Rumblings – Chapter Ninety Five

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

There are things that make. You laugh and things that make you cry. This made me neither. What are the chances that my dream guy and saviour was related to my worst enemy and also seemingly on friendly terms with him. I honestly did not even want to go into this. My heart was sore. This changes a lot. How would it work that my son will be raised by my baby daddies cousin.

“How do you guys know each other?”

He asked me again and he was. Smiling. Thulare had this smile that could melt even the devils heart. He was such a happy person and it almost seemed like he had no worry in the world. I could see why Tidimalo had thought that we would be good together. He understood me and today at shopping he had shown me so many beautiful sides of him. Not many girls can say that about a guy because most men are full of shit. I was about to lose that innocence now ith him as. He was about to get caught up in my world of lies and deceit. I did not want that for him though, I really did not.

“Yes Faith tell him who I am?”

Mudenda said with a smirk on his face. He was enjoying this because he knew what would happen next because of the person that I am or was. It was something we had once discussed because some girl in university had gone through. All the guys in one crew had slept with her and the only people that did not seem to care about it was well, her! The guys made it a joke and would laugh at her behind he back. She knew this but still did not stop. When you date relatives or brothers it feels like they are passing you around. As a woman it makes you feel cheap and used. Men are not beyond doing that. Women rarely ever want to pass off their man to someone else even if he is an ex. We don’t have room in our hearts to share what once belonged to us. Guys on the other hand can pass you around and even have a bet to see which of them gave it to you the best. That’s how I felt right now. I was like a guinea pig being experimented on.

“This is the arsehole baby daddy I have been telling you about!”

I told him. The smile on his face was immediately removed by what I can only say it was replaced by a snarl. He had confusion on his face and who would blame him, I had it too. Of all the guys in the world I had to have chosen this one. Life for you.

“We arsehole is a bit harsh don’t you thing! It’s not what or how you should address the father of your child in front of people!”

He said smugly. He was pushing my buttons. Had he come to piss me off because it felt so.

“I think I should go!”

Thulare said. He gave me a cold hug but did not acknowledge Mudenda as he got into his car and drove off. I can’t believe that had happened. I had not even tried to stop him because I knew how he felt. I wanted to go too and bury myself somewhere where I would not be found.

“That was not awkward at all!”

Mudenda said sarcastically. I could have punched him at that moment but my mother came outside.

“Oh I was about to call you!”

She said when she saw me. Mudenda said he had to go as well and thanked my mother for accepting. He said he would call me. My mother seemed to be in a good mood. She took the plastics from me from the shopping bags. She jokingly asked how much I had destroyed her accounts. I told her not to worry. How could I tell her that my boss had given me the money?

“What did Mudenda want?”

I asked her as I sat down with my baby in my hands. It’s so funny how no matter how much you hate your baby daddy, the constant reminder he left you off him you love so much. The fate and curse of women. There is no getting away from it.

“He came to give us the accommodation details for this weekend.”

She told me as I sat down.

“Why didn’t he just email them? There is no reason why he must come here!”

I said to my mum in what came out as a snap but she did not reprimand me. She could see I was annoyed. But I did say she was a in a good mood.

“He also left money for Amo and brought groceries for him!”

I was stunned. This was the first money we had received from him voluntarily and this a day or two before maintenance court. He was up to something. I think he thought by giving me money and buying these things I would not have a hard line against him when we went to court. If that was the case he was going to know me better. Can’t be a father just by virtue of having a dick. It takes more to be a father.

“I was thinking, how much do you hate Meladi?”

What a question?

“Why mum? It doesn’t solve anything.”

I said.

“Well I like this young man and I think you i should to her what she did to you?”

I laughed.

“I am serious. You can’t have other women run over you! You need to punish them. This weekend it’s your turn. She is fat and pregnant and you are not. I know there is a swimming pool and what what there! You need a bikini! You will see. How fast a man changes in that situation. For too long she has been comfortable at your expense. I am not saying get him back but make sure she knows you can take him anytime you want!”

My mother said with a serious look on her face.

“I second that!”

My sister said from behind us. I had not seen her enter.

“You guys can’t be serious. Why would I go after a man who does not want me?”

My sister explained how she should not go unpunished.i actually realized that my mother and sister had had this discussion in my absence. That’s why it seemed as though they were ganging up on me. A part of me did not want to take the money but truth be told we needed it. I was not going to spend it though. I was going to put it in my savings for future use for Amo. I was going to put in an education fund of some sort.

“Did you hear that father’s who do not pay child maintenance are going to be blacklisted from now onwards?”

My sister asked me. Ok now that was the best news I had heard in a while. I had heard that they were discussing the law but never actually thought it would happen. Mudenda must have heard about this. He was always aware of what’s happening. It would explain why if he was being nice he would think I would ask for less maintenance. The man thought he was clever. Probably Meladi put him up to it.

“I won’t do it mum. This trip is already too much for me. I have a job so why should I pursue them?”

I asked her. She laughed at me. My own mother laughed at me.

“You know back when I was girl women used to be like you. Passive aggressive, suffer from inside and say that they would have to take care of the child themselves. They wouldd take their kids to their grandmothers. Things have changed now. You fight for what you want out there. Obviously you don’t want Mudenda back, not after the way he treated you but…”

She raised her finger for some reason and then continued,

“But Meladi must be made to suffer. She betrayed and is still acting like she is the victim here. You just don’t walk away with punishing the cow. From now on wards you must be tough because men don’t pay maintenance even where there court says pay. Believe me on this I have seen it too many times. The problem is usually his wife who does not seem to acknowledge that like her you are a mother and your child needs to eat. That is Meladi for you! She is selfish, arrogant, spoilt and thinks that you are weak and disposable. The choice is yours whether Amo gets his fair share or not!”

She said. I was not sure how to take this advice because I was not about that life of revenge. However, can’t believe that am actually saying this, my mother had a point. Women like Meladi do not support other women. I will think about it. My mother went to bed immediately after. As I was working now I did not have to do the dishes but I helped my sister anyway. She must be tired. She said her envelopes would pay her in a month. She wanted to see my new outfits. I could sense a tinge of jealousy in her though. I can’t blame her. We had not even started when Aurelia called.

“I forgot to tell you that Refiloe asked me for your numbers! Has she called you?”

She asked me.

“Yes she came to see me. Why?”

I asked her.

“Please don’t mess things up for me. I am on the verge of signing the biggest contract of my life. Be nice to her and give her what ever she wants because I need this!”

She said sweetly. I love Aurelia but girls like her use people. They want to benefit from every situation.

“Of course I will help where ever I can. She has not fully said what she wanted. I thought she wanted to offer me a modelling contract like you hey but you know my luck!”

I said and we both laughed. I had to make a lie and that’s the best I could come up with.

“Contracts are not for everyone love!”

She said laughing and hung up. I know she was joking but that hit home hard. It was like I was not good enough to have even thought it.

I was so confused!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Goodday Mike

Mike thank you so much for the good work you doing, your talent is appreciated.

I’m writing to you for you to post my request because I need advise. I’m a 31year old lady, mother to my niece and nephew I don’t have a child of my own. This is my story. 3months ago I met this man and I fell in love with him, everything happened so quick between us. I went against my morals and values with him since I’m a type who will wait for a while before I become inmate with someone but with him it took 2weeks. When we met there was connection and when he told me that he wants a committed relationship as he wants to have family and that is something I’ve been waiting for myself for the past 3years that I’ve been single. I asked him about his past relationship and he told me he was in a relationship with someone and they brokeup because the lady didn’t want to move in with him since he decided to move back to his grandmas house which is a 2room in a township she wanted to continue rent a flat but he couldn’t afford it as he had just started a business and he is renovating the 2room, so she took an offer from her baby daddy who offered her a place. I asked before that was he over his ex because i don’t want to be his rebound told me yes and he can never trust her again. This man has treated me the way I need to treated by a man. I’ve been helping him when he needs money like borrowing him since his business is still growing. Advising him not to give up because I see his potential and his ambition. Than we started having misunderstanding because he didn’t want to use a condom, before we had talked about going to test together but now he keeps postponing it, he will say we need to have a baby I refuse because I think it’s too soon and we are not ready financially. I would also like to have a child when I’m married but he says I’m getting old and him too since his 41. I trusted him till I foundout that he slept with his ex. I had went to his whatsap and saw a chat with his friend that he was telling him his ex slept over. When I asked him he said the fact that he slept with his ex doesn’t mean they are back together. I need to believe in myself, I’m beautiful and clever. Since than there has been a tension between us, and he will say it because of his business not going the way he wants it. But we going to be good. I don’t know what to do now. I love this man yet I don’t think he loves me enough. We dont spend much time as we used too and everytime when I’m at his place I scrutinize it. To see if I will find something that belongs to a lady that’s not mine. I hate that. I want to be free when I’m in a relationship not to play detective. Please advise me on what to do here. Do i take his word and hope that things be back to normal. All he says we going to be good he just needs to solve himself. I don’t want to be 2nd best. Yesterday he said he loves me hid just dealing with personal issues and I asked him where do i stand he said but I just told you where you stand. Stop worrying you worry too much.

My apology for this long essay. Please be honest with me.

Thank you
Miss confused

23 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Ninety Five

  1. Confused that man is using you for money,I dont believe in borrowing ur lovers money,you need a share of that business since u the one bank rolling it. Excuse your self from that situation anyone can see this man only wants sex n money from u nothing else, the ex story he told u is a lie

    I hope u one day see that man for what he truly is no self respecting 41 year old needs to ask hes gf for money to fund hes businesses

  2. Dear Miss Confused

    It sounds to me like that man is taking you for a ride. “Just because we slept together, doesn’t mean we are back together”?! Are you kidding?! Well duh.. but it means you CHEATED. That man doesn’t take you seriously, he blows your concerns off. That’s chilling. My man is 40 and he used to do the same, then I found out he was seeing his ex behind my back.. I called him out a few times then I got tired of it and detached. I don’t know what happened in between all our misunderstandings but he’s the best man ever to me right now. I’m by no means saying that this will happen for you, but a man that doesn’t take your concerns seriously, is a man that isn’t serious or is distracted. You need to explain how serious this is to you to him. Do whatever it takes, if you truly love this man.. fight until you can’t any more. Then it will be easier to walk away.

  3. And yeah.. no 41year old grown ass man should be asking you for money. . There’s an element of being used here.. PASOP.. tlogela go becha monna wa 2minutes ago.. 3months and you’re supporting him? Hayi lady.. doesn’t he have friends or relatives that can help him out? Yoh

  4. i agree with Palesa, letswalo la hao ke modisa wa hao, and the fact that he slept with his ex once should alarm u cause it will happen again and again and again especially considering his response to that. i would say leave him before u find urself pregnant with his baby,its the last thing u want,ul meet ur guy

  5. May God bless you Mike.may he give u courage n strength to carry on ur good work. My days are never the same since I met ur blog. Every time I meet a challenge as a young woman ,I ask myself.. ‘What would mike’s advice be on dis’ n in every chapter I read I get the answers. Thanks Mike

  6. Miss Confused
    Can you spend few seconds looking at HIV Support Group above, I have written a topic titled “My Partner showed HIV Negative Certificate” under “Health Tips”. Please look into it while reminiscing about testing together or dumping him. {For those who care, yes I am promoting HIV forum again}.
    About relationship with cheating, what is in a book is not worth it. Go with your guts, if you feel like giving him a chance and “preventing” him from getting together with ex, the do that. If you don’t have a strength to handle the cheating then pack your bags and go.
    His business can take off or flop, it is a 50/50 and from your letter I dont think you see that as a bigger problem.

      1. Hi Sindo, sorry for delay in answering.

        Mike has given a link few times, so I will just give you a path (or directions).
        All you have to do is scroll up again to the top menu of the website (diary) and you will see “HIV Support” on your right.

        If that fails the in your computer press “CTRL” and “F” and type “HIV” hopefully you will be right.

  7. Miss confused I think you know that this man is not serious about you. For a 41 year old asking money from you its just not cool. I think this man just saw an opportunity(financial) support and lied to you. If he truly loved you he wouldn’t be sleeping with his ex gf. You will help him mara once he has made it he will dump your sorry ass forgeting that you helped him. I would say move on and stop wasting your time and money. I really don’t trust this guy and lady, continue using protection. He probably wants a child so that he can trap you. Yes trap you coz you are financially stable than him who is struggling and making you his “loan shark” lol, but he will probably never pay you back. Be smart about this.

  8. @miss confused, sort out the hiv test 1st, as for sleeping with an ex he will do it again and again and again, u seems to be clever so do what is right-leave the user before he sucks u dry.

    I think he can see that you are emotionally weak that’s why he is not even worried.

  9. Miss Confused

    At three months any relationship should be at its honeymoon phase. Where does a 40 year old man get the liver (usithathaphi isibindi-direct translation) to be accepting or asking for money from a woman he barely knows and on top of that at three months there are already infidelities? No my darling you yourself know that you’re settling. Don’t be a financial plan and motivate it with “love”

    Also this man has no intentions of growing and manning up-at 40 you still want to stay at your parents backroom haibo! at 40 you should be owning a home with back rooms of your own

    Becareful that you don’t fund this business and next thing he is back with the same ex he claims to have broken up with reaping the rewards of what you sowed in to. If you are financier ensure that there will be rewards for you too- ON PAPER! Kudala abafazi bedlala amadoda. Do not be one of them

  10. Miss Confused, I am so sorry to say that seemingly this man is in this with you for transactions and you therefor should not label it as a relationship. He is 41yrs old for crying out loud, he should be in a position to help maintain you, not you maintaining his dream, futhi phezukwalokho, he wants you & the ex / sex partner, then he should be in a position where he can maintain the both of you.
    Sisi pack your feelings away & use your head here, if you are to be his financial support you must stand to gain, draft a contract where both of you sign, vele umshaye ngayo next time ecela ikhekhe…hhhabe ungaphela ikhehla elisafuna ukudlala umacashelana, while leaving kwaGogo.

  11. Q&A Da guy z using u PERIOD.My advice-BALEKA b4 its 2 late.worse he hs zero respect 4 u taking frm hs response about da sex wth da x.nd I understand yo hopes were high since u hv bn single,u r beta off without hm.

  12. People get HIV from someone who is HIV positive mostly from unprotected sexual intercoarse whether hetero- or homo-sexual. The only way to know if someone is HIV positive or negative is through an HIV test. Go for couples counselling where you see the actual result not someone coming to you with a piece of paper.  

  13. miss confused please take that money and save it for ur niece and nephew’s future education. as for the condom part…mthathe Bhejane

  14. Am I the only one who feels this diary is kinda boring? Andaz, there’s just something about all that’s happening that seems to be irrelevant to the actual story “Rumblings of a Baby Mama”…

    Miss Confused
    Um, am sorry dear but this man is sending all the wrong signals and at three months you should be in your honeymoon, and not playing detective. I suggest you give yourself a time-frame and in this time-frame you will work on this relationship. If there isn’t any progress within that time, then let it go. Please remember, a time-frame doesn’t have to be months, make it 3 weeks and see how it goes kodwa umnqwazi wam awuqini tu sana (translation – my hat just doesn’t sit well).

  15. Thanks Mike for always doing your best and being the best, keep up the good work Sir.

    Ms Confused
    The fact that you are even asking for advise is evindence enough that something is not right, as others have mentioned already, listen to your concience sisi its never wrong, and dnt even think the guy loves you, he doesn’t, he is taking advantage of you and it shud stop.

    He needs to grow up and grow some balls and stop sleeping with his ex, that is disrespectful to you and the fact that he is casual about it makes it even worse.

    Be strong lady and love yourself enough not to allow a grown ass man to use and abuse you.

  16. Adv Cmndr Maphoto – U neva disappoint.

    Q&A: Sista Confused, I know UR not a kid anymo @31 but sometimes riddles make ppl understand beta.
    A car is parked for 3yrs then U manage 2get the missing part. U fix it & test drive it. Now U shud renew the disc b4 U put it back on the road. No condom No Sex – Don’t Compromise!
    While testing the car some more U’ve tried 2sport it even buying some mag wheels. If U give this 41yr old money know that its jst donations. True love can’t be bought (even tho it can be used against us men that W shud spend on our women).
    Now U start seeing some potholes, the road is getting rough. STOP! Neutral & hand break! Get out of the car & check way forward. Make a U-turn if necessary.
    Take a step back, scrutinize everything abt this guy & C if UR making a wise investment. Stop throwing mo money when UR not sho. U’ve lost money, don’t lose yo heart too.
    – PapaG

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