Rumblings – Chapter Eighty Five

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

“Tidimalo did not tell me that you would be coming with!”

I said smiling. At least I was not wearing a doek. Usually when I am in the house alone I wear a doek especially when I am doing chores. Amo likes to play with my hair. I have braids so they get in the way of me doing things.

“He did not tell me I was coming here either he just gave me directions but now that I am here and meeting you for the first time I have no doubt that he did the right thing!”

He said smoothly. I was sold yet because my heart belonged to another but I had to indulge him.

“You don’t say!”

I said with a weak smile. Maybe as you grow up even when a guy says the sweetest things it feels as though he is making up lines. Older girls don’t like lines it’s cheesey!

“Oh I do say! Will you come out with us? It’s rather rude for us to sit and chat in front of your mother’s house like this!”

He said. I could hear that much as this was a light hearted conversation he was very firm in his decision making.

“I look an awful mess and you know girls take hours to prepare right?”

I told him trying to dodge him. I did not want to go hey.

“O come on girl stop trying to play hard to get!”

Nozipho said! Fuck! She was talking to me! I could blacksem her right now. She is a girl she should know what this meant but no, she was a liker of things and trying to hang out with me. I did not want her to embarrass me further but fortunately Thulare jumped in.

“Ok let’s see, I know you have bathed, every decent girls baths in the morning…”

He said in more of hope than anything else. Dwee I had bathed of course but I would be the first to admit that this mornings bath had been one of my record breaking ones as I had been in a rush to go make that phone call. Normally I am a typical girl and take almost an hour washing parts most men don’t know exist!

“Yes I have bathed!”

I laughed uncomfortably at that question. It’s not something you ask a girl.

“Awesome then! We going to a tshisanyama so no need to dress turn up!”

He said smiling. He had cornered me very nicely…well played.

“Let me ask my sister because she will have to baby sit for me!”

I said and skipped into the house. I told her what was up.

“You have become the new me. You always up to something but it’s cool. I have so many envelopes to stuff in any case so you will find me on this couch!”

She said walking away as I picked up my bag. I freshened up a little bit more and then I came out. They were already sitting in the car but Thulare jumped out to come open the door for me.

“Thank you!”

I said. I wonder how Nozipho saw that since she had already complained that Tidimallo does not open doors. A lot of girls are hard on black guys for not opening doors but realistically, why can’t you open your own door? It’s not like it’s heavy nor will make him less of a man! It’s those girls that act as though they shit chocolate that are adamant on this. No ladies, let him be him. Why get angry it’s not like he left you behind.

“I was thinking the Centurian one because it gets a good crowd and less shady people!”

Thulare said telling Tidimallo. The latter did not refuse. In the car the guys spoke to each other and I had to speak to Nozipho. As Tidi’s best friend I had to be nice to this girl so I did my best.

“So how long have you been here?”

I asked her. She explained that she had not been here that long but she had gotten a job through her cousin at a time she desperately needed one. Isn’t that story of everyone though. She said her mom was not that supportive of it but she came around and now here she was. Her phone rang and she answered. She spoke to someone and I heard her tell whoever she was on a date and she will call when she is done. The person didn’t sound too happy about it because I think they had had plans before but I pretended not to care. When she hung up she immediately said,

“It was my cousin, she is into sugar daddies and wanted me to come out with her and her sugar! That I can’t do. Imagine! Sies!”

She said telling me. I was not sure what to read into what she had just said but ok, maybe too much over share too soon! Have some chill.

“We are going to order some meat and pap does anyone object?”

Tidi asked. I was not against it nor was she. We decided what meat to have. He asked what we would drinking. I settled for a coke but Nozipho opted for a Savannah Dark… very classy indeed. The boys split. One went to buy drinks the other went to order the food. I was no longer much of a drinker not that I ever worse. A glass of wine maybe, Nederberg Baronne to be exact but who drinks wine ko shisanyama!

“Please tell me a bit more about Tidimalo?”

She asked me as soon as they left. It was not a hard question but I had to seem had to seem thoughtful with the answer.

“That’s a bit hard I have known him for years. What would you like to know?”

Ok won’t like that suddenly felt like I was on an episode of Date My Family eish.

“Any and everything. I hardly know him and if you ask me all I can say about him is that he is seems nice!”

She said. I know girls. She was doubting him. Maybe this was my chance to make it not work for them by making him sound bad but if he found out he would hate me forever so oh well,

“He is nice that much you are right. He is sweet and he is caring. We have always been friends but the way he stepped up when Amo, my son, was born even I did not forsee. He is amazing!”

Goodness I sound like I was blushing as I spoke. Hope she did not see it but I felt it.

“Is that all?”

She asked. This was a tough cookie to please!

“Yes that about it. His mom is cool too meaning that he comes from a good family. He is very respectful and is one of those guys that if he has your back, it’s for life!”

I said to her. It’s how I saw him. He was an amazing guy and he was loving and caring. He was everything I needed in my life and more but now here was this Mafikizolo trying to take all this away from me. I had a lump in my throat! I could choke her if I could hey but I decided against it. I did not not want more blood on my hands.

“How come you and Tidimalo have never dated?”

Wow so that’s what he told her? Now I was not an ex just a friend. Makes sense though because which girl would want you to hang out with your ex. It will look like you not over each other.

“I guess it never came up. We friends and we cool with that.”

I told her.

“Have you ever kissed him?”

She asked me with a stern look on her face! What the hell? This girl was fishing! I was the one that was supposed to be asking her questions and now she was turning things on me!

“No!”

I said sternly even though I was lying. Did she really want to hear I had fucked him too? Did she want to hear how much I wanted him back and how I hated her for being here? Come on! Why do people ask questions with answers they truly do not want to hear? If you want a man, date him and don’t go digging into his past because definitely you will find things you do not want.

“It’s obvious that you like him a lot? We are both girls and we all have tell tale signs. He is mine now though so please back off because I really like him too!”

She said with a fake smile on her face. Bury me now please! Did she just say that, this girl though? I smiled back uncomfortable and said,

“You got it wrong but ummm, ok I guess donno what to say to you!”

And thank heavens at that moment Tidimalo came back.

“How are my two favorite girls getting along?”

He asked cheerfully! Poor choice of words I tell you!

“Oh we just peachy!”

She said smiling at me. Who was this bitch? Thulare then came through. He had placed his order. My phone rang and it was my sister!

“Eh dude your baby daddies father was here to talk to mum! He just left. They spoke for about thirty minutes and it was tense!”

She said! She hung up. She didn’t have airtime.

“Is everything ok?”

Tidimalo asked when he saw the look on my face.

“I am not sure hey that was my sister!”

Ten minutes later I got a call from my mother and as soon as I picked up she said,

“Come home now!”

Shit was real!

******The End******

@diaryofazulugal
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za
Mikeatdiary (instagram)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I am unhappy in my marriage. I have been married for seven years and it’s harder than I thought. I am 31 this year and married my boyfriend when he was 27 and I was 24. We had that love at first sight romance and dated five years before we got married. When we got married things just changed. I got pregnant and gave birth and we started building a home together. He was suspended from work without pay for about 3months and that when the problems started. Money has always made our relationship go. Whenever we had problems we would literally buy each other out. Go on a date or shopping. That three months showed me that he is immature and unreasonable. I won’t lie I played a big part in him becoming this stranger. We tried counselling but he never took it seriously. Now he is drinking and seems angry all the time. Mind you he is back at work and so am I?

Am I being too hasty in asking for a divorce?

Please advise

Thembi

24 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Eighty Five

  1. At question. Remember those words you said in front of the pastor? about “till death do us apart. Most men will fell useless if they cant fully provide for their family. You need to ask yourself why you married him.Talk to him usually people who drink a lot are running away from something.

  2. Thanx Mike and the team u r always on point :-). @ unhappy in marriage : I think u r being hasty i knw it hasnt been easy bt have u exhausted all avenues b4 gettin to divorce? Have u tried hard enough to fight for your marriage? Do you still love him? U need to think about this long and hard. marriage is nt easy so u cnt run at de 1 st side of trouble u need to try harder to fix this then if all fails……..

  3. I think ur guy likes u vry much,,n its hard 4 a man nt being able to provide for his family,maybe thats why he has fallen onto d bottle,,dnt be hard on him,,i think devoce is a bit too hush,,unless u do not have that mountain moving love for him anymore………

  4. tjo Nozipho!!!

    @Faith akakwazi, tell her the full story bout u and tidimalo and yo recent kiss mab tht way she keep her horses

  5. Do not ask for a divorce, soldier on and make it work. Talk to him and find out why he is the way he is right now and also try to remind him of the good times you had and how you would like to have those again. Do not be that kind of a woman who runs at the first sign of trouble. When you said you do, you meant that its for better or for worse right?? Remember your vows my dear.

  6. Thank you mike
    I’m glad u extended the length of the word, I’m happy and grateful :* <3

    A divorce is not always a way out. Married people having problems shouldn't always find 'divorce' as a easy way out. When you married that men you vowed 'for better or worse '. Marriage is never easy and it won't be always be happy.

    Yes your husband is being irresponsible and childish,I'm sure he is just stressed with not working.( it's never easy for a man who used to be working to cope or get used to be jobless) Stick by him as a wife, support him, talk to him and be patient with him, he will come around. Try and do things together, go out, go to church together (speak with the pastor), pray together ( a praying family is a blessed fam) and don't forgt to pray for him and yourself. chill with other married people. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, ask him what he wants, does he want to stay in the marriage. If he wants he must try to make it work (remember your vows) Don't be quick to give up on your marriage

    All the best
    God bless
    *i promise to put in my prayers*

  7. Ay Thembi haw. One minor hiccup ND u want a divorce. Why happened to ur vows? Anyways cc ur hubby is goin thru a phase so stand with him ND b supportive. 3 months is a short time to determine 12 years of a relationship. U made ur mind up too soon. Work on ur marriage. Giv love ND support ND keep getting counselling even by itself. Dnt give up on him toe

  8. I understand where Thembi us coming from. though my situation is a bit different, but Thembi you need prayer warriors to fight the devil that is pushing ur husband to drink. not only for u, but for ur child too. Also ask for help from de Elders and fro de church.
    In my case my husband drinks, a lot. Both our businesses are not doing well but I try hard to make ends meet, while he buys alcohol first before food or pours petrol. He is verbally abusive, even his family members are scared of him and he dsnt want to seek help. Unfortunately he refused to even talk to our priest, so Im stuck as to wheather do I leave or stay and hope that it will get better. its been 8yrs now & he hasnt changed

  9. Hi Thembi. I think u have build ur marriage on the wrong foundation ‘money’. U need to reevaluate the foundation of ur marriage which must have been build on unconditional love; trust; respect & mutual understanding. Sis I I have been married for 5 yes and in 2013 I lost my job after giving birth & for 8 months I couldn’t find a job. My hubby couldn’t afford to maintain me & our son financially & in-laws treated me so bad. I thought of divorce but I couldn’t do it because it a huge step & God hates it. Sisi divorce is very expensive and tidious I’m advising u as a lawyer. You need to be emotional & financially prepared. My advise ask God to guide u. Good luck

  10. Eyi Nozipho angazo phapha la dis is Faiths turf she rules dis house and as for Thembi you ddnt give us much to advise you on like wat makes u say he is immature n irresponsible and how he changed la u jst gave us abt wen u got married n jst highlighted but ddnt give us the real problem but mayb its me only hu feels like that and hope u get the help you need

  11. Sho big Mike
    Okay my assumption is…Tidimalo taking Faith through a test. 1 he went to fetch Faith with his friends 2 he made sure they leave her with Nozipho 3 suddenly she is asking her all these questions in such a short space of time, well I think she passed the test…the only problem will be Mudenda

    QnA Thembi why jump to a divorce where is your for better for worse or you are of those who believe in the fact that after certificate comes a degree. Your man needs you now more than ever. At least he is not cheating. Fight for your man . Good luck

  12. We all know that life is not easy and even marriage is not but know that ur partner has got ur back and will always be there for u even when the boat is sinking gives u that edge to push , fight and wanna make it for u, him/her n ur kids.

    Since well now that u have seen how he reacts when he does not have money, well most men behave somehow especially when they used to having it, it bruises her ego n they seem them self as half men who cannot provide for their families n that does not sit well them n they will turn to look for some solance n most of them is the ?(alcohol) .

    Try taking this matter to the elders plus since well now both of u are working – try to see why u can do to with ur salaries n find a solution to ur problem , he is ur man remember u were once crazy and madly in love with this man n wanted to “spend the rest of ur life with him” try all shall be well. I know men can be hard but try, I have been there n today I am okay n more than happy. All coz I tried until something happened.

    Sorry for the long msg….

  13. We all know that life is not easy and even marriage is not but know that ur partner has got ur back and will always be there for u even when the boat is sinking gives u that edge to push , fight and wanna make it for u, him/her n ur kids.

    Since well now that u have seen how he reacts when he does not have money, well most men behave somehow especially when they used to having it, it bruises her ego n they seem them self as half men who cannot provide for their families n that does not sit well them n they will turn to look for some solance n most of them is the ?(alcohol) .

    Try taking this matter to the elders plus since well now both of u are working – try to see why u can do to with ur salaries n find a solution to ur problem , he is ur man remember u were once crazy and madly in love with this man n wanted to “spend the rest of ur life with him” try all shall be well. I know men can be hard but try, I have been there n today I am okay n more than happy. All coz I tried until something happened. As much as we dnt like admiring it – money also plays a big role in our lives, marriage, relationship. Money can also break up a marriage if not used wise or well.

    Sorry for the long msg….

  14. Ta Adv Cmndr Maphoto. This is a twister: U mixed chicken, salads, cheese, sweet chilli. #Loving it!

    Q&A: Yo choice is sticking it out vs Dvrce! RU thinking ahead of the complications a divorce brings in a family. 4a change STOP being selfish & think abt yo family (Yo hubby & yo kid). Is that the best option? I don’t think so.
    U might b jumping from the pan into the fire! Use yo “indulgence” in money 2yo advantage again 2save yo marriage. Call auntie & drop the kid & go on a road trip or book a wknd out. Find ways 2bring back the spark that brot U 2getha. Don’t giv up 2easily cc so U don’t regret yo “rushed” decision. If all fails take a break from each other then….. myb U can start talking the “D” word. Gudluck – PapaG

  15. I can’t believe how we are in a hurry to divorce these days, whats the point of getting married in the 1st place then, relationships don’t have patience anymore, just because for the 3 months you were putting food on the table,he is now childish? have you ever stopped to communicate with him on how the suspension from work tore him up. Honestly though whatever happened to working on relationships, its clear we good at giving up.

    Chill Faith they don’t know it was you on the phone, just be quiet and play it cool.

    Thanks Team

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