There is thing in African culture in which we say a child will never lie. I don’t know where we get it from especially when it comes to a daughter telling her mother about her father’s shenanigans. We believe that the girl child has empathy towards the mother that’s why she will always report her father if he is doing something naughty. In fact she is expected to take after her mother in most traits hence why she is considered closer to her mother than father. She will not however report the mother and most often girl children believe that the mother is entitled to a bit of fun every now and again. This is not synonymous to black culture even white people have similar beliefs. Now as wife when your child tells you that what’s your first reaction. Do you throttle the man to express your anger? Sounds nice doesn’t it. Do you look at him and ask him to explain himself? In all honesty though men are the biggest liars if ever there was an example of it! Somehow we are taught to believe that women are the liars but truth be told we are nothing compared to men. Men lie even when it’s not necessary especially when they want to look important for a woman. That’s when they are at their best lying game.
My husband dropped the fork in his hand.
“What did you just say?”
I think he had wax in his ears because we had all heard what she had said. Even she changed her point at this point there was no turning back!
“I said. Tell mom how I caught you kissing Mrs Dlamini! You the one who said we must be honest always!”
She said taking a mouthful of rice!
“Sizwe don’t try to intimidate the child! You know. Truly well what she is talking about!”
Mrs Dlamini, Samantha, was a young lady who had lived in the same complex with us. She was only about 27 at the time but had two kids and married to a politician. She was also a stunning woman, the type that intimidate you to such an extent you don’t want them near your husband. She however was not a flirt and barely acknowledged our existence. My husband and her husband where on friendly terms but even then I would not call them friends. That’s why this was so shocking! Men! You can never trust them! They had moved out though and moved to a bigger estate from what I had heard, he was rich bugger the husband though a bit older than her. That’s all I remember of her but I knew exactly whom it was she was talking about!
I stood up angrily! It had sunk in!
“Not only do you have a bastard child now you are having affairs too Sizwe!”
He also stood up. I did not look at Nelisa as I said that but through my peripheral vision I saw her look down. Maybe that was a cheap shot but that had not been intended for her at all.
“I don’t know what she is talking about! You know me Nothabo that is not me! I do not cheat!”
All men say they don’t cheat. If Vavi can cheat in his office who is innocent! If Winnie Mandela can cheat on Nelson with Dali and Dali knowing who her husband is then who am I to even believe him! I can’t even defend him not that I wanted to. People say trust your man but why would a child, your child lie!
“Lintle when did I do this?”
He asked her in what sounded like desperation to me. I was not going to allow him to attack my child. No ways! I was not. He was destroying my family and I.
“Leave her out of this! Lintle, Nelisa go upstairs now!”
I shouted at the girls. When I said Nelisa’s name the shame swept in. Imagine meeting her for the first time and here I was falling apart like this. We had just shown that we were a very imperfect family in the moments she was here. I am all about keeping up appearances but I could not contain myself!
“Now you are saying our child is lying? Why would she lie? Why? What does she have to gain from that?”
I said. The cat caught his tongue! He was busted.
“You know what? I think I want a divorce! You are a liar and a cheat and I am not that woman who forgives cheating!”
I screamed! I went to him and starting punching him crying. He did not hit me back but kept on saying to me I must not do this! Imagine being caught by your own daughter cheating!
“Get out of my house now!”
I continued. He did not fight me. He picked up his keys and walked out. It was only moments later that I remembered he had left his bastard upstairs! Fuck! I was not going to drive her! I went up stairs to call her and to tell her to leave with that dog of a father of hers! I was not playing like that!
When I got upstairs Lintle’s door was slightly open.
“You shouldn’t have done that? Now you have started a fight that will never end!”
I heard Nelisa say to Lintle! I was not sure if this was a threat towards Lintle per say or she meant generally.
“They will get over it! I lied. My dad is too much of a coward to cheat on my mother! I was just punishing her for hitting me yesterday! Now we even!”
She said and giggled!
Oh my God!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Please post on Rumblings or Realities.
I have a friend. .. A great friend of mine whose 36 and is self employed. This friend of is going through a hectic messy divorce. He has 2 kids with his X wife to be. The divorce hasn’t been easy on him, I have seen him cry and it was just so heartbreaking…. But through the Grace of the Almighty He is getting better but he is lonely. Very lonely. I need to find him someone and I need the Teams help.. He needs Someone whose not looking for something serious. .. Someone whose willing to have fun with him… No gold diggers please… She needs to be practical, respectful, mature with a great sense of humour (his words). He has offices around Bloem, PTA and North west. If you maybe going through the same thing and perhaps need a friend whom you will be there for or visa versa kindly email me with a description of yourself and I will forward your emails to him and he will reply. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org