Realities – Chapter Forty Three

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An hour later, I found myself arriving at my mothers house. I was so angry that I had eventually calmed down. A lot of men offered me lifts on the way but in my anger I had walked to the nearest shopping centre, got myself a cab number and got home. O how I wish I had the Uber app now because they would have come for me. Speaking of men offering me lifts, is it because they are saints or just taking chances. I have driven for so long now I had actually forgotten what it feels like to do normal things like that. Problem with with Johannesburg is that doing such things can eventually get you robbed. They keep talking about a new transport system but everything is so expensive. Never mind me though! When I got dropped off, my mothers house has a heavy black gate so I could not see who was inside. I rang the bell at the gate but nobody came! Ah, I had a slight panic because nobody picked up. I called her phone and all it did was ring. Imagine if after all that there was nobody home and the sun I forgot to mention was blazing. I sat at the gate and ten minutes later my mother called me.

“Where are you ma I have been sitting at the gate forever now?”

I said as soon as I picked up.

“Dumela Nothabo?”

Was her response. Eish my mother though. That was her way of telling me that I had not greeted her properly so now I had to do the greetings first before I could ask where she was. Such things drive you up the wall I promise you. I greeted her and she then responded that she had actually been at the back of the house and now she would open the gate. I was both relieved and annoyed at the same time but this was the intended result, to enter. Imagine the feelings that swamped me when the gate opened and there was my car in the driveway meaning my husband had driven to my parents house! You know that feeling of when you lose energy because someone just defied logic, that was me. Even the anger that had lingered on inside me had disappeared at that moment! Really! My husband had left me on the middle of the road to go to my mother? I wonder where he had told her that he left her daughter. I wanted to get in there and bite his head off but I honestly asked myself… and then what? Imagine fighting in front of your parents? That was shameful even for me. He was my husband I will fight him when it’s the two of us and I know I can win the fight, not like this! I had a job to do here so let me do it.

“I see you finally decided to join us? Where were you?”

My mother said when I sat down. I was tired and emotionally drained. If this man was trying to tame me then he was succeeding. I had no energy for him.

“He left me in the middle of the road mum! Ask him where I was?”

I said weakly.

“He should have left you in the middle of the N1!”

She said looking me in the eye. What the hell had he told my mother! I can’t believe my husband. He had gone to report me to my mother. They have always gotten along because she has always protected him from my father.

“Let me get you some water you looked a bit flashed,”

He said in what was more of a smart Alec cheeky poke at me but he was right. I was so thirsty and when he handed me the glass it was like the most beautiful taste ever. He took the glass away when I was done probably because he knew at some point I might use it as weapon on him. Yeah you better run!

“Did he tell you why he left me? He has been pouting the whole way here and not…”

I began reporting to my mothing who shooshed me like a little child and said,

“Yes he told me what was going on weeks ago. Even about his two new daughters. I have always known. Even your father knows.”

She said and I cut her off,

“That was not your secret to keep mother! I deserved to know. After all these years I deserved to know!”

I said to her furiously!

“It was not our place to tell. He is your husband he should have told you not us! You talk to me like I am a child and you don’t even speak to your father so who was going to tell you?”

She asked me. She was right though on how I treat her. My mother can be annoying on most times but I love her. I am not the only one who is guilty of this and no its not a doctor thing. As your parents get older you find that on things of the modern world you know way more than them meaning that you take over the heading of the family even though your father is still king. You advise them on most things andd I guess pride creeps in. I never however disrespect them. My mother is the type to slap you even at this age of mine.

“And besides when your father and I once discussed this issue our next point always came down to… and then what?”

My mother was always big on the and then what argument which often left me looking stupid to be honest. I never had a come back to her.

“I don’t know but I would have come up with something!”

I said raising my hands in resignation. Could this woman not see that keeping a secret as big as this about my marriage was wrong.

“So you can talk to my mother but you can’t talk to me Sizwe! What kind of bullshit is that?”

I asked him.

“Don’t use that language in my house!”

My mother responded before he could.

“I have tried to use other words with you but you don’t listen and you do your own thing anyway.”

He said calmly. It was like no one else but me could see that something was wrong with this picture. My own husband could not talk to me but preferred my mother. This marriage really must be more on the rocks than I originally thought and I bet you anything I was the one who is being blamed. I had to change the topic because this is not what we came here for at all.

“I was with papa just now. He insisted I come see his new…”

I got stuck because I had no word for her. I could not even describe her the way it was so awkward,

“…to meet Sibongile.”

I told her and waited to see her response. She stood up and went to the kitchen. I heard the tap open. Five minutes later she came with a Coke 2L on a tray and tennis biscuits. My mom loves those. In that five minutes she was gone I kid you not my husband was making funny faces at me. At first I ignored his childishness but at some point had my mother not come back I would have snapped at him or laughed. Now was not the time for goofing around.

“He refused food and said he will wait for you to get here!”

She said when she placed it on the coffee table. I guess it was meant to be sweet but I was not hungry so he could starve for all I car. My mother then spoke,

“Look, you were coming here to help your father with me behind my back yet you need my advice better than I do!”

She said to me. My mother had a way of kicking my ass mentally whenever I tried to be high and mighty. Even when she was sick and she wanted me to give her something she would find a way of making sure I did exactly what she said in her prescription.

“It was not my intention ma you know what papa is like? I had to stop him before he caused more problems for Sizwe and I!”

I said and I think this was perhaps the trigger she had needed

“You are messing up with Sizwe, Nothabo, not the other way round! You are and if you don’t wake up you will lose everything. You are so proud that you don’t even see that you are one of the very few that actually got a good one. Look at me and your father, after all these years he has the nerve to want to bring a child here and expect me to raise it as my sister wife? Yho shem, that man must have lost his mind if he thinks she will enter that door!”

She said and even clapped her hands once to emphasis this point.

“You know when you step on a cockroach there is that white stuff that comes out of it, a woman who deliberately goes for a married man is more disgusting than it! I don’t care how old she is, ke le sepa!”

She said emphasising her contempt for Sibongile. I had not even brought in what my father had asked me to help with because I knew already that my mother was not in a compromising tone. As for the analogy, I wanted to laugh. I saw Sizwe’s face cringe because imagine how it sounded as the son in law hearing that.

“I am divorcing your father. Don’t be fooled I built him and half of everything here is mine. He can’t kill me because most of the vehicles are in my name. I have already started talking to a lawyer and we made your father sign a form saying that if I die a violent death with him as a suspect it means my entire estate goes to Lintle!”

He said. It is interesting to note yet again how she had jumped my brother. That’s the problem when you smoke nyaope at some point in your life. Parents will never trust you again because it shows how capable you are of making dumb decisions. My brother will therefore always be that guy.

“Divorce mum? Are you not taking it too far? It’s dad we are talking about. You can’t just throw him out just like that?”

I pleaded with her because no child wants to see her parents split up and yes even at my age.

“I have seen it and done it all Nothabo, he has had many affairs and I have forgiven him. Not this one! To have the nerve to tell me that he can bring home that girl? No thank you! I have made my decision and you can’t stop me! Even if he leaves her, I am done.”

My mother said. You know as you get older you forget the strength of a woman and her resilience. My mother had been or rather was the wife of a taxi boss. She was in her own rights a powerful woman but she had always let my father shine. She was the brains behind the business as my father like most men usually made bad decisions.

The gate bell rang loudly in the house. I stood up to go check who it was. It was my father. My mother heard me say his name and immediately she stood up,

“You are not getting into my house!”

She said when she got to the intercom.

“O come on you need to get over yourself!”

My father shouted into the intercom.

“I said you not getting in. If you do I will shoot you!”

My mother said and she was not kidding. In a taxi family you know you keep a gun somewhere.

“Like hell I am not!”

I heard my father reverse the car and 35 seconds later there was a loud crushing sound!

The crazy man had rammed the gate! We ran out to check.

Something was wrong.

He did not come out of the car!

******The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike

i am a 24 year old girl, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now (he is 30) and i love him a lot. am currently employed and he is at school at the moment. in the 4 years that we’ve been together he once cheated on me and i forgave him (2 years ago), he has a tendency of distancing himself, which he is doing now, I tried speaking to him about it and he told me he has commitment issues but he loves me, which am struggling to understand, i’m always the one who is always trying to make it work. i met a guy late last year and he has all the qualities I want in a man he treats me the way am supposed to be treated, he gives me his time and listens to me when i need somebody to talk 2, which is not happening with my boyfriend. I slept with him once and the sex was very bad (and the sex between my boyfriend and is very good) , I told him we should just remain friends because i have a boyfriend (i didn’t say anything about the sex), and he was cool with that, he still gives me his time and attention. my problem is am starting to develop strong feelings for him (the new guy) and i don’t know if i should break up with my boyfriend (who is good in bed, but emotionally unavailable), to be with the guys who gives me love and attention although he is terrible in bed or keep both of them.

Thank You


20 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Forty Three

  1. Thanks Mike! Q&A girl you are playing with fire and you can’t stay in a realitionship for sex bcz he will end up treating you as his Skiki, and for the other guy the thing you must know is sex is only in your its up to you

  2. Pam, your bf is 30 is still distancing himself, at that age “normal” guys would even ask you to move in because they can’t be alone and wanna spend as much time as they can with you, to see if you have marriage qualities I think, so wa hao wa makakatsa, I’d advise you to pour out your heart to him about how you feel, if there aren’t any changes then take a bow…. I left someone years back because he had nothing, (which I truly regret everyday) that guy was so good to me but because I was so naïve I only concentrated on the sex life and ignored how perfect of a guy he was. What I’m trying to say is, don’t friendzone the perfect guy only to regret on his wedding.

  3. iyoooo what a gangster family thanks mike, dear Q and A….. girl I once had the same problem,I had a boyfriend who was good in bed but didn’t give me attention always he was busy…so I ended up seeing this wonderful,caring,loving guy,we had sex jooo it was so BAD,but I took control of the situation, I showed him more moves that we can try, showing him how to do it and now he chaw me better than my first boyfriend.

  4. Thank you Mike….uwhooo talk about crazy in the family…Nothabo kodwa…forever the bully.

    Pam : You know what, sex is something you can work on…the both of you… as time goes on you will learn each other’s rhythm and so forth and you can guide the guy on how he can work you the way you want to be handled, excuse the pun…It took almost a month for me and my boyfriend to get it right when we started dating….so sex is something you can work on….As for your boyfriend yena…he needs to decide what he wants…because he cant have his one foot in and the other out…if he wants to be with you then he will commit to you and the relationship…. But you need to find out from him what it is that makes him have “commitment issues”… I dont even understand when a person says that what exactly do they mean, but ohh well.

    But ke if yu love your boyfriend that much…you can keep both of them….as long as you are willing to live with the consequences of your actions should you be caught.

    All the best nana.


  5. Thanks Mike I wish nothabo’s dad cn b badly injured.@Teluna u cn ask again bt I guess dey r stil tired afta all da long comments dey made yesterday on the Rumblings sum comments whr evn longer than the chapter itself#kwaaaaks#ppl lyk takng thngs personal Mike ‘m vry happy abt all ur blogs

  6. A2Q well to advise you from a guys view, as man we want to provide and make sure that finacially we can take care of over loved ones with that being said, your boyfriend may be telling the truth when he says he loves you, but the fact that if you are finacially stable and he is not is a threat to him that’s why he is probably trying to take care of the grind and then may actually be the man you ever asked for once he gets a job as well.

    What you can do is to try and talk to him because there is more behind the commitment issues excuse try to show him support if that’s the case because you might go for the new guy and after five years abuye lo Mr commitment issus with a good job and lapho you find that he has got his shit together and is now ready to commit then you start cheating on the new guy who gives you bad sex…that’s what I think about this whole thing but its your decision you can also forget about this whole advise and start a future with this new guy cause maybe vele u Mr commitment issues does have commitment issues for real

  7. hahahaha All i heared is “Men make bad decisions” Can i get a Amen!

    A2Q Sis u pointed out that your man cheated, I thought it would be part of problem but you cheating too. So let me get this straight the problem with ur man is that he has commitment issues.. hmmm… show me a man who doesn’t have one. You’re about to make the biggest mistake of ur life leaving 80% coz you want 20% and here’s something else to think about… your makwapheni will never take u seriously, ever. U cheated with him, u will cheat with him. Finish. Make a wise decision… all men r commitment phones, all men distance themselves but not all will stick with u for 4 years.

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