I am a shy a person I think because if I was not I would have the courage to ask questions I find myself unable to comprehend. I have always wanted to ask a grown man what goes on in his head when he goes after a girl young enough to be his daughter or in my father’s case, his granddaughter. It baffles me really. You have nothing to discuss and your needs can hardly be the same. I was looking at this girl and I just could not think straight. Sibongile stood there deeply embarrassed by what I had just said and you know what, she deserved it. She was a home wrecker and yes I am supposed to blame my father too but she is the one who was here not him. Even the way that my daughter had laughed at her must have hurt her. This was drama at its best. You know when you look at most homes from the outside, it often seems like they are the happiest people around but so much goes on behind closed doors. This made me feel ashamed of myself and of my family. I was ashamed to stand in front of my husband even because much as he knew about her, the moment she walked through that door I had become complicit to the crime. He could never respect me after this. Yes it was not my fault that my father was cheating but surely her being here made me part of the problem in more ways than one. What the hell was I doing though? She shouldn’t be here! I was about to tell her that I was not comfortable with this when she said,
“I have some money, I can pay you for a place to sleep then tomorrow will go find a place to stay!”
She offered when she saw the unhappiness and perhaps anger on my face. I could not mask it. It was not her though that I was angry at it was him. He had just shipped her off here like she was a piece of meat. People need to respect your space and marriage and my father did not have any of that clearly.
“No its fine Sibongile! You don’t have to pay for anything nor do you have to move out tomorrow!”
My husband said from behind me. I had not seen him enter.
“Come on love, can’t you see she is terrified and possibly hungry from the long trip. You are a better person; we are better people than this!”
He said to me.
Why was he making me sound like the bad guy? His intervention was timely though because she was on the verge of bursting into tears.
“No, I am not angry at you! Mapula will give you food and then we can come talk ok?”
I said to her and she just nodded.
“Does she even know who Mapula is?”
My husband asked me and I realised that I had not told her. I had no energy to give her a tour of the house because she would not be staying here long with us. My husband who was acting the saint part started making small talk with her. He took her to the kitchen and I heard him introduce her to Mapula as one of our cousins from Bloemfontein. He really was going all out to make part of a family she was not a member of. I went to my bedroom and waited for him. I heard him put her in the spare bedroom and switch of the lights.
“What are we going to do about her?”
I asked him when he entered the bedroom.
“What must we do with her? This cruel thing you are doing is not ok with me. She is still a child at the end of the day and if ever a day came where someone treated Lintle like this how would you feel?”
He asked me.
“Lintle wouldn’t be stupid enough to date a grandfather!”
I snapped back. She would not that’s for sure. No mother wants to know that they raised a child stupid enough to be sugarbaby. Unless you as the parent like things yourself surely you have to be disgusted by it. I would hang myself if that happened shem.
“Never say never. With these kids today, no matter what you give them they will always want more. Thank God for anti-retroviral otherwise we would be burying more of them by the day!”
He said and I agree with him. Don’t be fooled, half of the socialites you see on your instagram and on TV are infected not affected. We see them at the hospitals and because of medicines they are almost as safe as houses, emphasis on the almost! You will never know what hit you! All these older men that frequent the clubs, imagine 40 year olds with money still turning up, how many girls have they slept with in their day? Sies, Lintle I will kill her the day she brings home a sugar daddy. Nelisa had one and now this girl too. Nasty indeed.
“I don’t want her getting close to Lintle meaning I give her a full week tops to leave. That’s my final compromise. I know she is here because of me but I don’t want her here!”
I told him. I was not about this peacemaker life of his so he is just going to have to be strong. We slept in a very tense room.
In the morning I was still sour. I drove Lintle to school for the first time in days. She had so many questions to ask about Sibongile. It was just awkward. She found the whole situation funny and said her grandfather was still hot if he could attract someone so young. This annoyed me even more. This was breaking my family.
“My friends want to come sleep over for the weekend. Is that ok with you?”
She asked me when she got out of the car. The first thought I had was o of the friends that had seen me having sex with her father on the couch. I asked her if it was them and when she said yes I told her that it was too soon for them to come. She was late so she could not really argue. I knew I had to brace myself though for what could be coming as I had learned that every time I denied her something there were consequences. This child really was holding me ransom. Finally I got to work, my place of solace. With George gone this was the only place I had no drama. I could breathe.
“Your brother took me for dinner yesterday!”
Zethu said as soon as she saw me. She had a big smile on her face. Was he not the one who asking me for money just yesterday. There is nothing more annoying than a broke person asking you for money only for you to find out that they spent it on useless things. I am not saying Zethu was useless but this was not going anywhere. I love my brother but Zethu had too much class for him.
“You really are insisting on going out with him neh?”
I asked her but I did not want to entertain her. Why did I even bother asking?
“He is not as bad as you make him out to be. It’s weird he speaks so highly of you but you have nothing nice to say about him!”
She said in his defence. You see as women we don’t look for each other often enough. I will give you an example, if you are dating a man who is abusive, should you not warn the next woman he dates about his ways? We have a duty or rather a responsibility to one another to address warn each other but pride holds up back. I knew my brother and how many women he had toyed with. He hadn’t changed at all but if she wanted to second guess me then maybe she should learn for herself. There will be no double dates though; I refused to be part of her eventual heartbreak.
“Your friend called me to apologise today?”
I think she thought it would be obvious to me but he was the last person on my mind. He was not my friend. The day was actually pretty pleasant but I had the minor headache of trying to figure out what Lintle would do next. I now knew her ways so I really had to prepare. It’s hard as a parent to have a child you don’t trust. You are forced to sleep with one eye open. Maybe I should have agreed I don’t know now. I was always going home early that day because I am not sure I was comfortable having Sibongile alone there. I tried calling my father but the phone just rang. What did he think I was supposed to do though? I had it in mind to put her in mind and driver her back to Bloemfontein. Much as I felt sorry for her, this girl had killed her father. Imagine, her father! She was a murderer and self-defence or not, I was bringing her in the same house as my child. It takes a lot to kill a person. You have to be extremely provoked or extremely cold to do that. This was the person my husband was saying could stay in our home with such an impressionable daughter indefinitely. No thank you.
“Baby can we talk?”
I said knocking on her door. She said I could come in. I explained to her why I had said no and she laughed at me saying that it was my fault for not going to the bedroom in the first place but she was cool with it. I thought she was bluffing and she said,
“Mum I am not going to break! I won’t do anything don’t worry. Some other time I guess! I have a problem though I want to talk to you about!”
She said. What kind of problem though? She was a scary child though.
“I have missed my period. Do you think it has something to do with the rape kit?”
She asked me. Well I was not sure what to say but I am sure it had so I told her that. She took out three boxes of pregnancy tests. My daughter was special. There was no way she could have gotten pregnant and you don’t need three tests to prove that.
“Can I do it just in case and you can tell me what it means!”
She said a bit cheerful and went to the bathroom. She said she would pee on two out of the three tests just for peace of mind and I told her to go ahead. It does take long so I waited.
She came back and she showed me.
They both had two stripes!
“Go use the last one please baby!”
I asked her very calmly. She asked me if everything was ok and I said yes it was.
“We just need to make sure baby!”
My heart was beating fast now. Two minutes later she was back.
“Here it is mommy!”
I looked at it again and I prayed inside.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike, thank you for keeping our minds captivated by your blog.
Hi fellow readers. I am a 20 year old and in a long distance relationship with a guy who is 22. We have a rock solid foundation as we have been friends for many years and decided to start a relationship a year ago. The problem is that this guy is so full of himself, he’s ego is just too much for me. Then there’s those little arguments we always have, if it’s not me picking up my phone, it’s why I’m not answering his WhatsApp messages. My star sign this month says that someone is keeping a secret from me. I don’t know, but he’s behaviour is making me suspicious and I can’t stop thinking about that horoscope. I fear he is cheating on me. And yet I love him so much… What should I do?