Rumblings – Chapter Sixty

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

This has to be one of the oldest stories in the book, 99% of the time, no, 99.9% of the time when a woman has a relationship with a much older man she will cheat on him. It’s as true as snow is white! It’s like these old farts never learn that yes his money, house, cars, holidays can keep her warm, they will never ever replace the pleasures a young man can give her. Some women have the nerve to say that the money will keep her warm and she will buy toys if not satisfied by the old madala in her bed but who is she kidding, a toy won’t lift her up and fuck her like she wants! It won’t lick her until she screams nor will it penetrate her until she moans. An old man will not spank that ass, bend her over doggystyle, ride her like she should be ridden nor will he have the energy for round two where he will be more sensual tender and slow. At that stage he is probably sleeping shem, exhausted and trying to calm down to prevent a heart attack! I honestly don’t know how these girls do it really. They deserve a medal for dating our grandfather’s shem! Ok, I am a lady let me not be so crude but I was fascinated in knowing, could she really be? Aurelia wow! She had it all, a sugardaddy to maintain her and his son to satisfy her!

As I walked to my taxi I had so many questions in my head and weird enough it was turning me on. Think about how much sex she was getting and the fact that I was getting zero. She had two men and what’s worse, one with lots of money worshipping her honeypot. Most of us girls are stuck with broke ass wanna be’s who to compound this can’t even satisfy a woman. See, I did not say all younger men are good in bed. Some are a disaster. That’s the reality of most women no wonder why we cheat. Men think that we don’t crave sex too like they do? Well we do! That’s why we always looking for husbands because with the love we have to give and the sex he has to share we can make magic. The taxi driver, typical men, saw that I was in a good mood and asked me why? If only I could tell him that I was fantasising about getting some from my bosses son, no I mean Tidimalo! Eish, not sure anymore! These thoughts were making me wet and I was uncomfortable. How was I going to work with a guy who turned me on to the point where my boiled with anger but my honeypot was left dripping with desire! I squeezed my legs together right there in the taxi tightly to prevent anything from dripping down but that only made it worse! This was not working. Why couldn’t I just get out of the taxi? What had gotten into me? I was not some horny little teenager but here I was in a taxi of all places having these dirty thoughts over someone I had already concluded I hated and was potentially screwing my friend.

The more I fought it the more it overcame me. I could feel this good tension from my head to my toes, very exciting feeling. My eyes were wide open and thankfully the taxi was not full because had anyone touched me I would have exploded. I try to think safe thoughts, you know thought about the weather, pictured Bhut’ Khapela with his shirt off just to get my mind off things but Lunga kept on creeping back in somehow. I looked outside the windscreen but the thoughts of this guy. I had never done this before. It was overwhelming and I even felt light headed. At some point my vision blurred I don’t know but thank the sweet heavens I arrived at my destination. I was home, well not home but on my road. I was so embarrassed and as I walked out the taxi I thought for sure my skirt was wet at the back. Don’t ask if you don’t know why but most girls know exactly what that wetness is. I needed to get laid badly and I didn’t even have options. Was I that ugly an woman not to have options? Wow. The last time I had had sex was when I was still with Mudenda. I genuinely felt like a virgin again the way it feels like it had been so long. During pregnancy I was always horny so imagine what I went through when I was dumped! Sex is not addictive per se but when you miss it your miss ir. That’s just it.

When I entered the house I found my sister sleeping with Amo. They did not even hear me come in. After all the dramas of the previous day I don’t blame them for the exhaustion. I was tired myself but still had so much to do. I had to start cooking for one because like I said, my sister doesn’t cook. My mother was out so it was just us. First things first though I had to cool off. I need that cold shower, ok fine maybe not cold but luke warm. I also had this paper work to complete so my day was far from over.

Thirty minutes later I was feeling much better and quite embarrassed by myself. It was a temporary moment of weakness on my part which should never happen again if I was going to work with this guy. I could not and should never entertain thoughts about this guy again. I knew how I was going to do it too, every time I thought of Lunga I would just put Mudenda’s face on him. That should work easily. I laughed. How could I have possibly loved this guy at some point?

As I was cooking I had my papers on the table. I had to multi task and finish before Amo woke up.There was someone at the door! It was Tidimalo! He was acting shady but he said he would not be entering, not today anyway.

“There is something I need to tell you. I am in love with you and I know you know. I have been fighting it now for a bit but it’s not a winning battle. Please think about what I am saying!”

He said looking foolish standing in the door way like that. I asked him to come in and he said no he had to go. Why did he like doing this though?

I watched him drive off and I could not bring myself to say anything about what he had just said. Every girl knows, when you have just had a baby it’s hard to just jump into something. I was no exception. Imagine we dated then we broke up and I lost him too my one true male friend who I won’t lie I had feelings for. This was the second time he had told me his feelings and twice I had not reciprocated.

When I walked into the house I had received a text message from Mudenda. What did this fool want now.

“Meladi and I broke up! Please can I talk to you! I know you don’t want to see me but tonight am coming to your house regardless!”

My heart skipped a bit!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike

I love your blog, just discovered it and have been glued since. I need some help. I am a big girl (my weight fluctuates between 90-100kgs and I’m relatively short 1.63m, most of my weight is in my hips), but I genuinely think I am beautiful, flaws and all, and love myself and am comfortable in my own skin. I however find it difficult to believe any guy finds me attractive because I am not delusional and very aware that I do not fit the mould of what beauty is today if that makes sense. Despite loving and accepting my flaws: acne scars, imperfect skin tone, saggy boobs from losing and gaining weight even though I am only in my early 20s, I can’t imagine why any guy would. I dress well and focus on accentuating my good bits, always have my hair done and my make-up on point. Men and women do compliment me on my looks. Guys do hit on me a lot but I think that they are insincere or think I might have a low self esteem, be grateful for any attention and be a quick and easy lay. Consequently I am always shocked why on earth they would and am not willing to believe them or date them. I met a guy online who I have developed deep feelings for. He is overseas and due to come visit me in about a month (I know his family as he is South African and we come from the same neighbourhood and he is the sweetest person on this earth but very attractive and has dated some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen – met his ex a gorgeous blonde blue eyed beauty who would give Giselle a run for her money). He is out of my league given how gorgeous some of the girls he has dated are. He is extremely popular down here, quite well off, really fit and girls love him but he is so serious about me which baffles me.

I have been honest about my appearance, sent him nudes (yes without my face, please don’t judge) showing me in all my jiggly glory lol and he still seems keen, which has me flabbergasted. Does it make sense that I can find myself beautiful but be not believe others who do, because I am very aware that I do not conform to the ideal of what society has labelled beautiful at this point in time. I think my insecurity stems from a previous 5 year relationship where my boyfriend dumped me for being too fat after I lost about 35kgs but he had no complaints when I was bigger. Are they any men who genuinely find big girls attractive? I know I am a catch on paper, I have an engineering degree, am highly intelligent, love to have fun but always in moderation, despite my weight I lead a very active lifestyle, I am a true lady in the street, chef in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom (extremely open minded and willing to do anything to please a man who handles me right), but I weirdly cannot understand why any guy would want me. I do want to be with a man who wants to show me off to the world. I seem to come across them but can’t believe they are real and genuine. I am more comfortable to be a guy’s dirty secret because I feel like he is being honest about not wanting me to embarrass him with my weight. Guys do any of you genuinely find bigger women like me attractive? And why on earth would you when you can have your pick of any girl out there?


52 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Sixty

  1. Good Morning family. Faith, please do not let Mudenda back into your life. he is not wirth it. As for Tidimalo, eish…!!
    @ConfusedFatGirl, the problem is not your weight. The problem is that you don’t have confidence and esteem. Didn’t you know that big women are attractive? I am also a big woman, wear size 40 and it doesn’t bother me one bit. I have so much confidence you would swear I wear size 30. My husband always tellms he loves me and if I try to lose weight, we always fight but it doesn’t mean he loves me less. He just loves his meat and not bones. If a man loves you, he will love you regardless of how much you weigh. You are big and beautiful Repeat afte me ” I AM A BEAUTIFUL BIG PHAT WOMAN WHO IS FABULOUS!!” Repeat it until you start believing it and then you will start seeing yourself in a different way and not think all men see you in the way you see yourself. And remember lovie, you can’t go around looking for a diamond when you treat yourself like a cubic zircona. Start seeing yourself as a diamond and act like one then you will also attract diamonds.

    Good Luck lovie


  2. QnA why do you need other people to validate your beauty? where is your self confidence and esteem? I am a big girl myself and i can give any skinny woman a run for her money because i understand that beauty starts with the self… if you accept yourself fully (excuse the pun) then you will believe that other people see you the same way.. a beautiful person.

    Beauty is not about body size or weight, it’s not about skin tone nor is it about height. embrace yourself the way you are and change your perception about how other people see you. and Don’t compare yourself with anyone because even the most “perfect” looking people have their flaws (just because they are not obvious it doesn’t mean they don’t exist).

    that’s my 2cents worth

  3. Q&A

    sweety you need to know that the beauty you see in yourself is the same beauty others see also….. I have a few handsome and very stylish male friends that will never be caught dead dating a skinny or slim girl. To them you need to be at least 85kg and above wearing a size 40dress and above.

    Go get your guy and just because a relationship falls apart because a man is no longer pleased with you doesn’t mean all MEN now suddenly find you unattractive

  4. Faith please do not entertain that fool Mudenda, I really like Tidimalo and when he said he had feelings for you I just had butterflies in my stomach. Dont be a statistic where they say all baby mamas always go back to their baby daddies…plsssss

    QnA…. WoW my dear from what I read you sound like an amazing woman that any guy would be lucky to have…. I am not a guy so I do not know what Guys prefer but what I can say is that you should start believing that you are beautiful, Yes you might tell yourself that you are beautiful but if you do not believe it then it means nothing.

    Let me tell you about my insecurities…. I am Tall, size 30, hour glass and all that, not dark and not yellow and fairly beautiful but I still feel somehow I am not attractive because my shoe size is 8, most time even 8 does not fit, I have big feet and although I think I am beautiful, I still feel no man would love my feet…. I mean Really, even JACKZORRO can attest to this, Men dont find people with huge feet attractive….

    But I was not going to allow society to define me and label me as unattractive just because of my shoe size, I always tell people who make fun of my shoe size that your shoe size shows how much you are blessed, shoe size 1 being almost blessed and 10 being highly blessed. You can always joke around with your hips, tell them your hips dont lie and you know how to use them where it counts, if you are comfortable with your weight, everyone around you will be as well

    You need to own it and then it would not bother you what society thinks because there will always be something wrong if you live by that. After its all said and done there is nothing more attractive that a confident woman, A woman who knows she is beautiful and is not afraid to show it and embrace her beauty with flaws and all….. I do not care how many hot girls he has dated but that guy would be blessed to have someone like you, when he comes back, dont try to be like his exes, why is he not with them now? Be yourself and let him see you for who you are.

    1. Lol,you killed me. I am a size 8 too,and I don’t care who says what bout my shoes size. I did not create myself otherwise I would have made myself into a size

  5. Dankie Adv Maphoto

    A2Q “Amadoda awafani, afana ngentshebe kuphela” we men we have our preferencies eg my frnd Gp he is into skinny gals all his exes are size 28 to 30 Whereas chalz is into phat bootylicious women he likes them with meat he even calls them boma range rover, boma suv, double decker etc he likes them. Wena sisi u sound like u dnt have faith in you, u hv a low self esteem ,uyazeya kanti you are PHAT (Pretty Hot Attractive and Thick) be proud marn!


  6. I’m 36, big n curvy and girl the confidence I have is beyond. I love myself and my man loves me for who I am. I was a size 28 when I met him but even after iv gained things haven’t changed btwn me n him. give this guy a break and a chance and stop being negative

  7. Thankx Mike for the awsome read
    QnA girl you need to speak to yourself in the mirror and drill a bucket of confidence in yourself
    being a big girl doesnt mean u unatractive ,you are beautiful in and out.i have had the priviledge to lose 33 kilos and work with alot of women who change their lifestyle nd trust me when i say even a person that weighs 70kilos still wants to lose weight ,in a nutshell im trying to say no one is perfect and no one will ever do so just embrace yourself and try on a daily basis to build confidence in yourself
    its all about your mindset
    screw the media for playing with our minds to think that only skinny women are the attractive ones no way ,,my mom use to tell me ayihlabi ngakumisa and love is more than being sexy and all that bs its about your personality as well

  8. Thanks Mikeesto, a rather wet chapter this was lol, had me smiling from ear to ear.

    @GodsFavourite, you had me ROTFL lol, ei that size 8 is a problem. Look if a guy has size 10 and you 8 then its not really an issue, but if he is a size 6, tjoo, that scene nje lying in bed, feet showing, girls longer than the dude… Kwaaaa. But if you got cute and sexy toes, man the magic one can do to those long skinny things is breathtaking. Improvise sisi, nothing wrong with size 8, unless its a smelly bunch :).

    ‘ I like my girls BBW’ its winter, you think them niggaz with anorexic gfs are happy this time of year? Hell No. Don’t let billboards and magazines tell you what beauty is. You need to realise that beauty is what you see when you look at your mirror, it doesn’t get any better, plus you are smart and fun too, what a bonus. As far as the overseas guy is concerned, be cautious but stop letting your self doubt intefere with potential relationships. If you are confident enough to brag about being a lady in the street, a chef in the kitchen and a freak in the sheets, I don’t think you lacking any self-confidence to believe in yourself.

    Change your mindset and let live, kuzobamnandi when you find the man who will treat you right, what a lucky man that will be 🙂

    All the best BigBeautifulWoman.


    1. Wow… For the 1st time ever I found myself laughing at your comment and nodding for I agree with what you are saying. Profound advice this is. Well done Jacky!

  9. i never comment but today i felt like reponding to today’s letter. hunny i am a 23 years lady, i weigh 109 and im size 44. believe u me u have a problem with ur self confidence, we are all beautiful in our own way, we were made differently and i would not refer u or ,myself as fat but phat. pretty hot and thick. please work on your self confidence and esteem. if u turn to put negative thoughts in ur mind u going to end up beliving in that negative thought and u going to see what u want to see. it doesnt sound as if u are proud of ur body no skin or else u would not be wondering why guys wanna be with you, and please note beautiful things dnt ask for attention.

  10. U see wena Jack, would smooch u ryt away no questions asked, uytyile Tata.
    @qna Mna I’m a 40/42 and gal I make em go madddd!got em curves in all the right places and with my man I don’t hv to do anythn, I min Nada… Il be standing thr cooking next thing the anaconda is hungry, so girl regardless of what society says “WE ARE BEAUTIFUL”!

  11. Confused and PHAT… You need to change your mind set girl. I’m 21 yrs of age wear a size 42 and I feel good every time I look @ the mirror. My boyfriend is amazing.All my friends are skinny every time we joke about weight I just tell I’m the true definition of African beauty, my man can find me between the sheets akudingi ukuthi Aze angicinge!!! We Are Women cause we are “thick n lovely”

  12. QnA I used to model a year ago, I’m still skinny but I’m also insecure. I am a perfectionist so I tend to criticize myself a lot. But when I step outside I freaken make sure I put on my sasha fierce persona and I walk like the world is on my payroll. Everyone is insecure about how they look at one point of their lives but as soon as you let your insecurities control you, then you need an intervention. If you don’t love yourself, trust me no one will. So wake up that fierce innee goodness inside and go that blue eyed hunk!

    1. true that girl!! you should see how I walk,you could swear I am Naomi Campbell, lol,only chubbier. confidence is the key

  13. @ConfusedPhatGirl it pains me to know that a young woman doesn’t find herself beautiful, how ever i was once like that… here’s what i know for sure, men are different, they have different preferences just like women. The issue here is confidence, if you don’t have it, it becomes visible to people and some would take advantage of that, some will look away and some will see it as shyness and they’ll approach. by agreeing to be someone’s dirty little secret you are actually demeaning yourself. and from you wrote here girl you are the ishh for real.
    J.Cole says: what you see is what you lacking not what you packin, take if from a man who knows what you got. Giiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrll you have an ass that skinny girls go to the gym and do squats for, God favored YOU.

    @Jackzorro: you on point fo shizzle

  14. Q&A mmmm this is making me smile.. everyone says thy want slim or slender people but google revealed that the most searched porn phrase is BBW.. So in real life we like things big.. boobs and ass. Well let me speak for myself now, big women really turn me on to a point that i find it hard to cum when doing it with very skinny girl. so yes its very much possible for guys to want you and love you. but the most important part is your confidence and not always complaining about your weight cos we can see it. but you should still try keep off a few killos, eat reqular small meals rich in protein and eliminate carbs and sugar. and get your freak on..

  15. Ncaahhhh you all so sweet…thank you for your comments…Ima keep my head up, and start believing guys are sincere when they for the overseas guy, yeah Ima see what happens…love you all…thank you Mike for posting my letter…

    1. Eish Girl you are not the only one. I am a size 38 and ke na le Mkhaba… I am fairly beautiful, tall and chubby. Have always been. I work in a male dominated industry and I have so much confident in the eyes of my colleagues. I intimidate most of them most of the time but when it comes to dating its something else. I am the type that would not let a man see my naked body unless I am very confortable with him… Ke type e batlang go timiwa le bone before nka hlobola. Its quiet sad because I know my body aint so bad. I know I am a great person and beautiful mara I dont know why I lack the confidence sometimes.

  16. Good read as always big Mike

    Faith, u must forget about the bosses son plus he is your colleague and follow your heart I see u still have a thing for Tidimalo

    QnA. Fat girl u need to mantain that self confidence and worry not about those who come to you…give them that what you see is what u get reception, no favours…. There r guys who really prefers big girls…..gud luck

    Sbu wa.

  17. Faith so Mudenda only wants you cause he broke up with Meladi, you his 2nd option? Last I checked you were cooking neh, please prepare hot water for Mudenda. he needs to know that you are not a 2min microwave meal for when one is lazy to prepare a 7 colours meal.

    Tidi on the other hand just declared that he loves you, don’t mess this up Faith

    Thanks Team.

  18. Q&A
    SESI there is nothing such, just have self confidence am 27yrs a mother of 3 and size44 even wen i gt to the shop am not ashamed of my self even my boyfrnd is not ashemed of me, we r now getting married by september and i wanted to loose few kilos for the wedding but he is refusing coz he said am beatiful as i am with the size am wearing coz that how a sout african women shud be, ka sepedi bare nku re reka mosela

  19. eish Faith shem..go for tidimalo.. but le yena aka notla are after months are o dirile mistake he dsnt wana be a step dad..mudenda le yena o behaver like a pipi ese ka gare ga borokgo..eno ya ka mo le ka mo..haaai as for lunga yena otlo go rathagancha pelo ye. mara please give ur “virginity legacy ” to tidimalo he deserves it hle..khweeee

    Ye e nyaka Catfish.

  20. Q& A: My dear,Real Men are attracted to a woman’s intelligence and confidence,not their dress size. I am a woman and yes im a big girl too and curvy in all the right places. I sure am not the magazine cover girl kind of beauty but I am the girl next door kind of beauty ,which most men love because they themselves are not Channing Tatums or Dwayne Johnsosn. I used to have a low self esteem too,when I was a teenager. I am dark in complexion and chubby and as a teengager I felt ugly. but as I grew into my early twenties, I learned how to groom myself better, and dress well for my body. I got hit on a lot and I also felt the guys were fooling me and trying to get an easy lay. But even when I was with my friends, you know the yellowbones and skinny ones,guys would still want my numbers more than theirs. I would have guys tell me I am beautiful even when they were not hitting on me, So I started falling in love with my looks.
    all im saying to you girl is you are beautiful, don’t ever doubt that. if you have a low self esteem others will see it and will treat you as such. Value yourself,love yourself and others will follow suit

  21. Lmao as for I pictured Bhut’ Khapela with his shirt off just to get my mind off things?? Mike you are being bad 🙂 🙂
    CofusedFatGirl, you need to work really hard on your self-esteem, you do sound very intelligent. I actually love you. 🙂 give the relationship a try, don’t doubt yourself because of what your ex might have said. You are beautiful woman.

  22. Confusedfatgirl.

    I will tell you one thing I always say any fool can drive but it takes a man to handle curves. I am a certified 36 and above man I don’t do below 36 real men eat meat bones are for dogs lol. There are a lot of us guys who are thanda omapakisha not just for winter but all year round. U reali need to boost your self esteem and stop trying to judge yourself through someone elses eyes. Be yourself if he likes you he will like u voetstoots (as is) you just gotta be yourself.

  23. QA, ther r guys hu r into big ladies nd hu find them very attractive, nd being big aint a problem its the body that u hav been given nd yes its myt be hard to believe some men would be interested in you coz of ur size bt some would be genuinely interested. beauty comes from within nd some guys dnt care abt the body as long as u love nd take care of urself dats wat matters most.

  24. Don’t fall for it, stick with Tidimalo. Mudenda wants you to go easy on the maintenance issue, don’t do it!

  25. @confused girl I’m size 32 wth a body many girls wish 4 but my face is a different story,so de fact dat u hv a gud face should make u happy,I rather hv a pretty face dan a nyc body*i dnt even remember wen last I was proposed n dat includes hobos*so b happy cc

  26. @confusedfatgirl darling I was once a size 34 now I’m a size 40 and I’m glad I gained weight because believe it or not I have never felt so beautiful and blessed my confidence has reached limits that when I walk into a room I make a statement I’m young bold PHAT and beautiful but mostly I’m God’s child and I’m created in his image so no one can dictate what I should be when society can’t define perfection you are too bold and strong to let people’s thoughts get you down or doubt yourself and love yourself inside and out.

  27. Q&A
    I am 32 size40 and I love my body I am beautiful, kind and full of love. Just take care of ur self dress according to ur body and smile, he will see you as u are inside and will love u.
    I am single but I dnt blame that on my body I just can’t find some1 that is what I want yet.
    Good luck

  28. QnA sisi u made feel like i cud come and take u to meet my friend who is curvelicious,short and boy is she confident….she makes me wanna be like her…all you need is self love and contentment with who and what you are. Skinny girls are also insecure wt how thy look. I mean how do they know for sure that this men are not just making them trophies the things they take to show around? If a man loves he doesnt care abt the size i mean when this guy approached u he knew what you look like and how big you are and he still chose not to follow size 30, give the guy a chance and love yourself coz sisi it all start from within. Im your typical size 30/32 and im always trying to gain weight to be a 34 atleast because i dnt like being called slender it pisses me off, so us petite ladies we also have our own insecurities u know. Not everyting they show on tv and magazine is perfect. Im a skinny hot looking lady whos alws on point but i love fully figured women who dresses well for their bodies and are confident with them selves i think they are damn sexy and no im not lesbian

  29. Faith stay away from Mudeda, he dumped u like a used condom. Plz give Tidi a chance he was always there for you and he love Amo like his own son.

  30. TaMike You the Boss. I’v just told my manager about your blog n asked her to take leave bcs i’d rather have work overload with her @home rather than having her hiding @the toilet while I do her job lol.

    I like you m in my early 20s n put on size40, m very beautiful n I dont need any mans approval to know that, my Kim Kadashian behind, my strech marks r my perfect imperfection they tell my story. M very stylish n girl u’d think I went to hollywood for my make up. I very comfortable in my own skin n When not If, When I make it to the Magazine cover (which wont be move) it wont be bcz of my beauty but my successes and hard work. Big is Beautiful even my Fellow size 8 sistas never even try to compete with me for they know it will b lost battle. I not dating currently bvz well I haven’t met any guy worth having me. But my previous relationship that ddnt work out was just about other things but my weight. N to you all my BBW embrace those curves, even with out blankets your children will never catch cold. And you Babygirl any man u meet should know that he is very blessed to have such a Hot Smarty for a Gf, n if those Exs r so “perfect” y is he not with them. Good Luck. God bless u all.

  31. A2Q sisi mina I was a size 30, yellowbone and beautiful but I lacked confidence but since gaining some hips and ass I’m soooo confident, I’m now a size 34 and I rock this body like there’s no tomorrow. @Caro your comment killed me bathong! You’re ugly to a point where even a hobo doesn’t give you a second look??? Eish I’m not laughing hle

  32. QnA you are simply beautiful the way you are. Never let the society’s definition of beauty define you sisi. I am however a size 34/36…phat ass, curves and no thigh gap but I feel sexy AF

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