I have always wondered what it is like to have your father there to protect you. When you grow up without your father, having a man protect you really is not all that necessary as you grow older because it’s not something we are used to. We are taught very young that men are useless. This is why this is the one country where the majority of working women have no respect for men because we do things for ourselves anyway. I am told if you go into Africa women worship their men but for someone like me it’s not the same. I am educated and raised by a single mother so for me I see men for what they are. That does not mean that I have daddy issues just the reality of this world. So many guys I know complain that we do not respect them but how do you respect these immature people.
“I asked you a question sir! Why are you here asking about pregnancies?”
My father asked him angrily. He was not polite about it that’s for sure! I was stuck in the middle because I was not sure what to do or say. Ok this was embarrassing. My boss here and my father standing him down.
“I am sorry sir I did not know you were here! I thought Aurelia said you live with your mother!”
He said turning back towards me! My father was not letting it go though.
“But still, how do you come and knock on someone’s door so late at night! That is disrespectful and even if it was just her mother, what kind of mentality is that?”
My father pressed on. Wow what a question! I had not thought about it but my boss had insinuated that he was here so late because a woman ran this house! He had not even thought twice about knocking on my door because of that! It’s a pity he missed my mother because she would have told him off! She does not take shit from men!
My father said angrily!
Pointing at me,
“Close the door behind you!”
He turned and went back to the lounge. My boss walked back and said,
“We will talk on Monday!”
He held his head as though someone had died! He had come all this way to get answers but that had not happened! Poor guy! I bet you anything this was going to be the longest weekend of his life. Why do you have affairs if you not willing to face the consequences.
“How do you have men come to your mother’s house so late at night?”
He asked me as soon as I walked back. First impressions eish! He will never believe now that I was the good girl in the house and worse when you already have a baby you look the promiscuous part to someone who does not know you!
“No its not like that. He is actually my boss and I got the job through a friend of mine who is…dating him!”
I almost swallowed my words.
“Dating him? Are you mad! How old is she? You must stay away from him you hear me! Quit your job!”
My father said angrily. Listen to this man! His insanity really had levels.
“No, I am not quitting my job because getting the next one will be next to impossible!”
I said calmly but I was right. Nowadays when you have a job it’s like having life. There are so few jobs and any girl can tell you that even if you have a male boss who makes your life uncomfortable by his advances towards you, the job is more important than your pride. I know the government likes to tell us women that we must report such men but reality is, after I report him then what? Usually if it’s a private company I am out of the job and no one wants to touch you because you appear to be a trouble maker! This is why when you have another mouth to feed like I do, that child comes first!
“How do you not see that this man is creepy and probably will one day try and get with you?”
My father asked. Because he was new to me I did not know his tones. I know many girls will have issues having such a discussion with their father but I did not know him so he was as good as a nobody.
“Will you give me a job if he fires me?”
I asked him defiantly.
“I need the money to raise my child. Men are sleazy everyday so at the very least let me choose the sleazy man who pays me! If I was unemployed I would still be hit on by men who will not offer me anything and you know it’s true. He is not my boyfriend though and doubt he will ever be but I will not quit my job!”
I told my father. I think he saw he was not going to win this fight so he changed topics.
“May I please hold your daughter?”
He asked me but I corrected him and said Amo was a boy. He apologized. I went to take him from the couch as I had laid him down when I went to open the door. When my father held him he immediately cried. I guess he could feel that he was in the arms of a stranger.
“You have to take him to see a Sangoma so that they can do their thing and ward off evil spirits!”
He said calmly! Say what?
“When a child cries like this it means that he can sense evil so he must be cleansed!”
I come from the generation that believes that most things traditional are bullshit probably with the exception of lobola. Lobola is important because it makes a man look serious and is the one tradition we must keep but sangomas and ancestors can just chill! Get the fuck outta here with that shit!
“I don’t believe in such things. He is just unfamiliar with you!”
I told him. See I was polite about this.
“You also used to cry a lot. Your mother and I took you to hospitals and clinics thinking that you were sick. They said it was colic but with you it was severe. Eventually we took you to a Sangoma which was actually recommended by a medical doctor. Within a week of going there you totally stopped crying!”
He said looking up to me. I did not believe him My mother is a medical officer she would never believe in such things but the way he said his little story I could tell he was convinced by this.
“I will think about it. So where do you stay?”
I asked him changing the topic and acting interested in getting to know him better.
“I live in Zacharia Park close to Southgate! I am remarried and have two kids. I never meant for this to happen. I am not that kind of man who abandons his children but life is what it is.”
I had not asked him all that but he had chosen to tell me all these things. I heard the car pull into the driveway and knew my mom was back. Thank God too because I was running out of things to say. When my mother walked in she was glowing. She was so happy and I think it is because he was here. They had bought a lot of food so I called my sister. She refused to come out of her room.
I got an sms.
“Why are you having lunch with Lunga and now his dad just said he was at your house?”
That was from Aurelia!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading this and all you are doing to help people.
I am in my first year university and my life has taken the Thandeka route. I am in love with this very rich Nigerian man from Johannesburg. He spoils me with money and shopping sprees. He however seems to love through his money as we never have proper conversations and he is very evasive. I don’t know what job he does but he has introduced me as his girlfriend to most of his friends and even sister. He wants us to go to Nigeria but he says I must ask my parents first as he does not want a scandal. My mother would never say yes to this but I dont want to disappoint my man. Should I lie about this so I get to go? How do I get him to open more about himself? He is 29 by the way. He has no kids or wife from what I have gathered. I am always at his house so I think I know lol.