Realities – Chapter Thirteen

Does anyone have an idea of how many kids have been beaten up by their parents by virtue of being guilty by association? Your friend does something and the mothers gang up and involve you in something you are not even part of? Most males understand this completely but for women it’s different. If your friend is riding with taxi drivers and your mother finds out, usually it can even be just a rumor, that friendship is automatically cut! It’s considered contagious if your child’s friend is doing negative things hence why as parents we want that friendship over with immediate effect! Nelisa was different though, she was soon to be family and beautiful as she was I am certain would be attracting even more sugar daddies. What kind of a parent would I be to be so naïve to the appeal of such vile people to out daughters? With the perks they come with girls find it appealing, and those who don’t have one envy girls getting these nice things and ultimately the child you love is used as a scuftin for a mere extra rand! Have we failed so bad as society that a 50 year old man gets to stick his old used up schlong into your grade eleven daughter and people call it normal? No I could not accept that. I did not want my daughter near his daughter! One day when you are mother, whether you are sleeping with sugardaddies right now or not you will understand the pain and sense of failure in what I am talking about!

I watched the car drive because this was yet another shock to my system on a day of many. I was speechless. The nerve of these men though, I clap once tu! I tried calling my husband because I needed to fix this but as soon as I dialed I changed my mind and decided that no, Lintle should fix it. I had my own apologies to make but she must learn responsibilities. The doorbell rang as soon as I walked into the house! What the hell? She had just left! I was so irritated but I open the door regardless. It was not her, it was a lady I had never met with a young boy of 16 or 17. I almost jumped in fright because strangers at your door this late in Jhb is definitely not something you want.

“I am sorry to disturb you so late!”

The lady then out of the blue pulled the boy by his ear and said,

“Say what you have to say right now!”

She hissed at the boy. I managed to look behind them and there was a black mercedes in my driveway. I knew exactly who this was! I folded my arms across my chest. Perhaps it was instinct I don’t know it just happened.

“I am sorry maam I picked up your daughter from school! I am sorry I skipped school and I am the reason why kids are bad these days!”

She hit him on the back of the head with a clap and made the pop sound.

“You are not done!”

She said, really!

“Ma’am may I please apologise to your daughter too for the part I played!”

I didn’t hesitate at all! Why could I not be this mom whose son was completely and totally terrified of? Why? I could see the fear in his eyes! He was not even faking it because his mother was not either!


I shouted. She came downstairs immediately. When she saw him she immediately ran back upstairs saying,

“I am not dressed properly!”

Of with the mother of the boy just rolled her eyes! It was actually funny to be honest. She came downstairs after I called her name again.

“Hi hi how you?”

She said so sweetly. The child could not even see that now was not the time to be cute. Her friend was in trouble and to make this sink in the mother smacked him again on the back of the head. The way he was so embarrassed even I felt for him. You know how these boys want to be cool all the time, what do they call it again, swag! It was all but stripped off him.

“Lintle I am sorry I pulled you out of school! It shall never happen again! I have no drivers license and that was irresponsible. I stole my mothers car, she didn’t give it to me like I lied to you. I am actually 16 and not 18.”

He said. Lintle is an idiot shem! She burst out laughing when he said that but it was more out of disbelief than actual humor! Then there was realization and a scowl on her face!

“Young lady apologise to this lady too!”

I said to her. Only after the words came out did I panic. I forgot that her being Lintle she could say something to embarrass me but I think the shock of seeing her crush humbled like that made her lose her stubbornness.

“I am sorry maam! My mum already hit me for it. I won’t do it again!”

Overkill but I will accept that for now! The lady said her goodnight and that was that, she dragged him by the ear all the way to the black mercedes.

“When you are done apologising call your father and apologise for lying! You broke his heart!”

I said coldly.

“Ah I can’t believe Nelisa told you! She is such a traitor!”

She stomped her feet angrily on the floor.

“No she did not tell me. I was standing outside your door so I had you chuckle at the fact that you could have destroyed the one man who loves you to death!”

She looked at me stunned!

“Wow mom are you really now spying on me! Really mom! How low can you sink!”

I just felt my hand go up, I could not stop it, and I slapped the smugness off her face!

“Now go call your dad!”

I said as calmly as possible!

“How am I supposed to call him if I have no phone?”

Her one eye was red and the tears were streaming down her face! Her fear and shock also made her realize that mommy was no longer playing her games! She had asked me a good question. I debated with giving her her phone back and decided against it. She will use my phone. I told her to go get it on my bed upstairs so she can make the call. She went and came back. I heard her tell her father how sorry she was about what had happened. She said that she could not control her temper lately and she needed help. She asked if she could talk to someone and if we could arrange that for her because she did not want to be this person. My baby was admitting that she needed help. Finally we had turned a corner! Finally!

I went to my room and started packing for tomorrow. I was not taking the train because I wanted to go see the private investigator. We had a lot to discuss according to him. I did not want him coming to the hospitals because people would know my business. Frustrating. I packed my handbag and made sure I put my bank cards because I had to withdraw money for him.

In the morning Khanyi took her transport. This time I was certain she was going to school. I tried calling Sizwe but he ignored my calls. I sent him a message to apologize. On my way to work a light came on in the car. It was not end of month yet but I did not have fuel. What the hell? I should have taken the train! I decided to stop at the garage. I asked for a full tank gladly, the man did my window, even added a pint of oil. He then came and told me I owed r743.

I took out my bag to pay.

My wallet was missing! Complete with all my bank cards. I could feel myself boiling.


I screamed out loud startling the attendant!

She had stolen my entire purse and I know she was angry for the clap! She better not destroy my cards!

Why me?


******The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for the reads!

I went through a rough patch the past months! I dont even know where to start! Mike i went through pregnancy alone, baby daddy only went with me to a couple of doctors appointments. He was not there for me. I always told him that but i made peace that i was all alone in this. In Jan before I went on maternity we patched things up as he didnt want his child to be raised by someone else. I gave him another chance…when i gave birth he was there.. He was part of our lives me and baby he left his job and did a course in Vip protection in Jan in order for him to better his life. In march he started to get sick and unfortunately he pass on. I never felt so much pain in my life… but we communicated until the day he passed. His brother phoned me and told me that his mother say i should not attend the funeral because there will be a lot of feet as baby is only 2 months old. Mike i didnt go i feel she (mother)denied me closure… I am so hurt i cry every day… Its a month since his passing but i cry everyday. I have known him for 8 years and i was not suppose to bury the father of my child. She has never seen the baby nor contacted me eva since… I think i am busy loosing my mind because im hoping that he might call or come see me as i didnt c him going down to the ground…i never thought that any person can b so selfish… I am just wondering do i tell my child when she is old enough what her fathers people did …….can i be anonymous


24 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Thirteen

  1. QnA I cannot imagine what you’re going through but this too shall pass. It won’t be easy but eventually it will get better. Don’t be angry at his mother, trust me, losing a child is the worst feeling in the world and let her mourn in her own way. Maybe she’ll want to see the child when she is healed or when she’s accepted her son’s passing. However, your baby daddy’s family should do right by you and bahlawule umtwana, and only then can the child be properly accepted by the family. Sisi wami my deepest condolences for your loss, uNkululunkulu uphile, uNkulunkulu uthathile. Seek all your answers in God. Goodluck

  2. Yipeee 3rd ta comment! 🙂 great chapter thanks Abuti Mike and team. . Lintle though lolin I love this child. She kinda reminds me of myself

  3. Thanks Mike…. When i am in situations like that I always e-wallet myself some money, technology is advanced these days unless if Lintle never gave back the phone after calling the dad…… If its like that EISH!!!!! Harde..

    QnA: Widowed, I have never been in your situation but I can only imagine what you are going through…. I come from a very cultured family so we have those unreasonable rules and stuff. I know in my culture you are not allowed to do many things in your state because it is seen as a taboo.

    I cant help but feel you are abit selfish, Yes you lost a partner whom you shared a child with and have known for about 8 years but you are complaining that his mother has not even called you, She has just lost a child, she has known and brought up since she was a mere child. All I am asking is for you to be considerate, If she does not call you, what stops you from calling her? Call her, check up on her, how is she holding up and so on. Just remember you are not the only one at loss here. When your child is over 6 months and your Mother in law has not come to see her, take your child to her, If she doesn’t accept your child my dear you cannot force her but atleast you can tell your child you tried.

    Now about telling your child about the whole funeral thing, I beg you, please dont, Your child still needs both families so do not create this unnecessary hate towards her father’s family. You are a mother and you are supposed to protect your child from any harm or hurt. If you want closure, you can always go to his grave, visit his resting place, cry and let go..

    Good Luck and May God give you strength through this trying time.

  4. Widowed, that is what happened to my mother when she was 2 months pregnant with me, her husband’s family said they would plan the funeral and on that day, they cleaned out their place and went to god knows where and buried him. I don’t know my fathers family, my sister was too young to remember. what I am trying to say is your child will not miss people she/he doesn’t know (his family) and the child is too young to have any feelings of loss towards the dad, all the child will see is your hurt towards what happened. children are resilient, just grieve for your loss, time heal all wounds.

  5. Q&A

    This is very touching Myself and Jackzoro better not comment on this one its beyond us. SIs just pray and get someone to talk to, you cant go through this alone. I cannot comment on the merits of you not attending the funeral, wasnt there any alternatives such as leaving the baby and coming alone to the funeral? with time you will heal

  6. Thnx Mikey and team awesome read as always. Tjo Lintle m speechless right now, dis kid is really out of hand. Miss doctor just send her to boarding school enough is enough you.

  7. Thank you Mike for the great read.

    Q&A Im very sorry for what you are going through, one can only imagine the pain. time in deed heal all wounds, I totaly disagree with God’s favourite Daughter, you are not being selfish. it was unfair to be told not to attend your patners funeral and insensitive. Im not saying the mother in law is a bad person but she made an inconsiderate decision hence she is not the only person who lost a son, you lost a patner and your child lost his father. I would like to advice you to burry the past and move forward, focus on your child and on yourself in finding happiness again if not for your sake but for your child. Find it in your heart to forgive the childs granny for your own sanity.

    Pray harder because God is right there besides you, let him carry the weight for you. He is the God of the Widows, the opharns and all those who seek him

  8. Thanks Mike.
    These things happen. Raising a child is hard work and if you think the government will help raise your kid by telling you what to do and what not you will have Lintle for a child. This kid needs thorough beating and see if she will call the cops.

  9. Great read as always Lintle is a problem child tjerr

    Dear widowed,
    I’m so sorry for ur loss.
    Just lost my uncle recently and he had two baby mamas who were not allowed to come to the funeral. I don’t understand how that works but they each bought blankets for his casket as a sign of last respect. It doesn’t make sense but it’s one of those things. I say don’t take this personal & don’t expect them to reach out to them if you have not done the same.

    Have u called the mother to ask her how she is doing or just to tell her about your child and how much you miss your boyfriend?

    Reach out & let them know that they should do right by the child. having the family involved might bring a bit of closure to you & the family.

  10. Thanx again big Mike

    Eish Little yooooh!!!! … I hope parents are learning a thing or two here on how we spoil our kids now she is a demon, she lacks respect that’s all, I don’t want to talk about rights because they are the extended family if not the head office…..Anon you have a daughter to raise so be strong for her, one day when she is older u will tell her what happened. Ungamkwateli your mother in law she had her reasons. Good luck


  11. Q: Am really sorry about your loss my dear, although you wont fully recover it will definitely get better with time. Allow yourself to grieve, its natural and it cleanses the soul.

    About the funeral, unfortunately that is the rule, its our culture. You need to keep yourself from a lot of things especially when your child is less than 3 months old. It was not personal, I don’t think your mother in law was being selfish or heartless. If she doesn’t call you, you must call her, Adults have this thing of thinking that because they are older we need to make an effort, again I don’t think she means anything by it. She never married you , although you are the baby mother, you are not her makoti. So imagine if there was 3 or 4 of you with her son`s kids, was she suppose to call all of you? Clearly she is a cultured person, send your family to hers to formally introduce the child if that was not done and then you can take it from there. If she doesn’t make an effort after that then you can let it go.

    You don’t have anything bad to tell your child about the funeral as what they did is within culture.

    Sending him off would have been great for closure, but the most important person was him when he was alive and you managed to talk to him till the very last day, that my dear is the greatest closure you could have ever asked for.
    All the best, ask for God`s hand in your life and he will help you through this

  12. The government should really not have a say in how we handle our children.

    Lintle is a pure result of children who are not disciplined, Prov 13:24 says ” whosoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

    Thanks Team

  13. God is no fool widowed,she was protecting 1 of her own…..consider it a blessing nd don’t go as far as letting your baby know wat kind of people she/he was born in2….mu nid 2 protect baby since u r on ur own!! Hope de future is bright 4 u nd baby….nd may ur man b de star 2 guide u thru dis difficult tym…stay blessed nd don’t forget God is no fool..

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