I have only ever lived in South Africa unfortunately and so far from what I have learned, South African adults tend to make questionable decisions. Think about it, who is corrupt? Who voted in all the questionable people we now think are either so bad or so untouchable? Who are the bad teachers, mean nurses, sugardaddies, pastors making people eat snakes and those eating them? Who is making those pastors super rich yet at home there is no food? The list is endless but the answer is the same, ADULTS! Guess who they blame? Not them, but us the young ones! No one blames them out of respect of age and cultural reasons but reality is their decision making eish, no wonder why the country is like this. My mother had a 27 year old daughter, Meladi’s father had a 23 year old daughter and Mudenda’s father had a goat for a son but he counts too and just by their ages alone you can have an idea of how old these so called wise people were! This was the decision they had come up with their combined intellect. It was not just a bizarre request but it defined logic. We hated each other and un chaperoned we were going to kill each other.
“Mum you can’t be serious!”
I told her over the phone.
“Look at it this way, you have a child with him and he is having a child with her. You guys used to be friends and if you don’t fix this now your hatred for each other will just grow. Look at how now it’s already affecting Amo. The family do no want to see Amo because they are too scared of what you will do next!”
She said to me and that pissed me off!
“What I will do next? Where were they when I gave birth? Where they when Amo was sick and you and I had to go to hospital in the wee hours of the morning? And you say how I will react?”
It’s weird really! There is no other way to put it. In every stupid baby daddy’s family there are females who know that he has a child outside. They know the struggle which as a woman we go through to raise children alone yet when their men (as in siblings or cousins even friends) make a woman pregnant and abandon they don’t advise him to do the right thing. Instead they help in ganging up on the girl and funny enough even if they know her! Yes I am blaming us women! We all have brothers, cousins, friends who abandoned someone somewhere but we pretend like it’s ok what they did. This is my problem with things like Women’s Month because we don’t stick together! Listen to my mother now defending this lunacy. She knew more than anyone else what I had gone through. I had cried for that man like someone had died. My heart had died and come to life again eventually, that’s how much I had gone through. Why on earth would I want to go back into the vicious cycle again?
“You are going to have to swallow all that in because it’s happening. I said you would come and you are going. End of story!”
My mother said. When you still leave at home, your voice is still owned by whoever is paying the bills in that house. In my case it was my mother. Now I know why Judith wanted us to move out. This was wrong on too many levels.
“Mum please ke ya go rapela (I am begging you) do not make me do this. It will be two of them vs me! I don’t stand a chance. What’s worse is that her father paid for it meaning that she will remind me of that at every point.”
“Three of you?”
My mother asked me.
“Yes three of us. Mudenda, Meladi and myself or am I wrong?”
I asked her confused! She laughed and then said,
“No my dear four of you! Amo is going with? Mudenda must bond with his child!”
Of all of the things she had said, ironically this is the one I hated the most. Say what?
“Mum, I know I am supposed to listen to you but my son is not going anywhere near Meladi! You can kick me out of your house, I will sleep on the streets even but Meladi will not touch my child! That one I can guarantee you with the every little thing that I have!”
She was surprised at that response but I was not going to back down. What if she harms my child? I was not being paranoid, as women we can be irrational at times so if ever there was the slightest chance of that happening to my child then I would never leave it to chance.
“Ok fine he can stay but you are going, That’s final!”
She said and hung up on me. I stood there for a good five minutes confused at what had just happened. Had I brought this on myself? That phone call I had made!
“Dude! Why are you just standing there?”
Aurelia shook me back to life. I had lost my train of thought and forgotten why I was here in the first place.
“I am sorry that was my mum being outrageous again!”
I told her. I did not however give her details of what had gone down because I was actually quite ashamed of all this because this was so not cool.
“Let’s go back to the table please! I need an excuse for us to leave now. No matter what. Please!”
She said and walked out. I followed her out. As we walked out of the bathroom we bumped into Refiloe, my bosses wife and Lunga’s mom.
“Oh wow ladies I didn’t know you were in here!”
She said with a huge smile on her face. Poor woman. Aurelia immediately replied and said,
“Good to see you too. Yes we are here and we with Lunga too. What a coincidence!”
They chatted for a few seconds with Aurelia saying she will come say hi to us. It was a fact now that she was going to tell her husband that we were here!
“Does all this not scare you though?”
I asked her because I don’t think I could ever live the life she was leaving. Always a knife ready to stab you. Why do you go for another woman’s husband though? When a grown man approaches you and even if he says he is divorced, isn’t your first instinct to say he is lying? Why would you do that?
“You guys took forever! Is everything ok Faith?”
Thulare asked me as I sat down. I must be the worst first date ever!
“I am so sorry, my mum again but will tell you later. Lunga we bumped into your mum and she is in here with your dad! Small world!”
I said. He did not seem surprised though. He acted it but you know when a person already knows something but are trying to pretend they don’t. I was not dumb, Lunga knew his parents would be having dinner here that’s why he brought Aurelia here! Why was this guy like this so? He was trying to show up his father? This was not going to end well!
“Oh that’s cool. Maybe they will come over and say hi!”
He said in a nonchalant way. I don’t think he realized that us being here meant that what ever he had planned for his father to see who be negated as it will seem like a bunch of friends just having dinner. Thulare seemed like the type of guy comfortable in any situation because even here he belonged. Aurelia to divert attention I guess, possibly fearing that Lunga’s father will be looking our way focused on Thulare and started asking him lots of questions about himself and where he was from. This meant that I had to speak to Lunga most of the time which I guess worked for me as I was helping her out. This situation though was bad.
We heard a voice from behind us! It was Zama and her man. Wow this was fast turning out into a party. I had not seen her in ages. I stood up and gave her a hug and so did Thulare. She was with Essien, her Nigerian fiance.
“We came to watch the play but moron here forgot our tickets and we can’t drive all the way back for just that!”
She said asking the waiter for a chair.
“They were in you other bag so that has nothing to do with me!”
He responded annoyed. He was a naturalise Nigerian and didn’t have the accent. We had known this guy like forever and even when Zama had cheated with my man, they had been together. Ok that sounds awkward.
“We have seen you guys in a while where have you been?”
“You love birds are the ones who are scarce? Zama I thought that belly would be huge by now. I wish I had your genes though. Look how you look and look at me!”
Aurelia said. Zama had always been one of those girls who do not gain weight and even now pregnant she had hardly changed.
“I feel like a whale but my boobs though,”
She said holding them which made all the guys look up as she squeezed them. Zama has never had a chill bone in her. Told you she was the naughtiest and most fun in our crew which is why she had always been the closest to me back then.
He fiance said and we all laughed.
“They are sexy though babe’s are they not!”
She said pouting and kissing him. Aurelia cleared her throat and turning to Lunga and Thulare said,
“Take a lesson from this man here and make honest women out of us! Don’t waster our time dating us for five years as though you are waiting for Jesus to come back!”
Cracking a joke and we all laughed. It’s true though, guys can date you for ten years even and not see a need for why to put a ring on that finger. It’s as though they don’t see why it’s important.
“O crap your dad’s calling!”
Zama said when her phone rang. Wow he was calling on her phone. This is love.
“Guys give us two seconds please we are going to take this call outside it’s a bit loud in here!”
She said standing up. They walked out!
“Yeah I would marry you too if I needed a green card!”
Lunga said distastefully!
“What did you just say?”
Aurelia asked him!
“Yeah you heard me! They have no business marrying our…”
He did not even finish his sentence because Aurelia stood up, took her glass of red wine an poured it on his head.
“We are leaving Faith!”
She said, not that she had to tell me! She had found her way out and goodness, Lunga,
What a douchebag!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I really don’t have words to explain how your work brings life out of me. Always can’t wait for the next chapter. Keep it up.
I’m a 26year old lady from the rural areas of Mpumalanga, engaged to a very loving man with two wonderful kids.
The problem is I’m in love with my ex, he was my 1st and I’ve never stopped loving him, he was a ladies man but I couldn’t get over him. I knew his girlfriends and he knew my hubby but we still found a way to hookup 1nce or twice a week. When I was with him I felt that he loved me but I just didnt want to get too attached as I knew he was a ladies man and didnt wana get hurt.
Now he is dead, he was gunned down by some tsotsi’s and I feel so broken, I dont understand y I feel this way since I still have my man but every time I think about him I just break down and cry. I am scared I might lose my hubby because he has noticed the sadness and he knows about his death. I’ve tried therapy once but it didn’t work, the women just made me remember everything about my ex from the 1st day I met him and I just couldn’t go back.
Am I being selfish by feeling this way? I now have a lot of “lf only I did this and that”
How do I get over this? Sorry for the long novel
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