If you think you are small, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito and that is what Aurelia did not get. To her I was tiny and small thus why to her I could not meant to get fancy things such as a modelling contract! We all have them, friends who think that they are greater than you or better than you. They see your achievements as smaller than theirs. It happens mostly when you are a struggling single mother like myself and they treat you with an “ah shem” mentality. People don’t get it when they don’t have babies and you did it alone, it’s like it takes some of that dignity away from you. It comes across as though you were weak that’s how you ended up here. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying those friends don’t love you, no, I am saying you might as well be disabled the way they treat you. That was Aurelia with me. I know she loved me but for some reason she saw my having a baby as being a victim on every level. What was it that made her believe that I could not get a modelling contract? I was really hurt by the way she had said it as though I can’t achieve anything after this! That got me thinking. I needed to call Thulare. When I dialled his number the phone hung up as though I had been blocked. You know when someone blocks you, it rings once then does not go through! That was the sound I had on my side. He had blocked me. I could feel a pit in my stomach. I called Tidimalo in panic mode!
“Thulare just blocked me!”
I told as soon as he finished saying Hello. He asked me why and I told him everything that had happened. I liked this guy, I won’t lie. He was a perfect gentleman and in this country those are hard to come down. When I finished telling him I asked him what he thought I should do.
“Firstly I am sorry I did not know how he was related to Meladi and I won’t lie that creates a huge problem. I dont know how you guys are going to move forward from here because wow, I can’t even believe that this could be happening!”
He said letting out a small whistle at the end. Yes this was bad and I could see why. I did not need to be told but where did this leave me? I wanted Thulare. I am not that dumb to let a good thing walk away from me. I needed to fix this somehow! Why can’t Meladi just die and leave me alone? Even when I wanted a good thing for myself I felt her presence!
“I need to do something to win him back to my side though. You know I am not a bad person and I deserve to be happy!”
I cried to Tidimalo. It is funny to note how just a few days ago he had been the one I wanted. Have relationships become that cheap that we can shift our feelings from one person to another so fast? I could tell Tidimalo had no solutions to this one but like a true friend he promised he would do something about it starting with calling him. When he hung up he tried to call him. He sent me a message soon after saying his phone was not going through either. I was relieved. Maybe I had not been blocked after all. I was getting ready for bed when an sms came in,
“Stay away from my cousin you leach! I have already told him how you tried to kill me and all the bad things you did against me and Mudenda and yes I added so many more spicey things about you and how you can’t keep those legs shut and how that bastard of yours is not even Mudenda’s child! I bet you he has blocked you already!”
That was Meladi.
If you are reading this I hope you can hear those popping sounds that soft porridge makes when you are boiling it because that was my blood right now. It was boiling and my palms were sweaty. Did this girl even remember that we would be together for a weekend in a few days? I want to hear her say that to my face! I swear beyond all my ancestors and their ancestors that when I am done with her she will tell me why she does not value her life like this.
She better be praying to a living God because the things I had planned for her, hell is better!
I went to bed with a heavy heart and this put me in not so great a mood the following morning. It was a busy day at work and my boss was not there so I could not ask for the day off. Eventually I had to go to Orapeleng to tell her my situation and she said it was ok she would cover for me. She told me that her cousin also had Maintenance Court the same day as me so she knew how stressful it was. Maybe this girl could become my friend after all. I thought she would gossip it to everyone in the office that I was going there. I also told Lunga about it and he said he would have taken me where it not for work. That was fine. I was going to go with Tidimalo. We had already discussed but guess what, last minute he cancelled and said it was because Nozipho did not feel comfortable about it. What a day I was having! My mother could not take me nor my sister as she had to stay with Amo. So for a second night I went to bed a bit sour. Now I was certain that I had been blocked because again Thulare did not call me or say anything. My phones still did not go through.
In the morning as I got ready to leave there was a car that pulled outside. I did not know it.
“Sorry I did not call before I got here. Was taking a chance that you were still here. Are you ready to go?”
It was Thulare. I had forgotten that when we went shopping I had told him all that was happening and he had said he would take me. That of course was before he knew who Mudenda was.
“I just have to take my bag and put on my perfume but I am done.”
I told him as I went back in. I was not sure what was going to happen but the relief of seeing him outside was so much. I knew this day was not going to be a good one considering what was about to happen and having someone on my side with me was what I needed. He knew where the court house is and we drove in silence. I could see that he was avoiding a confrontation with me but at some point he asked,
“Did you really call a radio station and accuse Mudenda’s father of rape?”
He asked me. Ok of all the things that I had done I had not expected him to start with that one.
“I wish I had just to get the satisfaction but no, I did not.”
I said without looking at him. I don’t care what he thinks anymore because I am certain he had been told enough to make a preacher wild.
“I am not going to ask you what you have been told about me because it would be unfair as it’s one sided but I am not the person Meladi would paint me out to be!”
I said in my defence.
“I don’t like listening to gossip and prefer to make my own conclusions on a person but I am not hard headed enough not to take notice of what is said. I have a child, and much as I am not looking for a mother for my child as yet, I can’t just bring anyone to my baby. She has lost too much as is!”
We never spoke much about his child. I actually realized it was always me doing the talking.
“You have never told me about the mother of your child or is it private?”
I asked him. What kind of a girl would leave a guy like this so? She must have lost her mind.
“I know. I always avoid the question!”
“Martha died of a car accident on December 23 two years ago!”
I should never have asked. I should never ever have asked now I had to say sorry and it would be awkward.
“Goodness, that’s the last thing I expected. Wow! I am really sorry!”
I said to him. I half expected him to cry but he turned to look at me with a smile.
“It’s alright. I have moved on. It’s life. I just don’t like talking about her that’s all!”
He said and I got the message. I was not to ask anything about her ever again. This was the worst feeling however because it automatically felt I was competing with someone I could not compete with and win. Secondly, I already had a baby, getting serious with this guy would automatically make me a mother of two!
I was only 23 and no I did not want this!
***** The End*****
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thanks Mike for the opportunity!
I’m a 21 years old lady, been dating this guy for a while now. He’s 26 by the way, we’ve been having a healthy long distance relationship since from the word go would communicate every now and then, and I would visit him 2 weekends every month. But things took a turn a week ago, he sent me a text early in the morning saying he’s letting me go. I asked him what went wrong and he just said because I’m far from him. I was so hurt and disappointed, the same day he dumped me I got a job closer to his workplace. The problem is he’s been apologising for the decision he took and begging me to take him back as distance won’t be a problem anymore. I love him so much but he has hurt me so bad, I’m scared that he might dump me again if i take him back as I’ve done Civil Engineering and we always changing sites. What to do now?