Realities – Chapter Sixteen

Do you have any idea how many women reading this right now wish their men will just go down on his knees and ask to make an honest woman of them? Even the feminists will tell you that marriage is something quite special but why does it elude so many women? Is it because we demand so much or because the men see so little in us? It’s a fact, most women by the time they get a man to go down on one knee will have been chewed up and spat out by so many other men. It’s a mystery why you all wear white wedding dress because you lost your virginity at 15 and today ten men down the line you want to play virgin bride. With men, they soil your body, use it to their pleasure and discard you in the same they dispose a tissue after use! That’s reality! Call me a feminist but this bullshit comes from the fact that we think marriage is as close to heaven as we can get. Not true! How many women do you know who are miserable in their station as wives no matter how hard they try to bring joy to the marriage will still tell their daughter that she has to find a husband. We are quick to blame the men when it’s us who allow for that situation to even happen to us! So here he was proposing to me again! I could not say yes seeing that he had so many secrets. Babies popping out everyday and now possibly a case against him. It was all too much to take!

“Daddy you are home!”

Lintle ran in saying. She stopped mid stride and said,

“Oh, wow!”

She looked at him as though reading the situation and her eyes widened when she saw the ring and her father on her knees. I think at first she had thought he was begging me because of the way she had stopped and all that had happened. All girls love a man on his knees! I don’t know why, even as children a wedding was the most beautiful thing ever. I know as we get older a wedding for black people no matter how beautiful is the worst wedding ever if there is not enough food but when you are kids you simply don’t care as long as you can see the bride in white! I don’t know about male children how they view it of course but for girls, heaven. As a woman my age, firstly not many black women renew vows because you are either usually not married to the same man long enough to do it, you are financially stretched as a family or my favourite, he is just too thick to remember what romance is! That’s married black men for you and they have the nerve to say women get too comfortable! Men are worse!

I was snapped out of my thoughts by my daughter’s voice!

“Mum is dad doing what I think…”

She closed her mouth with her hand in shock and delight. She was even jumping up and down to express her excitement. It was such a pretty site considering so far only the devil inside her is what I have shown you. My beautiful daughter. An elephants tusks are never too heavy for it by why did she overwhelm me so much!

“Oh my God, Oh my God. Dad are you?”

She asked him.

“Shut up and help me get your mother to decide. It will be like we both proposed to her”

He said and he smiled at her. I am not sure if it had meant to be what it is, a simple joke or if he was actually panicking that I might say no. I read somewhere that amongst men, marrying a woman of high profession like Engineer, Doctor, Chartered Accountant, Business Owner is a huge bonus because for them if they divorce that woman and end up with a woman of any lesser profession they will have failed dismally in life. Imagive Kevin Ferdeline, he was married to Britney Spears so where is he now? Just saying…

“Do you want me to come kneel with you and ask her?”

She asked sweetly. He nodded in the affirmative. It just hit home with her!

“Ah daddy that’s so sweet! That’s all I ever wanted for you to stop fighting! Mum don’t let him stay there too long now! Wait, let me do an instavideo”

She said ran upstairs and came back again,

“Mum, I need my phone for this, you can take it back when we done! Oh my gosh dad is way too sweet!”

She said and she was so excited. She was glowing like the little girl I had raised all these years. The daughter I put first before all else was back be it temporarily. I was cornered though. Now I had to say yes. If I said no she would just further drift away and this time I feared there would be no coming back from that. I told her to take her phone in the bedroom and she ran so fast I think her shadow is still trying to catch up.

“Dad please ask her again,”

She said but quickly changed her mind!

“No actually go outside and act as though you are entering for the first time!”

We both turned and said,


Yes really was her response. Her father was in a good mood and was a good sport. He immediately stood up whilst I just stood there like a statue. He indulged his daughter, one of many and rang the bell again. I opened it and he went down on his knees. He proposed.

“Yes I will marry you again!”

I said and laughed. I started crying. I am a girl after all. My daughter too was crying. We were bonded again by love. This made it tricky for me because we had to discuss Lintle and her behaviour, what punishment to give her and the like. We could not just let this pass most definitely! My husband said we should not talk about anything negative tonight because we had all been through a lot and instead let’s reserve it for tomorrow. I agreed because I was not ready for another bout with Lintle. She had homework to do and she complained about no Internet access but I told her she will survive. She gave me back her phone but she was not too grumpy about it. Apart from eat dinner together this was the first family thing we had done in a long time. I know! Work and so called life makes you neglect the important things.

As I was sitting with him I got a sms from the private investigator I had hired.

“The girls name is Nozipho!”

It read. Now I knew her name but what to do about it.

“I think we should go to Sun City this weekend!”

I said to my husband as we prepared for bed. I thought it would be a nice thing to makes bond as a family. I was not bring up all the drama for now because we needed to heal first then deal with matters one by one. It made perfect sense.

“Mmm just the two of us? That would be romantic!”

He said with a huge grin on his face!

“Nope not just us. You, Me, Lintle and Nelisa!”
He was a bit confused and I don’t think he was smiling.

“It would give Lintle a chance to bond with her new sister, you a chance to get to know her and me peace of mind knowing we not leaving Lintle behind to cause myhem!”

Men! They love getting away with shit. I could see the relief in his eyes but I was not done,

“Next time we will include Nozipho too for good measure!”

I said casually. You should have seen his jaw drop!


He said I am not sure why but oh well,

“Yes, Nozipho, your other daughter from Nelisa’s mothers sister! I hope I got that right! But yes her!”

We stood there and stared at each other!

****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto


I am 7 months pregnant and I am just so distraught at this point. I am currently in a different province from the father of my child. This morning the mother of his child 1st child (whom I was aware of), called and started throwing all sorts of accusations at me. Saying that i have bewitched him and that he will wake up some day. Fine, that hurt but What I wasn’t expecting is that she revealed some other things that he’s been up to while we were together plus another child I wasn’t aware. I am just hurt and don’t even know what to believe. I have not given him a chance to explain himself but in my heart I know that I want nothing to do with him but I still love him. I don’t even know what to ask advice on cause I just want to walk away & never look back, so I’m just venting. I don’t need people to judge and call me names. I just need encouragement to keep me going for the sake of my child’s chances of survival.


27 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Sixteen

  1. thanx mike ….that was a bomb. nozipho. question …..plz leave this guy do it after giving brth cz u dont need to stress a lot in ur condition …he is a user

  2. Sorry girlie. With men these days you don’t know till you know. Next time check how a man treats his baby mama because most likely she isn’t crazy but the guy is a creep.

  3. Dear Hurt

    This is from on sister to another. I have being in the similar situation like yours, the only difference is I was not pregnant. My view is always difficult to make decisions when the is a child or children involved like in your situation.

    I have gone through the drama you are going through. Deep in my heart I knew that the guy was a liar and has done all other things which the baby mother will call and swear at me and tell me about.. With me she made another girl pregnant while we wee in a relationship of six years.
    I tried so hard to make it work, and all my suspicions started proofing themselves to be true. after two years of trying to make it wok I decided to walk away, which was the eighth year of us dating.

    after I accepted and moved on with my love, more kept coming out, all the things that he denied came out on black and white.

    There are BOYS out there ( I mean BOYS Not MEN),who think telling us lies and having multiple partners an hurting us ladies is a COOL thing. I am giving you advice as a sister who cares, for the sake of your sanity, walk away now because you will get more hurt when you stay. He will come up with more lies to cover others.

    In almost two months you will be a mother, focus on that. give yourself time to heal now and take each day as it comes because some days are tougher than others. all you need to do is forgive him and never deny him the opportunity to be a father to his child.

    one day you will find MAN, who understand what it means to be a man.

    Maybe you should also go for counselling.

  4. @ Hurt. I know what you are going through. You will be ok. We can love people but not be with them. You deserve a man who will not allow his past to interfere with what ever he has with you. He probably still has a relationship with the 1st baby mama, that’s why she felt like she can insult you. I say walk away, try focus on your baby, try and spend time with friends and family, reduce the stress. We want you to give birth to a healthy baby that will bring you immeasurable joy. And lastly, pray, ask for strength and protection for the safe arrival of your little one.

  5. QnA sorry dear. My prayer all day everyday is Lord please raise us men who wil understand what being a man really is. Not these vultures who hurt us, lie to us, rape us, beat us up etc. Ladies lets go back to the basics, seek first the kingdom of God den ol else d Lord wil provide.. trust God den ur Lord’sent marriage, husband , children will follow.

  6. Thanks Mikeesto, so many different moods to my dose today, very interesting.

    Hurt, qina sisi, uzoba strong, lendoda ikujwayela kabi but you will be ok. Give him a chance to give his version just for closure. After hearing what he has to say, you can then make an informed decision, besides, how are you going to believe the his ex babymama and not give him chance? She could be lying just to cause problems for ya’ll. Play your cards right sisi.


  7. wow drama after drama, woman we are strong indeed our hearts love and forgive all the bad things our husband do, pat or present.

  8. Ai mina sometimes I really doubt this whole marriage thing I don’t think I want to get married if a man is going to lie to me about such serious things yoh mina I’m confused now can we even trust men these days.

  9. Nyc one Nothabo!!!!!!! He didn’t see that curve ball coming!

    Hurt, Madam T’s advice is the one…..A “boy” like that will only hurt more and more, for your own sake, let it go, some things are not worth it especially when you are pregnant. the less stress you have, the better.

  10. My dear i say let it go now rather dan later. Iv been there.. The babymama never lies she is just hurt nd knows him too well dear. He is going to lie nd lie more. Open ur eyes dear. Let him be the father thou if he wants to.

  11. Hola big Mike done it again
    At least they will discuss everything at once now, I like the way she dropped the bom

    QnA I like the fact that u knew about the baby mama and u never felt anything for her instead u went in and joined the line . Now u are being unfair to your baby ’cause he or she might not know their father foreverm another Khumbula ekhaya client in making….think again gud luck

    Sbu wa

  12. Mike usikhokho I tell you, what a manner of approach from the intelligent Dr. cant wait for the next chapter.

    QnA well said Madam T, I’ve also been in a similar situation I know exactly how you feel. be strong sis for your child sake. and please don’t resent the baby for his father sin. your boyfriend his day is coming, trust me

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