You know kissing is often underrated. It’s the one thing sexual that is often abused and a free for all. How many people have you kissed at parties? We can all remember how many people we have slept with but I bet you that you don’t remember how many you have kissed. We really don’t care how many people we have kissed because we all say it, “it’s just kissing!” A lot of people, probably myself included say that kissing is not cheating. I know hey, how cheap but when you kiss someone you love, and you lips press against theirs, there is this electricity. I don’t know how to put it exactly because words fail me, it feels just right. Those lips should never ever touch another woman again as far I am concerned. it just feels right. I wanted to stay in that embrace forever. I had earned, no sorry, he had earned it. Scaring me like that had just made realize that I loved him. He had been there for me for so long and I had been to scared to let it show. Now there was nothing stopping me. There was a point where I had thought that this was happening because he was the only man that had given me attention because I had this notion that no man wants a baby mama. It’s weird really. In South Africa most women between 20 and 30 are baby mothers. I pressed my lips against his and I could taste a bit of the saltiness from the sweat since he said he had been jogging the whole way. He was right though, he was wet, he really must have run a long way to me. I don’t think he kissed me back though because I was expecting him to pull me closer to him, you know, the way a man does when he wants more but he didn’t.
“What are you doing?”
He said pushing me away. Uhm ok! I wasn’t expecting that. He had just pushed me away. Was this not what he wanted?
“What do you mean?”
I asked him.
“You can’t kiss me like that. You know I love you but you first need to sort yourself out with Mudenda and all the drama that’s going on in your life!”
He said very calmly! Was he kidding me right now? Had he just rejected me though. This was awkward.
“Can I please just phone my mother because I was supposed to have called her by now she must be worrying?”
He said. Who remembers a word like ‘Kin’ at a time like this. It’s like going on a first date and guy uses big words on you. I was so stunned. I gave him my phone but I was not sure what had just happened. I went to help my sister up and when she woke up she said,
“How can he be here if he is dead? I head Nigerians can do things to youu which make you Zombies. Do you think he is a Zombie?”
I wanted to laugh. Have you ever noticed that in South Africa we blame everything on Nigerians. It’s like they are the only foreign people in this country honestly.
“It’s him. There was a misunderstanding. Don’t be scared!”
I told her as she got up gingerly. When you have a sister like mine you truly have to expect the unexpected. I was too embarrassed to look Tidimalo in the eye. Us females do not take rejection well. We take pleasure in rejecting men and some of us are even experts at it but when that same medicine is dished to us it’s a bitter pill to swallow! It’s humbling and leaves you hurt.
“No mum it’s me I am not dead, who told you that?”
I heard him say on the phone. I couldn’t help but imagine how his mother felt when she heard his voice. Maybe my sister was not being too dramatic after all.
“No mum it’s not a joke it really is me. My car was hijacked and this is the first time I am hearing that it was in an accident. I didn’t even know. They took my phone, wallet everything so I had to walk all the way to North Riding to Faith’s place to call you. Not one car stopped to try help on the freeway when I tried to get help!”
He explained to his mother. Oh I forgot to tell him that we thought he was dead. The fact that he didn’t know made the kiss even more embarrassing. Ground please open up now and swallow me! I didn’t even realize that he had hung up and was standing next to me.
“Thanks for the phone. My mother is coming to pick me up. She is so terrified. She had already called half my village eish! I feel bad!”
He said when he got back to me. He did not mention the kiss.
“Why didn’t you tell me she called you and thought I was dead?”
He asked me. I was not going to tell him that it was because I was too busy kissing him at the moment he entered to have mentioned that tiny little detail. It was not important in any case so why should we dwell on it.
“There was no time to do so! What with my sister fainting I guess I was in too much shock. Are you ok though?”
I asked swallowing whatever little pride I had in me still.
“I have never been so terrified in my life! For sure I thought I was going to die. They put a gun on my head and I swear I thought that was it! I almost peed on myself and that’s no joke!”
Why is it us women find a man who expresses his fear and his vulnerability so scary. I don’t know, him telling me that just made me feel like he trusted me wholeheartedly to be that open with me. Very flattering indeed.
He sat down and I think he was thinking things through be he seemed very far away,
I asked him. It was so weird the way he just blazed out.
“This is going to sound odd but the people that followed me I swear I have seen them before. I am not sure hey, I think at the hospital or the police station!”
He said putting he head into his face as he stood up as though he was walking out then sat down as though to catch his breath.
“I need a smoke!”
He said. I didn’t smoke but my sister did and I knew where she hid her stash from mom. I went and stole one for him. He said he will walk to the corner alone so that he doesn’t offend my mother who I had forgotten was in the house! She must have been tired to have slept through all this.
“I swear to you though, I have seen those people before!”
He said as he walked out of the door. I watched him walk away but he was mumbling something. He really was in shock.
What was he saying though? Did he really know his attackers?
My phone rang at that time as I stood up and walked away,
“Do you know who this is?”
The voice said on the other side.
“I have no idea!”
“Call your mouthy friend and say hello!”
“I am sure he has a story to tell. Stay away from you know who!”
And he hung up.
I am going to laugh when I say this because I was so scared. I knew that voice but it was the last person I expected.
It was Mudenda’s father!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike please post the following letter in your blog. I’d really like some input from your readers. Thanks.
Hey readers. Please help with the following.
Im a 26 year old lady dating a 36year old guy. We met 3 years ago and the relationship has been going on for over 2 years now. We will be celebrating 3 years in October. We have no kids together and none out of the relationship. When we met he had just broken up with his fiancé. In the beginning the relationship had its challenges with regards to the ex being on his case but we were in love nonetheless and that eventually blew over. We also had to do long distance for a while but we survived. We would talk for hours on the phone and go on trips together, were so in love. I really think in this crazy world we live in we are a good match. We just understand each other and have the similar principles and morals. We have discussed marriage and we know that is ultimately what we both want. I love this guy so much and have good reason to believe he feels the same about me. The issue is this… as much as we are good friends, love each other and get along really well there is no romance in the relationship. I feel like he loves me but isn’t in love. I have spoken to him and he says he shows me love in his own way. He is a very caring and practical man so for him showing me love is ensuring i have everything i need. For example he would rather buy me something i need than fuss about flowers or other romantic gestures. On my birthday last year he bought me a laptop, gave it to me 2 days before my birthday and didn’t even wrap it. He didn’t even make an effort to surprise me or make it sweet in any way. And his reasoning was he bought me something i need as i was about to start with my postgrad studies instead of planning romantic stuff. As much as i appreciate him caring and his practicality I would love to be shown love in a romantic manner as well. I would love to have the feeling of someone being excited by my existence and showing it! That feeling i had when we met, him wanting to constantly talk to me, be around me and not want to take his hands off me. Okay maybe not that honeymoon phase vibe (cause i know it doesn’t last forever) but I don’t want the relationship to be like a marriage that has gone on for years and years and now has no excitement. I would just like some spontaneity and romantic gestures. The times that i have spoken to him about this he insists that its not that he doesn’t love me or doesn’t feel attracted to me and he also feels bad because he feels he is failing me. I try to do romantic things but its sucks trying alone trust me. Even the intimacy has diminished. We hardly even kiss. When i bring this issue up he tells me about all the stressful things and mounting responsibilities in his life that are a negative factor for him which to a certain extent i can understand but still i think he should still go the extra mile to make me feel like his princess. He also loves his job a lot and is very busy so i think that may also be a factor.
I love this guy dearly and would like to marry him one day but im just stuck on this lack of romance and fun within the relationship. I will be honest i have had those lonely moments where i have thought of cheating for some love and attention but i guess that dishonesty is just not within me.
Please advise whether this is something that has the potential to get better and how would we work on it or whether this is just who he is and i should just accept that he’ll forever be like this.
Sorry for the very long letter. Just needed to give an accurate picture. Please help a sister.
Hey guys thank you so much for those who have bought the books. Your support has been so much appreciated. The first batch of books sold out on Thursday and am glad to say the second arrive today (sunday). I am really grateful for your support with the book. The second batch we only ordered 200 books so please get yours whilst we still have….