We are told that as a parent you must love your child regardless of whether they are a frog or a princess, a criminal or an angel! It’s an interesting one because when that child turns out entirely bad people start to say, ‘what kind of mother birthed that devil’ or ‘how did you raise such a monster’? It’s interesting at best how it is the mother and not the father that is forever blamed for the failure! I don’t get it why some of us women want to have one child because there is no guarantee that your child will turn out a success! In fact it should scare you that your child could die especially in this country where we commit crime for fun, or I think what’s worse if your child becomes that criminal we all fear. Girl children your fear is her becoming a village bicycle, mother at fifteen, on drugs or to put it mildly every single vice that’s out there, anything. That’s the reality of a Johannesburg parent because all these vices are waiting for your child to slip up! My point is, what do you do next if you have the misfortune of having mothered this child. I love my daughter with everything that I have. She is my very reason for breathing because I work so hard so that she only gets the best in life. I have no other purpose as far as I am concerned but most of these kids do not give one fuck about that! To her, in her teenage years, you are the reason why she is in unhappy and she can do without you! That’s the sad part!
I sat down on the stair case and I cried. I cried not because my husband had been telling the truth but because of the cruelty in the child I had raised. She might be a spoiled brat but up till two days ago she had also been a sweet child. What had snapped inside her? What kind of child had I raised? Had I been so blinded blinded by my love for her to have seen this inside of her! How does someone do that? My daughter was not a child anymore! She knew right from wrong and this was beyond. What was I supposed to do now? She had just made me chase my husband, her father out for the fun of it!
“That is cruel. I can’t believe you did that! What do you think your mother is thinking now?”
Nelisa asked her.
“Oh come on, she is stronger than she looks, don’t be fooled. Besides, she hit me so she doesn’t love me!”
I heard my daughter say! She had so much anger in her. I was not sure if confronting her now was the right move!
“My mother hit me once! I thought my world would come to an end! Imagine, she hit me in front of the whole school! For weeks the other school kids would laugh at me! I wanted to kill her. It took me a few weeks to realize that she hit me out of love and frustration more than anything else!”
The older girl explained!
“Has your mother ever hit you before?”
She continued of which my daughter answered No!
“Then how can you say she doesn’t love you? There are kids who get whipped everyday for next to nothing!”
I could hear by how my daughter replied that what Nelisa had said was affecting her.
“Look I don’t need your opinion ok! You don’t know my mother so you can’t speak for her. If your mother was so special why did my father leave her?”
“E la lela Sisi, listen, I am not your mom, I will beat you right here, right now and I won’t give a fuck about it! Do not for a second think you can disrespect my mother just like I would never do that to yours! Do you hear me?”
Nelisa said. She had a temper. I had no energy to go rescue my daughter. I was done protecting her.
“I am sorry I did not mean it like that!”
She said immediately backing down. Maybe this Nelisa kid was not so bad after all. My daughter needed someone to tone down that evil side that had arisen in her.
“You need to apologise to your parents! What you did was wrong and only a fool fails to see it!”
Her words though! She sounded so mature when she spoke something which my daughter did not have in her. I stood up and decided it was time for her to leave and I was not even sure how she was going to go because I had no desire of driving her. I would have wanted them to converse a bit more because this one seemed to be imparting good lessons to her but it was getting late.
I went downstairs where I found Mapula cleaning up. I told her she could do it tomorrow but she said no, it would only attract cockroaches. I knew she had heard that confrontation and it’s very embarrassing when your maid hears all these things. What could I do though? I knew she wanted to say something but she would never dare as that could cost her her job. I don’t know truly how women do it. To work for another woman who is not only younger than you but she bosses you around too. I am certain she had words of wisdom for me but my pride would never allow to be advised by my maid. It’s true, most women have people have women with marital experience who can advise us but because we pay them we see them as beneath us hence why we would never ask them. Pride in all honesty has destroyed most marriages!
I tried calling my husband but he did not pick up. I had hurt him I know but how does one blame me? He had acted so guilty when I confronted him and my daughter had been so convincing. If I lost him this would be what I call losing him on a technicality. I had not jumped to conclusions! I had asked him in front of her and he had messed that up. I wanted my husband back because up till this week he had been a good man, a boring one, but good.
“Mom, I am sorry. I lied about dad! I don’t know what got over me.”
She said as soon as I entered the room. I think I had intended to react but I chose not to. I told Nelisa that it was time to leave. Her father had left so might have to get a cab. She said not to worry Rodney was already on the way. With everything that was going she felt it was the last thing we needed as a family, her being here! I assured her that it was not always this chaotic and I apologised for Lintle. She laughed it off and said she had seen worse. Her phone rang about that time. She said her ride was here.
I walked her out and Lintle chose to stay. We stay in a large estate and there are sub estates within it. There. Are boom gates and codes to enter these sub estates. He parked at at the boom gate but did not come in when I opened it for him. That was odd. She immediately walked fast towards the car but I kept up with her. I wanted to see this famous Rodney. I stopped when I saw him.
You know I half expected Rodney to be her age or closer but there was this man in the car. A real grown up man!
She kissed him as the car drove off and I know she knows I was looking.
What the hell?
This girl had a sugardaddy!
I did not want her near my daughter because she will rub off!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the wonderful blogs.
I am 31 and got married at the age of 23. Three years into the marriage my husband died in a car accident. He was 27 when we married. It was the most devastating time of my life. We had a son together and at home he was an only child. I loved my husband dearly. The problem is that my in laws seem hostile to the idea of me moving on and I won’t lie I am a bit ashamed too. After he died we got very close with my in laws. They substitute everything I earn and contribute to my child and indeed myself. I work as PA meaning I don’t earn a lot. I have been upgrading my education. I already have Honors in my field so it’s not like I have been idle. Getting a job though is a problem but that’s not my point. I recently met a new guy. I like him. I feel like I am betraying my super in laws if I tell them it’s time I dated again. It’s not just the love and support they give but the financial support too that I would betraying plus my son as well.
Please advise me on how best to tell them I should date again without losing them in the process.