Rumblings – Chapter Seventy Two

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

Men do bad things against women because they genuinely believe they will not get caught and if they do get caught they will get away with it. I doubt when he beats up a woman or even rapes her he will be thinking that after this is jail so let me do it some more. Another thing they prey on is that women tend to forgive at some point. That is true. We have this weakness inside us that makes us usually break. The look on Mudenda’s face was priceless! He wanted to die. Immediately Meladi’s father stepped up in his defence and said it was not his fault he was defending his fiance. The white officer pointed out that there were two witnesses who would claim otherwise.

“Where you there sir when this happened?”

He asked him. He looked at him and responded,

“No sir I was not but…”

He was cut off as the question was readdressed to Tidimalo and my sister,

“Yes sir we were!”

He looked at her father and then said,

“So who do you think we should listen to, those who were there or those who were not?”

He asked him. He had must made this great powerful man look stupid and choke on his own power.

“Speak for yourself you stupid boy I can’t defend you the whole way!”

He said to Mudenda. This had not been part of my mission in life but when his father in law called him stupid I knew deep down he had just reached a turning point with his son in law. The respect was gone and nothing is harder to fix than this. I was on a roll now,

“You know him sir, remember when you found him hitting me at his house when I came to introduce the baby? Meladi is next! Abusive people never stop. You know it and I know it!”

I said. He stopped in his tracks. I had made a good point and I think he recognised that. Angrily Mudenda shouted,

“I am not abusive!”

But that anger just made everyone in the room believe me even more! Like I said I had not planned is.

“Do you want to see the bruises he caused today?”

I asked the father now milking it for all its worth.

“What if it’s self inflicted? I was not there so I can’t verify!”

Now he had moved from saying he had been defending his daughter to distancing himself from it. So quickly! Wow! I walked to him and showed him the bruises. I wish I was a bit lighter than this so that it can show even more but alas it is what it is.

“That is the man marrying your only daughter! He already abandoned a woman six months pregnant by simply upping and leaving! What kind of a man does that make him?”

I asked the father. I know if he was not listening to me I would have least planted that seed of doubt.

“Now I have to take him to maintenance court just to make my child have food!”

I said angrily. That triggered something in me, if I got him arrested I might have a problem of getting maintenance. When you have a child and are a single mother you always have to think of the bigger picture. A man in jail often loses his job and when he comes out chances of getting a new one a slim at best. Oh hell no, he was not escaping like that!

“No its fine, I will not press charges officer. I am not a vengeful person. It could mess up his career!”

With that I walked out and left. Tidimalo and my sister followed suit. When we were outside my sister asked me why I had changed my mind. Even Tidimalo could not understand because I had been that close to getting my revenge. What they don’t get is that I had done more damage than him sleeping in a cell ever will. I had created that element of doubt. Don’t kid yourself doubt is possibly the most powerful negative force that can ever follow you around. Nothing beats it. Now he will never be happy especially if the inlaws did not trust him. They will ask their daughter to leave him and it will create tension forever. I was not ashamed nor did I feel bad about what I had done. I never started off to be a mean baby mama but he had made this person. In his head by me not pressing charges it will be like either I am weak or I have forgiven him. Reality is, the suffering was like slow poison and it was coming.

Amo was crying now so I sat with him and held him closely. My sister said her man was coming over later so she wanted to know if she should tell mom about her engagement. Why would she even ask that? Is that not a good thing? Tidimalo congratulated her and started sing wedding songs like,

“Makoti ke de nako, wa jika jika…”

Which made my sister blush and we all laughed. All was well with the world. When we got home I finished up cleaning the couch. Tidimalo left just as my mother arrived.

“That boy is always running away when I get here!”

She said as soon as she entered. It’s true what she was saying though, Tidimalo always left when she was in the house but I doubt it was because he was running. That was just about the only nice thing she said though! Not that it was nice but oh well!

She immediately started complaining at how dirty the house was! She complained about everything. I don’t know how mothers do it but many girls can tell you that you can clean the house and your mother will come and tell you that it’s dirty. She will find things you never could have imagined and show you to prove a point.The house as far as I was concerned had no speck of dust in it. The only section that could have been messy was the kitchen because my sister was using it. In the mood she was in there was no way I was going to bring up all the drama that had transpired in her absence. She had a way of making things worse, Funny thing she never actually looked at the couch that I was the most worried about. She was focused on the floor but wait till she sees it! There will be hell to pay

She went into her bedroom complaining then called me to bring her a feather duster! Imagine! When I brought it she showed me a spider and asked me why we had not killed it!


I told her it had not been there before but she said I was lying. I asked why kill it with a feather duster of all things we should just spray it with Doom! She went beserk and told me that I don’t appreciate how expensive things are! The feather duster was free and did not finish yet I was saying use something she will have to buy and replace. She swung at the spider but it moved. She then tried to stab the damn the damn thing but it fell of the ceiling and ran under the bed. We both jumped in fright funny enough. It was hard to keep a straight face with all that was going on. My mother was not too pleased. The spider was not getting away with its life because she bent over to look under the bed for it but only a fool would not realize that by now it. Was good but tell my mother that. In two seconds she was back out and this time she was holding something. My jaw dropped!

“What is this?”

She asked. She was holding a used condom wrap (not the actually used condom) but in my head I could hear R Kelly in Trapped in A Closet sing in horror,

“Oh my God a rubber…rubber!”

My mother turned all colours in anger!


*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I have a problem and I am not sure how to address it. My boyfriend is so stingy. We have been dating for three years and generally he is a good boyfriend. We don’t go for movies unless I pay, lunch and outings I pay too. Two months ago my friend was having a wedding and he made me pay him for fuel and tollgates to Polokwane and back from Jhb. He works and earns more than me even when you take out the car and insurance installment. Help me understand this man please! I have had three birthdays with him and all 3 he gave me a r750 voucher from either a mall or shop. I make my own money but I spend it on him. He is at my flat every weekend and does not contribute to much. I have complained to him about this but he does not change.

Should I break up with him even thought I love him and he loves me!

Thank You


35 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Seventy Two

  1. QnA quick question would you be able to live your whole life with him and his behavior? Your answer to that should determine what you should do.

  2. yho faith , i dont know how she thinks but i wld hve let Mudenda sleep in a cell atlst 1night

    Judith-shes smethin else ,

    cnt wait for Monday

  3. ayeye someone’s getting it this time! thnx Mike,you are boss man! Q&A do you see yourself spending ur entire life with someone who won’t spend a cent on you while you are dating?mind you this is the time he should be wooing you and spending all he can,when you get married it can only get it actually depends on how much you willing to tolerate that for the sake of love.My partner doesn’t willingly take me out or spoil me much either but i don’t mind because I go out when i want to,I spoil myself when I feel like it,with my money or his, he doesn’t mind since whats mine is his and whats his is mine lol… do you think your boyfriend doesn’t want to spend money on you or he’s just not the romantic type?don’t let your happiness depend on him and doing stuff for you and you will be happy in ur relationship.

  4. Thank you Team. Mike i see that one can buy diary on line – is it not available in book shops?

    Hai shem Faith drama just loves you.

    Gladys, the problem is that you have spoiled him for 3 years now u start complaining. Remember as a lady you teach your man how he treats you. I just tell my man that we’re going out and he is paying, end of the story – if i want to take him out i also just tell him we’re going out & it’s my treat. Sometimes we share the bill doesnt matter whose idea it was to go out. And knowing how stingy your man is, i think you should have discussed logistics with him regarding the Polokwane wedding. Why is he always at your flat weekends? why can’t you go to his and return the favour? When my man comes over to my place i do everything, if he wants to help he does like peeling veggies & doing dishes when i go over his place i do the same; he does everything and i help.
    My 2c worth? It is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks – it is just taxing but you will get there so you’d better start now

    Good luck!!!

  5. Q&A That just reminded me of something my Gran would do if any of us refused to contribute to household upkeep…the magic words were: “Ivila malingadli”, i honestly donot think that your boyfriend appreciates the money you spend on him and the food he finds at your place, now here are a few ideas,1. dont buy groceries on the weekend of month end (he only comes there for free food,that hopefully will make him get take away) 2. do not be available, go out with your friends (at least with your friends you split the bill and have fun) 3. starve him, limit your expenditure on him, if you want to go out go with people abangakhiyeli.
    its going to be hard but if you want this relationship tighten your purse strings, shiy’iscefe lol. You condition a person, have a routine, the most he has spent on you is R2250.00 cabanga!!!

  6. Q&A Gladys leave that man, he will sponge on you and suck you till you are dry and leave you to find greener pastures. He does it intentionally.

  7. That rubber-R.Kelly part got me in stiches LMAO!! Thanks Mikeesto, daily dose.

    Gladys, is he going to make you pay for your own lobola and damages too? Are you actually waiting for him to ask you to propose to him? And pay lobola to his family? Coz its quite clear who the Man of that relationship is. Let that b*tch go, life is too damn expensive to be giving social grants to a man who works. That fool can’t even appreciate you enough to buy you an actual gift, not a junk gift card. Let him loose, izinja weren’t made to be on a leash anyway.


  8. Ey guys, I love u all so much, all of u make my day, n good work mike, how ur head functions only God knows, you good,

    Q/A, girl if your man never spoil you like a queen u r, no mater how much u love him he will never change, n is hard to change a man, ul marry him n end up feeding him n hs kids, he will never change, talking doesn’t help n he is not even ashamed to b spending ur money n all, hauwa I can’t deal with dat, u will build your home alone girl, I c trouble him

  9. Poor Judith, she always manages to get herself in trouble one way or the other. QnA, the bible says a man shows his love for his woman by going out of his way to make sure she’s provided for, that is in his genes, if this guy expects you to provide for him, maybe u should question the love he so proclaims for you. A woman show her love for her man by respecting him. Him expecting you to pay for his fuel and tollgates just because its your friend’s wedding is a concern, say u now married and you need to drive home say for your sick mom and you broke, what then? are u gonna go around borrowing money whilst he’s there? I can’t tell u what to do dear, but actions speak louder than words, and a man shouts ‘I love you’ with him ‘wanting’ to provide for you.

  10. QnA I have an ex who was stingy,when I realized,I stopped doing anything for the relationship,I started to put all the money on me,took myself out-without him,even when he needed money veeeeery much I would say I don’t have,I took myself out for lunch,dinner alone,holiday trips with the girls,honey that’s your money,feel entitled to it as he feels about his,don’t change this behavior unless he does,I rather help a stranger with money than a man who doesn’t want anything with his,petrol…..if you have to pay for it,then take a taxi……you don’t have a car so you can’t hire a chauffeur,when he takes you out,he uses R100 only for movies….doesn’t spend,even if you speak to him he won’t listen,so stop using your money on him,he won’t change… save yours rather,have a relationship with him that doesn’t involve money…..weekend thing start going out often on weekends so that he doesn’t come to your place,or go to his….

  11. Hahaha! I don’t mean to laugh mara Mike, the 2 letters? Yesterday’s and today’s? Do u know me? Let’s forget about yesterday’s. My man is stingy too. I find it funny. I’ve been made to pay for everything too. As for birthday presents? Hahaha!! Yesterday was my birthday. Just guess what I got. I even paid a traffic bribe. I won’t mention everyting but this I have to Hahaha!! We were pulled over because his car didn’t have number plates and he went out the car, came back amd said, “hey ABSA” I need 50 rands. I MADE A VOW NEVER TO CARRY MY PURSE WITH HIM ANYMORE. Now he pays. I don’t cook when he comes over anymore, we do take aways! And without my purse??? He pays. Simple as that. And oh! My present? Still waiting! Not really. I aint getting shit. And am a giving person. I don’t even remember how many things I’ve bought for him in the year I’ve been with him.

    1. Let me tell you how this works:
      Women tend to be stingy with a cookie on a man that they feel the potential for a great future under the claim that we want him to be loyal (remember, that 90 days rubbish etc).
      Similar, some men tend to be stingy on a woman that they see as a partner. A lay just needs to be impressed then layed. Of course some can do that if they dont see a future. Just saying.

  12. Dear Gladys,

    I think the root of most our insecurities as women when it comes to confronting the men in our lives about finances is that we are scared of being labelled materialistic and gold-diggers. A few years ago i was in the same position as you are now. till i decided that to hell with him and I deserved a more than what he was willing to give. Sometimes we try so hard to be patient and understanding but we all should know what the bare minimum of our needs should be. We do this when it comes to who we are attracted to in physical appearance why can’t we do so with their financial status.

    My mom always says, don’t see poverty walking down the street and invite it into my home. Growing up I thought she was snobbish and pompous but now I understand what she meant about that. Know your worth and make sure he knows it you, lest you find yourself 10 years down the line paying for a mortgage, kids and God knows what also frustrated at yourself and the world. What you can do though is ask him what his issue is, there are guys out there that are compulsive savers to the extent that they even deny themselves things. If that is the kind of men you have then i’m so sorry for you cause their abject saving knows no bounds and they never have enough.

    Good luck, and keep looking out for number one. Wanting to be taken care of doesn’t make you materialistic. It’s just how we were designed as females


    Q&A… After 3 years and no change, then clearly you need to stop what you have been doing and try something new. Maybe your Mr has become so use to you doing stuff that he aint even show what to do now.

    But, can we please have a follow up to this letter?

  14. but why are guys so stingy. I just broke up with my boyfriend for that same reason. he used to hide his stingy nature by saying he doesnt celebrate things like valentines day, christmas annerversaries. but i knew it was time to go when he would even take me out on my birthday. when i went all out on his birthday. and when ever i gave him presents he accepted them. and didnt say he doesnt celebrate. mxim. i get so pissed off when i think about the time and energy i spent on him.
    sisi leave now, or ul be bitter like me!

  15. Thank you Mike:)

    and Thank you for the long awaited Diary of a ZuluGirl copy.
    You are one in a million!!!


  16. Gladys shame I feel fr u bt this man u should nt give him ur cookie , 2 u must not give him food whn he comes around buy ur own food nd eat infront of him mayb his busy paying Lobola fr sm1 else n u here busy feeding him ur food. Go out wth ur frnds cos they will buy their own food nd leave him behind!

  17. Osego
    You mean that you are paying and you still dont enjoy the other service?
    Eish, askies man; it reminds me when I was friendzoned some years back.

  18. Gladys were u hoping for inflation link gift cards on your birthdate…a cheapo is a cheapo and will never change but maybe the guy is supporting family back home n its killing him.

  19. Dear Gladys,I know your predicament,I am dating a man for over 2 years,we were pretty serious. To sum it up we would love to spend ourlives together. Nigger is stingy!!! We lived together and I found myself maintaining the whole household. He is an entrepreneur and does really well. Oh Gladys I love him God knows but I couldn’t take it anymore. How many times must we correct. I packed my bags and I’m back home. If that does not teach him then nothing can!! We are WORTH every dime. We deserve to be treated. Stop wasting anymore time. Re genoeg bathong!!

  20. Ta Adv Cmndr Maphoto – uBosso!

    Sisi Gladys yo letter seems to miss other info like what his spending is like with friends & family. After 3yrs U shud know mo than UR telling us.
    Myb all U need 2do is jst return d favor. Don’t spend yo money on d bustd.
    Don’t cook when he comes. Leave yo wallet & ask him to drive to d nearest drivethru.
    Next tym U go on a trip 2getha show him yo wallet with R200 & say thats all U hav & ask if he drop U @a taxi rank so he can drive alone then U will meet later @the destination?
    Unless he has another gf then he is short changing U lady & UR the coz. Change yo ways & if he can’t read all yo road signs, then its time to quit! – PapaG

  21. Lol… Judith mara… Well at least she is safe….

    q&a… You are not alone… I attract sting men too… But I can never ever spend my money on any man whom doesn’t spend on me too. I dont know how to ask, I expect one to know how to take care of his woman but damn these pedi men are stingy! When you ask nkare o gold digger actually aketsebe tshwanetse motho adireng.

  22. I disappear for two weeks and come back to this awesome new website, love it! hmm fast thinking on Faith’s side but she could have allowed him to sleep in jail just once.

    Judith your mother is sending you to nursing school straight!

    Thanks team

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