There is something about us girls that makes us so disloyal to one another when we are talking to a guy we like and I don’t know what it is. I know of so many girls, like me who sit in and listen to a guy talk a lot of bad things about our friends. Yes we will throw a few defenses her way but we tend to take his side because we don’t want to spoil the moment. Yes after we go back to her we will rat him out and deliberately skip out the part we played in the conversation. No wonder why men cheat with our friends, it’s so easy to blame him when our friends play a part too. How many girls do you know who lost their childhood best friends over a guy who in all honesty you date for only a year or two before he becomes a dick and cheats on you? Lost is that friendship you had with your friend of over ten years! We don’t think! Men come and go but with us, fuck the friendship! It’s easier to accuse her of jealousy with your excuse being that the guy is into you now. He was not done insulting Aurelia either,
“She is a gold digger and for me that makes her a prostitute, just smarter!”
I was stunned. He was so candid about it. It’s like he had no shame that he was sleeping with the same woman who his father was sleeping with! Wait, why was I thinking about him and not my friend? She was being played by this boy whilst at the same time befriended by the wife of the man she was sleeping with. This was confusing even sober. I had to talk to her but I was not sure what it is I was going to tell her. A girl who has a sugar daddy has the world figured out. There is no amount of advice you can give her that can change her mind. That’s why I had chosen to sit back but this was my friend and I loved her. Why was she doing this? Now she was probably pregnant with either of their baby and you had to ask yourself what she was going to do now and whom she would pin it on. She had enough money to have an abortion without either of them knowing so maybe I should tell her. Bruce Springsten has a song where he says gets out whilst you are young and she needed to hear that now. Like I said though, girls who date sugar daddies don’t listen to anyone, they have it all figured out.
“What would you like to eat? Don’t worry I am buying?”
He said to me. I really wanted to tell him to just fuck off and take me home but I could not. He did things to me. Even his arrogance was a turn on.
“Hey, I asked what you want to eat?”
He said when he had caught me day dreaming. Before I could stop myself the words “Nandos” came out of my mouth! I am sure even he was surprised. Had I really said Nandos. Ok let me explain, all black people eat KFC (no matter how oily or fat it makes you), Chicken Licken (if you drink those wings are heaven) but Nandos, mmmm, that’s for the Clever Black’s as Zuma called them. It’s the cheap option for people with money. It’s the carvella of chicken franchises and skhotane on pay day. Saying it therefore insinuated on most days I could not afford it. He made a joke about me being a girl who knows her meat but it was dripping with sarcasm! Did I really say Nandos? I was even embarrassed to think of it myself.
“You are one weird girl. Aurelia will never ask for that. She wants something with a three course meal!
We found a Nandos, there are so many of them so was not too hard and we ordered. He was actually quite a talker which is something I liked on a date.
“You look like a geek so how did you get pregnant?”
He asked me yet again so casually yet again. To someone else that question would have been so insensitive but somehow he got me to open. I told him all about Mudenda right up to yesterday when I had left him naked outside. He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. He called me scary but hot. I doubt he could handle a baby so I chose not to speak too much about Amo.
“Tell me something about you that you wouldn’t tell a guy on the first date?”
That question too me off guard. What was he implying by it though?
“Uhm, I don’t know! Is this a date?”
I asked him stupidly! This guy was trying to not only bag my friend now me as well. Well that was never going to happen.
“I only sleep with the guy after 15 dates!”
I said as my response. With South African men that’s a turn off! They are used to having girls open their legs by the second date if you can even call it a date. Rich guy he was I am sure for. Him he did not even have to do first date.
“So what more can you tell me about your friend?”
He asked me!
“Oh come on you are here with me, why do we keep talking about her?”
I asked him. I was already feeling bad for talking about her behind her back to be honest. I just wanted him to change the topic to anyone or anything else. He sounded like he was in love with her but was just trying to convince himself that he was not.
“No! I just want to know what else I need to know about her that’s all. That’s why I didn’t mind taking you home!”
I don’t think this guy could hear himself.
“She is so guarded that’s why I have to ask you. I have no idea whether she has siblings or not so you can imagine how little I know off her!”
If these guys could make a baby surely they had to have shared a conversation. But ain’t it always the case. When a guy does not really want you he never actually pays attention when you talk to him. He pretends to listen and that’s why. You always find yourself having to remind him that what ever it is you are telling him, you have told him before. He had no feelings for my friend he was just using her to get back at his father. I felt sad for her. No one wants to be used like that and now that she was in this situation I really have to save her.
“It’s not my place to answer that. Ask her yourself!”
I snapped at him! He really was starting to annoy me. People with no respect for women really get to me.
“Why are you being such a bitch about it? Just tell me!”
That word again. Why did he have to go there? Why do these young boys often throw in that word when referring to us girls? I hate it.
“Well you need to do something because she is pregnant and either your or your precious father are the baby daddy!”
It just came out!
If Aurelia found out this then definitely our friendship would be over!
He stood up confused, put his hands on hands and just walked out!
He left me there and drove off!
I had fucked up royally!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the beautiful blog and I have to say you are blessed bra.
Well I’m a 19 year old girl and still a Virgin. (And yes I’m proud to be a Virgin). The problem is I want to get married as a Virgin and I feel no guy would want that. Like most teenagers, I’ve dated before and sadly the guys broke up with me because I’m a Virgin. So I wanted to know if there’s anyone that got into marriage as a Virgin. If yes, how did you handle the pressures of waiting. And how’s your marriage? I’m scared that even if I get married someday the guy I get married too will compare me to the girls he has been with. And again is there any guy that would really like to get married to a Virgin?
Please don’t judge.
Scared and confused teenager