Zuma spitting fire Aunty lilly in the backround with a broomstick ‘women pride, awunamahloni wena Q&A”, Cindo’s dress tucked in her panty rolling up her sleeves, Rose crying in some corner. Q&A chewing gum tapping her one feet, doing the neck thing (all darkie chick have in them) telling them “nami ngiyamthanda ngenzeni mxim”

  32. Ur still young cc..ulenzile iphutha bt now learn frm it n move on..ukuyomisa amalobola wnt help in any way dali..imagine if dc was ur lobola negotiations amiswayo d baby mama dd nothing to u n doesn’t deserve to b mixed in ur issue…just let go uzomthola munt wakho nawe bt in future make sure d guy u myt b wth z not playing again n neva leave ur man 4 a dude u just met.

  33. aybo losisi usheliwe probably watshelwa ukuthi the guy is not happy in the relationship correct me if I’m wrong a baby was never a ring and akukho la kuthiwa the guy was staying with the baby mama what home was she wrecking then

  34. Lol ay “datNigga” u killing me. Distraught mistake u did when he went back to baby mama first time (i.e cheating on u) you shouldn’t have opened that door xa ebuya of which u did. But hoping I’m wrong “nalombuyelwano wenu, u could have been da one pushing 4 u to fix things” coz u don’t love the guy but rather u obsessed with him. Let him go he’s not good for you coz now u acting like he’s your nyaope n you can’t detox him

  35. Abuti Mike U inspire me to aspire. Enkosi!

    Allow me to quote U Mike, “Every woman knows her ‘dog'” & again, “Every ‘bish’ needs a dog”. Both from yo prv posts.
    Distraught, I’m battling to fit U in the two simultaneous equations, but U don’t even fit in. Bcz UR the ‘bish’ that had a bone & saw another bone’ across the river. Then decided to go for that new bone (huffing & puffing) only to find another ‘bish’ guarding it. In the end U lost both bones.
    Do U want me to say, “I’m sorry that U lost both bones for being greedy?”
    Lesson learnt, if it barks like a dog & sniffs like a dog, chances are IT’S A DOG. This guy was blowing hot & cold on both of “his” girls/women & U stood by thinking, may the best “lady” win. Well, the best lady indeed has won. Shud we spell it out for U???
    Just don’t lose the lesson. – PapaG

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