Rumblings – Chapter Eighty

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

You know kissing is often underrated. It’s the one thing sexual that is often abused and a free for all. How many people have you kissed at parties? We can all remember how many people we have slept with but I bet you that you don’t remember how many you have kissed. We really don’t care how many people we have kissed because we all say it, “it’s just kissing!” A lot of people, probably myself included say that kissing is not cheating. I know hey, how cheap but when you kiss someone you love, and you lips press against theirs, there is this electricity. I don’t know how to put it exactly because words fail me, it feels just right. Those lips should never ever touch another woman again as far I am concerned. it just feels right. I wanted to stay in that embrace forever. I had earned, no sorry, he had earned it. Scaring me like that had just made realize that I loved him. He had been there for me for so long and I had been to scared to let it show. Now there was nothing stopping me. There was a point where I had thought that this was happening because he was the only man that had given me attention because I had this notion that no man wants a baby mama. It’s weird really. In South Africa most women between 20 and 30 are baby mothers. I pressed my lips against his and I could taste a bit of the saltiness from the sweat since he said he had been jogging the whole way. He was right though, he was wet, he really must have run a long way to me. I don’t think he kissed me back though because I was expecting him to pull me closer to him, you know, the way a man does when he wants more but he didn’t.

“What are you doing?”

He said pushing me away. Uhm ok! I wasn’t expecting that. He had just pushed me away. Was this not what he wanted?

“What do you mean?”

I asked him.

“You can’t kiss me like that. You know I love you but you first need to sort yourself out with Mudenda and all the drama that’s going on in your life!”

He said very calmly! Was he kidding me right now? Had he just rejected me though. This was awkward.

“Can I please just phone my mother because I was supposed to have called her by now she must be worrying?”

He said. Who remembers a word like ‘Kin’ at a time like this. It’s like going on a first date and guy uses big words on you. I was so stunned. I gave him my phone but I was not sure what had just happened. I went to help my sister up and when she woke up she said,

“How can he be here if he is dead? I head Nigerians can do things to youu which make you Zombies. Do you think he is a Zombie?”

I wanted to laugh. Have you ever noticed that in South Africa we blame everything on Nigerians. It’s like they are the only foreign people in this country honestly.

“It’s him. There was a misunderstanding. Don’t be scared!”

I told her as she got up gingerly. When you have a sister like mine you truly have to expect the unexpected. I was too embarrassed to look Tidimalo in the eye. Us females do not take rejection well. We take pleasure in rejecting men and some of us are even experts at it but when that same medicine is dished to us it’s a bitter pill to swallow! It’s humbling and leaves you hurt.

“No mum it’s me I am not dead, who told you that?”

I heard him say on the phone. I couldn’t help but imagine how his mother felt when she heard his voice. Maybe my sister was not being too dramatic after all.

“No mum it’s not a joke it really is me. My car was hijacked and this is the first time I am hearing that it was in an accident. I didn’t even know. They took my phone, wallet everything so I had to walk all the way to North Riding to Faith’s place to call you. Not one car stopped to try help on the freeway when I tried to get help!”

He explained to his mother. Oh I forgot to tell him that we thought he was dead. The fact that he didn’t know made the kiss even more embarrassing. Ground please open up now and swallow me! I didn’t even realize that he had hung up and was standing next to me.

“Thanks for the phone. My mother is coming to pick me up. She is so terrified. She had already called half my village eish! I feel bad!”

He said when he got back to me. He did not mention the kiss.

“Why didn’t you tell me she called you and thought I was dead?”

He asked me. I was not going to tell him that it was because I was too busy kissing him at the moment he entered to have mentioned that tiny little detail. It was not important in any case so why should we dwell on it.

“There was no time to do so! What with my sister fainting I guess I was in too much shock. Are you ok though?”

I asked swallowing whatever little pride I had in me still.

“I have never been so terrified in my life! For sure I thought I was going to die. They put a gun on my head and I swear I thought that was it! I almost peed on myself and that’s no joke!”

Why is it us women find a man who expresses his fear and his vulnerability so scary. I don’t know, him telling me that just made me feel like he trusted me wholeheartedly to be that open with me. Very flattering indeed.

He sat down and I think he was thinking things through be he seemed very far away,

“What’s wrong?”

I asked him. It was so weird the way he just blazed out.

“This is going to sound odd but the people that followed me I swear I have seen them before. I am not sure hey, I think at the hospital or the police station!”

He said putting he head into his face as he stood up as though he was walking out then sat down as though to catch his breath.

“I need a smoke!”

He said. I didn’t smoke but my sister did and I knew where she hid her stash from mom. I went and stole one for him. He said he will walk to the corner alone so that he doesn’t offend my mother who I had forgotten was in the house! She must have been tired to have slept through all this.

“I swear to you though, I have seen those people before!”

He said as he walked out of the door. I watched him walk away but he was mumbling something. He really was in shock.

What was he saying though? Did he really know his attackers?

My phone rang at that time as I stood up and walked away,

“Do you know who this is?”

The voice said on the other side.

“I have no idea!”

I responded.

“Call your mouthy friend and say hello!”

He said.

“I am sure he has a story to tell. Stay away from you know who!”

And he hung up.

I am going to laugh when I say this because I was so scared. I knew that voice but it was the last person I expected.

It was Mudenda’s father!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike please post the following letter in your blog. I’d really like some input from your readers. Thanks.

Hey readers. Please help with the following.
Im a 26 year old lady dating a 36year old guy. We met 3 years ago and the relationship has been going on for over 2 years now. We will be celebrating 3 years in October. We have no kids together and none out of the relationship. When we met he had just broken up with his fiancĂŠ. In the beginning the relationship had its challenges with regards to the ex being on his case but we were in love nonetheless and that eventually blew over. We also had to do long distance for a while but we survived. We would talk for hours on the phone and go on trips together, were so in love. I really think in this crazy world we live in we are a good match. We just understand each other and have the similar principles and morals. We have discussed marriage and we know that is ultimately what we both want. I love this guy so much and have good reason to believe he feels the same about me. The issue is this… as much as we are good friends, love each other and get along really well there is no romance in the relationship. I feel like he loves me but isn’t in love. I have spoken to him and he says he shows me love in his own way. He is a very caring and practical man so for him showing me love is ensuring i have everything i need. For example he would rather buy me something i need than fuss about flowers or other romantic gestures. On my birthday last year he bought me a laptop, gave it to me 2 days before my birthday and didn’t even wrap it. He didn’t even make an effort to surprise me or make it sweet in any way. And his reasoning was he bought me something i need as i was about to start with my postgrad studies instead of planning romantic stuff. As much as i appreciate him caring and his practicality I would love to be shown love in a romantic manner as well. I would love to have the feeling of someone being excited by my existence and showing it! That feeling i had when we met, him wanting to constantly talk to me, be around me and not want to take his hands off me. Okay maybe not that honeymoon phase vibe (cause i know it doesn’t last forever) but I don’t want the relationship to be like a marriage that has gone on for years and years and now has no excitement. I would just like some spontaneity and romantic gestures. The times that i have spoken to him about this he insists that its not that he doesn’t love me or doesn’t feel attracted to me and he also feels bad because he feels he is failing me. I try to do romantic things but its sucks trying alone trust me. Even the intimacy has diminished. We hardly even kiss. When i bring this issue up he tells me about all the stressful things and mounting responsibilities in his life that are a negative factor for him which to a certain extent i can understand but still i think he should still go the extra mile to make me feel like his princess. He also loves his job a lot and is very busy so i think that may also be a factor.
I love this guy dearly and would like to marry him one day but im just stuck on this lack of romance and fun within the relationship. I will be honest i have had those lonely moments where i have thought of cheating for some love and attention but i guess that dishonesty is just not within me.
Please advise whether this is something that has the potential to get better and how would we work on it or whether this is just who he is and i should just accept that he’ll forever be like this.

Sorry for the very long letter. Just needed to give an accurate picture. Please help a sister.

Thank You



Hey guys thank you so much for those who have bought the books. Your support has been so much appreciated. The first batch of books sold out on Thursday and am glad to say the second arrive today (sunday). I am really grateful for your support with the book. The second batch we only ordered 200 books so please get yours whilst we still have….

Thank You


24 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Eighty

  1. @ Lovedelia i just want to say that i understand exactly what you’re talking about my man is exactly like that, he’s not the kind of man to show affection, hold you from the back, help you with cooking or doing dishes, naah he’s not like that, mostly we kiss when we gonna have sex or if i initiate this, i’ve learned to live with it though coz i know he’s a good man, it’s probably has to do with the way he grew up n where he grew up… so my point is some man just don’t see it necessary to be all romantic and staff but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less.

  2. Q&A: I know this is probably a random reference but like Steve Harvey said men do not show love the same way as women do. They profess,provide and protect and seems like he is doing all 3, a man that gives you what you need is a man that loves you. He is not wired to love like a woman. If you want those romantic dates and what not you have to tell him that that’s what you would like, he can’t read minds hun so just be open about your needs 🙂

  3. i wonder who died then

    Lovedelia… i understand you shame, i broke up with a guy because he wouldn’t hold my hand and my own mother said i was mad. That being said, i think the issue here is that he is loving you in a way that is comfortable for him, I don’t know if you have read 5 languages of love, but i think it could be helpful to your case. It doesn’t matter how much someone professes to love you if they are not showing you in a way that you perceive to mean love… so i suggest you read the book and also get him a copy because i also believe he does love you…

  4. Thanks Mike and Team….I was wondering if there’ll be more books out as I want to get it for my sister on her birthday next month. I was plainning on buying the book end of July. Will I still get it??

    Lovedelia : My angel, I know how you feel , my boyfriend is EXACTLY like that hey , and we have been dating for two years now. He even told me himself that he is not romantic. He buys me though things that I like …E.G when he goes out to the shops he will bring me back Oreos or a KitKat. But not flowers and gifts and surprises, no.

    I think though because my mother’s love language , was to spoil someone, make an effort on their birthdays, heed the things a person likes and just randomly buy them…thats how I grew to know love as… He on the other hand , did not experience that. So he’s way of showing me love is by spending time with me and talking and all the other important stuff.

    I did think of cheating at once as well…but thought against the idea as I did not want to lose my boyfriend who loves me – in his own way – because I simply wanted romance.

    The question boils down to …do you want romance or loyalty? Try and understand his love-language because, much as he wont be all romantic and stuff he loves you. But in the same breathe you cant dismiss yours…do what you would want him do to you and hopefully he will learn to practise your love-language as well and he will make an effort.

    Spoil yourself and buy yourself gigts even if you pretend its from a friend, he will see the things that make you happy and he will make an effort because he too wants to make you happy.

    All the best nana….but dont stop talking to him nhe and remind him of what you would like him to do for you…

    PS: Please dont cheat, you dont want to lose your boyfriend and end up with a romantic douche bag…lol

  5. Thnx Da Mike. What a bomb!
    Q&A: Lovedelia, I think the age gape has lots to do with yo problem. UC when yo grow older, yo preferences change & they change differently per individual. Some ppl @36 R still romantic while some even reach a ripe age of 80 still romantic.
    It cud also have 2do wth his breakup. Do some research on his past relationship(s) & C if he has been lyk this. Some ppl take 4ever 2heal from their past. Myb it’s even his up bringing where there wasn’t much love/affection expression.
    However, U have yo work cut out 4U here. I mean U will have to teach him all the “nice surprises” & romantic stuff U long4. Since U almost have his cheque book in yo hands, do all the romantic planning in yo relationship.
    All things considered, the man is a great catch & U will be a fool to let him go bcz of that alone.
    Make friends wth his office staff/secretary so U can book romantic wknds away/dinner/movies etc. He might learn, he might not but KEEP yo great man. U have a “nice” problem if U know what I mean. – PapaG

  6. Q&A, i acknowledge that women have their own sense of affection regarding love. but we are not in a romantic movie, if he even has an idea to buy you something for your birthday then he is better off. in his own world he is romantic, the long calls, going on trips, just be grateful he is doing something and mostly has your needs met.

  7. Lovedelia…. You have nice life problems I tell you. I wont even dwell on much cause the previous comments have spoken volumes. Get your self the book ‘Five languages of love’… Just because your man is not talking your love language does not mean he loves you any less, instead teach him your love language which is romance. He does not get tired of giving you your needs so why should you be tired of showing him your want?

    As for cheating, don not even think about it!!!

  8. Thank you Mike!!!

    Its My Birthday Today!!!!!

    Lovedelia don’t end things with this man, he’s a good one and its never too late to teach an old dog new tricks.

  9. Judith is above hilarious m telling u and trust Mudenda and his family for being cowards

    Q n A
    Lovedelia my dear I’d be very happy to find myself a man like yours really . The 6 hints u count he does are better than what I experience but because I love my man I am with him and I. loyal . I mean he buys u stuff u need and he calls you . yhooo I’d kill for my man to buy me a laptop or remember my birthday .

    anyway sisi I’m begging to stay true and faithful to this guy He really cares neh abt the romance part maybe he is not that kind of a person and u can change him at this age

  10. Lovedenda u have a woderful boyfriend trust me me n my boyfriend we lv each other vrry much n he does everything for me but we r not dt entirely intimate we dnt kiss often we kiss when abt to have sex or wat wat bt he sometimes even forget to say happy birthday n i tell him happy birthday to u when its my birthday n then he wl get me something bt i knw he loves me he is jus not that romantic and after 8 yrs he makes me confident dt im his number one so hey love try to understand n love what u have because trust me some men r worse than dt

  11. Lovedelia!!! U really have nice life problems. The guy remembers ur birthday. He buys u stuff. I wish I cud get an orio. I can’t even get him to tell me he loves me. The one time he tried to reply to my “I love u” sms, he spelled it incorrectly. Been with him for 2 years now and in the 2 years I never got a thing from him. Am a very passionate person, I buy gifts. I luv the guy nonetheless. I wud never even think of cheating. What am saying is, don’t cheat on him. He might not come around. But he loves u

  12. Sis, keep ur man,I have a man who is not romantic but excellent hubby and dad. He gives me money on my birthday to buy myself a gift can u believe it. Each year I ask him to go to shops like truworths/edgars and ask for gift ideas only last year he got it right after 16yrs of marriage he is 41 I’m 39. He told he hurts kissing which I love but I have accepted it as he is good in other things. Its difficult in the beginning but u have to check if u want a good man or a player.u can’t have it all.

  13. hi Mike… concerning the books how do I order/buy and how much does each book cost?
    I’m based in Jhb so I’d also like to know if they can be delivered / posted?

  14. QnA – i think holiwood is taking over, u watch romantic movies alot, and now u want them to be applied into your life. Honey he will never change, my husby is also like that.

  15. Dear Lovedelia,

    I agree with the sentiments of majority who are saying that you do have nice life problems. You are a very lucky woman in a relationship that has no drama and the like and you should be very grateful for that. Remember how his ex was still stuck up on him wanting him back and the like? what do you think she missed? she might have left him for what you are crying about now only to realise later that she lost a good man over an issue that she should have probably learnt to live with. Remember no one person can have it all *fact*, you have your flaws too, so does he so learn to live with his as he does yours.With regards to cheating please do not do it at all, appreciate what you have and treasure it as much as he treasures you.

    Do you know the saying that “no woman is ever satisfied/you cant fully satisfy a woman”?. You sound like that woman who has what other women want but still want more and the result of that is loss of something you value most. One trait i have observed about “practical”people like your man is that they are very decisive, stubborn (not easy to change their point of view) and usually resistant to change (which means you might have to learnt to live with it), gets irritated when you want to interrupt their way of doing things etc. So initiate that change yourself ( As you are saying you tried and felt tired because it was like you are on the only one contributing)through another approach like planning “romantic”things and informing him in advance in order to him to accommodate you in his schedule/make funds available etc.

    All the best 🙂

  16. shem Faith akies neh, Tidi is right though, you need to sort out your ish with mudenda. some parents have no chill shem sies

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