Amo did not cry once. He slept in his car seat the whole time. Even the music did not disturb him at all. We spoke and we chatted and it was pleasant. The only annoying thing was that every few minutes Lunga and Aurelia would kiss or hold hands whilst he was driving. Who does that? It was like now they had a reason to validate or show off their love for one another. I did not begrudge them though because my love life was starting to take off and I was reaching a point of happiness again. As a woman you can’t help but wonder what life will be like in future if you settle down with a specific guy. You get to fantasize about what life would be like seeing how he is now. Truth be told it does not always turn out like you dreamt but for now, for this moment, you can get to smile. Thulare really had ticked all the right boxes in my book but my concern was whether I had ticked all the right ones in his. He seemed a very patient and thoughtful guy, my type, but was Mudenda not like that too once upon a time? Sigh! Men are put in this world to punish us at times. I still wanted to know what happened to his baby mama though and I felt like it was a cloud that would hang over our heads if we did not discuss it. We passed an accident and the car seemed similar to Mudenda’s and my heart leapt a bit. I was tempted to call him to make sure it was not him but what if I made a mistake. I decided not to but this meant for the last 30km or so I was a bit tense until I got a text which said,
“Where the fuck are you?”
And all was fine with the world. It was him. I smiled much out of annoyance but also a bit of relief. I did not wish death on him no matter what an evil person I thought he was. Why do men change though when you get pregnant? Even if you want to break up with something is it necessary to then take out every cruel fibre in your body to drive your point home? I hardly think that’s fair nor that’s necessary.
When we checked in, my room was a floor down from Aurelia and Lunga’s and two doors from Mudenda’s. It’s because they had booked us together in the first place. I called him but he did not pick up. I then sent him my room number and he said he was coming to say hello. There was no anger in the text this time. When he knocked on my door my heart leapt.
“I am a strong woman! I can do this!”
I told myself. You can never be ready for a person like Mudenda unfortunately. You don’t know which guy is going to show up.
“Hi, did you travel safe?”
He asked cheerfully. See what I meant, there really was something wrong with this man.
“Where is my baby?”
He asked walking past me and he went straight to Amo who for some reason had started crying. The moment he held him the little traitor started giggling and playing with Mudenda.
“It’s a good thing you have your mommy’s looks, you are a beautiful little boy!”
He said to Amo. Was that a snide remark or a compliment to me? Instinctively I touched my short hair and felt like a boy.
“Why are you pretending to be nice? What do you want?”
He looked up at me and said,
“Pretending? There is no one here to pretend for! I am always nice!”
He said. He looked genuinely happy to be with his child and Amo looked very content to be there. I told him that Amo needed a bath and he said he wanted to help. He had never washed a baby before and with my permission he would like to be taught. This was awkward. I was getting scared now because I am not used to this side of him anymore. Just before we ran the bath, Amo being the little soldier that he is, pooped. I thought for sure Mudenda would run away because it packed a punch but he not only took of his diaper, cleaned him but also disposed of it. He did not ask for permission this time. I showed him how to bath a baby and he was cracking jokes. Men are stupid. He said,
“It’s a good thing you have a big dick, women are going to love you?”
Imagine, to a baby. I laughed though because it was funny, then it hit me; I had to make a call. I took my phone and went to the balcony and called Aurelia,
“Is everything ok?”
She asked me and I could hear she was having sex! Aurelia loved doing that. She could pick up the phone in the middle of sex and not give a damn. I could hear Lunga grunting doing his thing and a mental picture was created in my head.
“Eeeuw Aurelia come on! Do I really have to hear you having sex?”
I asked her. She laughed then said,
“I will always pick up for you especially now. What’s wrong? I was getting worried because you had gone quiet!”
She said. Wow she was so worried she had to get laid, yeah right! I was not going to let it go because I had to tell someone in case I go missing so to speak.
“He is being nice! I don’t know what to do. He has changed Amos diaper, bathed him, is telling him bed time stories etc. It’s an entire side of him I have never seen. Please help I am scared!”
I told her and I was not joking. I was genuinely shivering because this was an eventuality I had not thought of. Like all baby mamas when you go see your arsehole baby daddy you go prepared for war. There is no time for sentiment because we know these men are full of shit. Him not playing according to the script was something I had not expected. He took me by surprise.
“If he is being…. ahhhhhh….. Lunga am on the pho….”
She moaned in the phone and any decent person would hang up right around now but I could not. I needed advice so whether she had a dick inside her or not I didn’t care!
“Please go on!”
I demanded impatiently and she said that Lunga was going down on her and it was good. She was teasing me I know but I am not sure if she was lying either because her voice was heavier as she struggled to breathe.
“I don’t trust him either so be careful but enjoy the moment!”
“What do you mean enjoy the moment?”
I asked her. I could still hear her but I think she had put the phone down. After a few hellos with no reply I hung up. She was now screaming and no one wants to hear that. I called my mother and sister to tell them I had arrived. My mother asked me if I was in the same room as him, sleeping wise and when I said no she sounded disappointed by that. What was her end game really?
He called me standing at the balcony door. I jumped up because he had startled me.
“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you…”
He said then he laughed saying I should not be so tense.
“We both came here to relax and talk and if we are this tense with each other how is it going to work?”
He asked which made me feel rather stupid but definitely stupid enough to let down my guard. Never trust your baby daddy. He fooled you once when he left you with his baby and fooling you twice will be all on you.
“I doubt you have eaten. Our rooms are only free breakfast so must I order you something to eat?”
He asked me. I told him I had to speak to Aurelia and Lunga first because they too had not eaten.
“You came with them?”
He asked a bit annoyed. Doesn’t take long does it for true colours to come out! This was what I was more accustomed to.
“Yes I did and they are still having sex in their room!”
I said cheekily.
“Aurelia is still the voyeur she always neh!”
He said and I don’t know why I found it funny we both laughed. That’s the problem with your ex, he knows so much about you and your friends it’s easy for you guys to reconnect.
“Yes she is I guess!”
“You shouldn’t have come with them though because this was our moment to fix things.”
He started to lecture of which the Jackie Chan in me immediately kicked back and said,
“How was I supposed to come? On a broomstick maybe as Meladi said I was witch?”
I asked him. He must sit the fuck down with his judging of my life choices.
“No I did not mean it like that. I thought maybe you would come with your sister. Your mum told me what happened with her man and I thought you would drive with her here. I was scared to suggest it so I figured if I said I was gone last minute you would then have no choice but bring her!”
Huh! I really had a stupid look on my face at that moment and not because of the sweet gesture he had thought of but because of my mother. How much did she talk to this guy because he seemed to know everything about my family? Often enough now I have come home to find him there with her and the way she has been advocating for him and me to go away. Something was rotten in the state of Mzansi and I could smell it from a mile away!
“My mum you say?”
I asked him and he did not hesitate to respond,
“Yes I call her often to check up on Amo. I can’t call you because you always ready to fight and I am not about that life!”
He said sweetly!
“What the fuck are you on about?”
I screamed at him,
“Who picks fights with whom? Who called my child a bastard and wants to give it up for adoption? Who the hell do you think you are?”
I screamed at the top of my voice. He looked at me as though with pity in his eyes and with softest of voices said,
“Why are you raising your voice? I am talking to you nicely and this is my case in point!”
Yho! The nerve of this guy! Now I not only looked stupid, he had made me look like the angry person I never was. All the screaming had made Amo start crying and he said,
“Now look what you have done? All this hostility in you is killing us!”
He said and he went and picked him up. I ran after him and said,
“Give me back my baby. You have no right to hold him!”
I said to him and made a grab for Amo but Mudenda turned his back meaning I could not reach him.
“Faith stop it, you are going to hurt the baby?”
Amo quietened down again in his arms. What was I going to now? Mudenda and his games. He thought he could do this and make me forget all that he had done?
“Get the menu over there and let’s order please, I am hungry?”
He said. I felt powerless as I called Aurelia and told her we were hungry. She said they would order into my room and we will all eat together but after a quick shower.
He came over and handed Amo to me and said,
“Faith, no matter what happens between us, I will always love you. We share something special and we can have all the fights in the world but this little bundle of joy will always be between us. I have my moments when I lose it, and Meladi does not help the situation either but you will always be my first choice and my life!”
I just stared at him.
That felt like a rapist saying I love you!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike & Team
Thanks in advance I’m a big fan.
Sorry for the essay but I need advice. I’m a 40 something lady living with my fiancé who is 50 something and my son is 23. My fiancé paid (part) lobola in 2010 after his divorce. All was good at first although it was tough I came from an abusive relationship and he was still sad after his divorce. We had our ups and downs but managed to work things out. Lately we fight constantly and my son can pick up if we not talking at times. He was insolvent after the divorce so the bond is on my name.
For the past 3yrs I’ve been paying for the bond alone paying for my son’s student loan, water & lights and buying part of the groceries. I kept on asking him what will he start helping me and he said when his debt was paid up. He does not help much with finances he only buys part of the groceries. To cut the long story short we are now fighting ’cause he wants me to add his name onto the bond. What about my child? he’s currently building a house in the homelands he says it’s ours for when we go visit the homelands. I think he was looking for a rich young trophy wife. I do love him but now I have doubts due to lack of helping me financially and also think he’s still bitter after his divorce. I don’t earn much but make ends meet. I’m stressing not sure if I made the correct decision.
I work as a Receptionist and don’t have matric. I need to rewrite and also help my son finish his studies and UJ.