Rumblings – Chapter Sixty Seven

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

There is something about us girls that makes us so disloyal to one another when we are talking to a guy we like and I don’t know what it is. I know of so many girls, like me who sit in and listen to a guy talk a lot of bad things about our friends. Yes we will throw a few defenses her way but we tend to take his side because we don’t want to spoil the moment. Yes after we go back to her we will rat him out and deliberately skip out the part we played in the conversation. No wonder why men cheat with our friends, it’s so easy to blame him when our friends play a part too. How many girls do you know who lost their childhood best friends over a guy who in all honesty you date for only a year or two before he becomes a dick and cheats on you? Lost is that friendship you had with your friend of over ten years! We don’t think! Men come and go but with us, fuck the friendship! It’s easier to accuse her of jealousy with your excuse being that the guy is into you now. He was not done insulting Aurelia either,

“She is a gold digger and for me that makes her a prostitute, just smarter!”

I was stunned. He was so candid about it. It’s like he had no shame that he was sleeping with the same woman who his father was sleeping with! Wait, why was I thinking about him and not my friend? She was being played by this boy whilst at the same time befriended by the wife of the man she was sleeping with. This was confusing even sober. I had to talk to her but I was not sure what it is I was going to tell her. A girl who has a sugar daddy has the world figured out. There is no amount of advice you can give her that can change her mind. That’s why I had chosen to sit back but this was my friend and I loved her. Why was she doing this? Now she was probably pregnant with either of their baby and you had to ask yourself what she was going to do now and whom she would pin it on. She had enough money to have an abortion without either of them knowing so maybe I should tell her. Bruce Springsten has a song where he says gets out whilst you are young and she needed to hear that now. Like I said though, girls who date sugar daddies don’t listen to anyone, they have it all figured out.

“What would you like to eat? Don’t worry I am buying?”

He said to me. I really wanted to tell him to just fuck off and take me home but I could not. He did things to me. Even his arrogance was a turn on.

“Hey, I asked what you want to eat?”

He said when he had caught me day dreaming. Before I could stop myself the words “Nandos” came out of my mouth! I am sure even he was surprised. Had I really said Nandos. Ok let me explain, all black people eat KFC (no matter how oily or fat it makes you), Chicken Licken (if you drink those wings are heaven) but Nandos, mmmm, that’s for the Clever Black’s as Zuma called them. It’s the cheap option for people with money. It’s the carvella of chicken franchises and skhotane on pay day. Saying it therefore insinuated on most days I could not afford it. He made a joke about me being a girl who knows her meat but it was dripping with sarcasm! Did I really say Nandos? I was even embarrassed to think of it myself.

“You are one weird girl. Aurelia will never ask for that. She wants something with a three course meal!

We found a Nandos, there are so many of them so was not too hard and we ordered. He was actually quite a talker which is something I liked on a date.

“You look like a geek so how did you get pregnant?”

He asked me yet again so casually yet again. To someone else that question would have been so insensitive but somehow he got me to open. I told him all about Mudenda right up to yesterday when I had left him naked outside. He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. He called me scary but hot. I doubt he could handle a baby so I chose not to speak too much about Amo.

“Tell me something about you that you wouldn’t tell a guy on the first date?”

That question too me off guard. What was he implying by it though?

“Uhm, I don’t know! Is this a date?”

I asked him stupidly! This guy was trying to not only bag my friend now me as well. Well that was never going to happen.

“I only sleep with the guy after 15 dates!”

I said as my response. With South African men that’s a turn off! They are used to having girls open their legs by the second date if you can even call it a date. Rich guy he was I am sure for. Him he did not even have to do first date.

“So what more can you tell me about your friend?”

He asked me!

“Oh come on you are here with me, why do we keep talking about her?”

I asked him. I was already feeling bad for talking about her behind her back to be honest. I just wanted him to change the topic to anyone or anything else. He sounded like he was in love with her but was just trying to convince himself that he was not.

“No! I just want to know what else I need to know about her that’s all. That’s why I didn’t mind taking you home!”

I don’t think this guy could hear himself.

“She is so guarded that’s why I have to ask you. I have no idea whether she has siblings or not so you can imagine how little I know off her!”

If these guys could make a baby surely they had to have shared a conversation. But ain’t it always the case. When a guy does not really want you he never actually pays attention when you talk to him. He pretends to listen and that’s why. You always find yourself having to remind him that what ever it is you are telling him, you have told him before. He had no feelings for my friend he was just using her to get back at his father. I felt sad for her. No one wants to be used like that and now that she was in this situation I really have to save her.

“It’s not my place to answer that. Ask her yourself!”

I snapped at him! He really was starting to annoy me. People with no respect for women really get to me.

“Why are you being such a bitch about it? Just tell me!”

That word again. Why did he have to go there? Why do these young boys often throw in that word when referring to us girls? I hate it.

“Well you need to do something because she is pregnant and either your or your precious father are the baby daddy!”

It just came out!

If Aurelia found out this then definitely our friendship would be over!

He stood up confused, put his hands on hands and just walked out!

He left me there and drove off!

I had fucked up royally!

******The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike.
Thank you for the beautiful blog and I have to say you are blessed bra.
Well I’m a 19 year old girl and still a Virgin. (And yes I’m proud to be a Virgin). The problem is I want to get married as a Virgin and I feel no guy would want that. Like most teenagers, I’ve dated before and sadly the guys broke up with me because I’m a Virgin. So I wanted to know if there’s anyone that got into marriage as a Virgin. If yes, how did you handle the pressures of waiting. And how’s your marriage? I’m scared that even if I get married someday the guy I get married too will compare me to the girls he has been with. And again is there any guy that would really like to get married to a Virgin?
Please don’t judge.
Thank you
Scared and confused teenager

34 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Sixty Seven

  1. Nice one Mike.

    Q&A Gal i must say that i am proud as a woman to hear that in this day and age we still have young gals like you that are still virgins, hands up to u keep it up. Don’t be in a rush or feel preasured into sex, You will find the right guys for yourself that will respect you for being a virgin and marry you.

    If i could turn back the clock i would turn it to being a virging again, this world we live in is ugly. We dont respect sex no more we take it as a game.

    Keep it up. Well i lost mine at 21.

  2. Confused teenager. you cant be serious. are you in school? getting an education? working? building a career? you are worried about marriage and sex. sounds like you haven’t found the right one. don’t stress and rush into something you will regret. those guys who left you for being a virgin were going to leave you virgin or not. don’t waste you time on them. focus on school or work and the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet. and you will live happily ever after. just be patient.

  3. QnA Like Seriously?! Ok I’m not judging however your sceptics make me wonder if you are really proud of being a virgin as virginity is your sacredness…by the way I married as a PROUD VIRGIN @ age 23,my husband respects,adores me well he practically worships the ground I walk on.My family was super proud of me & my marriage is somewhat close to perfect.Hubby & I have been recently blessed with a gorgeous baby girl.If that MAN appreciates & love you he will be proud of you & appreciate your purity instead of comparing you to people in his past…by the way hubby & I only have a four difference in age so its not one of the “old hags”(no offense intended).

  4. Nice read mike

    QnA @confused teenager i am proud of you gal , do not rush into things if you feel you are not ready am 26 and still a v girl .

  5. QnA i reali dnt knw wat u scared n confused abt like seriously yhoo having ur virginity is the most precious thing n they ryt u shud b focussing on ur education n career n not sex n wat ur future husband will think… u havent even found him yet so get those sex tots out of ut head

  6. Mara faith! Ur friend told u in confidence en trusted u with the information, now u go spit it out. Yho! No matter how angry or annoyed u are, u just neva tell on ur friends cc

  7. Johhh faith and your big mouth, how could you do that to your friend mara?

    QnA: My dear, first of all congrats on keeping your legs closed. It is not an easy task, that much I can tell you. Well I got married a virgin, My husband is the only Man I have ever been with.

    I would like to know, are you abstaining for religious reasons or something else?
    With my situation, My sister was kinda all over the world been with this guy and that guy so I decided when I was young that I would learn from her mistakes, she slept with those guys and at the end what did she get? a baby and a lot of debt. I decided that the only man I would ever sleep with would be my husband.

    My husband didn’t mind waiting for me though it was hard for him since he was used to having sex but he waited and we got married and now He ENJOYS teaching me all the moves and our sex life is great, he doesn’t compare me to all the girls he had been with because to be honest, I am not like that and He is not looking for that hence he would have married them.

    Try not to think of how you would measure up top those your future hubby has been with and try to keep friends who have similar goals as you because peer pressure can be horrific. If you are abstaining for religious purposes, please research more on Christian Dating, it will advice you on how to keep your relationship holy and avoid the sin of fornication.

    God Bless!!!!

  8. Thank you Mike, you know you mos the best 🙂

    A2Q oh my word girl friend I was so you last year! 19 and still a virgin saving herself for marriage well now its different some asshole stole my virginity.. Worst night ever, I’ll never forgive him but nevertheless
    Not being a virgin isn’t that bad darl except you end up craving it (sex) and keeping yourself from doing it again is the difficult part. I know how you feel about having the right values and morals I did too but perhaps the whole not being a virgin thing isn’t that bad after all..

    Its obviously sweet and special for your future hubby but then you find guys who say they won’t buy a car without test driving it.. Utter BS I know but think about it

    1. hahahaha Chantelle if only there was a ‘like’ button. Your comment is soooo 100% am 22 and lost mine at 19. Being a none-virgin is not bad at all but the cravings uhmm however i used to crave even when i was still a virgin.

  9. Thanx, Mikey, Nice read as usual.

    I married a virgin, I was 25, my marriage is still great. my hubby never compares me to anyone of his past, he loved and enjoyed teaching me everything I needed to know about sex, as in now I know my story in bed, all credit goes to one man, my husband, so they is nothing to be ashamed and worried about.

  10. My dear darling….

    I am super proud of you, I lost my virginity at your age, doing second year of varsity and I don’t regret any moment of it, because it was what I wanted. Do not be scared nor worried about what your future husband will think, for now enjoy being young with and living your life with no complications, yes I say no complications because SEX can cause a lot of complications in your life for you end up being emotionally attached to different souls.

    Sex is a very sacred thing, keep it that way and continue to save yourself for the one that will appreciate you and not only want to bang you and you become a statistics on who he has slept with!

  11. @ Q&A: I was proudly a virgin till 25 when I got married. I found a virgin who was willing to wait with me. We have a beautiful marriage and a 5 month old baby boy. And we have a fun sex life and try out new things together. So stay a virgin, because a man willing to wait is a man worthy of your hand in marriage. Do not give in to peer pressure, be true to yourself. In these times where men have more baby mamas then Zuma himself it’s safer to stay a virgin!

  12. Thanks Mikeesto, daily dose.

    A2Q I just have to be negative nje, at 19 you thinkin of marriage in this nasty world of divorce with your vdot?? Mxm! A man will still leave you even if you wake up virgin every morning. Besides, one mrengerenge and that virginity will cease to exist. But congrats on starving yourself.

    I don’t get it, they say a man and woman are equals, yet some lucky son of a something is screwing everyday and he will then be rewarded with your purity on your wedding day, man remain superior to women, no matter how you look at it. Stop stressing about your first shag girly, its gonna suck and sex is just sex.


  13. Ya. What did brown Christopher say about “Loyal” while thinking of that Robyn girl?

    On your first question. I’ve know few who claim to have been virgins (both men and women) when getting married (I was not there) and most of them appear to be happily married. I can also tell you that there is a group of guys who wants to marry a virgin, while most of them are not; these are the types you should avoid. Those that are desperately looking for one tends to have some “unfinished issues” if they are older (lets say 30s); but your age group are normally hoping for to marry one as there is still a small pool.

    I think your dating opportunities will decrease as you grow older as most men (maybe myself as well) consider it a glorified friend zone to date someone without sex and it is not correct to stand that. Of course this is not applicable if that guy has decided before dating you seriously that he wants to marry you.

    About your other question. Your husband will appreciate your lack of experience on condition that you are not steif (stubbon) but flexible. Men like teaching and are generally not comparing. Women don’t like teaching then end up enduring boring sessions.

    Now talking as a man.
    Most girls who hang their virginity for “you” tends to be rubbish. Their rubbish would start from character where they have nothing to offer in the relationship other than to claiming that they were innocent before meeting you. Even on sex, they tend to be boring as hell because they will consider the other things to evil or lowering for their character. They essentially believe that the first night was all that they needed to provide you as a man, that is the main reason their men will then start cheating (ok, most men don’t need a reason to cheat but an opportunity) even if they didn’t want to. So it important to that you don’t fall for any of these if you intended to keep it for that guy.

    On the side note; there are many who managed to keep theirs till late in their lives. The reason sounded to me like “religious reason” or some were (or still) not approachable for a date (are now really looking for a man) while some were just unattractive so did not get an opportunity. Therefore keeping it does not guarantee marriage as well.

  14. Q&A
    well you still young at 19 you can still loose your virginity anytime after 21, chances you will, Varsity charmers will deal with you and you will feel ready even if you not. lol well if its religious and you want to keep your virginity then dont play with boys simple as that, even virgins get horny ul get burnt if you playing with fire. BUT REALLY WHO WANTS A VIRGIN THESE DAYS, THATS JUST SOOO PERVET LIKE..

  15. What a disappointment Faith, how could you? why do you even think that guy is hot, were is Tidi you will regret not giving Tidi a 2 chance. Some friend you are.

    A-Q Nana you too young to be worried about future hubby, exactly to whom are you keeping yourself a virgin for? For yourself or a man? Nonetheless its very admirable what you doing. Keep it up, focus on school and building your career not on sex and on whether or not the hubby will be happy with the fact that you kept yourself. Better yet, when they have paid your lobola and you have walked down the aisle you can ask your hubby that question.

    Thanks Team

  16. Thnx MIKEY.

    Q&A I totally agree with Jackzorro and this is a reality of it. Congrats anyways nana take your time and enjoy life. I lost mine at 21 and do not regret a thing.

  17. Dear Confused Teenager,

    Every single time I hear a girl, young as you are proclaiming their proud teenage status I can’t help but wonder what the intention behind all that is. Call me cynical but you being a virgin is your business and do it for no one other than yourself. Not to gather kudos from people around you.

    You are still young, losing and not losing your virginity, getting married and husbands should be the least of your worries. I know society is getting accustomed to the sexually active age bracket getting younger and younger, but remember you are still an individual in that society and you can make your own decisions. Don’t compare yourself to your peers, whether or not they are, is their business. A young defensive retort might ensue about how you didn’t mention anyone else, but in all honesty, half that time there is that constant comparison we do with ourselves and our peers.

    With regards to you “husband”, Let your husband find out for himself when the day arrives instead of reminding him about how proud you are to be a virgin. A simple analogy is this, it’s like seeing a movie trailer where they show you all the best parts of the movie and you eventually get to watch it and it’s a flop.

    Word of advise, you will know when you’re ready, just make sure that when you do eventually get to it, you’re doing it for you and only for you. So there isn’t any regret thereafter, cause as you probably should know by now, people will always disappoint you but everything you do for yourself will always be worthwhile.

    Good Luck and be you yourself


  18. QnA- Sweety if you want to remain a virgin till marriage then I suggest you stay away from the dating game. I know this may sound bad but if you dating and there’s no physical contact then I and most people view that as simply friendship! That’s all it is.

    Don’t fall into peer-pressure and take as much time as you can. I have to advise you that there are a lot and I mean a lot of aboClever out there who will wait like a year and then once you give up the punani he’ll leave you. Sex is everywhere and it could be so easy for a guy to wait for you while his getting some on the side. So like someone said above, don’t do it to look good for hubby, do it for yourself.

  19. Thanks Mike. Faith and her big mouth.
    QnA. Darling those guys left you because they were not getting what they came for. You should be proud of yourself

  20. Q&A.stop worrying about future hubby , what if you dnt get married? I mean it not everyone who gets married. Hence if u keeping your virginity that good but it must not be 4 future hubby but yourself!

  21. A2Q you have something precious and let me tell you,pray hard to God to give you a man who is also a virgin and that man will respect and forever cherish you. Take it from someone who knows. Whoever dumps you because you are a virgin is stupid and will just use you and leave.

  22. Thank you BHEJANE…. i see most ladies commenting and bluffing themselves as usual…i wish more men can explain to the poor child.. coz vele she needs to hear it from future hubby potentials

  23. Wow now every second was a virgin till 21 ,25 etc .Doesn’t sound real though but it’s none of my business.
    Young girl be proud of what you have between your legs ziinkomo zikatata ezo and good luck on finding a man willing to buy u without a test drive.Cheers to ur V status .

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