For a moment I stood there very confused by what had just happened. He had walked out and left us here in The Oyster Box looking like idiots. The other tenants in the restaurant stared at us like we were criminals, my daughter and I. Problem. Is, I could not move. My feet felt stuck to the floor. I am very certain that when he hugged her by the car he had grabbed her ass and she had not fought back or pulled away. That was a sign that this had happened before and it did not happen by mistake. I am certain of this because I saw it with my own eyes. I was not that far not to have seen him. You know there are things that make you doubt what you see? It’s true because at this very moment I was questioning myself whether or not I had really seen that? This was the worst time for this to be happening to me. Had I seen correctly? I know I had. It’s a pity I could not play it back somehow as evidence. I was being played! I know what I saw but again I looked like the bad person and now I looked like it in front of my daughter. We had discussed a renewal of vows yes but why did it have to be a secret, done by one spouse. It’s not like I did not know that the idea was there, I did, and I had approved. I smelled a rat and yes it might appear as paranoia but he had given me every reason why to be paranoid. Men do that to you and turn around to blame it on you.
“Mommy we have to go back to the hotel! People are looking at us funny. Maybe he will go there!”
She said quietly next to me. She held my hand and squeezed. She was right about this because at this moment all the energy in me was gone.
“I don’t get what I did wrong though?”
I said to my daughter in what came out as barely a whisper.
“Mum this is not the place let’s go!”
Yes, good point, I needed to drown myself in alcohol. I just needed an escape out of my miserable life. At every turn I was made to look like the bad guy. We like saying that when women cheat men will never find out but in all honesty that’s just a self victory because when they cheat and you find out, who gets hurt? in your secret cheating the only people who knew are you so called friends hence in all honesty your man is not affected. Most women suspect that their husbands are cheating but because they can never prove it they suffer from within. Men seemingly are always two steps ahead.
“What are we going to do mum?”
Lintle asked me as we drove back. It’s not very far to the hotel from where we were. In fact it could be a 20 minute walk. He had not gone very far to cheat if you think of it.
“I don’t know baby? Do you think he is cheating though?”
I found myself asking my daughter. Some people might say it’s wrong to talk to a child but at this moment she was the only one I was with and I needed someone to wake me up from this nightmare.
“I am not too sure mum but something is up. You said that dad is the one who insisted we come to Durban and on the first night he disappears to see a woman at night whilst we are sleeping!”
She said getting onto her phone to chat. What’s with teenagers and chatting though? The moment you put them in a car they go on their phone. That was Lintle for you! I used to think she was being rude and not paying attention but who am I kidding, she can hear everything and still talk to you.
“That’s what I was thinking too. It felt like it was not a coincidence.”
“I feel like you two need to talk though. Maybe this trip is more about you and not about me!”
She concluded. Clever! She was trying to shift the attention on us and not herself.
“Mum, I know you are angry at me for having sex and I am sorry! I have no regrets though because it was not his idea but mine. He actually wanted us to wait longer but I was tired of. Being a virgin. I wanted to experience it for myself and now that I have, I don’t think it’s as fun as people make it sound. It was actually sore!”
She said still not looking me in the eye. The way this child was random. That came out of nowhere and we had not even gone up the hotel. I was not about to run and find my husband when my daughter was opening up like this. As a mother how do you take it when your daughter tells you she has just lost your virginity. I think my mother would have given me a proper hiding but this is today, hitting her would only make her want more!
“But why didn’t you tell me you have been having such thoughts to lose it! I would have spoken to you about it!”
I said trying to hide my anger. She knew I had to practise restraint because she had spoken to me first. I had not questioned.
“Spoke to you about it from where? From the prison you sent me to?”
She asked me this time looking up. She still called that place prison yet twice already she had run away from it.
“I am not going back there mum! I want to go back to school, to my friends and be normal again.”
She said sternly. I told her that she did not go to that place out of charity but because she had chosen to walk down a path she knew she would get in trouble.
“You are so quick to see me as the bad guy, dad brought a daughter home and I got in trouble. That daughter has a sugar daddy and guess what, I get sent to reform school! How do you think I feel with all that is happening in our lives? I am no longer his favourite because I am no longer the only one! It’s not easy to live with! I know in your head you say it’s because I am spoiled but it’s far from the truth!”
She said getting out of the car.
“Can we please go up now!”
She asked. We had parked on the second level down in the basement. We walked quietly to the elevators! When we got to the hotel room I noticed immediately that my husband’s bags were gone. Instead, he had replaced them with our plane tickets. What the hell? He had left us in Durban.
“Call your father!”
I told Lintle immediately. She picked up her phone and dialled and thank heavens he picked up,
“Dad why did you leave?”
I heard her ask him. I don’t know what he said to her but the next thing she was giving me the phone.
“Sizwe I am sorry. I read that situation wrong, please come back! Please, I am begging you!”
I cried as soon as I got the phone. He would not have picked up if he did not want to talk.
“No I can’t do that! Today you embarrassed me and us as a couple. I think we both need a time out. Fix the things between Lintle and you and I will find a place to stay. Will come tomorrow afternoon.”
I did not know what else to say. Is this not what often happens though. As a woman you are made to apologize for the wrongs of your partner. You are manipulated into believing that you are the wrong one in the first place when usually vice versa is true.
“Put Lintle on the phone please, I will see you tomorrow…”
He said and that was it. I gave my daughter the phone. They spoke for like 30minutes and he had her laughing and in stitches. When she was done I heard her tell her father that he must forgive me and come back because I was not handling it well. Sweet little devil was a charmer that’s why I could not trust what she had said about turning over a new leaf. She hung up and came and sat next to me.
“Mum do you realize that if dad is cheating we played into his hands?”
She said when the lights were out.
I asked her!
“Think about it, all we succeeded to do was make him sleep out! We are the ones to blame for it and if he doess anything out there with say… Samantha, we would never know!”
This child! I had not thought about it but she was right yet again. We had put ourselves in a position where in fact, I had given him a free pass to go and cheat. He had said she was leaving in the morning and they did not need that much time!
I did not sleep that night. I was tossing and turning. I could not. Stop drinking about that woman having sex with my man. Three times I feel awoke during the night and three times the same dream came back. In the morning I checked my phone to see if maybe by some miracle he had left a message. I also checked Lintles phone and there was nothing. I called him and his phone was off. I realized why? His charger was in the bag I had as I had packed the chargers. How did he expect me to bond with Lintle when I could not even keep myself together? He needed to be here. I sent him an sms,
“Sizwe please come back. We are worried sick about you and we have hardly slept. Please come let’s talk as a family!”
I said trying to appeal to his more compassionate side. I was still very tired but I had no sleep. Left in me. Not at a time like this.
It was my father. What did he want though? I was not ready for him so I ignored the phone.
“Sibongile has been arrested and I can’t get her out. I need your help please.”
My mum was not going to like this!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thanks Mike for the good work.
I’m a 23 year lady met this guy almost a year ago while I was dating someone else. We started off as friends because we were both dating different people. We didn’t have a problem with that then the guy lost his gal friend to death. After some time he moved on from the girlfriend and we started to take things seriously and dated I fell in love with him cause he got some qualities that I needed from a guy. it came alright till few months later were he just went silent and I have tried to find out what’s wrong that I have done but he always says nothing and he loves me but he doesn’t have time for our relationship. I really love this guy but I dont know whether to let go or just wait he will come around (was in the same situation as Rendane and accepted as it is and still loved him the way)
sorry for the long assay