If you are a mother you will know that the most precious thing that even money can’t buy is your child. You love her with everything that you have and will die for him if need be. There is something so deep between the bond of a mother and child that all men can never actually fully comprehend. Its not just about the nine months that we carried him in the stomach but also every beautiful and painful second it took us to raise that child. It’s more than the the 13hour labour we went through but also the constant worry of what my child will eat, wear, drink and sleep. It’s a whole lot of things and unless you have ever had a child then you will never ever have known what the truest of love is. Now with that said, to lose a child is the ultimate. I don’t mean in death, I mean to know someone took your child away from you. That is the scariest thought ever and it was happening to me right this moment!
“She is with my sister!”
I told myself as I was actually starting to hyper ventilate. I was already pacing back and forth to the door to look outside the window hoping to see the car drive back in but none of that.
“She is with my sister, everything is fine! Don’t panic Faith, don’t panic!”
I told myself as I walked to my phone very quickly. I called her again and her phone did not ring. I called my mother and she picked up,
“I am on my way already I managed to leave early so that I can come and help you prepare for tonight!”
She said immediately without giving me a chance, she could hear me breathing heavily I think because she asked,
“Faith what’s wrong?”
I tried to remain calm but it was not working.
“Judith is gone mom! She packed everything and left…”
I did not finish because she cut me off and said,
“She will be back! She always comes back right!”
She reassured me or herself,
“No mom! She took Amo with her. She packed his clothes too!”
“She did what?”
My mother asked in what was almost a scream.
“That stupid girl!”
My mother swore on the phone.
“She took my baby mom! She took my baby!”
Now I was crying. I had tried to compose myself because of the comfort that she was with my sister. Judith loved Amo I have always said and possibly it was the only person I had seen her love the most. Was it my fault though? That morning she did not want Amo, I had forced her to keep him when I went to the shops. She had refused and only when I said I will take the car had she been forced to stay with him. This was still kidnapping though!
“Don’t do anything am on my way home right now?”
My mother said. I could also hear the fear in her voice. Calling the police would lend her in jail and ruin the rest of her life and after the last few days I had had calling the police on my sister was the last thing I had. I am certain they now all knew my drama, now this!
I had to do something. I thought of putting clothes in the laundry machine just to keep me busy till my mother got here but I remembered the machine was not working. I went to the kitchen to finish with the food but I was not thinking straight. I don’t know who my mothers guests were but they will have to relax and chill. I am sure when we told them why they would understand. Maybe my mother should cancel her plan because obviously this took priority. I decided to call Zama of all people. I did not have drama with her and I did not want to over stress on what was on my mind. She was happy to hear from me and she said she wanted me to help her with her wedding plans. Zama was my age and she was getting married! How deep is that?
“I would not even know when to start! Do you know that you are the first friend I have to get married?”
I told her. Which was true. I was not a fan of getting married too young because I have always felt that gives you more time to fuck it up as you not fully mature yet. This did not mean I did not support her! Hell no! I was excited for her and her hubby. I knew him and he was a stand up guy.
“Is there something wrong, you sound funny!”
Sje said. I think she could hear that my voice was not it’s usual self and with good reason. I decided against telling her though because it would seem like I come from that Jerry Springer show with a dysfunctional family. She asked me when last I had spoken to Mudenda. She just had to do that. You know how if you are a baby mama out of university your friends will always ask you about him, your baby daddy, because they too knew him. I brushed it off and told her we were not in touch which was a lie. I was not to explain all the recent drama that I had experienced by his hand. Lest you forget, she too had slept with Mudenda but for some reason I don’t know what I had forgiven her. Eish Mudenda, if he found out I lost my baby he would say I was a bad mother!
It was Judith!
I ran outside into the driveway as she parked the car and opened the car door whilst the car was still in motion. She pressed the brakes and yelled,
“What are you doing?”
She came out of the car immediately and stood next to me. I think the look of shock on her face told a story I should have noticed but I had not. She opened the door for me and immediately I grabbed my child from the back seat of the car.
My mother walked out at the same time as me and she punched my sister so hard she fell. Who cares that we had guests coming?
“How dare you kidnap Amo? How dare you? You are shameless!”
My mother yelled at her. My sister looked scared and shocked. She was bleeding from her nose!
“I didn’t. I had to go do laundry at the mart because the washing machine is broken and all his clothes and mine were dirty. I tried to wait for Faith when she went to the shops but she took so long!”
She cried. She was actually weeping and it was a sad sight,
“So why didn’t you call?”
My mother asked and choking on her tears she said,
“I left you both a missed call on a different phone saying my battery is flat. I borrowed from someone!”
She turned and looked at me,
“How could you even think I would ever do that to you?”
She asked as she stood and open the car boot then just walked inside. Inside it were neatly folded clothes, including Amo’s formula.
We were wrong!
At that very moment my mothers guests arrived.
It was my uncle and.a man I think I had only met once before,
We had not finished cooking!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading my letters.
I am a young lady 23 years of age. A year ago I was diagnosed HIV positive. I was doing a random test at university and had no worry in the world when I got the news. Needless to say I was terrified. I told no one and stayed single. I am not South African by the way. In my country there is a lot judgment. My friends whenever the HIV topic comes up they are mean and brutal about their views on it. For this reason I have never come out to them. I am not on ARVs as I have a high CD4 count meaning I am as healthy as can be in my condition. I check up with my doctor every month. The irony is all the doctors I have seen since I got diagnosed have tried to sleep with me. Is it even normal? I even dated one of them. I am writing this letter to ask you to get me a female who is also HIV positive that I can talk to. South Africans are more open minded and I have so many things to discuss and let loose. Please if any of you are willing can you give Mike your email address or number for whatsapp. Mike please attach your email address I am sure people trust your discretion.