Definition of break is to smash, or divide in parts violently so I never understood when a person said they wanted a break from a relationship, it never made sense to me. What are the conditions of a break? Do we act like we have broken up? Do we continue calling each other? Do we date other people? I had to understand what a break means I just didn’t understand and I seriously thought it was very childish of Philani to want a break. I asked him what a break means and he didn’t respond so I decided to give him exactly what he wanted and we haven’t spoken ever since.
I actually thought he would call me and apologise after a few days but to my surprise he didn’t even call me and it has been a week since he sent the text, and I missed him. I was so used to having him around and talking to him everyday. So I resorted to always checking his last seen on watsapp and what his facebook statuses. I was sitting on to of my bed deciding what I’m going to wear for the day, when Sihle came rushing to my room.
Sihle: “ Hlengy you were right there is something about lomntana uLerato and Philani.”
Cabangani guys Lerato posted a picture of herself and Philani captioned ‘Spent the day with the most amazing guy #happinessonfleek……mxm rubbish maan.
Me: “Do you think they are dating? But Philani only asked for a break and that is what I gave him, why is he busy going out with other girls manje mxm.”
Sihle: “I don’t think they are dating, maybe she’s just trying to irritate you. I think it’s time to go and talk to Philani.”
Me: “Talk to him about what? I won’t beg him.”
Sihle: “Begging him? Talking to your man isn’t begging him, you are talking to him to solve your problems and your relationship. If you aren’t prepared to let go of your pride, you will lose him.”
I decided that I would go Philani’s house later, I even liked the picture just to spite Lerato. I went to get my hair done and I bought new shoes. I also went to Woolies and brought some ingredients, I was going to cook for him, angisho a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I went to his place, I had my own keys. I was very familiar with his place, it was like my second home. I cooked, freshened up and waited for him…he was normally at home ngabo 5 but that day he arrived ngabo 7.
I prepared myself and smiled…..he opened the door and was busy locking lips with some girl, they didn’t even see that I was standing there until I called out his name. I didn’t know what to do, whether I should cry or just walk away. They stood there and looked at me…suprise suprise, he was with Lerato!
Philani: “Uhm Hlengy uhm babe when did you arrive? Uhhhh uzoyenzani, you should’ve called.”
I seriously didn’t know what to say….
Me: “What the hell Philani? Why should I have called you? You know what never mind I wanted us to talk about things.”
I was not going to fight with my man in front of my thirsty enemy. She was definitely going to capitalize on that.
Lerato laughed, I looked at her and she seemed very pleased with herself. This girl was thirsty, thirty Christian girl. Don’t you guys see that alot at your respective churches? That girl that participates in everything, acts like an angel, mam’fundisi’s favourite girl and throws herself at every man who can potentially marry her? Lerato was that girl and I was not going to allow her thirst to ruin my relationship. She could go and thirst around the Pastor’s or other guys but not my Philani. The struggle for a Christian man was real and I wasn’t going to lose mine. Beauty alone doesn’t get you a good man like my Philani, so I had to fight for him.
Philani: “uhm okay.”
Me: “Philani are you dating Lerato? Why are you guys going on dates and kissing?”
Saying these words was a struggle because I was trying to stop my tears and the evident shaking of my body. My palms were wet.
Lerato: “ No, hlengy dear we aren’t dating. We are just friends, who needed me and I was more than happy to ‘help’ him. Don’t be stupid and insecure, insecurity doesn’t look good on you. That is why you will lose him to a chilled girl if you continue with your stupidity.”
Yoh so much disrespect in a single sentence? So was I supposed to let her get away with it? Hell no! The smirk on her face turned into a big grin..yez lengane ayingazi shame I’m a zulu mina, I’m going to beat her up. No one calls me stupid and gets away with it. She was going to get a beating from me, she will wish the Arch-Angel Michael was there to protect and fight for her.
Who am I kidding though? I’ve never fought. I’m a very peaceful person and I have never had to fight my entire life. But I was going to give her the best beating I was capable of.
I walked towards her and gave her the best clap I was capable of giving, while that was sinking in to her brain, I pulled her hair and gave her a punch. Philani told me to stop, but I didn’t stop. I wanted to teach her a lesson.
Philani then came to pull me away from her… she was busy cursing- that’s all she was good at, talking but she couldn’t put her money where her mouth is. I told Philani that she had to go or else I was going to kill her. I didn’t want him to take her but I didn’t have a choice because she didn’t have her car with her. Before she left I told her to not try anything funny with Philani because I was going to find out and I was going beat her up in front of her parents. So while Philani took her to her place, I called Sihle to tell her what happened.
Sihle: “Yes girl, this better be good. I’m with the love of mind heart.”
Me: “Good for you dear. You won’t believe what I just did.”
Me: “I just beat Lerato up.”
Sihle: “What? I don’t believe it? You fight? No love that can’t be true.”
Sihle knew that I didn’t like to fight, I hardly ever fought. The only person I argued with regularly was Philani because he was so damn irritating at times.
Me: “It’s true. She arrived here with Philani and they were kissing. So when we began to speak and she said some nasty things. I will tell you the whole story when I see you.” Sihle laughed at me and said she’s proud of me but she has to go and be with her man. This girl loved her man yoh.
After the call, I was left with my thoughts and I felt stupid for fighting. That was not the person I am.
Philani came back and I think he was afraid to talk…there was some awkward silence.
Philani: “Can I get a hug?”
Mxm I wanted to tell him to go and ask Lerato nxla. But I had to win my man back, so I put my attitude away. I hugged him, being in Philani’s arms made me feel safe. We broke the hug, I felt tears threatening my eyes.
Philani: “I missed you angel.”
That made me smile, but I didn’t really believe him. If he missed me, he was going to be all over Lerato. He was probably trying to make me smile.
Me: “I missed you too.”
I whispered the words, he came towards me and warmly kissed my forehead.
Philani: “Where did you learn to fight like that? You’re a zulu warrior ne?”
He laughed so hard. I didn’t find it funny, it was embarrassing so I just shrugged my shoulders.
Philani: “Baby I’m sorry for what you saw, I’m really not dating Lerato. The kiss was a mistake.”
Me: “But the kiss was surely going to lead to something else. You guys were probably going to have sex.”
Philani: “No baby, that’s not true.”
Me: “Don’t fool me Philani. You were obviously going to stick your dick in her cookie. I’m not a fool.”
I was now raising my voice.
Philani: “Don’t raise your voice at me Hlengiwe. What do you expect from me? I’m a man and I have needs. You think I don’t think about sex? You think I don’t get horny when you kiss me?
Me: “But Philani, we spoke about this. We decided that we will have sex when we are married.”
Philani: “WE didn’t decide that, you are the one who took that decision selfishly. I respected you decision but I don’t know how much longer I will be able to be patient Hlengy.”
I was so bored maan. Philani was mad, I was going to sleep with him if and when he marries me – that was the end of it.
Philani: “I think it’s best if you leave before we both get angry.”
Me: “You are kicking me out?’
Philani: “No, I’m not kicking you out, I just want you to leave. We will talk tomorrow.”
As he said this he went to open the door for me. I was lost for words and I decided to leave. When I arrived home I found the girls asleep, so I ate and went to bed. I received a notification from facebook. It was a friend request from a certain Thulani Zungu, I accepted and didn’t check who it was. Thulani Zungu then inboxed me
Thulani: Hey beautiful Miss Zuly
Thulani: how are you? I went through your pics you are truly beautiful.
Me: I’m okay thanks and you? Thank you.
Thulani: I’m great. Why is a beautiful lady like you just okay?
Me: what kind of question is that? Why are you great?
Thulani: I’m great because ever since I met you I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I finally found you on facebook.
Me: ehhh where did we meet?
Me: I’m not in the mood for stupid guessing games. Tell me who you are before I delete and block you.
Thulani: I never thought you were this feisty but I love it. I don’t like meek women.
Ey this guy was getting on my nerves, this is the reason why I didn’t have may guy friends on facebook. They are irritating maan. If you inbox me, go straight to the point, we aren’t friends so there is no need for small talk.
Me: Just tell me who you are before I block you.
Thulani: Don’t block me beautiful. I’m Apostle T. Zungu, I don’t know if you still remember me.
Ofcourse I remembered him, how could I forget such hotness! But my question was why did he invite me and why did he insist on calling me beautiful.