Rumblings – Chapter Fifty Six

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

Have you ever seen a dead person? If you have not then you would never understand the emotions and fear that goes through you if the body is in your proximity. Have you ever seen a lifeless body in front of you, let alone in your sitting room. Now imagine if that dead body was there because of you. Shock is immediate, it’s not something that happens after some time. Your body grows cold and hot at the same time. Black people respect the dead but not as much as we fear them. It’s funny actually. We fear a dead person more than we possibly would if he was alive. We both froze for a second, my mother and I that is. He really was down! He was not moving. I don’t think it even touched him though! He had hit his head on something but I could not see any blood. I was so scared. It was my entire fault I felts as we would not be in this position had he not tried to run from my water. Men can make women do crazy things which are out of character because of how they are so cold and insensitive to situations. He should have called first and not sprung up on us like this. He was here for my lobola not to ask how my life had been since he abandoned. He had not come to ask what it is I had been eating all these years nor whom had given me a roof over my head. A lot of girls will tell you how such a man is just a sperm donor to your mother and nothing more and now I understand why. There is no love in them. Maybe burning him with water was a bit extreme considering this situation we are in now but I would have done it all over again in a heartbeat.

“Why did you bring the hot water you stupid child? Are you trying to bring the police to my house?”

My mother asked me furiously and ran to him. Oh so now it was my entire fault? I wish I could ask her why she had the tjambok but looking at him now, if he was dead indeed then I would have caused more harm than her. Why is it for black people when a person falls the first thing we assume is that he is dead? I know it’s a stupid question because it’s in the extreme but it’s true nonetheless. We tend to fear the worst. We don’t have a 50\50 in us. It’s either good or bad but no grey area. Weird I know.

“He is alive! Stop screaming wena!”

She said to my sister. She touched him on his forehead, checked his pulse and then his body. He had just been temporarily knocked out by the hard fall.
“He is going to be fine!”

My mother declared after checking him out. I was so relieved. I could see she was too. My sister and all her screeching came to a halt. She is the one that had planted the dead idea in me.

“Give me a hand and let’s put him on the couch!”

She said with concern in her voice. My sister and I both rushed to her aid and helped him up. I could not help but imagine what damage I would have caused had I made contact with the water. What was I thinking? A moment of anger could have killed someone! He was groggy when he came around but he was fine. My mother gave him water. It was forgotten that she had beaten him with that thing.

“Why are you trying to kill me?”

He asked my mother but turned to look at me. Was it not obvious? I have always wondered if men actually care when they leave their kids behind. How can he ask it was so obvious why she was angry? Most of them do not give a single fuck to the damage their absence caused and think they can just walk back in and everything is sorted. That was our dear Robert here, absent father.

“I am sorry I should not have come here!”

He said and tried to stand up but he was still a bit whoozy so he fell back into the couch. It was not like my mother was going to let him go in any case. She held him down by the hand and said,

“Where do you think you are going? You have a lot of things to answer to so do not even think it!”

My sister being her came and sat in front of him so that she could hear for herself what was going on.

“Where have you been all these years?”

My mother asked him angrily.

“Where have I been?”

He asked her incredulously! What was he acting surprised for? He is the one who left us!

“That day when I left I was in an accident. I lost my memory and I was at Sterkfontein for three years! No one came for me and I did not know anyone! You did not look for me and you said you loved me!”

He was crying now. Real tears coming out of him but I was not sure what he was on about. Where was Sterkfontein? What is Sterkfontein. My mother seemed to recognize the name! Was he in prison? What did he mean he lost his memory? Black people do not lose their memory! Who did he think he was, Ridge? What kind of a bullshit story was that? It’s like sinus, have you ever met a white person with sinus, just one? No! It ain’t a white thing and I accept that, that ticky ticky noise we make on sinus is for us just like losing your mind is a white thing. If I heard this man correctly he was claiming amnesia! I know I am young but clearly I had heard it all.

“Where do you think I was all this time? You know I loved you even when you were still hung over on your late husband!”

I was not sure what was happening but fortunately I was not the only one shocked and in disbelief as my sister’s mouth was wide open. The nerve of this man.

He was not done,

“When I met your brother, he is the one who gave me all these details. I did not even know him and he punched me. Imagine a stranger hitting you in public because you ran away from his sister. I told him my story and. He did not believe me. I took him to Sterkfontein and they showed him all the records and only then did he agree to give me your numbers and told me about Faith.”

Thank God my mother still had her senses.

“Get out of my house and don’t come back!”

She said.

“Do you think I am a child? Get out before I kill you!”

She screamed.

He stood up and walked towards the door. He turned once and said,

“I am so sorry!”

To me and left!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike
I’m stressed hoping to die, I have being with this guy for two years. We had been fighting for months now. He is dating someone else on the side. Each time when I try to break up with him he doesn’t want he will call, come to my place seek forgiveness after we sort things out he runs back to that girl again, In June last year I got a miscarriage he blames me that I killed his child. I’m doing matric also I’m writing finals, he told me when I’m done writing we r going to move together to Pretoria I think he is fooling me or he is running away # I have tried to break up with him so many times what should I do.

Please help

43 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Fifty Six

  1. Q and A: Sweety it seems like you are the one that doesn’t wanna break up with him. Ngathi ungaqalisa ukuhoya incwadi zakho. There’s plenty of men out there but I’ve realised that real men are not so fond of sticking to dumb girls that do not value themselves.

  2. thanks Mikey! its been a while yhoooo! almost got admitted from heart failure.

    I usually don’t comment but did u just say u feel like dying just because of a man? let alone who doesn’t even love you? I mean seriously, its not like you don’t see that he doesn’t love you but you busy torturing yourself. .. for what? who? and why?…. in fact, shouldn’t you be worrying about much better things like passing your damn matric? u know it would have been much better if u were telling us that matric is stressing you in a way that u even want to hang yourself instead its a man. how clever of u. my advice, hang yourself and stop wasting our time. WHAT A WASTE!!

  3. Thanks bra Mike.
    Girl you need to love yourself more this time around make a stand no matter how painful it is tell him it’s over no matter how much he comes banging at your door. Tell him if he continues you will get a restraining order for him. when he’s left only then you can start your healing process properly.

  4. Ignore him. No one can force you to do things against your will. If he is physically abusive, open a case of domestic abuse against him & get a restraining order.

    If you can get pregnant with his child, it shows that u r still willing to open up your legs to him (unless he raped you, then thats a different story altogether).

  5. nice read Mike
    Concentrate in school and stop worrying about man, education is the key to success. How can you be worried about moving in with a man instead of asking help about ur studies. Gal get you priorities straight.

  6. The ladies or guys before me have said it all. I know it’s hard but you have to stand your ground and leave him. I honestly don’t think this guy loves you but his just stringing you along in a way that will seem like he loves you, men love doing this.

    He doesn’t want to seem like the bad guy and just leave you, so instead he’ll keep cheating and beg for forgiveness so that it he can be seen as though “oh atleast he tried” but essentially his playing with your head and wants you to be his ‘no matter what’ girl, you know those girls who stick by their men no matter what – like noba kwenzeka ntoni she’ll take his BS? Well if you don’t change you ways then you will earn yourself the title of being Miss No_Matter_What!. I don’t wanna say a lot but remember this… what you allow is what will continue.

  7. Q&A “you’re stressed hoping to die”?? Over this guy? You have made yourself his playmate he can go be with this girl come apologize then go back to this girl, you deserve better. He is still going to do the same thing in Pretoria and don’t you dare give him a child it will do more harm than good.
    I’m assuming you are between 18-21 in this case you’re still to young to be doing this to yourself leave this guy pass your matric go study somewhere far meet new people experience life.

  8. Sum of us galz enjoy putting ourslvz thru useless stress neh!hw cn u evn thnk of moving in with a guy hu hv guts 2tel u dt u killed his baby!u dnt deserve ds guy my dear I’m also sayn focus on ur studies,hw cn u evn thnk of killing urslf,LIKE REALLY!!

  9. Thanks Mike, but like Mike what about missteps? We must wait till saturday again? Hayi Mike.

    A2Q – aaahh this girl! You can’t be serious struu. You’ve tried sooo many times to end it. Yet he keeps coming back and you let him vele? Forget about this fool tuu! Wasn’t the miscarriage traumatic enough? Concentrate on your matric if you really wanna go to pretoria you’ll go next year when you go to varsity!

  10. Ehh u in matric, yet u stressed n hoping to die over a guy. I’d rather let Jackzorro advice u on this one. I really don’t have the energy.

  11. Q n a just yeka indozabantu abadala. Which women in their right minds wants to die for a lover who has played u from word go. He never loved u and he won’t start wen u move in together.
    Poor guy akasazi wat to do with u.
    On a serous note, love yourself before you even try falling for a guy. Chances are that you will stumble before u meet the 1. Okwamanje it’s either u brace yourself for this game or abstain n focus on your studies n future

  12. A2Q

    Seems like you dnt wanna break up with him…. Ppl have realy problems out there dnt waste out time…why do u even consider moving to pta with him??? You so young and n have the world @ ur own hands n u busy streessing and hoping to die over some stupid confused boy??? Arg shame

  13. That’s some sob story rite there I wonder if is true…
    Thank u Mike

    QNA Child u need to concentrate on our books and pass your matric not on some guy who clearly does not love you,he be should encouraging you to study hard not getting you preggies so young while you still school nogal.My dear you still young and you have the rest of your to look forward to why do you wanna end your life for a man.
    Stop dating whores you will go mad and end up in a coma!

    Wena study hard pass ur matric n graduate make your money be independent so u don’t have to scoop low to whores who think they can give u kids and cheat on you!Stop this self inflicting pain u know your man is a cheat but u keep on taking him back on top of that no protection “child” what happened to self love n respect?

    Leave that boy of yours is not like he’s hold a gun over your head saying you can’t leave me or else!Suicide won’t help anything he will still be here and you won’t and he will continue with his life n makes his dreams come true n live his life to the fullest without.Why can’t you do that for urself u owe him nothing move on and be happy with urself.

  14. Thanx abhut mike for d early morning read… d talent- wow…

    FAM I trust we ol bek safe n sound from d long weekend

    QnA u should b focusing on ur books.. matric is no walk in a park . U nid to work smart n pass exceptionally well so dat u open doors in all the universities den u choose which one u wanna study at. That good for nothing bf of urs just move on dol. He jus doesnt lov u.. he sees ur desperation.. dump him n mean it. Ol d best on ur studies. Sorry bwt ur miscarriage. .go for counselling-ts not ur fault. Forgive urself and mov on.

  15. Thanks Mike, I dont trust Robert shame.. How comes he remember the part that Faith’s Mom was still hung over on her late husband!” If he claim that he has amnesia. Maybe am wrong..

    QnA Focus on passing your damn Matric and stop wasting our time.. It very easy to dump a guy if you are not interested to him by IGNORING him. surely he will get a hint and leave you alone, unless if his immatured just like you. In a case of immaturity report him to the police. He will leave you alone..

  16. Amnesia really? he has been gone for over 20 years and he had “amnesia” for 3 years, how is that his family didn’t fill in the gaps, lying bastard mxm!

    matric girl, focus on school and leave this boy alone, you not even using protection so you think you ready to have a child in matric like seriously? ‘so stressed hoping to die” What is wrong with kids these days #shocked for decades

  17. Thanks Mikeesto.

    People are advising a teenager to go ahead and kill herself, and hear I was thinking I was the cruel one.

    Lil sister, you are selling yourself short, doing yourself a huge disservice and eternally wounding your conscious, all for a useless boy who has no consideration and shows no genuine devotion towards you. You are a child, you need to focus on things that make you happy, you should be looking forward to a bright future, your next shopping spree and your favourite TV shows. Your education is paramount and should be priority 1. Yes boys bring excitement and butterflies to one’s gut but it doesn’t last forever. You will meet another guy in a few months or years who will make you sweat and blush, his touch will make your body vibrate and you will be totally head over heels. Give yourself the opportunity to meet that guy as a pure and free spirited young woman with a positive outlook to life, cheerful and vibrant living large. If you continue to allow this thing that you love to spit on your heart like this, then you will be a bitter and miserable girl who will be consumed by hate when your prince comes along.

    Its a fairytale, and it can be yours. Its a nightmare but you can wake from this. You probably have a family that loves you, a family that would be torn apart by your suicide and wouldn’t be able to make sense of it. In a few weeks, you going to be alright and you will realise how stupid this letter of yours sounds and how naïve you were in this period. But do not be bothered, for this is a fundamental learning curve in your young life that was needed. This experience will mould you into a strong human being capable of facing any obstacles.

    Don’t ruin your life over a boy, there is so much to look forward to.. So many boys out there, so much clubbing to be done, varsities to be explored, cities to be travelled, food to be eaten, cars to be driven. Let him go sister, it seems life is ubearable without him for now, but you will get over it.

    Keep your head up.


  18. Thanks Makisto and Thoz Thoz.

    Reading all the comments here and realising that some people forget that they are talking to a teenager. I also wonder if some of you never dated in high school, felt those butterflies and think that even if he cheats he still wants me. Some of these letters we receive that some of us say are a waste of time are written by some who think this is the best option for them. Let us be constructive in our comments and strive to to build one another. We should criticise in love and try to be understanding.

    @Jackzorro, thank you, that was building.

    Lil sis take Jackzorro’s advise.

  19. Like really now…killing yourself 4 a boy. Aint u suppose 2 be reading your books,go out with your frends 2 de movies or something,go 4 shopping…already u had a miscarriage nd u were willing 2 get that baby out of wedlock nd b4 u even get your matric certificate…mmmm youth of 2day, I rest my case.

  20. QnA lol stressed hopin to die…just comit suicide alrdy really u dnt even have matric n u wna die for some tom who wl hv the rest of hs lyf afta uv died mcm waste of human breath really..finish school and forget abt boys u shud b worryng abt candy now nt dyng..moving to pta my foot ebile u the one dt dsnt wna brk up wt hm…aaaaah suka man

  21. Q&A hear it from another teenager, get something positive to do when you not studying e.g joining a sport team, ngacabangi kakhulu, akabalulekile believe me and usazokukhumbula and if engakukhumbuli its ok awuphileli yena vese. since you have experienced situation like this one join youth groups lana enizoxwayisa khona laba abancane about lezinja, xoxa nomuntu ometembayo but believe me umama wakho noa ngabe ihlinasi elinjani uzokulalela and azokusho kuwe yikho okuryt(abviously akekho muntu okuthanda njengaye)
    delete everything ezokukhumbuza ngalodoti, whatsapp, facebook, instagram, wechat, bbm…EVERYTHING!!!. and lastly ubhut’Jackzorro uqinisile CAO ukhona apply sikufuna evahvah, believe me bagcwele abafana abahle futhi and abazaziyo kuthi bafunani…

  22. Gal you need an education not a man. At your age you need to work hard on building your future . This guy is a jerk that will leave you with a fatherless child oneday for the social grand to provide for ur baby.

    Concentrate on your studies thats where you will find your happiness right now your asking us to lure you a problem to your life.

  23. Mtwana u r still young stru to b thinking the way u do, concentrate on finishing yo matric this boy is not worth yo life n as sad as u r maybe for losing his baby last year, maybe it was a blessing in disguise God didn’t want any bond between u n this boy.
    Getting out of an abusive relationship is hard, I know, but u have to pray about it, leave him while u still love him u n work hard on yo studies,u will feel better after a while. Kuzoba buhlungu should he leave u first so do the dumping baby gal.
    I hope for yo sake that u consider getting some councelling so that u can heal. He’s a loser leave him u will start being a strong person.

  24. You are allowing this man to control your life and exploit you by taking him back every time he cheats on you. He will continue to do it because you allowing him to regardless of where you will be staying. You need to be happy with you, stop putting your happiness in another person’s hands. You will survive if you decide to leave.

  25. Haai guys don’t be so hard on her she is asking for help not criticism, baby girl rather focus on your matric than him his not worth it trust me ive been thru a similar situation while i was in matric and trust you me you would rather focus on passing than this guy. Ask God for Guidance he will help you that much I know, you still young boo anyway all the best.

  26. QnA: Ewu, it’s a pity corporal punishment is deemed to be a violation of children’s rights. Wena udinga uswazi nje kuphela then kuzophela ukuhlanya loku okukuphethe ….. You want to kill yourself ova a stupid boy you should have left ages ago….?????!!!! Seriously….???!!! You have allowed this boy to turn you into a doormat and you want to kill yourself….??? Find something else to feel suicidal about.

  27. Adv Cmndr Maphoto: Salute!

    Q&A: Ppl pls, DON’T EVER ENCOURAGE somebody contemplating suicide. U cannot say go ahead even as a joke. Suicide is as real as stress.
    Im sho W all have gone thru “butterflies/crushes/bad breakups” & similar moments & as a teenager its like the end of yo little world.
    Talk 2a friend babie. Its a phase & it will pass. U will B surprised when U look back 2yrs from now & maybe find a gud guy. In love its abt 2ppl giving selflessly their 50% each 2build a relationship that is 100%. If U giving mo than the other, chances R it won’t go far.
    Gud luck in yo healing. Suicide is no solution.- PapaG.

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