I looked at Mthobisi feeling defeated and said “I don’t have the strength to fight him Mthobisi, I am tired, I am physically and mentally tired, I can’t deal with this, not now” I said throwing myself on top of the bed. Why couldn’t Fundani just drop down and die? That entire family deserved to be wiped out, Fundani needed to follow his brother. “I am taking care of it, don’t worry about that fool Honey, the funeral is going to go on tomorrow as planned we not going to let our son stay in that mortuary a day longer.” I did not doubt my husband’s capabilities but over the past couple of months I have learnt that Fundani could be very resourceful when he wanted to be and when that man wanted something he would go through great lengths to get it. “What are we going to do Mthobisi, you know that man is psychotic, he might just show up at the funeral and take Neo before we even bury him.” I said feeling really nervous about the whole thing. “That would never happen not even over my dead body because I would rise from the dead and show him his home hell” I smiled, sometime the things my husband said when he was angry made it impossible for me to keep a serious face.
“Do we have a plan?” I asked him, he smiled and said “don’t we always?” and that’s when I felt a bit of relief, I packed mine and his clothes and told him he would have to go home to get us clothes to wear at the funeral. “I have a few suits at my mother’s place I will wear one of those. Please ask your friends to buy you something to wear; I don’t want you near a mall.” I looked at him and knew exactly how he felt I did not want to ever go to a mall again either, it suddenly felt like malls were the most dangerous places to be in especially now that the festive season was approaching. “I can’t put my friend’s lives in danger; I will just go home to get some clothes on the way to Daveyton.” He agreed and asked if I could get a lift with one of my friend’s to Daveyton since we only had one car and the other had been stolen and he needed to use the other car to go sort out a few things for the funeral tomorrow, I agreed knowing the girls won’t have a problem with that. I packed some clothes then went to the girls who sarcastically thanked me for leaving them to alone to my mother’s lecturer on how to behave like an adult 101, my friend just have this way of making me laugh even when I don’t want to laugh. I told them the plan to go and get funeral clothes at my house, She Rocks said she will take me and Cleo needed to go and pick up her kids from school so she couldn’t come to Daveyton, Andiswa also had to go, she had some meeting that she couldn’t cancel, Cleo said to her “I hope it’s not a meeting with the Hawks to discuss our arrest.” She Rocks told her to stop it, and Andiswa just gave her a dirty look. I told my mom and Victor I was leaving and they said Mthobisi’s mom had already left I guess to get my mattress ready. She Rocks and I took the scones that they had baked and we drove to mine and Mthobisi’s place in Midrand while Cleo and Andiswa also went their separate ways. “Talk to me about anything except what is going on at the moment” I said to She Rocks breaking the silence on the way to our place “Okay, so I had John investigated you know to find out if he has any thug dealings.” I looked at her and said “I’m lost, whose John again and why would he have thug dealings” she looked at me in disbelief, honestly I know this was selfish of me but I had too much going on to remember everything that was happening in each and every one of my friend’s life. “John? John Black, the guy who took us to the drag race with cars spinning and all” Now I felt really bad “I was kidding of course I remember him, he was really cool. Is this because Mthobisi said they grew up together? Come on now Rock Star not everybody that Mthobisi knows is a thug, remember Nkululeko? He’s not a thug he’s just a stupid player, Mthobisi has a lot of friends that are not doing what his doing.” I said trying to defend my husband She Rocks rolled her eyes and said “I know that, I was just a bit paranoid, Lee your husband showed me flames when you were kidnapped, I peed my pants from fear and I consider myself a very tough person but that day I realised I was a mouse.” I smiled and said “How did this conversation turn from John Black to my husband?” she giggled and said “okay fine, back to John Black, so the private investigator that I hired found out that John was legit, he had no thug involvement and everything that he told me he was he is.” I shook my head and said “you have too much money to blow if you can afford to hire PI’s to tell you what you already know.” She continued “Anyway, now that I know that he is genuine I don’t know how to get him back, Lee I had been playing hard to get for so long with him that he ended up giving up on me.” now it was my turn to roll my eyes “this is what happens with us woman, we find a good man we treat him bad and when we lose him we suddenly want him back and by then it’s too late. Imagine how confused the guy must be, the one minute you are hot the next you are cold. Are you going to tell him that you had his ass googled?” She laughed and said of course she won’t. We arrived at our house and as we walked in I remembered that the last time I was in that house I was with my son and now he would never get to walk with me upstairs or play with me by the pool area, tears just came out, She Rocks held my hand and told me it’s okay I could cry all I want, we walked upstairs to our bedroom, it still had the smell of the chemicals that Mthobisi had used to clean the blood, “Jesus, what is that smell? It smells like my car after Mthobisi got it cleaned out. .. Oh my God that was to remove blood. What went down in this room? You know what don’t answer that, I don’t want to know” she said leaving the room, I shook my head and got one of our suitcases out and packed a few outfits for myself and got Mthobisi two suits just in case he doesn’t like the ones at his mom’s house. When I was done we drove to my mother in law’s house in Daveyton.
We arrived in Daveyton, my husband’s mom had organised so many things, there was already a tent outside their house set up and there were people around, you could feel that location funeral vibe. We were greeted by a lot of people that I had never seen in my life before but they knew who I was and what had happened, that’s the thing about staying in the location you pass the news to one neighbour who is nosey and before the sun sets the entire location will know what had happened and I suspected that is what Mthobisi’s mom had done, well in her case it back-fired because the news ended up reaching the wrong ears but the way I saw it Fundani was watching us, he knew everything that was going on in our lives which was a bit creepy, but anyway some people like to watch. One of Mthobi’s sister’s escorted us to the room where I would be sitting it was Mthobi’s bedroom and they had removed everything in there and just left a mattress, she gave me a blanket to cover myself with, I begged She Rocks to stay with me, she agreed. People started coming in and putting money on the plate that Mthobisi’s sister had put on the floor “what am I supposed to do?” I whispered to Mthobisi’s sister, I had never been in such a situation before so I honestly didn’t know what to say after a person would tell me who they are and where they come from and how they know the family and how they have heard the sad news, she whispered back to me “you need to give them details of how your son died.” I looked at her with my eyes wide opened and cut the whispering “I’m sorry what? Am I expected to repeat to every single person that comes in here how my son died?” the ladies who were in the room to give their condolences nodded their heads, that shit is just cruel I thought, here is a person who has just lost a loved one and you are expected to re-leave that moment over and over again, how cruel can people be? “It’s actually very therapeutic, because the more you talk about it, the more you free yourself from it.” one of the ladies who was there to pass their condolences said, I was extremely sceptical about all this but I decided to be a good sister-in-law I relayed the story that my sister had told me about how he died to the first group of people, they listened and gave advice on how I should not blame myself or my sister on what had happened, it felt easier telling the story to the next group and each group and as the day progressed I felt I could actually talk about it without crying anymore, this really was therapeutic, we black people are smarter than we give ourselves credit, who needs doctor Phil when you have Kasi people who come in numbers to listen to your story and give great free advice, by the end of the day I had received so many great advice from so many different people, I was truly grateful. The scones that my friends had baked were finished but luckily Mthobisi’s family had organised many more. Outside there were old ladies chopping and preparing for the funeral for the following day, I was now exhausted, talking to so many different people and listening to their stories was not easy it had drained me I just wanted to sleep but ever since I had arrived I had not seen Mthobisi or his mother, his brother Tsepang and his wife Koketso were there but they were too busy doing only God knows what. I had only spoken to them for a few minutes and then they disappeared. She Rocks said it was getting late and it was a long drive back for her, I thanked her for staying with me and we agreed on seeing each other the following day at the funeral. I told Mthobis’s sister I wanted to sleep she said I have to sleep in that room with the mattress, this was now getting annoying, how do I sleep in just a mattress with no base? Mthobisi called and said he was on his way and I told him I was about to sleep “Don’t sleep I have something I want to show you first.” I agreed and told him to hurry I will wait, a few minutes later he arrived and said “let’s go” I followed him as we were passing the kitchen we bumped into his sister “where do you think you are going? You not allowed to leave the house.” Mthobisi jokingly said to her “Tina please stop acting like gogo.” She laughed and we left, we got in the car and Mthobisi drove off “where are you taking me?” I asked curious, he just smiled and didn’t say anything.
We arrived at some dodgy looking place that looked like a warehouse, “we’ve arrived” he said beaming, “okay” I said opening the door, not sure if I should be excited or nervous. Mthobisi lead me through a long passage then a flight of stairs then we went through a few doors until we reached one where he knocked and a voice behind said “code” Mthobisi said a few numbers which I do not remember because I was just anxious to see what the hell was behind that door. The guy opened the door and we walked in and there were three guys tied to chairs and I could barely see their faces, they were beaten up so badly that even their mothers would not have been able to recognise them. I looked at Mthobisi and asked “Are these the fuckers that killed our boy?” He nodded and handed me the gun and said “I told you, your wish is my command, you can blow their head off right now, the choice is yours.” This was the crossroad in my life if I pulled that trigger there was no turning back but on the same breath I was being given an opportunity that many people could only dream about, I could kill the bastards that killed my son, but what was that going to do? Was killing these people going to bring my son back? No it wasn’t. Was it going to make me feel better? I don’t know. Would I be able to leave with myself after I had done it? I also didn’t know. I grabbed the gun from Mthobisi and….