Some problems have no solutions. We had no idea where the journalist was. I told my husband that we had to go home and what ever happens happens. I had tried my best now all I had to was await my fate. That’s all a lady can wish for. My brother said he was going to find him. He said he knew his drinking spots and the people he hung out with including his fiance. I asked him how come he knew so much and he said his fiance was his ex. I have always wondered though, as a woman, how do you feel when your husband is friends with your ex. I know we live in a modern world and so on but when they both look at you they have both seen you naked and know the sounds you make during sex! Imagine. Maybe I am old fashioned but I know with me I would never cope. I asked my brother how that works and he said that every woman was someone’s ex so you can’t avoid because when you were younger you could not keep your legs shut! He was being deliberately rude I think because he was angry at the fact that I was angry at me. He asked us to drop him off at his friends place and fortunately it was not too far away from us.
As soon as we entered my husband stood in front me and asked,
“Where did you get it from that I am your pet?”
I was not sure what he meant so I said a dismissve,
He was not playing, he grabbed me and pushed me violently on the couch!
“I said, where do you get off talking to me rudely like I am a child! All I said to you was it was nice having an adventure with you then you go on to speak to me like that in front of your brother!”
This man can be annoying at times!
“Get over yourself Sizwe ok! You are childish and petty!l
I snapped at him,
“You want to talk adventures when we are in trouble. Are you serious? We are in this mess because you decided to do business with gangsters!”
I told him be he would not hear it!
“I decided to do business you say? Was it not you that hired a private investigator because all of a sudden I am not to be trusted. I had a child before I met you! That’s my crime.”
“Should I have told you? Yes I should have but how? Your father, that evil man, wanted to break my legs if I had not married you immediately when you got pregnant. Do you remember that? He had five of his taxi guys to come to my house in the early morning that day to bring me before him!”
He was not lying but what did this have to do with anything,
“Do you remember how we were both so scared? You even wanted us to run away from home! Now you tell me at what point could I have told you that?”
I kind of understood his point had it been made maybe 10years ago so why did he keep quiet this long. Men are good at making excuses.
“And in our marriage, before you and your father fought, did he not control our marriage at every turn. Every argument we had you would go and report to him. How often didd his thugs come to deliver a message that I should behave? How often?!”
“You were not man enough to stand up to him! You were a coward! You blaming me for that! My father saw that you were weak and wanted to toughen you up but I am sure he gave up a long time ago. You are still the same weak man you were then to this day!”
I said as I stood up, he was so mad and heaving back and forth.
“And don’t you ever talk to me like I am a child! Grow a pair of balls next time or else!”
I said as I poked him with my middle finger on his forehead.
“Or else what?”
He asked me!
“Or else I will divorce your weak excuse for a man!”
I said defiantly and poked him again. I am a strong independent woman! Can’t be told what to do by a man!
“Now get out of my way your fucken arsehole!”
I swore at him but some inverse thing happened, it was not intentional or was it, I spat at him in his face. You know that one that makes the,
Sound when it leaves your lips. The horror in his face when I did that. I guess he didn’t appreciate that! He slapped me so hard I fell back into the couch! I stood up and punched back like five times but he kept on blocking!
“How dare you hit a woman? How dare you Sizwe? Who the fuck do you think you are? I am going to tell my father!”
I managed to say in between the heavy heaving that had manifested in my anger.
“Tell him and also divorce me but today I am going to show that always being quiet and letting you do what ever you want and talk to me somehow does not make me less off a man!”
I was still in the process of punching him but he grabbed my hand and twisted it such that it turned me over! He pushed me back to the couch and before I could turn and regain my balance he pinned me down. I could not move!
He raised his hand and started slapping my buttocks so hard I felt like he had fire in his hands. That’s how hot the claps were! I was not going to cry! Hell no. I tried to twist my self out of this position but was trapped. The man is strong.
“You think I am a small boy don’t you!”
He said angrily. He did not hit anywhere else except my ass. Imagine, I am a grown woman, a doctor, a mother and I was being spanked for lack of a better word! Eventually I cried as I could not handle the pain anymore and the moment I did he stopped. I managed to twist myself forward somehow which made him fall over and he banged his head on the coffee table. Blood came out immediately. I think he was almost knocked out. This was my opportunity. I kicked him in the stomach as he was on his knees!
“You fucken bastard how dare you hit me!”
I screamed. The momentum of the kick rolled him over onto his back. There was so much blood on my Persian rug which made me even more angry. I stomped him in the stomach and he blocked me. He was in pain and if I was not a doctor I would not have seen that he had a mild concussion. He had hurt himself. I was not going to stop there! I am never going to be an abused wife. So what I started the fight? So what I had said those things to belittle him? So what I allowed my father and his thugs to belittle him time and time again? So what I treated him like a child? So what I spat at him? No, the woman is always right and must never be touched by the hands of a man in any sort of violence! It is what the government says, it was society says no matter what the facts are! I was going to kill this fool! He had taken my daughter to that awfull place without consulting me and I wanted her back. He did not own us! He must go to his Nelisa I don’t care! All these things I was screaming at him as I kicked. Somehow he stood up, blood covering half his face!
This time he did not hold back! He punched me with his left hand, my husband is right handed by the way so I was ready to block the right meaning I didn’t see it coming.
He punched me so hard with his left hand!
I blacked out!
******The End *******
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Please put my letter on an appropriate post.
I am one of those abusive wives or rather let me say I was. My husband and I got married 11 years ago when we were both 23. We already had a four year old at that stage. My husband was never the “guy guy” type and preferred soapies and comedy to wrestling and sports. He was a soft guy, soft spoken and avoided confrontation. This created a problem, when ever we had a disagreement he would roll over and play dead. This annoyed me so much because things were not going well in the house. I don’t know how it started but before long I was beating up my husband. He never hit me and because he is a man he never screamed out or anything so nobody knew. He would block here and there until I got tired. This happened a lot of times. Each time he would talk to me and say this should never happen again. At the time we were both working (teachers but different schools). I would hear other women complain about being beaten up at home and I stood with them even went marching a few times against violence against women and children.
6 months ago during one of my beatdowns, my husband stopped blocking and he beat me up properly. I went to the police station immediately and he was arrested. It was his unlucky day because he was beaten up in the police cells so badly that they broke his hand.
I dropped the charges much to the angst of the other women I march with because they said that I should set an example. He divorced me immediately after. I won’t lie I regret everything I did. When I heard that he could be dating someone again I was devastated. He even changed schools to a new school. He comes to pick up our son and I have begged him to forgive me but he looks at me like dirt.
My question is, was I wrong in reporting him to the police? Should he have reported me and gotten me arrested the mother of his child? Is it ever right for a man to beat up a woman even one like me who made him her punching bag?
I know what I did was wrong but this is my story. Thank you Mike for reading this and God bless your readers.