Rumblings – Chapter One Hundred and Four

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

It’s not that I was greedy or insensitive to the situation but have you ever gone to a wedding and not been given food? That’s a no no because it automatically makes it the worst wedding ever. No matter what the location is, even if it was under the sea for all I care, no food means failure. Now that’s a wedding, what about dinner? The name of the event I was here for is dinner which equals food. Instead I had been served by two grown people fighting. That’s what people don’t know, when you see people living in mansions and driving fancy cars, they always assume that their problems are better than yours because they have money. That’s far from the truth unfortunately. High walls come with guarded secrets and family in fighting just as much as people with no fences if not worse.

“Come back here!”

I hear my boss shouting and doors were being banged.

“You can’t accuse me of cheating on you in front of children then walk away like a small brat! Come show me how and why I am cheating on you?”

This guy had it good. He could make it seem as though he was innocent because he was certain she had no ounce of proof on her side. I also felt she had lost her temper too quickly and should have waited for a better moment to take him on. Now she looked paranoid and disoriented but something she had started.

“You know you delete all your messages so how will I ever find out? You think you are so clever!”

She shouted back. This shit was getting real by the moment. Lunga stood up and went upstairs after them. I could hear him telling his father that they were embarrassing him but I did not hear what the father said. When he came back downstairs he looked rather dejected I was tempted to say that the father had planned all this for the dinner to have failed so spectacularly but was it not the mom who had started this fight.

“Is your mom going to be ok baby?”

Aurelia asked him so innocently. I don’t why people bother going to acting school because women can act. He gave her a glare but did not response.

“Lunga do you need us here? I think maybe this should be family time!”

I said to him at the same time my stomach was making hunger sounds. It was pointless being here if you consider how bad things had gone in a very short time. He had brought her flowers and that had been forgotten in less than a heartbeat.

“No please don’t go. I can’t handle these two when they get like this. Mum always pulls these stunts whenever we have happy moments and dad always talks her out of it!”

He said. Talk about a dysfunctional family. This can’t be life. Every day a new war to fight and worse in front of people. They had lost that respect for each other if they allowed themselves to humiliate each other in front of people like this. That divorce was long overdue maybe but what do I know, I grew up with a single parent!

“I think we should go!”

Aurelia said to me when more doors started banging upstairs. She was right. It did not feel to be safe here anymore. Lunga was a man he could take care of himself I am sure.

“I think so too!”

I agreed with her out loud. I was not going to stay and be called in as a witness by police if something drastic went wrong. Drama just seemed to follow me around lately and it is not a nice feeling. Lunga tried to ask us to stay longer but not in this environment. He offered to come with us but Aurelia said that it was best he stay with his family because right now they needed each other. This girl was something else. She was my friend yes but everything happening here I was because of her, no doubt! She was the other woman in this case and by the way she was acting it was like she had nothing wrong.

As soon as we got into the car and where out of the estate I had to say something and I said it.

“Aurelia, what are you going to do now?”

I asked her as we drove off. I could see her hands her shaking and what had happened in there had rattled her even though she tried to act calm and composed.

“Nothing, this has nothing to do with me!”

She said in such a dismissive manner. She kept her eyes on the road and started to play music. I switched it off immediately because I was not going to let her disrespect me like this even if we were in her car. She did not seem to care about what she was doing at all and friendship or not I had to say it.

“Stop this thing you are doing. You are my friend and I will always have your back but in this situation you are wrong. You are fucking the father and getting engaged to the son whilst you are working for the mother! What is wrong with you?”

I asked her angrily. She really was pissing me off with the way she was acting as though all was well with the world.

“What do you want me to do? It’s already done!”

She said. She had given up on her own situation as though she is not the one who had created it. I hate it when girls act the victim in messes of their own making.

“It’s not done because you are still doing it. Sorry to burst your bubble but Lunga knows about you and his dad! He has always known! He dated you to spite his father and yes, at some point ended up falling in love with you but he knows! How long do you think that’s going to last? What if he told his mother? You are too blind to even see that!”

I told her. She kept quiet for a moment and much as I was panicking inside I was not going to back down.

“How long have you known?”

She asked me. Maybe now was the time to shut up but now that I had brought it up there was no turning back. A friendship full of lies and secrets is not worthy of being called a friendship.

“A few weeks!”

I told her. I could see what she was doing, trying to place the blame on me.

“And you didn’t see it fit to tell me Faith?”

She asked me. I could not tell whether she was angry or not but like I said, I was already in so was not going to keep quiet about it.

“Yes. How can I tell you when you believe that you are so right and entitled to this? I warned you when you befriended Refiloe and you said you can handle it. I am your friend and this is me intervening. What Refiloe said I know you know was directed at someone? I don’t know if she knows but there was a way in which she said it which makes me worry even more about you!”

I warned her yet again. She was uncomfortable with being put on the spot that was clear but it had to be done.

“Yes I noticed that too and I felt guilty. These days the way she talks to me I feel like there is something she is not telling me. You could be right. What should I do?”

She asked me. Wow, that went better than I thought. I thought she would stop the car or something and tell me to walk the rest of the way for not telling her but she did not. I suspect she already knew what was coming and was prepared for it.

“What should you do?”

I asked her incredulously but much as I thought I had answers they just would not come immediately.

“You will have to break up with both of them!”

I gave her in my honest opinion.

“If i do that then I would have wasted my time. All these years going back and forth, it’s not easy to start afresh.”

She said to me. I doubt very much that she was listening to me because if she still needed answers for that then she was really in trouble.

“Have you thought of what’s going to happen especially now that he knows about Lunga and you?”

I asked her. She laughed then she sighed defeated.

“I don’t know but am scared. I had thought Refiloe would protect me because it will be very odd if he fights his daughter in law in front of everyone!”

She had it all figured out didn’t she. What a delusional little bitch! Women can be so cold and calculated at times. All she was seeing in all this was what her benefit was.

“Aurelia, if Refiloe finds out, if she does not know already, she will kill you. There is no other word I can think of!”

I told her. Yes that troubled her. She was in too deep and there was no turning back in her mind.

“Lunga emptied his savings to buy you a ring and you accepted it. What would you do that Aurelia? You used to be an independent free thinking girl but now you seem to think without his money you cannot be yourself and that’s bullshit!”

I told her. She is not the only girl doing that though. I read on twitter the other day some guy who went off on these wayward girls and I totally agreed with him. He said things like, ‘you will find girls with degrees that will do anything to get to a man’s money. Tell me please maybe I am the stupid one here but, how is chasing another’s man’s money your hustle? Every Instagram picture you post is in the club, airport, or in bed hungover! Take a picture of your work for a change tu! Aurelia was like all those so many girls selling themselves for trips abroad and money who funny enough still don’t believe they are prostitutes. She was no different from those half naked girls flashing their goodies on Instagram but have the never to judge the girls on the side of road. I was so angry at her now and girls like her. They will lose all their morals for status forgetting that they can make their own money too if they wanted.’ That was Aurelia for you. She was educated from a good university at that but when you listen to her it was like she had never had brains in that pretty head of hers! No matter why men don’t respect us. Its girls like these that do that to us.

“I have said my piece now what you do is up to you. Break this engagement and break up with these men. They are bed for you and if you not lucky it’s going to cost you more than just your dignity.”

I warned her. The rest of the trip was quiet. I had given her a lot to think about and with good reason. I had wanted us to stop and buy food but with the way it was so tense I decided to let it slide. Will make bread when I get home or something. No use trying to flog a dead horse.

She left without saying bye.

“You are back so soon?”

My sister asked me when I got in. I told her of the fight that had taken place without telling her all the details. She could not believe that people would fight in front of strangers but it was fact and had happened.

“Mum told me to tell you that your trip is off. She said that Meladi is sick but they want you to go with Mudenda alone!”

She said.

I don’t think I heard that correctly.

Must be more tired than I thought!


******The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike
Good Morning Zulu Girl Family

Hope everyone is doing well. Mike thank you for the wonderful reads we get every morning and for the platform you gives us as readers to share our stories and get advice. Family please help I’ve been dating my boyfriend for three years now and we want to take things to the next level.
We both 24 have no kids, kind of doing okay in our Jobs….and both still live with our mothers. We’ve recently started buying things for a house as we looking to buy a house together in June thing is I do not know how to say it to my family.

I come from a very strict family, anything that we (my cousins and I) want to do has to be presented to the elders of the family and only then will you be given permission to do it. I do not do as I please I am not even allowed to sleep out (even though my mom lets me sleep out once in a while).

When speaking to Mom she reckons he must pay Lobola first then will I be allowed to move out of home, we fully understand that however that is not what we currently want to do, we want to get married when we 27 so we will probably start negotiations when he is 26 and he cannot marry me whilst he is still living at home (where will we live after the wedding???) nor can I buy a house and still stay with my mother and let him live alone there. It’s not about me just to live with my man it’s about me growing up wanting to take charge of my life, and I’m turning 25 next year how long will I be subjected to stay at home and get married first before I can own my home (My sister is 35 and still lives at home she got too comfortable it’s hard to move out now ) Even if we don’t get married I have to grow up at some point or am I missing the point here? Please advise on how to tackle this issue or if maybe I am wrong.
Thank You


The twitter handle mentioned above is @lebolukewarm

16 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter One Hundred and Four

  1. Nice read team.
    QnA you sound like you got all lf this covered and i admire ur strength to want to grow into an independent lady. Im also the same age as you and are also in negotiations with an estate agent. I feel that is tge best thing u cn ever do for yourself. But buying a house with your boyfriend is a No No no matter how perfect. Your relationship is. What if you separate (God forbid) but breakups are real. I say buy YOURSELF YOUR OWN HOUSE then when you n ur boyfriend gt married wl negotiate wht. To do. NEVER BUY A HOUSE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. If married people can divorce who says lovers cant separate. Goodluck though

  2. Hey Mike. thanks for the Monday morning fix. My dear I agree withAyzo. Dont buy with a boyfriend. Dont be in a rush to grow up. the excitement can be shortlived with the wrong guy or with the guy who compromises your family values. Enjoy your relationship and honour your family however not to the point of being a slave to them. You can live with another girl until your boyfriend is ready to marry. Ask us veterans, who had boys that said they would marry in 3years time-nothing came of it. The man I am with is the man who made an immediate plan.If a man loves you, he will find a way. Lobola or not coz boys of these days tyhey like to cohabit for years without paying lobola or signing a certificate. Look at that lady who was Mrs Tshabalalala on #OPW last night, to have waited so long.

  3. I read on twitter the other day some guy who went off on these wayward girls and I totally agreed with him. He said things like,……… I think he was credited

  4. Why dont you postpone buying a house for a year or so and not living together till then. You can both move out of home and share with a friend to save costs. It will be easier for your families to accept that and it will also give you some freedom.

    Then maybe just before the lobola negotiations have started, you guys can live together.
    Or he can stay alone in this house that you guys buy together for 2 or so months as the lobola’ing is under way.

  5. QnA I must give you credit for where your life is at such a young age. If you can afford a bond on your own right now by all means please go for it. Property is first and foremost an investment. Just make sure it’s in your name and you don’t allow love to cloud your judgement. I am not an advocate for marrying to early and your lobola is sounding very much a pressured thing with all going on around you. I suggest you do it for you then not because you can’t breathe at home. Your parents mean well but they will always treat you like a baby if you are in their house. You need to be alone for a bit before moving in with another man. I also think you are not communicating well with your parents because I believe the moment you say you want to move out even into a flat they will ask why and you will be able to highlight your lack of freedom without offending them. Good luck

  6. I don’t think buying a house with your boyfriend is a good idea at all. if you feel that you are all grown up I suggest you buy your own place, your boyfriend can visit but let the place be in your name. I don’t mean to scare you but things will change once you start living with your boyfriend. right now you are used to seeing each other during the day and depart when night falls. once you begin to live together full time you will understand what it is I am talking about. right now I suggest that you get a place that is in your name and yours alone and once the two of you are married, you can plan on buying yourselves your dream home.

  7. Maria, kudos to you for considering such a big step. Wish at 25 I had the mindset to do that. But I have to say thanks to this blog a few months back I clicked on 1 of the adverts tsa homeloan and tried my luck and then before I knew it I am in the process of owning my own house:-)

    Having said that, I am somewhat in agreement with not buying a house with a boyfriend, it’s not something that I would do personally, but I have friends that actually went that direction and things are working out fine for them so I guess it’s all luck of the draw.
    If you cannot afford to buy the house on your own then what the 2 of you can consider is maybe purchasing this house but renting it out for the next year or so, that way you have the investment in your names, the rent pays the installment and the money that was supposed to be used for the installment your boyfriend can save up for lobola, then he can be ready to lobola you which will not trespass on your parents wish for you and after the lobola you can both move in to your home after that. It is a win-win situation with minimal compromise from your side, and should things go sour before the lobola materialises, you can both sell the house or the one buys the other out and move on with your lives, all is definitely not lost.

    Wish you all the best. Let us know how things turn out for you in future!

  8. I wouldn’t buy a house with my bf. I’m the same age as u and I bought my own flat and live in it alone while my bf is renting a flat. Next year he will buy his own flat and we will move in together while I rent out my flat. That way I still have my independence. When he has has paid lobola we are gonna rent out both flats and buy a house together. Your parents can’t have a problem with you living alone. Just don’t buy a house with someone you not married to!

  9. A-Team great read as always!

    Q&A: I agree with all who say buying a property with a boyfriend is wrong.
    U can only do that on 1 condition: as a future investment. Meaning rather buy an apartment/flat in a gud area and co-own it 50/50. U can move in 2getha in the apartment while planning yo future.
    Jst in case things go south (God forbid) then U can jst sell & share the profits.

    Personally I’m not in support of leaving 2getha b4 marriage. I wud say buy yoself a house or flat in yo own name move out of the house. Let him be a man & save 4lobola.
    Once he has started he shud also be looking for a house 4both of U sign the bond as 50/50 owners. Then get married IN COMMUNITY OF PROPERTY. – PapaG

  10. Hey. I work for a bank and in a homeloans department. I have seen it all. Divorce cases. Cheating cases. Arrears and all. Trust me when I say. U wud rather wait till u get married to be having a joint homeloan acc not that it is any better but atleast there wud b a reason to be owning one with hubby.Buying a house is not as easy as u guys think. Infact owning a house is a lifetime commitment. If I had my way. I wud hv bought it alone and opted for a and c nuptials in that way i wud know that i am secured for life. I am married mind u.

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